Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
@Kittehserf – If it’s a litter you want, the doctor recommends this:
Your insurance should cover it.
Oh poop, my image link didn’t take. I haz a sad.
Once I dreamed I was parthenogenically pregnant with a litter of kittens. There were, in fact, three of them, and they were lovely.
Now I’m going to think about *that* and NOT watch the video about … *this*.
Honestly, I feel like that’s unfair to Dr. Bronner. He was a goofball, but at the end of the day he just wanted everyone to love each other (and convert to his silly cult). He wasn’t big on bigotry.
(Did you guys know that Dr. Bronner’s son is the guy who designed those “coexist” bumper stickers?)
Lmao, I muted the video and put on LBT’s 2001 music while watching it. So much funnier.
I was listening to Ministry while watching it, which was interesting.
guffaw-ferrets–
I had a dream that before you had a kid, you had to experience childbirth by carrying a kitten to term and through labor. My kitten was a calico.
I never want to be pregnant again. Like, literally. I have two kids, I’m happy with it, and I don’t want to go through pregnancy or childbirth again.
When people ask me if I want to “try for a boy,” I want to vomit up my uterus and slap them with it.
It seems pretty miserable.
I saw a film about childbirth at the age of about 8 and it put me off the idea for life. I get that for people who really want kids it’s worth it, but the idea that women enjoy the actual process…why? It pretty much seems like months of inconvenience and discomfort followed by extreme pain, followed by even more months of recovery.
@CassandraSays- I was lucky (relatively) and am pretty much totally healed from the birth part (within a week, I was pretty much at 95%). But I have a host of issues that have lingered about after the pregnancy, namely a leg-numbing sciatica, extra weight, and a very minor rectocele that mainly doesn’t give me issues as long as I Kegal regularly.
But yeah, I know some women who have encountered horror stories, and pregnancy/childbirth can kill women too. No one should ever have to do it against their will.
My vagina is not a clown car. It is also not a baby factory. Thanks to breastfeeding cutting down my “get down and boogie” hormones, I kinda feel like sex is more of a thing that I do because I don’t want to be a bad monogamous partner than something I do out of desire. Hopefully that fades as I breastfeed less and less.
Brain Bleach (my furrinati)
http://i.imgur.com/pUcvYWd.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/17fXWa0.jpg
http://i.imgur.com/IHEOwI9.jpg
Both times I was pregnant, I dreamt that I gave birth to a kitten. I’ve heard it’s quite a common dream.
I had easy pregnancies, no mood swings, no unusual discomfort, slept really well, no nausea. Labour…well, they were both short. 6 and 8 hours respectively. My body snapped back into shape within days and my sodding period started 4 weeks after birth.
However, I got PND both times so I just associate babies with mind numbing terror. I got better both times around 10months.
Mr.Bigmomma had the snip so no more for us, thank feck. @dualityheart…I agree, I have 2 girls and feel that my little family is quite perfect, thanks very much!
Then you might appreciate this! So weird… http://www.etsy.com/listing/65691041/gravida-cattus-greeting-card?ref=col_view
<3 That is an amazing description.
O_O That is so wrong. Body wins at pregnancy, brain says no. Much sympathies.
@Cassandra: “I hadn’t even thought of this earlier, but I wonder if attempting to hump a plushie could cause static shock. To the genitalia.”
OW!
It’d make sense with the domme dolls.
@Buttercup: I can’t see the image! Halp!
Since I live in the great land of OZ I can maybe get it on Medicare. Tho’ since my private insurer is in a city that hosts the Cats football team, they should be sympathetic to all things cat-related.
@dualityheart: “My vagina is not a clown car.”
Thank goodness for that – bad enough anyone trying to drive it, but clowns? Nooooo!
@neuroticbeagle: d’awwwww Furrinati with sad face, aka beagle exercising her Furrinati Mind Powers.
Kitten births – remember the story of Mary Toft, who gave birth to (rabbit) kittens?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Toft
@Kittehs
If you want to see “sad”, try eating something in front of her.
@hrovitnir, yeah, it sucked. I did joke that I would be a great surrogate mum. I ‘bloomed’ during pregnancy. But I still shudder at the memories of the first months. On the flipside, I really enjoy the tantrums and toddler years.
@neuroticbeagle – that ain’t sad, that’s tragic!
I deliver babies. This is my chosen career and I love it ^.^ I can see how many people wouldn’t like it though. I’d like to experience pregnancy merely because I want to experience everything, but I’m not sure I’m keen on the idea of taking care of a baby for 18+ years. However, I am planning on being a single parent within the next 4 years so I guess I’m clearly not averse to the idea.
@Kittehs
Lol. The Furrinati seems to think so.
I’m guessing he’s only ever met one drunk lady. Either that or his definition of cheating is very, very broad.
Also, fun fact; “pelle” means clown in Finnish.
Umm – the guy comments that one of his dolls was “suddenly wearing his mother’s old clothes”. I can see how that could have happened…
But apprarently she “looked cute” dressed in his mother’s clothes.
Yikes.
ust… yikes!
@sittiekittie, the idea of being pregnant REVOLTED me. I had no desire for kids but Mr Bigmomma did and after 12 years together and a lot of discussion around ground rules, I decided to have a child. And actually, I found I really enjoyed pregnancy. I will also never forget the look of pure joy on my midwife’s face when my first daughter was born.
I also don’t just take my hat off to single parents, I positively throw it in the air in recognition of how hard they work.