Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
I’m going to get yelled at for “mocking male sexuality” later, aren’t I?
Reminds me of one of the world’s greatest Dad jokes.
Q: Why was the scarecrow awarded a Nobel Prize?
A: He was out standing in his field.
I think I posted too soon.
Should have finished reading comments.
LOL
*twitches in pain at the Dad joke*
American TSA isn’t noted for its sense of humor. I would love to see a reaction to this.
That video…
The only thing better than that was the horrified look on Mr. HK’s face as he watched it.
Remind me to show Mr C later.
That video … even without sound …
Someone tell me Meller doesn’t own that site.
Non-creepy stuffed toys!
Ted, in Scottish mode.
You are eeeeeeeeeevil.
Kittehs, did you make the coatee and kilt yourself?
Nope, not sharing with Beloved, she can’t even stand Muppets.
Kitteh’s: somehow I don’t think those ladies are refined enough for Meller’s delicate sensibilities.
Posting after reading only the first page because I just must say that this:
Made me literally laugh out loud for like, a literal minute at least.
@deniseeliza: RUN! RUN WHILE YOU STILL CAN!
Nothing could possibly go wrong with this.
Sure! Meet Alfredo da Fishi, who was my date to a friend’s wedding a few years back. (Hence the tux.)
http://i41.tinypic.com/4t1yzd.jpg
@deniseeliza I agree with Falconer…..it gets pretty trolly in the comments.
@melody: Trolly, hell. I meant the plushie sex dolls and their come-hither winks.
I very carefully avoid such things.
I’m practicing my cackle for my role in our later performance of Discworld – The Misandry Chronicles.
And also the fish in a tuxedo. Probably that’s just me, though.
Re:Latex Nipples
When I was younger, I had a subscription to the Horrible Histories magazine thingo (and most of the books – bit of an obsessive), and they’d come with trading cards and some piece of cheap tat vaguely related to the era/place discussed in that issue.
Those nipples are dead ringers for the suction-backed DIY plague sores that came with the European Middle Ages issue.
@lowquacks – yes, made his whole outfit. Ted has quite the 19th century gentleman’s wardrobe (it isn’t easy making a top hat for a bear with an ovoid head, I tell ya).
@hellkell – true, true. Slutty sluts, the lot of ’em. Unless he’s decided that since locking up all attractive women in brothels isn’t going to happen, he’ll have to do it to dolls instead?
@Polliwog – squeee! He’s gorgeous!
@Myoo – now I’m picturing some bloke with superglued lips … perfect, perfect!
Damn, this thing is a bottomless pit of lulz..
http://www.teddybabechronicles.com/home.htm
For owners to share their photos, videos, and “stories”.
I’m not sure if this guy has a great sense of humor or a very unusual fantasy life.
http://www.teddybabechronicles.com/coppermine/displayimage.php?album=75&pos=1
Regarding Teddy babes. I forget where I was told of these, but this is not the first time I was linked to them. I need less sadistic friends.
I am in pain after that video.
BRAIN BLEACH!!
I was outside for lunch today and these birds called Killdeers were out escorting their young around. The little killdeers looked so cute as awkward teenagers on their extra long legs. Whenever anyone walked near the young birds the adults would fly off to the side and do their distraction dance. They make a loud tweeting sound to distract attention and then pretend to have a broken wing. SO MUCH CUTENESS!
I was sad that I was not able to make a good video, here is someone else’s http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xUO9vVkc0FY