Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.
I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.
But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.
While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”
Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”
But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:
The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.
Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.
The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.
The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.
Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.
It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):
It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.
Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.
This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.
“Do you like this?” “Yes.”
“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”
But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.
And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.
They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.
And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.
Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.
Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:
No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …
Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.
And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.
I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.
That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.
Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.
And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:
While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.
Somehow this confession — boast? — hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.
Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,
Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.
After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness, Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.
Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.
A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.
I’ll put money on two flounces and three bouncebacks.
Petey’s completely ignoring that rape is significantly less rare than lying about it. Details, details.
Oh hey, he finally admitted he’s an MRA fan.
Not that he needed to….*snicker*
“And I hope meltdown commences soon”
You think I’m going to give you that satisfaction? I like debating on forums that are overwhelmingly antagonistic. How else am I going to hone my chops? I spent my first year university hanging out with born agains and just about every meeting I debated evolution with them. Learned a lot.
Not much shame in “losing” (if you could call it that–if you could call being insulted and mocked at every turn a form of debate. Let me ask you something, have I been anything other than civil in this debate?)–you have the advantage of numbers. You really think I’m going to debate every point?
“I actually find the $1000 lighter funnier than the $10000 watch.”
Hello. You were supposed to find it funny.
So much for that final point.
“Petey’s completely ignoring that rape is significantly less rare than lying about it.”
Prove it.
“I don’t think he expected his visits here to be going so badly.”
A lot of the trolls do act like it’s the first time anyone has disagreed with them about anything . . .
Petey: scroll up and actually read the stats the nice people gave you earlier, you fart.
Asks the misogynistic rape apologist.
You’ve already given us the satisfaction of laughing at you, Petey. Now, do we need to have a little conversation about what the word “final” means?
Petey: when you say awful shit, it doesn’t matter how nicely you say it. No points for civility.
As far as the mockery, did you not read the header?
Standard -2 deduction for failing to stick the flounce.
I don’t consider repeated lies to be civil conversation.
“You think I’m going to give you that satisfaction?”
They all do in the end.
And really, you like stats so much? Stop just dismissing the 1 in 4 (5) stat out of hand. It includes non-reported rapes, hence why the counts from police reports are lower (duh). And you can’t file a false report without filing a report now can you?
Unless you were supposed to earn $0, you’re a failure, duder.
It’s performance art! Petey’s theme is “how to be a completely useless asshole”.
*screams into the abyss* WE ALREADY DID!
To recap, about 20% of women will be raped in their lifetime, under 10% of reports are false. Citations are a few pages back and a ladybug just crashed into me! Come back here so I can let you out you silly little bug!
Holy fuck. I step away for 10 hrs and this thread a’slodes.
Thanks Howard B for that quick math.
Those Canadian stats are bullshit. It’s only taking those people who are convicted of sexual assault. That leaves out a) all the unreported, b) all the reported non-arrests, c) all the arrests that never go to trial, d) all the trials that end in acquittals. I really wish I still had my link to the stats, (Oh look, I found them on the Stats Can page, that was easy) because Canada is actually worse per capita than US is, because we have massive sexual assault issues against native american women.
Anyway, Petey is boring. He’s generic asshole troll. I don’t care to discuss with someone who dismisses evidence because they don’t like what it shows. I notice he didn’t answer my question about what it would take to convince him, I assume it’s nothing and that he’s not at all logical/rational. Only people who are fundamentalist are those people who refuse to change their minds when presented with a wealth of evidence. “Common sense” is anything but logical, common, or sensical – there are too many instances where it literally makes no sense to go with what would be called “common sense”.
But he’s a statistical genius, so if he disagrees you must be wrong, Argenti. He’s totally an expert. Even though he ran away when you appeared, funny that.
I give you Petey, super genius:
(Please embed, please.)
If he disagreed, in an intelligent manner, we could at least discuss the methodology. Instead he sticks his fingers in his ears and says he just doesn’t believe it. Some genius, won’t even look to see if the data was collected in a manner pertinent to the question at hand. Nope, he’d rather use data that definitely isn’t!
And I applaud your embedding skills 🙂
It is the new evo psycho style of statistical analysis. You don’t analyze statistics that do not support your world view.
I didn’t think he could stick his flounce either. heh
Petey, you ignorant twit:
Prove it.
Really. Show me the numbers which say there is anything close to a 1:1 correlation of rape and false rape accusations (and not cases that didn’t go to trial, cases where a knowingly false accusation of rape takes place: where a person is named as having committed the crime).
Because you can’t. That you aver such a thing is true means you are a moron, a deluded fool, a liar, or a stooge.
