Categories
a voice for men actual activism antifeminism domestic violence excusing abuse FemRAs judgybitch ladies against women life before feminism men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA paul elam PUA rape rape culture reactionary bullshit rhymes with roosh

Don’t Be That Rape Apologist: Arthur Koestler, Judgy Bitch, and why MRAs hate rape awareness campaigns

Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?
Arthur Koestler: Brilliant writer, serial rapist?

Today I’m going to talk about Janet Bloomfield — AKA JudgyBitch — and her bizarre attack on the original Don’t Be That Guy anti-rape posters in Edmonton. But I’m going to take a bit of a detour first, so bear with me.

I recently picked up a copy of Arthur Koestler’s The Case of the Midwife Toad, a nonfiction account of a scientific feud that provided me with some diverting travel reading and put me in the mood to read more of Koestler’s nonfiction.

But doing some rudimentary Googling I made a rather horrifying discovery about Koestler, whom I’d admired since reading his bracing account of breaking with Communism in the classic The God That Failed anthology: according to a recent biographer, Koestler was a serial rapist and abuser of women.

While some doubt the evidence of rape, even his supporters have had to acknowledge, as one reviewer has written, that Koestler’s “treatment of the many women in his life [was] – even without the ‘rape’ – deeply unpleasant. He was manipulative, demanding, sexually voracious and utterly faithless.”

Koestler himself doesn’t exactly make a persuasive witness for his own defense, having once written to his second wife that “without an element of initial rape there is no delight.”

But in some ways as eye-opening as these revelations has been the response of some of Koestler’s defenders. Case in point: Michael Scammell, the author of a nearly 700-page biography of Koestler. After detailing many instances of Koestler’s mistreatment of women, he writes of the accusations of violent rape:

The exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction wasn’t exactly uncommon at that time … The line between consensual and forced sex was often blurred.

Hey, it was the 1950s. EVERYBODY raped women back then.

The sad fact is that, while this is no defense of Koestler’s alleged behavior, there is an element of truth to Scammell’s claims. The line between consensual sex and rape was often blurred back then. Women were often cajoled, pressured, manipulated, and forced into sex by more physically powerful men. And neither party necessarily recognized what had happened as rape.

The fact that the line between consensual sex and rape is a lot clearer today — and that the rate of rape has declined markedly in the past several decades — is largely due to feminism. Feminism challenged older attitudes and definitions of rape and worked at changing these attitudes through education and awareness campaigns.

Feminist activists worked on teaching — and reteaching — both men and women what is and what isn’t acceptable sexual behavior.

It’s an ongoing process, which continues in awareness campaigns like this one, the Don’t Be That Guy campaign launched in Edmonton (and elsewhere):

posters1edmonton-police-re-launch-poster-campaign-to-deter-sexual-assault_posters

It’s pretty clear that there’s a lot more work to be done, as the reactions to this campaign have pretty clearly shown.

Anyone who has read much in the so-called manosphere — on MRA and PUA sites alike — will have noticed a lot of alarmist nonsense about the alleged difficulties men have in determining if a sex act with a woman is consensual or not, as if it is simply impossible, if there is any confusion, for men to open their mouths and ask. MRAs and PUAs act as if obtaining consent “the way feminists want it” would consist of some complicated legalistic procedure that would ruin sex forever.

This is patent nonsense. Clarifying issues of consent about (and during) sex — making anything that’s blurry clear — can be done in less time than it takes to read this sentence.

“Do you like this?” “Yes.”

“Do you want me to [incredibly dirty thing]?” “Yes.”

But, as I said, the MRAs and PUAs complaining about the alleged difficulties of consent don’t really seem to be interested in making things clear. They would, it seems, rather have things as blurry as possible.

And that’s because a lot of them want to return to a world in which, to paraphrase that quote from Scammell above, the exercise of male strength to gain sexual satisfaction isn’t exactly uncommon, and in which the line between consensual and forced sex is often blurred.

