Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
Yay Kitteh! I just added some shading on the face for consistency, and now it’s miiiine, precious. ^_^
Yayyyy! I didn’t know how to get the shading right, I’m so pleased you like it!
Thanks Buttercup 🙂 I have a pretty good support system, so that’s good, and I can’t think that I would ever bring a child into the world without planning and knowing I could grow and support and love it.
@Falconer- I saw Gaiman last weekend- he was awesome and read a bunch of things aloud, which is my favorite thing in the whole world ever. 😀
Hope that it was fun for you too!
@dualityheart — Maybe he says this to all the groups, but we got a couple of unique treats last night.
One, a thunderstorm rolled up right as the festivities got underway, so he said he’d promised himself he’d read the thunderstorm bit if there ever was a thunderstorm … so we got a thunderstorm bit from the middle of the book, instead of something out of the first three chapters.
And for a finale, he read from a MS wherein a father does the most exciting thing you could do while going to the corner for milk … while accompanied on the banjo by Béla Fleck.
The story involved blobby green aliens, a pirate queen, and a hot air balloon with an unusual pilot (“‘You’re a stegosaurus,’ I said.”).
A wonderful time was had by all. Usually I can tell if I’ve had a good time if my belly is sore on the left from all the laughing.
I tried for a photo but it was all so washed out it coulda been anybody.
Booyah! Who’s the master of HTML?!
Their tiny little digits make my brain go all fuzzy, I’ll admit.
I’m sorry about your ovary-brain entanglement. Babies are awesome and I’m sorry that pregnancy is such a strain and a pain. Beloved was nearly constantly uncomfortable towards the end, especially when [DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON] her pelvis started separating along the joint in the front.
… The above comment about the awesomeness of babies was in no way meant to shame anyone who has decided to be childfree.
Are you planning on any more? Her problem _might_ have been related to the multiple birth or it could be a tendency to produce too much relaxin hormone, too soon. For me? I started getting pain in the pubis joint before I’d even been to the doctor about the second pregnancy – and I’d been more or less immobilised for the last eight+ weeks with the first (though she was a good fortnight overdue).
It’s best to find out as soon as possible. The physio can then give you the ugliest under”garment” known in the history of the world. It’s really just a giant tube of elastic folded back double on itself, covering from mid-thigh to armpits. But it does ***wonders*** to stabilise the hips, lower back and pubis joints – because the pain can be agonising and the one thing you don’t do when you’re pregnant is take painkillers.
OWWWWWWWWWWW! I just high-fived my penis after reading that
I know hubby would love to have children, but I am at best conflicted. Of course, right now it’s a moot point, because the only life-form aside from ourselves we can afford to support is Sneak’s aloe vera.
Also, I know way too many horror stories. One of my fellow students in my storytelling class told a story of needing to get a C-section with no anaesthesia. D: NOPE NOPE NOPE THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
Are we sure that Captain Power isn’t really Matt Forney? He’s used multiple names (Ferdinand Bardamu) before. One of Forney’s new things is this strange belief that Pro-Male/Anti-Feminist Tech & The Black Pill are the same person. While they’re both obnoxious misogynists, thinking that they’re the same man means that every misogynist is the same man. I wish that was true.
What I think is happening is that Forney is still using multiple names and is feeling pretty guilty about it. One of those names could be Captain Power.
“Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility.”
Matt Forney’s claims turns even old-fashioned notions of sociobiology on its head. As it is, I’ve an entomologist uncle who once told me that using sex hormones to control insect pest populations turned out to be a dead end because even female insects won’t mate with any male at all. I have wonder if Forney’s notions aren’t rooted in some drunken promiscuous behavior of his own, as is so often the case with men who’re hysterically worried about women’s infidelity/promiscuity.
What is it that causes people to tell horror stories to pregnant women? “Oh, I see you’re about to spawn. Let me tell you, in vivid, grotesque detail, the horrible, horrible (but statistically improbable) thing that happened to me / my wife / this person I heard about, which could not have been predicted or prevented, so that you can spend the remainder of your pregnancy stressing about it.”
RE: Unimaginative
I was unclear. The storyteller was a woman, and we were telling true stories, so she told the story of her emergency C-section.
Not gonna lie, it was quite a dramatic story! But DEFINITELY made me remember that I was not hugely into the idea of having kids.
Jeez I hope you weren’t at work when you did that, Shadow. Questions Might Be Asked.
@LBT, nah, I got that. It’s just that, women always seem to tell these stories to pregnant women, especially women who are pregnant for the first time. It usually freaks them out, and there’s usually nothing they can really do to prevent the story from happening to them. It just seems kind of mean to me, and yet I know that the story-telling women aren’t doing it to be mean. They’re just, I guess, over-sharing.
RE: Unimaginative
Ah, gotcha! It’s weird, other things aren’t like. I mean, when I had top surgery, if anything, a lot of people were kind of… underselling it, I think? Like I’d feel absolutely DELIGHTED about my choice straightaway, with no emotional conflict whatsoever.
Now, admittedly, once I was well enough to shower, I did feel that way, but for the week or so prior, not gonna lie, my main thoughts were, “WHAT WAS I THINKING?” But then, I felt like I’d gotten hit by a truck.
Wow. I wonder if there’s really any way to prepare for that kind of experience.
I haven’t really had any surgery (got LASIK, so now I have laser vision), but I’m contemplating breast reduction when I’ve lost enough weight and stabilized (I figure another year). I’m terrified and excited by turns. I’m afraid of pain, complications, and not surviving the anaesthesia.
(I’m not transitioning, just extremely top-heavy.)
RE: Unimaginative
Well, although my surgery was slightly different in mode and purpose, I think mine is similar enough that maybe I can help on that front.
As for pain… it passes. I was pretty lucky, and was able to get by on 1/8th the expected painkillers. (Though admittedly, they were HEAVY painkillers.) It wasn’t as painful as I expected, honestly. Like, yes, I couldn’t sleep lying down for a while, and it was longer before I could turn over, but I was able to do the things I needed to–wash my hair, go to the bathroom, and to some extent get dressed without help. I had two friends helping me, which made things a LOT easier.
Complications? Well, I didn’t have any. My surgery went swimmingly. So I can’t really give anything on that. It’s a matter of luck, and your surgeon.
Anaesthesia… well, my body does NOT like anaesthesia. I don’t think I’m in a small minority either. I ALWAYS need anti-nausea meds afterward, and am groggy and stupid for a day or two after. It’s pretty unlikely to kill you, though. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s nasty shit, but don’t let that be the basis of your decision alone.
You mean like THIS? :O
Ha! Now THAT would be awesome. But it’s still pretty cool to have peripheral vision and be able to walk without watching the ground.
Hmm … when one has peripheral vision (I’m myopic too) does one see more imaginary spiders on the wall, or fewer?
Um, not so much spiders on the wall as people moving around (who are actually leaves, branches, stationery objects that do not move in any way and have no possible reason to catch my attention but do anyway). But then, I’m in northern Canada. Our spiders are mostly innocuous, and can’t kill you by looking at you.
I beat a spider to death with a ladle the other night (it was too far away to reach by hand. The cat looked up for a second and then went back to sleep. She’s so jaded.