Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
@falconer
And yet I don’t have a little black dress. *sigh* my wardrobe is incomplete. Though I do have a sparkly frilly black skort with a bow on it. I should post pictures sometime its really cute if you have exactly my fashion sense.
@auggz
I’ve been wanting to grow my hair out for a while but I cut off the split ends a little bit ago and waaaay overdid it because I tried cutting it myself and it ended up five inches shorter 🙁 but yes, I want to grow my hair out too! 😀 Or at least find a cute but comfy and low maintance hair style…yeah that will be easy /sarcasm
*hugs* thank Marie.
That’s rough. I find that the “it’s just different” think is an avoidance measure. People use it to avoid talking about subjects that make them uncomfortable or they don’t know how to defend really well. Can/have you talked to your dad about it? Might help if he is able to mediate a bit, assuming he’s alright with that kind of thing. Otherwise, I’m not sure I have much useful advice, when my family is being racist or whatever I try to get some cognitive dissonance going by asking questions that challenge their beliefs in a gentle way. If it’s just one-off sentences that aren’t meant to stimulate discussion it can help to just make her think, even if she doesn’t want to.
Alternatively, you could try getting your brother out when she’s not going to be around. Take him out of the house or whatever. I generally don’t recommend going the direct route because I don’t have the information needed to make the call about whether it would go well or not.
Haha, this bra discussion has obviously gotten to me, since tonight I dreamed that my tiny A-cups suddenly grew huge (and I mean really suddenly, like in a minute). Or “huge” compared to what they were like before anyway, like D or DD or something. In the dream, I wasn’t surprised at all, just really annoyed because now I had to spend all this money on new bras.
Besides, I’ve sometimes seen ads for bras stating that most women wear the wrong bra size, and I’ve always doubted that, because I thought that how hard can it be really? Isn’t finding the right size just a question of going into a store and see what bra that fits, just like you do for other articles of clothing? But maybe it’s true, because so many weird assumptions goes into bra shopping that don’t really go into shopping other clothes. A friend of mine told me some time ago that she’d just realized she ought to have C-cups, not A-cups. I had sort of noticed that her boobs looked funny, but obviously I hadn’t commented on it since that would have been super rude… I never guessed that her funny boob shape had been caused by her pressing down a couple of C-boobs into an A-cup bra. The reason she’d been buying A-cups all this time? She thought she was unattractive, and thought that only hot girls had C-cups…
@augzilliary. Mememe! I’ve been growing out my hair for the past year, year and a half, because I like the way it looks. And I like having a ponytail. *swishes* So far it’s past my shoulderblades, and I am trying to decide how long I want to let it get.
As for the whole bra-discussion: I need some new ones myself, but the last time I measured myself, it came out I was like an A-cup. Yeah… *looks down at her chest* Not on your life, mister. I haven’t been an A since puberty set on.
I am totally sick of the tennis, finally it is over but now we get bullshit like this:
http://publicshaming.tumblr.com/post/54864863081/womens-wimbledon-champion-marion-bartoli-deemed
Apologies for interrupting the hair and bra talk…
Speaking of which, finding a bra that fits properly is a dream of mine. I know my size now and the difference is huuuuge (thought 34B, had actually morphed into a 32D) but I still have not found a comfy one that isn’t a sports bra or a lacy one that shows through my clothing ;_;
@SittieKitty
Thanks for advice 🙂 I should try talking to my dad about it. He knows I’m gay (not that it wouldn’t make straight people uncomfy, but the whole homophobia thing is a tiny bit more personal this way*) and doesn’t have a problem with it, but I’m not sure if he’d be willing to talk to her. :/ He was kinda quiet the whole conversation.
I can probably take my brother out more when I have my license, and with luck a car. I live 15 minutes away, not far, but not easy to get to him w/o car.
*and that makes it sound like the only options are straight or gay. :/ So I’m guessing she’d be making bi people and other people who like same gender uncomfy too, but she was sure phrasing it like straight or gay were the only options.
That’s a good idea, sadly I think I’m a teensy bit too confrentational to do it XD my sister seems way better at it then me
@Dvarghundspossen
Hey, annoyance is a perfectly reasonable reaction to having to spend a buttload of money on bras! 😀
Speaking of bras, I lost my favorite sports bra (only sports bra, but it was my best bra period) and now I have a sad. It’d probably show up if I cleaned my room though. *sigh*
If I actually measure myself I’m actually off the chart, um, downwards, so to speak. So strictly speaking I’m not even an A-cup I guess? That’s why I mostly wear something like this http://www.ellos.se/bh-topp/323258?N=1z141n2Z1z141z0Z1z141ll&Ns=RankValue5|1&Nao=6 if I do wear one… I really don’t need support for anything, but if I wear a shirt or anything a little bit rougher in texture than a t-shirt it feels nice to have some kind of, um, nipple protection.
