So the regulars in the Men’s Rights subreddit are discussing the Saatchi/Lawson divorce, as we were yesterday, and, well, it’s going better than expected, in that quite a few of them are actually willing to accept that Saatchi actually abused Lawson and that his demand that she defend him against the accusations of abuse thus don’t really make much sense. I guess that’s what happens when the abuse is literally caught on camera and printed on the front page of every British tabloid.
But not everyone there has responded so, well, rationally. Take this fellow:
Dude, I’m pretty sure the rich and/or weird are subject to the same laws (and moral judgements) as the rest of us. Billionaire art collectors don’t get a free pass to choke their wives in public. Nor is that equivalent to a hypothetical Playboy centerfold cheating on you.
Also, as a point of fact, Saatchi isn’t a billionaire. According to Celebrity Net Worth, he’s worth something on the order of $100 million; the site estimates Lawson to be worth $15 million.
More highlights from that thread:
“You know a domestic dispute is not the end of the world. Maybe there are people out there who think couples should stand up for each other despite having problems. He didn’t beat her to a pulp, as far as we know there’s no proof he did anything which actually hurt her. The photo looks harsh but he’s not choking her to death, it’s just his hand is on her neck. I know it’s sacrilege to even hint at this but she might even think he was justified in threatening her because she did/said something which we know nothing about.”
Apparently she should be grateful that he didn’t abuse her WORSE, and should stand up for him for not killing her! And who knows, maybe she was totally asking for it? I have no basis for that assumption, but I’m totally gonna make it anyway!
“We don’t know what their relationship is. Some relationships include violence, like S/M relationships…Or do you think S/M relationships should be illegal?”
Even going on this wild and baseless assumption, it ignores the fact that partner abuse is a major problem in the S/M community as well.
I have to say… props to the guys saying, “This is abuse, and I’m not going to stand up for Saatchi. Fuck him.” Despite the apologists flaming around r/MensRights, I feel there is hope for humanity.
So according to them, any woman marrying a famous man shouldn’t be surprised to be killed by him – assholes!
I love how the people who are the absolute best at black-and-white thinking are accusing the rest of us for engaging in black-and-white thinking. These manospherians have to be the most textbook case of psychological projection that can ever be documented. Every single thing they say against those with whom they disagree is nothing but a projection, pretty much 99% of the time.
There is so much wrong here. There’s no justification for threatening/abusing someone.
So… going by that guy’s logic, it’s not okay for Nigella Lawson to be surprised that her soon-to-be ex-husband choked her, but it IS okay to be disappointed?
Fine distinction there, bro.
So according to the charming Sash_, Oscar Pistorius was just exhibiting typical extreme behaviour – only to be expected from a rich man.
I’m glad that at least some of the misters agree that choking your partner is wrong.
That this is the best thing I can say about the folks on r/mr troubles me.
Wait, but if you marry Oscar Pistorius you should pretty much expect to get shot?
Oh, misters…
These guys.
These fucking guys.
Take note! If you hit your wife, it’s ok because you also gave her flowers! /sarcasm
And sadly, this is how lots of abused people end up thinking – “oh, my relationship isn’t THAT bad, it’s not like he actually HITS me, so I should totally stay and fight through the problems” when a guy is merely emotionally abusive, or if the guy does hit her, “it’s not THAT bad, he hasn’t hit me SERIOUSLY, what he did can’t really count as REAL hits”, or if the guy does hit her very badly “it’s not THAT bad, because it’s not that often and he was super upset when he did that and really lost control of himself and he was so sorry the next day…”
Only abused people who think like this, do it because being abused messes with your head. There’s really no excuse for applying that “logic” when you dispassionately think about relationships in general.
Don’t forget, he also magnanimously didn’t choke her half to death. Had he choked her half to death, flowers would not be enough. He’d need to make it up to her with something like a new washing machine for her to use to do his laundry. Something like that.
Worse, people like this putting it out there *helps plant that idea*.
And that’s a feature, not a bug.
Guh. Okay, so just after reading this, my wife forwarded me THIS lovely piece of shit. Trigger warnings for just about every form of misogynist behavior you care to name, up to and including threats:
http://stickiebun13.tumblr.com/post/54962207802/warning-to-any-female-cosplayer-in-the-chicago-and
Every time I read something like this, I am reminded to be thankful for the parents I had. When I try and imagine Dad putting his hands on Mom in such a manner, it just doesn’t work.
Exactly, Howard.
I like having my partner grab my throat, it’s one of my kinks. There’s nothing wrong with that when it’s done consensually and everyone is aware of the risks. If someone grabs another person’s throat during an argument it’s not consensual even if they otherwise have a BDSM relationship (which so far as I know is not the case in this situation).
How in the name of Middle Eastern liberal Jesus is “eh, she had it coming” not a politically approved mantra? Have you seen politics lately?
@freemage, Jesusfuck! That poor kid Just going about zher day all “doo be do…oh hai FB message.” and then BLAMMO! Misogynistic, homophobic, actual-nazi, sadpenis, bigot all up in her face. For no reason at all! nazidude seriously needs to get off the internet and sit himself down for a long overdue chat.
@freemage, mayimoktoo: That guy wouldn’t happen to be this guy, would it?
Because if he wasn’t, that would mean there are TWO Nazi cosplayers out there.
Sadpenis Nazis.
I hate sadpenis Nazis.
Oh, the Nazi cosplayers. I don’t go to cons, so I usually avoid this debate by default, but I did once get into a long argument with one on Jezebel in which she insisted that it was OK because she was cosplaying a music video from a Japanese band and they just don’t think Nazi stuff is a big deal in Japan. There are many, many problems with that argument, but the biggest one, which I pointed out, is that she was actually wearing the costume in America and Canada.
@Falconer: Or worse, two different self-centered, intellectually-void, bloviating sadpenis* nazi cosplayers out there.
*sadpenis + nazi – together now and forever.
So…with this logic as long as you give the person you smack around something it is okay to hit them.
I wonder what the judge would say to that. I just punched him in the face your honor. *court room gasps* I GAVE HIM AN IPAD AFTER! *court room sighs in relief*