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Don’t Be That Rape Apologist: Arthur Koestler, Judgy Bitch, and why MRAs hate rape awareness campaigns

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?
Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.

I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.

But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.

While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”

Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”

But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:

The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.

Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.

The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.

The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.

Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.

It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):

posters1edmonton-police-re-launch-poster-campaign-to-deter-sexual-assault_posters

It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.

Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.

This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.

“Do you like this?” “Yes.”

“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”

But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.

And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.

They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.

And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.

Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.

Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:

No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …

Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.

And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.

I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.

That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.

Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.

And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:

While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

Somehow this confession — boast? —  hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.

Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,

Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness,  Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.

Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.

A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.

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Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Guys, I’m at my mother’s office, which means I need to go out back to smoke. Try not to break Petey while I’m gone?

Thanks!

kiki
kiki
11 years ago

Instead, you simply go with the crowd. “Yup, this guy thinks it’s good, it must be good…”

Whereas “Yup, I think it’s good, it must be good” is much more scientific. Crowds of one are never wrong!

cloudiah
11 years ago

Oh I am very much wanted here. After all, otherwise all you guys would be doing is sitting around licking each other’s asses and sucking each other’s dicks…

High-level critical thinking, guys! It appears our mockery burns hotter than jet fuel, which is why Petey’s meltdown has commenced. 😀

leftwingfox
11 years ago

How it destroy confidence not only governments, but in people in general. It is not a pleasant thing to believe at all.

On the contrary, it’s a safe thing to believe. Not only are you not responsible for it, but you can do NOTHING ABOUT IT!

I’ve known a few conspiracy theorists, and one common trait of these conspiracies are that they are disempowering. We are pawns of powerful interests and shadowy forces. Stay home, do whatever you want as long as you don’t shake the system, because you can’t win, nothing will change.

Easy.

Do you know what a truly difficult, terrible unpleasant truth is? One that’s nearly impossible for folks to face?

That we might be wrong about something.

I’ve seen good people destroy themselves with a community rather than admit they made a mistake. I’ve seen people take up the stupidest, most contradictory positions, just to avoid saying that they were wrong. I’ve seen dyed in the wool skeptics suddenly become gullible rubes if a core belief is challenged. The longer they’ve been wrong, the harder it is to change.

Believing you might be wrong? Evaluating evidence not in your favour? That’s tough as hell.

sarahlizhousespouse
11 years ago

@Pecunium
Thank you!

pecunium
11 years ago

Petey: Ever heard of statistical classification? If not, it’s vital in keeping your spam filter working. Most spam filters use a naive Bayesian classifier. Mine is a lot better.

Has it been widely adopted?

If not, then it’s not made the world better. Nice try at self-aggrandisement.

BTW, are you saying you had no knowledge of statistical classification before you embarked on your effort to solve spam? That’s impressive. Not plausible, but impressive.

It stands to reason that you people would think that peer review is important because the lot of you are obviously too lazy and stupid to evaluate a piece of work on the basis of it’s own merits. Instead, you simply go with the crowd. “Yup, this guy thinks it’s good, it must be good…”

This is the cry of everyone who has ever been told he was full of shit.

Also, it’s horseshit. You are pleading with us to believe you because… Oh right, you are super-Petey who sees better than we do.

Bullshit. I’ve got a lot of experience. I’ve read a lot (really, a lot. More than that, pile more on the stack). I’ve read papers from iconoclasts, which I believe; which put some of my opinions (e.g. on aspects of human evolution, and on the sense of smell) somewhat outside the mainstream.

Why? Because those authors used facts, and evidence I found compelling. Because their arguments held water. Because when compared to verifiable evidence, they didn’t fall apart. You, you peurile little twit, don’t do that. Not in the least. What evidence you have pretended to submit (rape stats) was wrong, and showed either an intent to deceive (on the theory no one here knows anything about stats) or a gross inability to do simple arithmetic.

Either one reflects poorly on you.

pecunium
11 years ago

Petey: We have a vested interest in not believing it. Think of how it absolutely shatters one’s worldview… How it destroy confidence not only governments, but in people in general. It is not a pleasant thing to believe at all.

Ding, Ding, Ding.

You have a vested interest. Dude, I am certain I have a much more cynical view of the world than you do. You probably do have a very unpleasant worldview. It’s deluded, but no less unpleasant for all that.

It’s also simplistic. It has Bad Guys, Dr. Evil types who do things just because it’s Wrong! It’s juvenile. It’s a comic book version of reality.

Out in the wider world, where people are shits, and people are heroes, and most of us manage to be dedent people more than shits, and once in a while rise to moderate heroism (in some small way), and sometimes to greatness… the world is scary.