On a completely different topic: Shouldn’t Rammstein’s “Pussy” be the Incel Anthem?
“You’ve got a pussy
and I have a dick
So what’s the problem?
Let’s do it quick!
So take me now before it’s too late
life’s too short and I can’t wait
Take me now, oh don’t you see
I CAN’T GET LAID IN GERMANY!”
Just replace “Germany” with whatever country the incel in question is from, and where he considers the women too choosy/feminist/stuck-up/whatever, and you’ve got the perfect incel anthem!
So pissed: California prisoners sterilsed without consent
@auggz
Those are cute hairties! 😀 tbh, I kinda skimmed your hair care routine, since as long as mine isn’t falling off my head I’m okay. Low standards 😛
@Pecunium
I saw that earlier today 🙁
Pecunium: That’s pretty horrible. Forced sterilization is often talked about as if it were a thing of the past, but here in Sweden, we had forced sterilization of trans people until this very year.
Regarding hair, I don’t think there exists a hairstyle which is really comfy. I’ve had long hair (down to my waist at the longest), but then you must always make braids and stuff to keep it away from your face… Right now I have short hair, but that has to be cut once a month or you look like an idiot (at least if you, like me, have very fast-growing hair). I’ve had a mostly shaved head, which is nice during hot summer days, although if I shave I need to do that every day.
At least, now in my old age, I’m too lazy to have black hair any more. I had black hair for quite a lot of years when I was young, but for a natural blonde (or at least my natural colour is like semi-blonde or something) it looks like shit if you haven’t dyed it for five-six weeks. When blonde roots grow out on black hair, it looks like you’re going bald, as if you can see the scalp through the hair. So as much as I liked black hair esthetically, I’ve been blonde for over ten years now, and counting…
@Dvarghundspossen
Mainly I want something I can 1) pull back easily. And that looks decent. I’ve tried bangs but they always get in my face :/ My main gripe is hair right behind my ears (that’s wear my glass go and my ears are strangly sensative. Ponytails work but are kinda boring, but braiding is haaaaarrrd. /whine.
Speaking of hair dye, I should dye mine again, I had it dyed really red but it’s starting to fade…
Well the problem starts with sizing. Cup size isn’t absolute, it is relative to your band size. So in general, a 30A means you have a 30 inch rib cage, and your bust at its widest point is 31 inches, as A means 1 inch bigger. If you have a 40 inch rib cage and your bust is 41 inches, you wear a 40A, but the volume of your breasts is going to be larger, as you have a larger ribcage.
Many manufacturers only make cup sizes A-D. So if you “should” be wearing a 30 DD, but the only thing on the shelf is a 32 D, the cup size will be correct, but the band will be a little loose. So if you get this bra, it’ll seem to fit, but the back will ride up and it will not be as supportive. So you just conclude that bra’s are uncomfortable torture devices and keep wearing your 32 Ds. Then you put on a little weight, so you go up to a 34D (despite the fact that it’s your boobs getting bigger, not your ribcage) and before you know it you’re WAYY off size.
Bra-fitters at most stores add to the problem. At most stores, you’ll find in their bra-fitting guides that you should measure your ribcage and add 4 inches and that is your band size. That is flat out wrong, and that is done solely to make people who have busts that should be in a, for example, 30 DD (which they don’t stock), into a 34B (which they do stock). So if you are busty at all, and your first experience in buying a bra is at a Victoria’s Secret, you’ll be in a wildly wrong size (because Victoria’s Secret doesn’t sell your real size) because the cup “fits” but the band is way off, and you’ll just conclude that bras are hideously uncomfortable torture devices, and keep shopping at VS.
I’ve got super short hair again, mainly to be comfy in TX summer. I’m having it bleached out again on Friday, I haven’t been blonde for a while now, but I’m getting tired of the grey and trying to cover it with dark colors. If my grey was the bright white like my grandma’s instead of the awful silver it is (which just washes me out), I’d keep it natural.
I’ve been growing mine out for over a year now. I just had about 6″ cut off a week ago, but it is still brushing the bottom of my bra strap (see what I did there!). I love it in the hot weather because I can put it in a ponytail or a twisty-bun-french-knot-thingie (sorry for laying the technical jargon on you there…) to have it up, out of my face and off my neck!
