Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
@kitteh, it really jumped out me. There are explanations but he’s so full of shit, who could be arsed to believe them?
What? You don’t think that doll’s breasts look real, Falconer? **snicker-snort**
Oh no, he’s American. He knows CT towns that only a relative local would know. British spelling is seen as…how to word this…something to do make yourself appear upper class. That’s not quite right though. It’s the assumption that that’s how rich people talk and spell and the British way is the “right” way and only you losers say color and not colour! (Note, I’ve only really seen this among middle class teens // young adults trying to look like they’re better off than they are)
@WalkingStickBug — The plebeians of ancient Rome were the people who were free citizens but not part of the ruling class. In English, the term “pleb” carries implications of being uncultured, uneducated, or lower-class.
A proletarian is someone in a capitalist society whose only possession of any value is his or her labor.
Basically they’re class-based insults.
And totally ninja’ed by lowquacks!
Getting back to the topic of women, sex and booze, I confess I have had few initial intimate encounters that did NOT involve a drink or two. Alcohol is, after all, a great (social) lubricant. Although I have had many many more drinks that did NOT result in sexual activity of any kind!!! Indeed, I am just now sipping a delightful pina colada after a long, hot day. My gf and I just returned from Puerto Vallarta, so I’m trying to extend the “tropical resort vibe” as long as possible.
“You guys are BORING and I HATE YOU ANYWAY and it’s ME making fun of YOU and Kittehs was totally wrong when she said I’m not happy and now I’m going to take my ball and go home!”
Etymologically, his or her children.
If Pell’s so smucking fart, how can he mangle English like that?
I predict he’ll be back within the hour if the Dark Lord doesn’t bin him first.
Did I scare him off with the plushy sex dolls? He does seem like the type to run screaming in terror when people talk about sex in anything other than a theoretical way.
I don’t think it’s even remotely true as a stereotype, either. The actual upper class as opposed to the aspirational middle class have long been far more casual (see: dressed-up businesswear versus schlubby old “preppy” clothes for the super rich in the USA, or U and non-U English in Britain).
I’m guessing the only people regularly using English spellings at Princeton or wherever it is now are expat Brits/Irish/Canadians/Australians still using the spellings they grew up with by mistake.
@hellkell:
He’s too far above us all to use good grammar. We’re all too plebish to understand the vast distance in intellect between us and him.
Ah, yes. Still clinging to the quaint knowledge of when to deploy “you’re” and “your.” We are so hopeless.
Now I want to see actual bat-shaped pubes! You’d need to be fairly thick-haired for it to work, I feel, but could be great for the goths out there. I’ve seen pubic handlebar moustaches that were pretty great.
I use British spelling, because I live in a commonwealth country. And I notice it simply because of how often I’m on boards and American spelling is used, it tends to stand out when British spelling is used.
lowquacks — prolly. I’ve never seen it from upper class people at all, but I really only encountered them at the law firm where I doubt they’d have such regional type slips.
Pell, dear Pell, poor deluded pseudo-patrician Pell,
Since you did claim to have published under that name and you did name the institutions that you supposedly worked for this terribly pedantic librarian did a literature search.
Oh deary me.
Well sir, it should come as no shock to you or any of the fine folks here that you are not published under that name. Now this silly hyenid librarian could be missing some facts that you failed to mention. But given what you’ve given us I can only reach one conclusion.
You sir, are a liar.
If you take issue with this you can either a) give us more details, or b) challenge me to a plushie duel at dawn you craven base-court popinjay.
OMG, if you hover over the photos they WINK OR POUT at you. Get thee behind me, demon, indeed.
http://teddybabestore.com/dolls.html
So NSFW.
Cassandra: AHHHHHHHHHH, IT WINKED AT ME!
I couldn’t have one of those in the house, too creepy.
hellkell – yeah, he’ll be back, that’s his usual form, isn’t it?
Maybe we should talk about bras or makeup again.
@CassandraSays
Not just winking and pouting. “Mona” and “Tina” raise eyebrows, “Sabrina” smiles. It’s unsettling.
Yes, yes it is.
And he’s blog herpes. Sooner or later he always comes back.
Now I’m going to have really weird dreams in which a plushie tries to strangle me with it’s garter belt while winking. Granted I have a stronger GTFO uncanny valley response than most people.
One of them (Nicole?) makes a kissy face…