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Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]

Women preparing to cheat.
Women preparing to cheat.

Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]

If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.

Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless.  Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).

In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …

The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.

The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.

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ostara321
ostara321
11 years ago

Also, does anyone feel like Pell hold’s back on the “here’s my name” bit when demanding that we look him up is precisely to set up the conversation to make someone ask for his name? I feel like he relishes in it, like he’s revealing his secret Bond Villain persona.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

“I am…Pell!”

“Yes, we know.”

“No, seriously, I’m Pell. Quake in my fearsome presence!”

“Does shaking with laughter count?”

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Are you David Ibarra, the famous economist from Mexico?

No. Then put up your credentials or accept that we know we are talking to you.

The best are never famous,

But they have papers which are published like hella mad, right?

Ah… you teach at Yale: Are you Ahmed Mushfiq Mobarak?, or perhaps, Sharon M. Oster, Frederic D. Wolfe Professor of Management and Entrepreneurship & Director of the Program on Social Enterprise, PhD Harvard University?

Maybe you are James A. Levinsohn, Charles W. Goodyear Professor in Global Affairs, Professor of Economics and Management, & Director of the Jackson Institute, PhD Princeton University?

No?

Hrmn… I can’t seem to find anyone who teaches at both (pro-tip, making claims which can be checked… harder to avoid being caught: making extraordinary claims, which can only be one person in the world if true is dumber than a snail at a salt-tasting.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Oops: The grandiosity of the Pelltown Man got me. Yale and Princeton: Lessee… nope, no one who is listed as teaching Econ at both.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Welcome back, crmsnfrn! 🙂

zombie rotten mcdonald
11 years ago

hey folks. I hung around here for a bit during early days, but I’ve …been away. I see some familiar names….

Golf claps all around for the mockery of your troll. Worthy of the old days at Sadly, No, it was! And he is spectacularly dim.

But mainly I just have to say that I am tragically disappointed that he did not take the opportunity to claim that the only Pell in the Yale directory, the Architecture Professor, to ALSO be one of his specialties. Because, you see, I am an architect IRL and I would have loved the hilarity resulting.

Anyway, carry on. Although whoever posted the TeddyBabes links, I may be very twitchy when visiting the comments sections from here on out.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Pecunium – maybe Doctor Professor Sir Captain Pell is teaching secretly. He’s so very famous that Yale and [p]rinceton would have to pay him $10000000000000000000000000s of dollars if he used his real name. He’s such a kind generous fellow he’s donating his expertise in his spare time.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Also welcome back, zombie rotten mcdonald! 🙂

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

Kittehs: I’ll spell it out: I’m not talking about the pursuit of happiness. (There’s a whole big world out there of people who’s brains don’t phrase things in bits stolen from the US Constitution.) I’m talking about being happy. Present tense

As an FYI it’s not in the US Constitution (though lots of USians get that wrong).

Also that usage of pursuit is archaic, and means the “the state of doing a thing”, as in, “His pursuit of trade”, meant someone was had a business, and was actively engaged in it.

Polliwog
11 years ago

In the meantime, have some real babes.

Your babies are so cute that they just made my ovaries leap out of my body and strangle my brain. Now all I can do is say things like, “LOOK AT YOUR LITTLE TOESIE-WOESIES! WHO HAS TOESIES? YOU DO! YES YOU DOOOOO!” This may be a problem at work. :-p

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

I do not believe the intent of these posters was to absolve the male but to point out once legitimate consent is given, it cannot be withdrawn

Right…. because making rape not rape doesn’t “absolve” the male. Nope. Also it’s nice to know that consent is always irrevocable. I’ll be sure to say that to the next person who says, “Yeah, I would like to buy that $800 stock pot”.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

BTW: Anyone who wishes to pay that portion of their (US) taxes which are paid out to disabled vet in Chocolate is hereby encouraged to do so with Dick Taylor’s Black Fig Madagascar.

(for those who are in NYC, or Portland, and wish to procure some for themselves, The Meadow will be glad to provide you with some: and many other forms, suitable for paying your Chocolate Taxes)

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I have no fig chocolate, but I have some dark chocolate with chili peppers that you might like!

Robert
Robert
11 years ago

I saw a film of a woman giving birth in high school. It distressed me so that I asked my mother about her pregnancies when I got home. She assured me that they had been no trouble – for her, that is. My dad apparently did a LOT of vomiting. She went on to say that if she’d had to go through what some of her friends had gone through, she would have stopped at two.

As the sixth child of seven, that was rather unsettling.

zombie rotten mcdonald
11 years ago

Also, I am curious about the concept of ‘femzombies’

Asking for a friend, you know.

snore
snore
11 years ago

The headline still gives the impression the post was written by Matt Forney.