There are, after all, almost no consequences for doing so. The same is not true for rape.
What are the rates of conviction? What happens to someone who knowingly files a false police report? Whatr happens if that report leads to an arrest (I’ll give you a hint, look up tort; not the dessert).
, I find the original posters offensive and I certainly am not a rapist.
I’m a man, I don’t find them offensive. As to your status, re rape, I begin to have my doubts.
And yes, the line between rape and non-rape is blurry and it will always be.
Nope. If person A isn’t in the mood, and Person B proceeds, it’s rape. Person B would like that to not be rape, but that’s tough shit. Person A may choose to not make an accusation, but Person B is a rapist.
. Consider: if I go to a car dealership and a slick salesman sells me a car I neither need nor want, who’s fault is that, mine or the dealers?
Consider what: the two are not the same.
the case of sexual relations, the feminists seem to be pushing towards saying it’s the dealer’s
This is where the analogy fails: One is a commercial transaction, it requires a formal consent. You have to draw up a contract (and a slick salesman fudges things, so the cost to you is higher; and misleads you. Then takes advantage of the legal idea that sales of so large an item requires that the purchaser took the time to take reflect on the contract and gave informed consent, in writing.
So sure, if that happens, you might be able to convince me that it wasn’t rape.
Is that the format you want sex to be in? I didn’t think so.
Also, if the salesman does things to impair your ability to make an informed choice, or presents you with an ultimatum (now that you’ve take the test drive, you are obliged to buy the car) you can engage in legal options which negate the sale.
I find that even more offensive than the posters. The MRAs are right in saying that it robs women of agency.
How so?
Also, I have relatively little experience with women (because it is, after all a minefield–I could get accused of rape) but I know two things: 1. if you constantly ask for permission before proceeding to the next level, you will probably never get laid and 2. a large proportion of women enjoy a certain amount of violence in the bedroom (I know this from personal experience)–what is BDSM than simulated rape?
Well, son, I have a fair bit of experience with women (because it’s not a minefield, and if you don’t rape them they don’t accuse you of it, even if they decided it was a poor decision in the morning).
1: Getting permission all along the way has not stopped me from getting laid.
2: BDSM is so far from “simulated rape” as to make me think you have no idea what you are talking about. But even if we take it as you offer it, there is a key word in the equation; a critical one.
SIMULATED.
That a woman might like simulated rape doesn’t mean she (much less women in general) wants to be really raped.
You fuckmuppet rape-apologist.
“the most reliable figures put it between 2-8%”
I don’t believe these figures. I don’t know what the actual figures are
Ah… so you are making shit up because it makes you feel better.
Why do you need to believe this so badly? Is there something in your past which niggles at your conscience?
If you disagree and say that the original posters are not offensive, then how can you say that the parodies are offensive?
Because the AVfM posters say that the woman is to blame for being raped. They say it’s not rape; that it’s just “what happens” and she is to blame. If she doesn’t want to be raped, then she should stay home and hide from men.
And you don’t think there is a problem with that message.
Again, lets try not to rob women of agency. If they get drunk and do something they regret, it’s nobody’s fault but their own.
I see… so getting drunk and being raped = getting drunk and deciding to dye your hair six shadees of pink with an afro perm.
Saying a women getting raped, “did something she regrets” writes the rapist out of the picture.
Are you sure you aren’t hiding something in your past?
it was white men who granted women the vote
Why did, “white men” need to “grant” women a say in how the world was run? OH right, because they had been denying them that right. (and you might want to read about the actions of the suffragettes: The twitter feed, @CenturyAgoToday has lots of little nuggets about them: it’s not like the white dudes suddenly said, “Oh, I say old chap, we might like to let women have some say in things.” BY JOVE!, you’re right!” and lo! there was much rejoicing).
I am sick and tired of being demonized because I am a white man.
I’m a white man. That’s not your problem. Your problem is a blatant disregard for facts, and simplistic view of the world which doesn’t see women as people.
For that, you should be demonised.
Let’s just say they don’t give a complete picture. Leaving aside the flaws you pointed out, look at the note at the bottom of the table. http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/85f0033m/2008019/tables-tableau/tbl003-eng.htm
Unless our visiting genius wants to argue that rape is not possible between spouses, the statistics are clearly inadequate to fully describe women’s lifetime risk of rape and other sexual assaults.
Pecunium — you get to the part about “or whatever (hit the pentagon)”?
Is 9/11 truther a fallacy? Cuz I so very much want to give him a point for that (he’s at what? 17? Obsidian managed just over 20. Come on Petey, you can do it if you have the skills and passion!)