Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
Hyena Girl, dammit, that’s two days in a row I’ve snorked soup onto my keyboard!
I’m loving the image of a hyenid librarian. Spotted, with glasses.
Dammit, Pell’s inability to punctuate is infectious.
Do you think they’re like those dolls that actually wink when you tilt them?
I’m sure many more visually-acute people could spot them without glasses.
It must be really easy to come up with different “types” when they all have the exact same body. The exact same formula for the descriptions too. I know this because I mentally started seeing the descriptions as Dwarf Fortress descriptions.
“Her hair is long and black. Her nipples are light grey. She needs alcohol to get through the working day.”
@ Falconer
Are those commonly used in America because I’ve never heard them before. It doesn’t seem very American because being proud of being working/middle class is a prominent theme in American society. Even those who are wealthy in America often bring up the struggles of immigrant ancestors as a way to identify with being “a real” American.
OH GOD YOU CAN MASTURBATE INTO THEM
Those dolls… can’t be unseen. They remind me of the stuffed elks’ heads in my grandfather’s basement, whose eyes would follow you everywhere. Now I’m going to have nightmares about those dead stuffed elks winking at me.
Perhaps I will forgive you CassandraSays, one day.
And we have a genuine hyena-librarian! Nice to meetcha! I’m more of a feline librarian, but it’s always nice to meet another one versed in the information arts.
RANDOM FLUCTUATIONS IN THE SPACE-TIME CONTINUUM TAKE THE WHEEL
@ Falconer
http://teddybabestore.com/products.html
I wonder how many complaints they got about the replacement nipples before they posted the disclaimer.
Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! That is horrifying/hilarious.
Ba-doom TISH!
Hey, don’t knock us visually crappy types. ::adjusts second pair of glasses under first::
… I think I just woke up my babies by laughing.
Among a certain subset of whiny entitled middle class brats? Yes. Too good for their parents’ class, trying to look like all that and a bag of chips, failing miserably.
The whole working class roots are American thing is among adults. Which Pell is not.
OK, this is the winner from that page, but I strongly suggest everyone put down anything they’re holding (especially drinks) before clicking.
http://www.teddybabechronicles.com/treatmelikelady.html
That’s gotta be a hoot at airport screenings.
Gods, the bit about the nipples is even worse than the *cough* inserts *cough*. I was expecting that, but the whole cutting off and gluing and …
Definitely for Pell types.
No. No. Will not watch. No.
@Ibara just because you have a degree in something doesn’t mean you don’t provide sources. And if you think that….well, if you are published in ANYTHING it isn’t a reputable peer reviewed journal.
And if you are so widely published do share your name so I can see if you are in ANY of the journals I subscribe to. However, I very much doubt you are who you claim to be because you come off as ignorant about the subject you claim to have a degree in. Even to some with just a lowly bachelors degree in economics.
And which economic theory are you basing your racist and sexist opinion on(I’m assuming it a capitalist theory of some sort)? All of them have their flaws mind you. Which is why they are theories and have many well known economists disputing them.
Or perhaps you just found economics a convenient cover for yourself. Shall we debate WHY the economic THEORY of trickle down economics doesn’t work. Or shall we perhaps debate how most actual economists don’t use that term. After all that term is mostly used by politicians
Of course you could chose to instead tell me how ugly,fat and old I am instead of debating.
::dies::
I’m flying to Queensland next week and now I’m in danger of giggling while I go through security.
@CassandraSays:
O_______________________________________________________________O
No. Noo no no no no no no no no. No this is not real no. God no.
*closes browser, delete’s root directory, runs magnet over drive, smashes computer*
You just know that’s the voice that the video maker uses for his own teddydoll.
They’re not commonly used by people who haven’t studied Latin or Marxism (e.g., peeps who haven’t been to college).
It’s more common to talk about “trash,” like “trailer trash” or “white trash,” or clandestinely photograph people at Wal-Mart and post them to websites with the purpose of laughing at their wardrobes.
@CassandraSays: … I think I’m going to stop looking at silicone-velour fake vaginae now.
Does anyone have any less disturbing stuffed creatures for brain bleach? I offer you Cassie, currently keeping me company and a generally adorable birdie.
…..I have no words.
The internet is a strange, strange place, you guys.
@cloudiah
Delightful! Another librarian.
Let’s hound Pell (or whatever the felinid or hyenid equivalent is) over making such an easily checked claim as peer reviewed publications. I’m published in my field (my savanna?) and that’s something I have little tolerance for people lying about.