It’s scarier than your fantasy, because I don’t have some Secret Cabal of the Illuminati I can be afraid of. The are no bad guys to kill and make it all better. There is a world of people, and some are wonderful, and some are venal, and most are just doing the best they can.

And some of them don’t know better how to stop rape. Some suffer from the Bystander Effect, and don’t quite see rape.

And you, you morally deficient little fuckwit, care more about the Sooper Sekrit Squirells who BLEW UP THE TOWERS!!!!ELEVENTY than you do about making the day to day lives of half the human race better, because it gives you a sad to think maybe some woman might think you were stepping out bounds when you tried to rape her; by accident.

That’s why we mock you. You are working to keep the world from getting better, because you are a coward.

Petey
11 years ago

You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

Petey
11 years ago

Also why you’re so obsessed with rape…

cloudiah
11 years ago

You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

MELTDOWN, MELTDOWN, MELTDOWN. (It was caused by kittens.)

Ally S
11 years ago

Oh I am very much wanted here. After all, otherwise all you guys would be doing is sitting around licking each other’s asses and sucking each other’s dicks…

lol whut

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Hey pecunium! You won’t have anything to do with yourself!

*is not touching Petey’s continued ignorance about BDSM*

katz
11 years ago

all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses

Just as you will have nothing to do with potential crowdfunding donors, or software users, or peer reviewers.

After a certain point, “Fine! I didn’t need you anyway!” stops being convincing.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Did you get your mail-order bride, or did you get lost GYOW?

Notice when Peteykins gets mad, his go insults have to do with sex? That says a LOT about him.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

lol, he’s not even bothering to try anymore. Whatsa matter Petey, did we make ya mad and hurt your feelings? I could (actually) even feel empathy for that, because it’s not a nice feeling to be dismissed and insulted. It does hurt, and it’s upsetting. You should prolly step away from the computer and go find something to do that makes you happy/calms you down, because continuing here is just going to make that feeling worse.

Your ideas are mock-worthy, and so people will mock them. The fact that you double-down instead of admitting maybe you don’t know everything puts you in the category of mock-worthy too. So, for your own sake, I’d recommend not being here anymore, and going to do something that makes you happy (like we do with our fish, and horses, and kittens, and plants, and work, and lovers, and kids, and life, and recipes). Because continuing after someone’s told you this is what you’re going to get, kind of kills my empathy for it.

pecunium
11 years ago

Dude: I’m a man. I’m a “manly man” by the classic tropes of the MRM (I did a career in the Army, grew up in a tough part of town, am semi-retired, ride motorcycles, shoot guns, do martial arts, etc.). I’ve had more than my share of lovers (based on the statistical average). From what the PUA crowd would call HB10s, to what I am sure they would say were too ugly to fuck.

I mock you because you are a pissant who is unwilling to look at the world for what it is, and pretends he has The Truth: not on 9/11, that’s pathetic, but ultimately immaterial. You think women are less than men. You think being male gives you some claim on them. You think if they go drinking you have the right to take advantage of that.

You think rape is your right.

You are a danger to women, and make the lives of good men harder.

That’s why I mock you.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

go-to insults. I’ll type pretty one day.

pecunium
11 years ago

Funny, I get insulted all the time (with the odd death wish/death threat). I don’t fall apart.

Maybe it was the apa-hacking and usenetting (or the journalism… getting death threats in the mail, where you work; so that you are in a known location five days a week… that was a little unsettling), but I seem to have better chops than Petey.

pecunium
11 years ago

Have fun with him while I’m out getting coffee/pastries. There are plants to water, and a beloved to tend to (it’s a religious fast day for her, and that’s always hard: we also have no potable water in the pipes right now, and haven’t for the past three days).

Ally S
11 years ago

You mock me because you’re all bitter bitches who finally realize that all the men of quality, all the men of talent and intelligence will no longer have anything to do with your slutty asses, and instead rather find foreign women or go MGTOW. All you have left are the rapists, which is why you’re so into BDSM.

No, we mock you because

– You are laughably stupid
– You’re an asshole
– You’re a rape apologist
– You’re a misogynist
– You’re incredibly immature

Also, stop pretending you know what BDSM is.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Since tedious troll is tedious, I thought you might enjoy these lovely photos of Snowdonia I found on the flickr blog.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

I have a fwb/not-bf who is talented, intelligent, and definitely a man of quality. He seems to really like me. I don’t know what that makes me.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Has this album been posted here before? Because it’s super.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

SittieKitty: I have a husband who on paper would probably be considered “alpha” by these chucklefucks.

What are we?

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