When you know it wasn’t written by Matt Forney, what is your rationale for not changing the headline?

katz
11 years ago

I really need to dedicate a comic to Pell. Anyone want to write a script?

Wetherby
Wetherby
11 years ago

I saw a film of a woman giving birth in high school. It distressed me so that I asked my mother about her pregnancies when I got home. She assured me that they had been no trouble – for her, that is. My dad apparently did a LOT of vomiting. She went on to say that if she’d had to go through what some of her friends had gone through, she would have stopped at two.

My son was delivered by Caesarean – not by choice, but because he simply wasn’t cooperating. My medically-trained wife had been present at many such operations, and was so blasé about it that she asked the surgeon if the usual screen arrangement across her belly could be omitted so she could have a good look. I very much did not want to have a good look, and was delighted when the surgeon insisted that the screen remain in situ – and when my wife urged me to take photographs, I just popped the camera over the screen and started shooting blind. Surprisingly, most of them came out OK, but I didn’t look at them for ages.

pecunium
pecunium
11 years ago

re screens: My mother has a pathological fear of general anaesthesia, and so (after several visits with a couple of shrinks) had her ovarian cyst removed under a local (the gas-passer told her to tell him 1: if it started to hurt, and 2: if she wanted to be put out).

So while the surgeon is working she tells him it “tugs a little”. He leaned over the screen to ask, “since I’m in here do you want your appendix out”,and a good time was had by all.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@Pecunium – “As an FYI it’s not in the US Constitution (though lots of USians get that wrong).”

Whoops, my bad! Where does that thing about the pursuit of happiness come from? It’s a very USian thing, isn’t it?

katz
11 years ago

Declaration of Independence.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

::slaps forehead::

Thanks! That’s what brain fade’ll do for ya.

Hrovitnir
11 years ago

Wetherby | July 10, 2013 at 5:24 pm
My son was delivered by Caesarean – not by choice, but because he simply wasn’t cooperating. My medically-trained wife had been present at many such operations, and was so blasé about it that she asked the surgeon if the usual screen arrangement across her belly could be omitted so she could have a good look. I very much did not want to have a good look, and was delighted when the surgeon insisted that the screen remain in situ – and when my wife urged me to take photographs, I just popped the camera over the screen and started shooting blind. Surprisingly, most of them came out OK, but I didn’t look at them for ages.

I like your wife. While the idea of growing a foetus makes me want to find a way to remove my uterus myself, if I was in her position I’d be the same. I’ve seen plenty of spays, it’s be cool to see my own caesarean!

Dvärghundspossen | July 10, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Buttercup, that’s awesome! I’m glad it went so well for you. I’m going to be even more an MRA nightmare and ask a friend. And prolly do it traditional because IVF is expensive$$$$.

In Sweden, supposedly a modern and liberated country, it’s illegal to inseminate single women with sperm, because “a child needs two parents”. Only women who have a husband/wife or partner they live with are allowed the procedure.
Meaning single women who wants to be inseminated just go to Denmark and have it done, where it’s legal. Denmark isn’t exactly far off. So the only thing this silly law accomplishes is preventing poorer women who can’t afford that from having a baby.

Yeah, single parents FTW. Preferably with a good support system so it’s not totally draining, but god, the idea of being stuck with someone who just makes your life harder as the second “parent” (not all guys obviously but if you have a time you want to have babies, you have a good chance of not finding someone awesome) is so much worse than being a single parent.

I’m really surprised Sweden is like that. I was pleasantly surprised that NZ allows single parent insemination – we had a section of our human evolution and sexuality class that was infertility. And of course the woman, who worked at a fertility clinic for a decade, was all about “better plan for babies soon” and my eyes almost rolled out of my head. But yeah, 70% of AI in NZ is lesbian couples and single mothers.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Ahoy, hrovitnir! Here’s my effort at your kitty avatar for your approval (or not). Yes, I used the kitty avatar generator to do it. 🙂

http://i.imgur.com/0DucbnC.png

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
11 years ago

SittieKitty, you’d make an awesome mom. Don’t listen to the naysayers! Single parenting can be hella difficult, but then so can co-parenting. At least when you’re flying solo, you don’t have to negotiate basic child care decisions, or worry about custody battles, or find yourself resentful because you’re shouldering the lion’s share of the burden anyway (and having to take care of an “extra kid”). A caring, involved partner is worth their weight in gold, but a bad partner can make parenting a nightmarish experience. If you do go it alone, you’ll find that a pretty amazing support system emerges from among family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers. It really does take a village.

I don’t understand putting restrictions on who can and can’t have access to assisted reproduction. It is not universally true that two-parent households are always better for children than one-parent households, or that Adam and Eve’s child will automatically be more well-adjusted than Adam and Steve’s (or Madam and Eve’s, for that matter). The main thing that matters is a loving, stable home, whatever form that takes.