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Don’t Be That Rape Apologist: Arthur Koestler, Judgy Bitch, and why MRAs hate rape awareness campaigns

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?
Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.

I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.

But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.

While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”

Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”

But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:

The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.

Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.

The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.

The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.

Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.

It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):

posters1edmonton-police-re-launch-poster-campaign-to-deter-sexual-assault_posters

It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.

Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.

This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.

“Do you like this?” “Yes.”

“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”

But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.

And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.

They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.

And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.

Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.

Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:

No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …

Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.

And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.

I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.

That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.

Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.

And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:

While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

Somehow this confession — boast? —  hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.

Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,

Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness,  Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.

Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.

A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Meltdown commencing! It’s so unfair of people to mock Petey on this mockery site.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“You kind of remind me of the deer flies buzzing around me during my evening’s walk.”

Dear, this is a regular hang-out for some of us. Your the fly who keeps buzzing around us.

Shroedinger’s Rapist is hateful garbage? The lack of empathy is strong with this one.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Petey: mockery is what we do. Can you not read a header, or did that not autoimport?

As for the Shroedinger’s Rapist, there have been plenty of refutations of that. It is hateful garbage. Shit like that makes me sick.

It usually does when it hits close to home, sweetie.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I sure as fuck haven’t given up. There are plenty of ways to make a buck…

Don’t let Tom Martin hear you say that.

cloudiah
11 years ago

“Why are they mocking me, here on this website dedicated to mockery? I DON’T UNDERSTAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

Ally S
11 years ago

You have it wrong. What the MRAs are pointing out is that truly, most men do not engage in the behaviour described in the “rape awareness” posters. I can guarantee, however, that the ones who do, will pay absolutely no attention to them whatsoever. All the posters accomplish is to shame normal men who happen not to be psychopathic monsters.

Yes, they’re right. Too bad they have no fucking idea what they’re criticizing.

It has been repeated, over and over again, that these ads are intended to shame rapists, not men. Unfortunately, I don’t have hope that you will ever understand this considering how fucking obtuse you are.

You kind of remind me of the deer flies buzzing around me during my evening’s walk…

More bizarre MRA similes. Yay!

katz
11 years ago

I sure as fuck haven’t given up. There are plenty of ways to make a buck…

Ah, but we’re not talking about future success. You didn’t bother accounting for women who are trying to become top scientists and haven’t made it but haven’t yet given up. You said that, if people wanted it enough, they already would be successful. So, same token, if you’d really wanted it, your crowdfunding campaign would already have succeeded.

Ally S
11 years ago

Correction: they’re right that all men are not rapists, not that the posters are hateful.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“So, same token, if you’d really wanted it, your crowdfunding campaign would already have succeeded.”

Yeah, remember those bootstraps, son.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Little baby Petey needs some nice lady to tie his bootstraps for him.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I hope Lil’ Petey comes back to finish his meltdown.

Petey
11 years ago

“Actually, as dumb as the tribute to Petey’s ego in watch form is”

You don’t get the watch because it has my name on it. You get the watch because it look cool:

http://notationalshorthand.blogspot.ca/2012/04/vernier-clock.html

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“REally, I’m not sure it’s worth it”

So, I don’t need that statistics course, but you don’t feel like dealing with that?

Guys, he said I need a statistics course and you don’t find this as laughable as I do? I’m hurt. (And kidding)

As for anonymous, I know the legal names of two of the people arguing with you, one knows mine (not that she can spell it 😛 Best. Mistake. Ever.), and I’m one step removed from another’s email. In other words, we’re not so anonymous with people who aren’t assholes.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

And I hope meltdown commences soon, I have to get up at 6! (It’s nearly ten here)

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

If, knowing in advance that in the case of being raped while unconscious it will be hard to prove anything in a court of law, why put yourself in such a dangerous situation in the first place? Don’t go home with a strange man while intoxicated if you don’t 100% intend to have sex with him. Don’t get drunk to the point of loss of control with people you don’t trust.

So women should know that there is a high chance that if they get very drunk, a man is going to rape them. But they should not be scared of this gender that is apparently rife with people just waiting for them to get drunk so that they can rape them? Also, does this mean that women who are raped by people they trust are exempt from your judgement? Or does it mean that you should only trust people who would never hurt you, and if they hurt you then you never should have trusted them and fuck you?

As the old saw goes: fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.

So does this mean that any woman who gets raped once while drunk is okay, but if she gets raped twice it’s all her fault? Or does it mean that women should not trust men enough to drink around them because other women have been raped while drunk by other men?

And how can you then post this

I already told you. Because I’m tired of being shamed for being a man and because I’m tired of the double standard that allows women to accuse men of being rapists while a man can’t accuse women of being liars. Both are equally offensive (actually I think the first is more so) yet only one is socially acceptable. I am also tired of the lies (like the 1 in 4 statistic) that continually get pushed on unsuspecting men all the time.

without wanting to kill yourself for being so stupid and/or dishonest?

The 1 in 4 statistic is clearly bullshit. How many other lies are the feminists feeding us? Certainly false rape reports is probably one of them. For every reported rape, very few of those actually go to trial and even fewer actually result in convictions. It could be that there are a whole slew of rapists gone free but it’s just as likely that there were a whole slew of false reports. Pick your poison. As far as I know, these non-prosecuted rapes usually don’t make it into the stats for false reports.

And why are your random feelings supposed to hold any weight in an argument with other people? If that’s how you want to feel, go right ahead and feel that way. Just please don’t be stupid enough to bring it as anything but an unasked for (and so underwhelmingly unsurprising) FYI about your personal biases.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Actually nobody gets the watch, because nobody wants to give you any money.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

There’s lots of cool watches out there that don’t involve having to deal with an asshole to get. You lose again, Peteykins.

Petey
11 years ago

“It usually does when it hits close to home, sweetie.”

Indeed. Just like the “don’t be that girl” campaign? Final point: if a poster urging men not to rape (rare event) is not offensive, then neither is a poster urging women not to lie about being raped (also a rare event). If you cannot see that you are stupid. There is no difference. Yet the media is making out that one is bad and the other is not. It is a double standard plain and simple. If you cannot understand this very simple point there is no point talking to you. And rest assured, the Men’s Rights Activists will not rest until all ugly double standards such as this one are erradicated for good.

katz
11 years ago

I actually find the $1000 lighter funnier than the $10000 watch.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

You keep not getting it, Petey. For an allegedly smart dude, you’re really fucking dumb.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Katz: There’s a LIGHTER?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Anyone want to bet on how final that final point will turn out to be?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I don’t think that final point is final at all. Petey wouldn’t know whether to scratch his expensive watch or wind his ass if he let us get the last word.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

“Just in mockery and ridicule and self congratulation and supporting each other in your unfounded and unjust assumptions. So brave and clever when banded together and anonymous.”

Hmm. I don’t think he expected his visits here to be going so badly. What was suppose to happen was he’d tell us what’s what about rape/rapists/false rape accusations and silly girls who try to program. Then we’d thank him for telling us what it’s really like to be a woman and how spoiled we are.

Now we’re bullies because he doesn’t understand how sexist he sounds, and why most people would mock his sense of entitlement.
Also, I get the impression that he’s holding a grudge about some girl back in the 5th grade who won first place in the science fair — when clearly, the honor should have been given to him, by god!

Ally S
11 years ago

Final point: if a poster urging men not to rape (rare event) is not offensive, then neither is a poster urging women not to lie about being raped (also a rare event).

The latter targets all women by repeating misogynistic tropes that target all women. The former merely further stigmatizes rape. No comparison here, I’m afraid.

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