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Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]

Women preparing to cheat.
Women preparing to cheat.

Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]

If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.

Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless.  Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).

In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …

The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.

The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Nope, he just apologized to the friend for not taking him home with us, since he was mostly straight.

Polliwog
11 years ago

Fried plantains are one of the best things ever. My partner (who grew up in the Caribbean) introduced me to Jamaican-style fried plantains a while back, and I pretty much had a foodgasm. They taste so unhealthily full of grease and sugar that I feel like I might have a heart attack with every bite, and it’s wonderful.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Pellyboy has a bit of an obsession with class, doesn’t he, for a good Amurrrican boy? Too funny.

I guess he’s having to hurry the meltdown along, it can’t be too long before Mommy comes up and tells him it’s time for lights out.

melody
11 years ago

Ibara you are starting to hurt my feelings.

cloudiah
11 years ago

So… Did you guys realize that the female flight attendants on that Asiana flight that crash landed at SFO were totally badass?

[They] remained behind to help people who were trapped, slashing seat belts with knives supplied by police officers on the ground. The plane was going up in flames; they risked their lives to save others.

Also
http://twitter.com/FlyGalz/status/354469018603773952

Polliwog
11 years ago

Polliwog – Death or Vimes would be my favourite characters, they’re about even.

Vimes is also great. I’m not sure there’s a Discworld character I don’t enjoy.

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

LOL now he’s pretending he knows anything about Discworld. Precious, isn’t it? Poor little Pell, doomed to be laughed at all his life.

You already beat me there you stupid idiot no-nothing loser. Go right the fat oldmobile you omega dummy

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“Nope, he just apologized to the friend for not taking him home with us, since he was mostly straight.”

As sweet as that is, I think that means he doesn’t count. Sorry.

Ally S
11 years ago

” it can’t be too long before Mommy comes up and tells him it’s time for lights out.”

Pell’s mom: Ok sweetie, you can continue your war against misandry on the internet tomorrow.

Pell: BUT MOOOOOM I’M TRYING TO FIGHT FRUITLOOPS FUTRELLE AND HIS MANGINA ARMY! NO FAIR!

(I hope no kid ever talks like that.)

cloudiah
11 years ago

Go right the fat oldmobile you omega dummy

Weirdest GPS directions ever.

katz
11 years ago

“Bit your behinds” is a nice touch. Can’t have swearing in our classism!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

They’re called Oldsmobiles you dumb ass.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Cassandra – now I’m thinking of the Upper-Class Twit of the Year sketch.

Polliwog
11 years ago

Go right the fat oldmobile you omega dummy

I see we’ve reached the “bizarre word salad” phase of the Peltdown.

Ally S
11 years ago

“You already beat me there you stupid idiot no-nothing loser. Go right the fat oldmobile you omega dummy”

Omega dummy? Seriously? At least try to come up with interesting insults.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

“No-nothing” sounds like a cry of existential despair. Odd – those are usually far more interesting than this one.

Snowball Aquinas
Snowball Aquinas
11 years ago

These guys are pathetic. I’m a man and I have a female friend who is in a long-term relationship. I’ve been drinking with her many times and she has never cheated. But I guess In Mala Fide has never met her in his life ever, so she doesn’t exist. On the other hand I’ve known lots of men who have cheated while drinking.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

He the last member of the Know Nothing party? Here to reclaim those slaves his family had back on the mayflower?

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

“Bit your behinds” is a nice touch. Can’t have swearing in our classism!

Classism is a good thing because everyone who is poor deserves it. If your poor it’s because you’re a lazy do nothing loser making excuses. The lower clases should be excluded from government benefits for doing nothing, and the rich should get all social security.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Sometimes when you are this desperate for attention you come off looking a little silly.

http://youtu.be/tGJlDeQbB7s

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“The lower clases should be excluded from government benefits for doing nothing, and the rich should get all social security.”

So pretty much the status quo then? Cut food stamps to fund subsidies for private jets? Or should we just make them free?

No wait, then those lazy poor losers could afford them…

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Viscaria — but it’s cute when it’s a puppy doing it!

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

It’s alctually been proven that benefits to the rich will result in a good economy, because the poor will be forced to pick up their lazy butts or be pushed our of society.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Hey, nothing wrong with an Old(s)mobile, they’re pretty cool looking cars.

http://www.misterw.com/Oldsmobile/58Olds01.jpg

Pelly’s getting really desperate, isn’t he? Rant, rant, rave. So young, so bitter,so stupid, tsk tsk. His teachers must be relieved every time school holidays come around.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Aww, he believes in drickle drop theory, that’s specious.

To those of you with functional brains, the opposite is true — giving poor people money, enough to actually make a difference, generally results in *gasp* them making good decisions which increase their standard of living. Because HOLY SHIT BATMAN, even poor people know what’s best for them. (I can possibly find that study later, but can’t search and keep up with Peltdown)

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