Matt Forrney, the asshole behind the now-defunct In Mala Fide blog, is apparently as desperate for attention as ever. So today I’m going to indulge him by posting this deliberately obnoxious comment of his about women and drinking. [CORRECTION: The post was actually written by someone calling himself “The Captain Power,” who is evidently a whole other different person than Matt Forney, who merely published this post on his blog called Matt Forney.]
If your girlfriend goes out and drinks alcohol, you are most likely getting cheated on.
Women by nature are predetermined in their D.N.A to get pregnant and reproduce, and until they reach menopause they need a constant supply of penis to provide fertility. Your girlfriend might prefer your penis, but once the alcohol kicks in and she is inebriated, your penis is useless. Out of site, out of mind (but full of semen).
In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …
The few drinking exceptions for women include weddings, work parties, birthday parties with male friends, and suicide attempts.
The reference to suicide attempts at the end is a nice touch.
I am so working “out of sight, out of mind (but full of semen)” into a conversation.
Oh noes! He’s onto us!
I… am not even sure I can make a joke about this, since several of my suicide attempts did in fact involve alcohol. God. I can’t.
So… apparently
1. Getting into bed with a woman is really tricky business, and
2. ALL WOMEN who go out to a bar, club, restaurant and drink something with alcohol in it end up having a one-night-stand, unless their partner is there with them.
I sort of have trouble reconciling 1 and 2, but it might work if all these one-night-stands involves snake pits with a single alpha man and ten horny drunk women.
“In my entire life I have never met a women who was out drinking and didn’t cheat on her boyfriend. …”
Well, I for one don’t really care to introduce myself to you . . .
@Jayem, I’m sorry, that sucks.
Out of curiosity, why did the Mala Fide blog go away? And does it really make a difference since this blog is also horrible?
The Matt Forney blog is also horrible, that is, not Manboobz. I am one who could really benefit from an edit button for purely grammatical reasons . . .
Get out of my species, Matt Forney. Go on, get. You should be ashamed of yourself.
aka. “The Perks of Being a Wallflower”.
Serious sympathies and all the hugs desired Janem.
I’m sensing an obsession with penises from him.
Yes, I haven’t reached menopause yet and someone I still am surviving without this constant supply of penis . . .
Thanks for the hugs, guys. It was a long time ago, so I wasn’t expecting it to hit as hard as it did. Also, why are birthday parties with male friends supposed to be an exception?
Wow so I am the only woman in America who did not cheat on my boyfriend or husband while married when I went out for a glass of wine with friends? And now that I am in menopause I do not need the penis? Snap.
Because otherwise, he can’t continue to claim both “friendzone!” and the aforementioned “alcohol causes women to screw everything that moves”.
Also, yes, many many hugs 🙁 And here: http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/2013/07/update-baby-gibbon-reaches-2-month-milestone.html
@ grumpycat – I feel you, but trust us old hands when we tell you that having to correct ourselves in a separate post is a small price to pay to prevent gaslighting.
Jayem, I’m sorry, that’s really rough and it was a really disgusting thing for him to throw in there.
Of course women are more likely to cheat when they are drunk. Any time one’s inhibitions are lowered, one is at risk of making poor decisions.
Then again, I think the same is true for men. A man who is drunk is certainly more likely to cheat on his girlfriend or wife, I would imagine.
Of course, it’s silly to imagine that everyone who drinks, cheats. It’s not silly to imagine that there’s an increased risk of cheating when drunk, though, for both sexes. The lesson I take from this is that people should stop drinking before they are drunk.
Jayem – I think because they will keep her in line? Maybe they’re friends with the boyfriend too and therefore ‘bro’s before hoes’ or something. It’s not like I understand mras, puas and others like them.
Also, yay for acquintances that get pestered by selfish, narcistic assholes who describe themselves as nice guys (but are so clearly not nice at all). :/
I wonder how I managed to cheat on my boyfriend on the occasions when I went out drinking while not, in fact, in a relationship. (Never mind the fact that I’m pretty boring and have never actually had a one-night stand or cheated on anyone in the first place – I’m way more interested in the metaphysical challenges posed by the fact that women who consume alcohol are necessarily cheating on their boyfriends even if they are married, single, lesbians, or otherwise not possessed of boyfriends to cheat on.)
For that matter, I also wonder how I managed to cheat on my boyfriend during the most recent occasions in which I have gone out to bars, all of which have involved my boyfriend. How did he not notice me cheating? Was I cheating on him with himself? Mind = blown.
I just like to think that he makes this a self-fulfilling prophecy by attempting to hook up with every woman he ever sees out drinking.
As for the OP…yeah. He’s trying really, really hard. And he’s mostly just looking ridiculous. He reminds me of a little kid opening his mouth to show everyone his food: “Gross! Look how gross I am! Everybody pay attention to meeee!”
Kin of makes PUAs seem even less impressive than usual, if they need to go through all that manipulating, gaming, peacocking, etc etc, despite every woman with a drink in her hand being totally desperate for the sexy times.
That would be kind not kin /sigh
Wow…This is some….woman hating.
I know plenty of women who didn’t cheat while drinking. However, I am relived that they are not acquaintances of Matt.
@Jayem Griffin odd things can be triggering. Never feel bad for being triggered.
(Side note: I will really really try to come by on a more regular basis to manboobz. I’m afraid I keep vanishing, I’m not even lurking anymore, and feel kinda bad about it. I just feel that everything bad happens all once. I just went home because my aunt irene died, I’m still unemployed, they just increased my insurance costs, I had to get a root canal (800 dollars are now gone from my bank account) ect. I would go to a counselor to get on anti-depressants, but I can’t afford them).