Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
franticcaps — you new around these parts? Get a Welcome Package yet?
And I stand corrected, lack of quotes is a PellTell.
Ninja’ed!
“I object! If we’re going to be a coven I already called dibs on Granny Weatherwax.”
*tips coffee* We all know who I am!
And if y’all want the dark lord emailed, I’ll do it since I’m curious if the survey results are going up today or tomorrow if I broke something or what.
We have enough younger commenters to find a Tiffany too. Who wants to be Nanny?
Argenti, I just finished re-reading Monstrous Regiment and thought of you with all Maladict’s scenes – have you read it yet?
Pell’s having Keyboard Stutters, he keeps typing letters twice all over the place. Not quite up to Mr Al’s Keyboard Smash, though more amusing long-term.
Did someone miss nap time and the alphabet chart is getting all blurry? Try sticking to identifying colors, it’s easier. Let me get you started:
Bananas are yellow.
Kitteh — I have not (I know, I know!)
I tend to prefer bananas that are still slightly green. Which is misandry because I’m being picky about which vaguely phallic objects I will agree to insert into one of my orifices.
I emailed David’s big red head. I’m sure he will be along shortly, and I feel confident in saying that because I am David.
::thinks about being Nanny::
Hmm, pros: Totaly uninhibited. Canny. Casanunda. Greebo.
Cons: Pusey and assorted grandchildren, more or less sticky.
Nope, I’ll pass.
*Pewsey.
Discworld is stupid crap for female lossers like the minions of Fruitloops Futrelle. i’ve never met a Discworld fan who wasn’t a closet fag
Who doesn’t want to be Nanny?
Death is probably my favorite character, but Nanny is a close second.
Heh, Mum likes bananas that are greenish, too. I don’t, they make my teeth want to curl up and hide. I like my bananas ripe and just starting to get soft.
MISANDRY!
Is a losser a type of large dog? Like a molosser for someone whose “M” key is stuck?
I also love plantain, which tend to be brown, and, well…
You lower-class idiots wouldnt know success if it bit your behinds.
I guess that explains why, as previously established, I must turn into an unfaithful lesbian-orgy-haver in the presence of booze. It’s all the award-winning satirical novels. Makes perfect sense!
“i’ve never met a Discworld fan who wasn’t a closet fag”
Note to self: cannot read Discworld without somehow going back in the closet…seeing how that’d be rather difficult, and no way in hell am I doing it, sorry guys, guess I can’t read it without breaking troll boy’s paradigm.
Well, the ex-boyfriend who introduced me to Discworld did once make out with a (male) friend of his when he was drunk, but I talked him into it. Does that count?
Pell — tell that to the folks here with PhD’s and the members of the upper class.
(Did I mention that the correlation between those was surprisingly low?)
I’m craving Fruitloops now. Who’s with me?
LOL now he’s pretending he knows anything about Discworld. Precious, isn’t it? Poor little Pell, doomed to be laughed at all his life.
Polliwog – Death or Vimes would be my favourite characters, they’re about even.
Idk, did he lie about it to maintain his appearance of being straight?
See, a Brit would expect the correlation there to be approaching zero, because our upper classes often aren’t the most academically diligent people.
Aw man I was totally going to play with the new troll until they admitted that they don’t actually agree with Matt Forney but it’s just boring old Pell. Heard it all already, kid.