Here’s an interesting, er, historical discussion I found in the Red Pill Women subreddit, in a larger discussion of vagina size:
The more you know!
The entire discussion is, of course, a gold mine of misogynistic nonsense. You can dive right in here, or see some of the more memorable quotes highlighted in this Blue Pill discussion.
@rabbitwink
Is it necessarily a misogynistic thing? It’s just a sex act.
As long as the context is that the woman is a willing participant I see nothing misogynist in that.
IsraeliTe women, please. Whatever the problems of the modern state, “committ[ing] harlotries in Egypt” (Ezekiel 23:4) does not currently carry implications of worshiping foreign gods, however much fun that last vacation in Dahab and Nuweiba was.
According to ex-gfs reports
Love the way Joe is mansplaining to a room full of women about something that he claims he only knows because women told him.
…and we’re back to “History of the World, Part 1” I see, and monolith jokes. EXCELLENT.
@lowquacks and marci:
Context is important.
It’s a little like the “Damsel in Distress” trope. There’s nothing wrong with someone needing to be rescued from time to time. But when the one being rescued is almost exclusively women across an entire genre, and the only significant role a women plays in the story, then it becomes a sexist trope.
TMI potentially follows:
There is a degrading aspect to a facial, i.e. the face being representative of the person in a way elsewhere on the body isn’t, and the fact that semen is generally considered “nasty”. The man gets the orgasm, not the woman.
While this can easily be countered if the recipient actually enjoys and seeks out the experience, I think we can agree that they are over-represented in porn compared to the number of people willing to receive one.
This means facials/bukkake are usually presented as a degrading act, and most people who watch porn and try to emulate it are soaking in that subtle narrative of male dominance over a female partner. Just as normalizing “Women are weak and need to be rescued” as a cultural narrative in “Damsels in Distress”, “Sex is something a woman does for a man’s pleasure” is the cultural narrative of a lot of mainstream porn.
“I think it’s true that in general being obsessed with cock size is more of a man thing than a woman thing. Which doesn’t mean that size queens don’t exist, or that the average woman doesn’t consider some guys “too small”, but the idea that bigger is always better even when you start getting into “is that a cock or a baseball bat?” territory? That really is mostly a guy thing, ime.”
de-lurking to say YES. and it’s ridiculous. Mr. Snide is fairly large in the bits department, and while he’s pretty blase about it, his old roommate was the WORST. anytime we were hanging out with other people, Roommate would start telling everyone about Mr. Snide’s junk and how enormous it was. even if we *weren’t* there he’d tell people about it. It made Mr. Snide super uncomfortable because, well, who wants a roomful of strangers to hear about how big your dick is (or, what nice person who’s not an asshole wants a roomful of strangers to hear about how big your dick is)? Roommate was the kind of person who tries to, like, glom on to other people’s “accomplishments”: “I dated a girl who got signed by Ludacris”, “I know a guy who’s doing a PhD in *bullshit concept*”, “I know a dude who made millions on youtube”… so the best we could figure out is that he was trying to be Girthy By Association. he was super creepy, and would regularly ask what intercourse with Mr. Snide was like. *shudders*
@auggziliary I actually wish David would share the highlights of his hate mail. Some of it must be hilarious.
@auggziliary & emilygoddess, David’s shared some highlights (lowlights) in the past, either hate mail or hate comments, I can’t remember which.
I do not know this for a fact, even though I am David, but I suspect his remedy for the hate is KITTENS!!!
So, regarding perceptions of penis size: I have an former partner who is bi,and had been in an exclusive relationship with another woman, just before she and I became an item. In the course of conversation at my work (I was in the Army at the time) this came up in passing (she was telling a co-worker she was going to to lunch with her ex).
I got envious ribbing for years. The narrative being I’d, “converted her” with my huge cock. I had people being obnoxious about wanting to see it (I don’t use urinals, this is non-standard behavior in the Army).
When I got tired of it (pretty damned quick) I just told them they really didn’t want to know.
1: I was huge, and they could never measure up.
2: I wasn’t, and they were just that much worse in bed.
3: Both of these ignore that I didn’t, “convert” her in the least.
This, of course, is because the idea that there are women who are seriously in to both men and women is alien to so many people. The idea a woman who enjoys sex with men could be happy; for years, without the cock wasn’t something they could get their minds around.
it’s that myth that well-endowed = “good at sex”. it’s so pervasive. so of COURSE you converted her from her lesbian ways with your Awesome Sex Moves (TM), and everyone knows that Awesome Sex happens because of Big Penis. how else would you do it? /sarcasm
Re: Bukkake A populqrly disseminated myth says it was a punishment for women found to be adulterous. I am uncertain if this is true, but, however the seed was planted, it definitely leaves a bitter taste. So I am all for consent, just this seems difficult to manage safely and carries a load of degradation.
Men or women, those people are pathetic.
I’m not sure his sources are accurate. For instance, I found this snippet of William Congreve’s old tragedy, The Mourning Bride, that dates to at least 16 69.