They would prefer to return to a world in which it’s considered fair game to “take advantage” of seriously drunk women. One in which all accusations of date rape could be dismissed as the result of a fickle woman changing her mind later.

And that, I think, is why MRAs have such a problem with date rape awareness campaigns like Edmonton’s Don’t Be That Guy campaign — which they try to both ridicule as unnecessary and denounce as an exercise in Nazi-style anti-male propaganda. Sometimes both at the same time.

Consider, for example, Janet Bloomfield/JudgyBitch’s recent A Voice for Men post on the Edmonton poster controversies. Bloomfield — who apparently likes to think of herself as one of those no-nonsense women who can get by just fine without any help from feminists, thank you very much — begins by trying to ridicule the original Don’t Be That Guy posters as simple-minded, obvious and utterly unnecessary.

Referring to several specific posters from the original campaign, she writes:

No, obviously, you should not be having sex with a woman so drunk she is passed out face down on the couch with her ass in the air. …

Obviously, helping a drunk woman home does not entitle you to sex.

And in what is going to come as SHOCKING news to everyone, if someone doesn’t want to have sex with you, you should not have sex with them.

I’ll give you a while to process that information, because I’m sure that until this clever campaign came along, you were all busy screwing comatose girls at parties and gleefully hailing cabs so you could help ladies home and then rape them.

That would be very witty and pointed but for the fact that, guess what, men do attempt to “have sex” with women who are passed out or asleep, and that there are plenty of men who seem to think that this counts as a sort of “no harm, no foul, no rape” situation.

Take a look at the discussion whenever this topic comes up on Reddit, for example. Or consider all those supporters of Julian Assange who pretend that the issue is women changing their mind after sex when in fact one of the things he’s been accused of is penetrating a woman sans condom while she was sleeping.

And as for “taking advantage” of seriously drunk women, well, there are plenty of men who think this is perfectly fine — and some who make this the centerpiece of their “seduction” technique. Indeed, one prominent PUA — Roosh V — has confessed to doing just that with one woman who was clearly too drunk to consent:

While walking to my place, I realized how drunk she was. In America, having sex with her would have been rape, since she legally couldn’t give her consent. It didn’t help matters that I was relatively sober, but I can’t say I cared or even hesitated. I won’t rationalize my actions, but having sex is what I do.

Somehow this confession — boast? —  hasn’t, to my knowledge, earned him any condemnations from manosphere or MRA bloggers, or even, it seems, cost him any fans.

Meanwhile, on the very site Bloomfield is publishing her post, Paul Elam blames drunk women for being sexually assaulted, writing (as I pointed out yesterday) that women who drink with men are, “freaking begging” to be raped,

Damn near demanding it. … walk[ing] though life with the equivalent of a I’M A STUPID, CONNIVING BITCH – PLEASE RAPE ME neon sign glowing above their empty little narcissistic heads.

After dismissing the Don’t Be That Guy campaign as so much silliness,  Bloomfield makes a sudden 180 degree turn and declares it the virtual equivalent of Nazi propaganda against Jews.

Which would be offensive if it weren’t so manifestly absurd. The Don’t Be That Guy campaign isn’t directed at men, per se. It’s directed at men WHO THINK IT’S OK TO RAPE WOMEN and/or MEN WHO MAKE EXCUSES FOR RAPISTS.

A good number of these men — and some women with similar beliefs — seem to spend much of their time reading and/or writing for manosphere sites like Roosh V’s blog and A Voice for Men.

736 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
katz
11 years ago

I love that the programming argument goes “women won’t be discriminated against if they manage to do everything without ever interacting with anyone who knows they’re a woman, therefore discrimination isn’t a problem.”

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Unfortunately being full of bullshit is really only a fallacy if it’s part of an actual logic argument. So I guess he’s at 13 points for a faulty premise?

Ally S
11 years ago

” how about you actually read about what the Schroedinger’s Rapist idea actually means?”

