Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
Hey, I was able to find one of Pell’s “proven” economic papers online! It’s titled:
“The GReat Depression was caused by mismatched couloured taxes and feminists zombies you omega dummy!”
– Dr (Professor) Pell, Dr., Universtiy of ASsfax. PHD for economix.
Gosh, Dr. Pell, Academic, can’t you make up your mind? Are we riding the Oldmobile, the Fatmobile, or the bus? And if this is a stop on the Fatmobile, wouldn’t that necessarily mean that we already got off the Fatmobile in order to post here? You would think the world’s most successful doctor/lawyer/economist/statistician/photographer/programmer/gamer/Montgomery Clift impersonator would have learned at some point what the word “stop” means.
I’d like chocolate taxes, please. Not taxes on chocolate, taxes made out of chocolate. Mmm, taxes.
Femzombie might be the best thing I’ve ever been called at Man Boobz XD
What’s an educated roach? Why, Archy, of course!
Hell of a commute. Good thing it’s imaginary.
Dr Pell, Master of Dribble-down (or Drivel for short) Economics theory.
Oh but hellkell, hadn’t you heard? Yale and princeton (not to be confused with Princeton) fly Dr Pell in and out by private helicopters.
What…what is that?
Viscaria — I’m honestly not sure I’ve ever been called a cunt before. Like, am I supposed to be offended by the association with anatomy that’s generally present on females? Or the comparison the the female parts of society? Or what? I mean, I get that it’s an insult, and obviously it’s all MISOGYNY! But I don’t get why Pell thought I would give a single fuck.
Actually, that’s not the right word. I give fucks. And there are sometimes vaginas and clits involved, and they just aren’t an insult!
Private JET! Paid for by a subsidy funded by cutting food stamps and WIC. Cuz poor babies don’t need formula, that’ll just make their mothers’ lazy (*gags* this is an actual thing, in the real world, or at least the US corner of it)
Silly me, I forgot.
@Kittehs: Our dad used to read to us out of that book. I only realized years later that his edition was illustrated by Herriman himself.
After all they wouldn’t want to interrupt his golf round or anything.
Though judging by his typing today, the good doctor has spent too much time at the nineteenth hole.
Cassandra – that’s exactly what I was thinking. Never has had it sucked and never will, unless he’s got a very flexible spine.
Stop this virgin shaming, we’re a tolerant feminist community you hypocrite. But then your not very intelligent are you.
Oh, for the non-USian’s among us, WIC stands for Women, Infants and Children and is a food program for kids and mother’s of tiny kids. And yes, we really are cutting shit like THAT to fund subsidies for the uber rich. Fuck my
lifecountry.Come on guys, maybe he’s telling the truth! I mean, most professors I know held on to their undergraduate admissions letters like precious trophies. That’s totally a thing.
Uhh…you have enough projection to start a theater. No one said shit about your ability, or inability, to get laid. But you can now add sexually frustrated to my assessment of you.
And what? No rebuttal to not being in the Yale directory?
Oh, see I took Cassandra to mean you’ve never sucked a dick. I stand corrected.
You’re still a sexually frustrated whiny priviledged fool who thinks his shortcomings, and inability to make anything of himself, is the fault of everyone you see as less than yourself. Because clearly society is horribly wrong when THOSE PEOPLE can be successful and happy while you’re so miserable.
No one said shit about your ability, or inability, to get laid
Check the quote you illiterate prole
Falconer – I’ve never read it; I read about it in a cat book years ago. I saw the Herriman illustrations when I was Googling it just now. Not my thing, really … a cat called Mehitabel should be pretty, even if she is an alley cat. 😀
Now this depiction I really like. Yay Brooklyn Public Library!
Or the princeton directory.
Whiny baby Pell is hilarious. I’m kind of glad David is away from his email so we get the extended meltdown.
Oh, and my credentials? cloudiah, PhD in Snarkology, with an Advanced Certificate in Troll Poking.
I fuckin’ love how he always tells us it’s him, and always in the format of “ask for Dr. Pell” or similar (always Dr. Pell). It’s my absolute favorite Pell tic.
Prole, plebe, cunt, uneducated roach, lazy loser, lowerr class. I am just racking up the insults today aren’t I?
Pell: we don’t care if you can’t get laid, we just wish you’d stop jerking off in public.