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Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]

Women preparing to cheat.
Women preparing to cheat.

Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]

If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.

Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless.  Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).

In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …

The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.

The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.

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Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

But there are other sea beasties! Like, Giant. Fucking. Squid.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I believe my final vote was for octopuppies.

katz
11 years ago

How’s Uncle Monty, Pell?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL Argenti, those are Pell’s “100s of partners” most likely – he’s counting Rosy Palm and her sisters for every time.

Isn’t it funny how the Great Successful Dr Pell, PhD of Everything, who teaches at Yale and princeton-not-Princeton in his spare time, who’s had hundreds of sexual partners, who’s so rich and successful …

… feels the need to come here and scream and froth at people he claims are losers and soooo far beneath him? Who has never written anything to suggest he’s ever been happy in his sixteen seventy-odd years of life? Who rants and shrieks about women doing anything at all that doesn’t involve pleasing his boner, or men who don’t share his prejudices?

He just doesn’t sound like a man who’s successful, confident, well-educated, attractive … Curious, is it not?

Falconer, no worries, it wasn’t mansplainy!

Falconer
11 years ago

Clearly Giant. Fucking. Squid. are OTHER SEA BEASTIES.

It’s in Linnaeus, look it the fuck up 😛

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

But octopuppies is just a box of eight puppies!

Sea beasties works in this context though, as they do also control 8 limbs successfully.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Like your witty banter, Dr. Pell?

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
11 years ago

Worst (best?) part of Pell is how MRAs fall prey to the Poe Men’s Law. They fail so hard at the first rule of holes that I still wonder how serious even obvious trolls are.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

But Kittehs, he’s stoic. Doesn’t stoic normally mean “whines and pouts like a 3 year old who was just told he can’t have any more ice cream”?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

“whines and pouts like a 3 year old who was just told he can’t have any more ice cream”?

I thought that was spelled MGTOW.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Nawh, he’s more than 16. This is the entitled whining of someone with just enough life experience to have tried, failed, and resorted to blaming his inadequacies on everyone else. So, 19? 20? Maybe, maybe as old as 23~

Falconer
11 years ago

LOL Argenti, those are Pell’s “100s of partners” most likely – he’s counting Rosy Palm and her sisters for every time.

Nah, he probably goes to a certain bordello (NSFW).

Kittehserf
11 years ago

In the MRA dictionary, it does. Or will, if cloudiah wants to add an entry. 😀

I vote for octokitties. It’s a win either way: octopus plural or eight kitties.

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

Kittehserf: THe pursiut of happiness is for plebes. The upper classes have achieved this and try to make themselves great. if you haven’t achieved happiness you’re a failure. That’s step one, but I wouldnt expect a lower-class prole to understand.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Falconer, I thought it might be that one! 😀

rabbitwink
rabbitwink
11 years ago

Strindberg is virtually unheard of? That must be why every summer stock theater from Maine to Moscow has “Miss Julie” on tap every summer. To help boost his name recognition. It’s a concerted effort on the part of actors.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

@CassandraSays

Sounds about right. Looks consistent with what I can see.

-Dr Dr Reverend lowquacks, esq., JD QC PhD DD OA OMG WTF ROFL BBQ

Handiologist.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“if you haven’t achieved happiness you’re a failure.”

ALL THE PROJECTION!

katz
11 years ago

Step 1: Achieve happiness

Step 2: Whine and cry at strangers on the internet

Step 3: ????

Step 4: Still ???? because you weren’t doing this for profit in the first place

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
11 years ago

@Argenti:

*shudder* He better not be 23. I’d be sad for my entire age demographic.

@Ibara:

If the upper classes have already acheived happiness, they would find no desire to be great. If they desire greatness, then they have not acheived happiness. Therefore, the pursuit of happiness is for everyone.

Do you pursue happiness by commenting here, or greatness?

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Oh, right. Pell.
He’s a 13-year-old, right?
You know, if we pool our money, we could buy this guy a security blanket or maybe a life-sized teddy bear for him to hug. He could name the teddy Omega Dummy Cunt, and use it to expell his anger. Otherwise, he may get his ass kicked in meat space — if his personality is consistent with what we’ve seen here.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

LOL LOL and poor ol’ Pell has Reading Comprehension Fail the umpteenth.

I’ll spell it out: I’m not talking about the pursuit of happiness. (There’s a whole big world out there of people who’s brains don’t phrase things in bits stolen from the US Constitution.) I’m talking about being happy. Present tense. Which you, O rich and successful one, patently are not. You’re also not doing too well in the achieving greatness department, if you’re (oh, sorry, your) spending hours here ranting and screaming at us proles, who are, for the most part, happy.

But then that’s what it all boils down to, doesn’t it? We’re happy. You’re not, and you’re so pissed off about it, so angry that women aren’t your property, that you have to sit in your room (or Mom’s basement, maybe) and shriek about it online.

Pooooor little troll.

rabbitwink
rabbitwink
11 years ago

Hey, Pell- I’m trying to recall that strange way they spell “pizza” at some of the places there in town. You must know, teaching at Yale & all.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

He’s after the happiness he thinks the lazy loser lower class “coloureds” and “fatmobiles” are stealing from him.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Shiraz – geez, I wouldn’t wish that on any teddy bear!

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