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Matt Forney, still trying hard to offend, publishes post suggesting that whenever women drink they cheat on their boyfriends [CORRECTED]

Women preparing to cheat.
Women preparing to cheat.

Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]

If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.

Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless.  Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).

In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …

The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.

The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.

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Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I did a study once that conclusively proved that sad little boys should probably be in bed already. You can find it under my legal name

Dr. Viscaria

Science Person

cloudiah
11 years ago

I love how he tells us it’s him too, usually about an hour after we’ve all told him that it’s him. 😀

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Maybe he comes here to find out who he is.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
11 years ago

I remember Pell from way way back… Wow. This is some pretty intense trolling. I… I wanna play with the every-ivy-league-accepted boy racist too!

Hey Ibara, I wanna see your papers too. Can you post a link? I’d like to see how taxing the poor would make the economy efficient as well, given that the economy is based on money changing hands and all the money is concentrated on the wealthy.

To someone of a low-calibur intellect such as myself, it would seem as though having more people with more money spend more would drive the economy better.

On the other hand, an economy of 1 person may be the most efficient of them all.

Ally S
11 years ago

In what world is saying that someone is unlikely to have had experienced consensual sex with someone because of hir awful personality “virgin-shaming?” =S

Falconer
11 years ago

@Kittehs: I think it’s just Herriman’s style. Krazy Kat wasn’t particularly attractive, either, but there’s something compelling about Herriman’s backgrounds.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Well we so have a handful of totalitarian around. So maybe that one person economy is his thing.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Argenti, I said it was interesting that Pell chose dick-sucking to describe Pratchett’s acclaim, and it sounded like a classic bit of Pell projection.

Pell, of course, doesn’t know the difference between virgin-shaming (for simply being a virgin) and being laughed at because his toxic personality will keep everyone well away from him, hence he’ll never get the sex acts he can’t help referring to.

Hey Pell, if you’re going to say “But then your not very intelligent are you” it’d work better if you knew the difference between your and you’re. You need to try harder with this meltdown. The rage is there but it’s not exactly creative, y’know? We’ve heard all this before.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

But then your not very intelligent are you.

This is such a beautiful little example of smackdown fail that it deserves to be preserved for posterity.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Falconer – oh, yeah, I know it’s Herriman’s style (I know Krazy Kat) but it just didn’t quite work for me for Mehitabel. 🙂

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

Kittehserf, you fucking idiot, I’ve had 100s of sexual partners, so your virgin shaming failed, but it’s still not very feminist dumb female.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Wait, I have a “not very intelligent are you”…what is this thing and where is it stored?

Falconer
11 years ago

@Kittehs — sorry for that bit of mansplaining.

Jayem Griffin
11 years ago

Kick-the-Pell is my favorite sport to watch 😀

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

So, you’ve had a couple?

Did I call it, or did I call it? Pell, my dear man, you have two hands. Please go wank into a sock or the shower or something and stop wanking all over the thread.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Pell has hundreds of hands. It’s why he spells so badly, there are only so many hands that the brain can manage effectively at once.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
11 years ago

@argenti I love this quote from the article. I almost yelled “Quelle surprise!”,

It is comfortable for richer people to think they are richer because of the moral failings of the poor. And that justifies a paternalistic approach to poverty relief using vouchers and in-kind support. But the big reason poor people are poor is because they don’t have enough money, and it shouldn’t come as a huge surprise that giving them money is a great way to reduce that problem—considerably more cost-effectively than paternalism. So let’s abandon the huge welfare bureaucracy and just give money to those we should help out.

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Uh, do I want to read the rest of the thread or what?

Jayem Griffin
11 years ago

it’s still not very feminist dumb female

Another lovely gem of smackdown fail.

Falconer
11 years ago

Kittehserf, you fucking idiot, I’ve had 100s of sexual partners, so your virgin shaming failed, but it’s still not very feminist dumb female.

Once, I was the king of Spain.

Royalty, man, it looked good on me.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

I know, right? Like, obvious thing is obvious!

Cassandra — octo…whatever plural we decided on…manage it!

Actually, fuck it. That debate is way more interesting than Pell.

Octopī? Octopodes? Octopedes? Octopuses? Octopus is already plural?

Falconer
11 years ago

SEA BEASTIES!!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Shiraz — depends, are you familiar with Pell? Because HE’S BACK!!

If not, his whole game is trying to be as offensive as possible, making claims to greatness, insulting anyone and everyone, and generally acting like a spoiled entitled little brat.

Ibara
Ibara
11 years ago

Cassandra, why dont you leave the witty banter to others sweetheart.

kirbywarp
kirbywarp
11 years ago

If someone felt obligated to reveal their numerous sexual exploits after a hypothetical “virgin shaming,” then wouldn’t the shaming have succeeded? Like… the person felt ashamed at the label “virgin” being ascribed to him?

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