In unrelated recent news, has anyone been following the hullabaloo after Gabrielle Glaser’s ProPublica piece about the abuse and murder of women seeking treatment in AA?
http://www.propublica.org/article/how-alcoholics-anonymous-can-be-a-playground-for-violence
Cue the hoard of “how dare you criticize a program that has helped so many people” and “it was her choice to start dating someone while in recovery” victim blamers, not to mention those pointing fingers at Glaser and ProPublica for nepotism and opportunism as she promotes her new book.
Glaser isn’t even calling for anything like ending AA, just reforming it and seeing that their own rules are enforced to protect vulnerable people, but many of those vulnerable people are women so the worms come out of the woodwork to fling mud and shriek about discrimination rather than valuing the lives of vulnerable people enough to take steps to help and protect them.
I’ve got this ex-client besieging me already today, and that was before I even had the chance to check the news…
Has anyone else noticed some brands of bra moving from cup and band sizes to just plain S/M/L? Because what we totally needed was fewer options.
I’ve given up on ever wearing the “right” bra size. I wear a 34A because it’s comfortable and looks good and seems to fit. Yet when I do the math to find my “real” size I get 32B. Every time I’ve tried on a 34B the cups gape and the band digs in at its loosest setting, so no thanks.
Hair: I’m growing mine out too, mostly because I just plain can’t afford the frequent haircuts needed to maintain a good short style. Once I’ve gotten rid of these layers I’m cutting it blunt, and then having it trimmed at Supercuts or some other cheap place every 2 months.
Heh, bras. I just recently found a place that sells bras that are actually my size! I had been wearing the wrong size for basically forever, but it wasn’t because I didn’t know it was the wrong size, but rather because I couldn’t find anywhere that sold a 36/38 K, and I figured I was better off buying something that I could at least try on first than chancing bras sight unseen online (because really, it’s not like the person wearing that bra in the photo is built anything like me and I can’t tell if my boobs are just going to fall right out of it or what).
I’ve also started altering my bras myself, since the fucking shoulder straps are always, ALWAYS too long. Like, they don’t even shorten down to an appropriate length. I generally cut the adjustable part in half and sew it back without the little slidey adjuster bit.
What? What?! WHAT?! I don’t fucking. The fuck is that fucking…
We’re still involuntarily sterilizing people? My brain just broke.
My takeaway from the very long OF-related comment section is that even OF’s friends think he is an asshole.
Did I miss anything important? (I’m deliberately skipping over his fucktastic victim-blaming episode. FWIW, I think that more than earned a permaban, even though I know he will interpret that as “They can’t handle my volcanic TROOF.”)
Anyway, the main reason I read through the whole comment thread was because I was hoping Falconer would have posted some MOAR BABY PICTURES, so yay! And Dvärghundspossen has some cute doggies, and I love the photo where the GSD’s ears photobomb!
On the jargon front — I just want to say that I once actively participated in changing a majority-white organization that represented the interests of a majority-POC base into an organization that more accurately reflected that base. Reducing/explaining the jargon was a huge piece of that, actually, because it was so alienating to people and made them feel like they couldn’t participate as equals.
Have to read that Popehat thread.
LBT, I have a friend who is temporarily homeless living with me. If he has sorted things out by the time you make it to LA (if you come to LA), I could maybe put you up for a few days.
My racist cousin-by-marriage has gotten a little bit better, or maybe he just knows not to pull that shit in front of me anymore. Small victories, I’ll take ’em.
Involuntary sterilizations, WTF???
This has been an episode of “Totally Random Sputterings from claudiah.”
So much to catch up on, just a quick note before I head to work:
Hrovitnir, haven’t worn the new bra yet, I’ll report back later! I have good hopes for it. Hot Milk have always been comfortable before.
Historophilia – “I honestly think all this PUA stuff is just elaborate fantasy. Sad really.”
That’s what I’m suspecting. It’s all about bragging to other men, scoring points, so who’s to say any of their tales has any truth in it?
Auggz – growing hair out, cool! I went from a 1920s bob to my current length. Important points: get it trimmed regularly, it keeps the ends neat instead of wispy, makes for healthier hair and will help it look thicker. Ditto layers if you like them; they’ll also help bring out any curl.
Right, having dispensed pearls of wisdom I must hie me into the ALMOST ZERO temperatures and catch a train. Back in about three hours, public transport permitting. 🙂
Kitteh — it’s 90F/32C~ here, split the difference? Please?