The only other interpretation is equally easy to counter. See that group of black teenagers on the street corner over there? They’re potential thugs and muggers…

Wrong. Try again, buddy.

It’s simply a notion that rapists don’t announce to the world that they are rapists and so being cautious is neither bigoted nor unjustified. It’s based on the idea that people’s boundaries should always be respected.

Ally S
11 years ago

@hellkell

Petey, learn to quote. For such an awesome coder, a bit of HTML shouldn’t be a stretch. Your content is already a shitshow, no need to make it worse with your fucked-up formatting.

You win the day.

Petey
11 years ago


I love that the programming argument goes “women won’t be discriminated against if they manage to do everything without ever interacting with anyone who knows they’re a woman, therefore discrimination isn’t a problem.”

Am I seriously supposed to debate you people when you come up with stuff like this? This is reframing my argument in a completely dishonest manner. The point is: there is nothing stopping them (since I have to make it once again). There are a significant number of free software developers who work solo (I point to myself amongst them) and lets be honest, coding is fundamentally a solitary activity. If a woman really wanted to code free software, even if all collaborations were somehow barred to them (something I don’t believe–I suspect most male developers if approached by a woman would be quite open to working with them) they could still go it alone. Even if they had to have a collaborator, they could always find another woman coder. If you have sufficient passion for a subject, no amount of doors closing can dissuade you. As the numbers show, women don’t do these things ergo, the passion simply isn’t there. And if there is one thing that unites free software develpers, it is passion. Otherwise, they wouldn’t pursue an activity which offers no tangible rewards.

Just curious: who in this thread is also a free software developer?

Petey
11 years ago

“It’s simply a notion that rapists don’t announce to the world that they are rapists and so being cautious is neither bigoted nor unjustified.”

Hmmmm… Neither do thugs or muggers last I checked. Maybe I should just walk up to the suspicious-looking black teenagers and ask them, “Are you a thug or a mugger?”

katz
11 years ago

Me.

katz
11 years ago

Just curious: who in this thread is also a free software developer?

Me.

(Damn blockquotes.)

katz
11 years ago

Dammit, I wanted to link to some of my games, but I’m also a professional DBA and I’ve made a habit of doing all my programming under my real name. Not gonna blow it for this dweeb.

Not that any of that matters, because how many women are or aren’t free software developers proves exactly nothing.

Ally S
11 years ago

“Hmmmm… Neither do thugs or muggers last I checked. Maybe I should just walk up to the suspicious-looking black teenagers and ask them, ‘Are you a thug or a mugger?'”

It’s about boundaries, you idiot. You clearly didn’t read what I said. If you actually care about understanding the Shroedinger’s Rapist analogy, look it up on Yes Means Yes. I don’t think you care, though, so my words will be lost on you.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

If you have sufficient passion for a subject, no amount of doors closing can dissuade you.

This may be the most adorably naive thing I’ve read today. Petey, how can you type when you’re encased in such a thick layer of privilege?

Ally: thanks!

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

“Hmmmm… Neither do thugs or muggers last I checked. Maybe I should just walk up to the suspicious-looking black teenagers and ask them, ‘Are you a thug or a mugger?’”

Please do.

Are you just really that dumb or not getting it on purpose?

cloudiah
11 years ago

I work in a profession that is actively looking to diversity (though not on a gendered basis, particularly, though men are certainly welcome). I don’t sit around carping that “POC don’t have the passion for librarianship” or “POC don’t have the ability to be librarians.” Instead, I make a point of promoting it as a career to POC I work with, including students, I mentor and otherwise support new librarians who might otherwise not have a lot of support, I seek out and write about the stories of librarians of color so that their contributions are recognized. It’s not that I don’t also support white librarians, I’ve just chosen a different focus.

I’m thinking that approach might work better at diversifying professions than Petey’s “Eh, do nothing, if they’re passionate/smart enough they’ll end up here” approach. Not that it’s perfect or anything.