“… As you’ll answer it, take heed
This Slave commit no Violence upon
Himself. I’ve been deceiv’d. The Publick Safety
Requires he should be more confin’d! For verily,
His member engorged might block out the sun, and none
of us are safe when he doth walk the street.
Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent
The base Injustice thou hast done my Love:
Yes, thou shalt know, spite of my past Distress,
And all those Ills which I so long hast mourn’d;
Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d,
Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d;
Lacking both tender caress
and a true plowshare to sow the fields of her youth“
@Opium – I’ve heard that myth, too. It’s pretty much bullshit, though I would need a few minutes of risky-at-work google-fu to back that up. As best I can recall, it was a weird combination of advertising and explanation for just what the hell you were seeing when the first Bukkake videos arrived in the U.S. from Japan in the late Nineties.
In other words, someone took a sex act that most people would consider degrading to begin with (honestly, the only way I can see someone enjoying being at the center of one is because they consider it degrading), and created a myth so that it was an actual punishment, not just another deviant sex act that the porn slut you’re watching loves because she just can’t get enough cum.
Fortunately, it seems to have mostly died off. I’d like to think it was because even your standard pornhound isn’t quite that misogynistic.
So! Not to say that bukkake is completely without problems, because I do think most depictions of it are misogynistic, but I do feel the need to come out in defense of perverts everywhere. There are a ton of reasons to want to be the center of a bukkake, one of which is to feel degraded, and there’s nothing wrong with that. But someone could also like feeling that attractive, or like being surrounded by all those penises, or just like cum and being cum on.
To the misguided penis-havers out there, let me say this: If the other person doesn’t want to sleep with you, most likely the reason isn’t your penis size, and even if it is, it is just as likely, if not more likely, that they have a problem with it being too big rather than too small. People are complex like that.
Isn’t the fact men are obsessed with large penis size one of the reasons why porn has so much of it? I thought I read somewhere that was the case, as well as how “lesbian” (read: two women having sex in manners which straight men imagine lesbian women have sex) porn often throws a man into the mix because men, in general, want the penetration thing more than they care about not seeing men’s penises.
No, there’s not, and I’m sorry if I seemed to imply that there was.
I like that there are happy reasons.
Truth be told, I just wanted to fit a bunch of puns in a response.
Your kink is not my kink, but your kink is ok. I still think the safety issue is a concern, but informed consent is key. Degradation is culturally bonded to a lot of female fantasies. A large part of it is slut shaming. Women who are successful at using their sexuality are dirty and debased. I see that the women are treated disrespectfully sometimes in these types of scenes though. I like when the model(s) are interviewed before and after to talk about what they wanted and what they got out of a scene.
Bukkake is pretty much like every other porn kink, from BDSM to role-play to trapeze sex. The problem isn’t the kink. It isn’t even the porn. It’s the society surrounding it all that’s so infested with misogyny, racism and other kyriarchal vectors (classism factors in a lot, for instance) that the porn itself reflects those values, often in the most blatant and raw fashion.
Off topic (but about cats so not really): how does one tell if a cat is actually stray? As much as I talk about stealing a cat, I don’t want to theif someones cat. But I fed Jerome yesterday, and he seemed hungry, though hes a big cat. He’s not fixed and while very sweet is alternately skittish and gets so excited at being petted that he attacks (and hard). I worry if I take him to the SPCA they’ll decide hes not social enough and put him down.
Last Christmas, my wife made my cousin blush scarlet after she (the cousin) made the mistake of asking her what attracted her to me in the first place. Believing that the truthful answer (matching personality/sense of humour/common interests/etc.) would be boring and predictable, she apparently said “It’s because he’s got a truly massive cock. Almost like a baby’s arm”. I was out of the room at the time, and when I returned I sensed a somewhat… unusual atmosphere, but I didn’t find out the truth until my wife ‘fessed up later that night, interspersed with much giggling.
But I’ve always had the impression from talking to various girlfriends that penis size really really doesn’t matter to them unless it tends towards really extreme ends of the scale – and that very big ones are actually more likely to pose compatibility problems than very small ones. Which is of course the precise opposite of what men are conditioned to believe, but there you go.
WeeBoy — put a note on him?
Since my mother is giving out free advice today, I got to the excited about being fed and petted and she thinks he’s probably a stray. So pin a note on him and if no one replies get him fixed? And honestly, if the SPCA might put him down, might be best to just let him go again after that’s done. (And hey, if you feed him, and pet him, well, cats do pick their humans!)
WeeBoy – do you use microchipping in NZ? If so, you could get the SPCA to check him. Tell them you’re adopting him, don’t let them just take him.
Speaking of unsociable cats, we got Magnus from the RSPCA and he was much the way you describe Jerome – hadn’t been neutered (he was about 18 months old) and, I suspect, had been teased badly as a kitten. His whole 22 years, he was keen for pets and laps, but would turn very readily and do serious damage. He didn’t like hands coming toward him, they were a threat; the way to pat him was from behind. The RSPCA obviously hadn’t felt he was a threat, but that’s ‘cos he was coming down with flu and was very biddable when they had him!