Petey
11 years ago

“You say things, and those things are remarkably bothersome and sexist…”

Or perhaps I am just a realist. The sad truth is, there are differences between men and women. I was just researching this issue in regards to pro tennis. Unfortunately, not only are the differences real, they are yawning:
http://www.topendsports.com/sport/tennis/men-v-women.htm
http://www.mid-day.com/opinion/2010/jul/060710-Serena-Williams-Wimbledon-Tennis.htm

This squares with my own experience. As an undergraduate, I competed in cross-country skiing and had the dubious distinction of being one of the slowest athletes on the male circuit. On the other hand, I was often a match for the fastest female athletes.

When it comes to intellectual fields, it is harder to see that there are differences because there are so many factors that influence success, because there is now an element of subjectivity and because the differences are no longer in the averages but only appear in the higher echelons.

And unfortunately, it is very easy to be misunderstood. I might say something like, the best scientists will, with few exceptions, almost always be men and have it countered with, “but men aren’t smarter than women.” That’s not what I’m saying and if you think that, then you don’t understand statistics and probability. Here is a small primer:
http://www.lagriffedulion.f2s.com/math.htm
Granted, he is using old data, but it’s remarkable how good the predictions he’s getting are. And honestly, if you don’t understand this article, there is probably no point in having this debate.

That being said, I am certain there will continue to be women, like Emmy Noether, who defy the odds and still manage to come out on top. But I don’t believe that feminism does anything to help these people. If anything it hinders them by suggesting that they can’t make it on their own because “the patriarchy is pushing them down.” Nobody who’s done anything of value hasn’t had to deal with significant obstacles. Those obstacles will always be there, I don’t care how much you push down the “patriarchy”

Until we acknowledge these differences, very little is possible and the result is that we end up devaluing the achievements of both men and women.

Petey
11 years ago

So I shouldn’t be cautious around potential thugs and muggers? Please explain to me the difference again, because no, I don’t get it.

katz
11 years ago

Y’all think this is Pell yet again? He already claimed to be a software guru, but there’s a certain familiarity to the smugness of the empty assertions.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“If you have sufficient passion for a subject, no amount of doors closing can dissuade you.”

BOOTSTRAPS!!

Dude, I’m fucking nuts, like, certifiably; I’m also an artist and web designer, neither of which do I persue not for lack of passion, but for retaining the shreds of my sanity. Not that that stops me from picking up a project here and there.

Which utterly tangentially reminds me! Pecunium, you ever decide if you wanted me to tweak your blog? Idk how much I can do on WP.com, but I’ll give it a look if you want.

Oh and the dancing goalposts put you at 18 points btw, you’ve hit the 5 pt max per category.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Fuck off, Petey. Just say you don’t like feminism.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Katz: writing is too good to be Pell. Unless Pell is going for the long con, which I think he is constitutionally unable to do.

katz
11 years ago

The bootstraps mentality is also rather un-Pellish.

Petey
11 years ago

“Dammit, I wanted to link to some of my games, but I’m also a professional DBA and I’ve made a habit of doing all my programming under my real name. Not gonna blow it for this dweeb.”

I’ve got the courage to argue under my real name. What’s holding you back? Only cowards hide behind pseudonyms…

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I think smug is just how Petey rolls.

Petey, are your arms tired from the goalpost moving?

cloudiah
11 years ago

I’ve got the courage to argue under my real name. What’s holding you back? Only cowards hide behind pseudonyms…

Fuck off, Petey, given that so many of your fellow anti-feminists are given to death threats and doxxing.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

I’ve got the courage to argue under my real name. What’s holding you back? Only cowards hide behind pseudonyms…

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Right because an asshole like Petey would be against doxxing.

Petey, are you aware of the abuse women get on the intenet? I know: bootstraps, if you can’t take it fuck off, or whatever just so story you’re about to regurgitate.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“And honestly, if you don’t understand this article, there is probably no point in having this debate.”

FTFY

1 13 14 15 16 17 30