Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
Oh yeah, that’s true, too. If the woman is older, fatter, has a flat chest, or acne, then she isn’t good enough for them. Actually, the very existence of women who aren’t Maxim models is misandry.
And it’s not enough for the woman to look like a Maxim model, either. She also has to be submissive and spend all her time wearing lingerie and cooking him mealtloaf. Otherwise, she is a bitchy nag.
It’s always fun to see those guys come into feminist spaces to make these demands. That always turns out well for them.
And no short hair either! Long hair and perfect makeup and a tan (no tan lines!) And she has to have a passion for housework!
The incel guys who actually could get laid but don’t want to have to sleep with fat chicks or old chicks or anyone who doesn’t have the exact same relationship goals (or worse, the ones who actually are getting laid but say they’re incel anyway) make me roll my eyes so hard.
RE: Fibinachi
Check in an tell us how it all works out time and again, yes?
I plan to keep a pretty steady online presence, since I’m relying on my writing and art to keep myself funding. Will likely be investing in a personal hotspot. But fear not, Manboobzers, I shall not disappear!
RE: gillyrosebee
What a prize. Eesh. As for West Virginia, I’d likely be in THAT area in the spring, so no go.
RE: pecunium
OMG: I don’t know why I dove into the popehat comments. I found a dude more irritating, tedious and wrong, than Brandon.
I didn’t know that was POSSIBLE.
@auggziliary Ugh, with the Zimmerman stuff, I can’t even… The blatant racism of the mainstream coverage is bad enough, and then there is everyone on the pro Zimmerman side who take that and drag it down into the mud even further…
RE: katz
I’m still just plain PERPLEXED by the term ‘involuntarily celibate.’ I mean, outside of ace folk and people who’ve joined a monastery, aren’t MOST celibate people not that thrilled about it? (I was fine with it, but I’m apparently a weirdo.)
But I feel hypocritical because I do think it’s unfair to have to choose between, say, shitty housing and no housing, or a shitty job and no job. Thoughts? It’s the difference that sex isn’t a necessity, or that sex partners are people and thus you can’t demand a supply of them that meet your requirements?
OMG THIS GUY!!! Now I am getting his sob story about how busy he is and how he’s out of the country so he can’t get his hands on the materials he’d need to do it himself and he can give me another 12 hours to get it done (but oh, he forgot, he actually needs this other piece too…)
Since he stopped listening to a simple “no” I stopped answering, but that hasn’t stopped the messages…
How does that work anyway? I don’t understand. Isn’t the whole point of them calling themselves incel supposed to be that they want sex, but can’t find a sex partner?
That’s not hypocritical at all, for the very reasons you said. People deserve food, medical care, shelter, and water because they are required to live. Sex is a strong desire for a lot of people, but it is not essential to survival. And a person who can’t find a sex partner can masturbate. It might not be what they prefer, but at least it doesn’t turn their desire for sex into someone else’s obligation to provide sex.
“The George Zimmerman stuff is pissing me off… Seriously, all the pro Zimmerman people have to say is “it’s the liberal media, you’re all so PC that you’ve made it into a race issue, people get murdered all the time so why do you care about this?””
RAGGEEEE
I am currently avoiding seeking food because I just know I’ll be in for another round of how he was defending his neighborhood from a violent drug using gangster. Totally serious, and this is interspersed with rants about Obama inviting Russian troops in case of riots when the trial ends. And how that’s treason and an act of war and don’t for a second think…
[TRIGGER WARNING: RAPE]
…that they won’t gang rape Americans.
(Why is it always gang rape? Do they just like the word gang? Someone explain how being raped by 2+ people is some special class of rape, and more importantly, why it’s made out to be HORRIBAD…cuz uh…that just results in people *cough*Argenti like people*cough* being extra ashamed…)
And now I need food to continue working, and I WILL get this done today! (Oh, I said fuck it to converting categorical data to binary data and sorted it out for chi-squared analysis, we have more statistically significant things than I thought. Or rather, we don’t, while everyone else does…go go gadget accepting people!)
RE: katz
It’s the difference that sex isn’t a necessity, or that sex partners are people and thus you can’t demand a supply of them that meet your requirements?
Both. Also, in my experience, ANY housing is better than NO housing. I will take living in a closet over living on the street. I will take a shitty room filled with mold over living in a closet. Even dilapidated housing with awful rent and an evil landlord and no conveniences whatsoever is superior to no housing at all.
Sex is NOT like that. Abusive sex, in my experience, is WAY worse than no sex at all. Like, if I’d been giving the choice between the raping year and a year of teenage celibacy, let me tell you, I would’ve chose the celibacy in a heartbeat. Most people would, I’m sure. It’s not even a case of, “I don’t NEED sex,” it’s that sex can be so awful that it’s worse than nothing.
That’s something a lot of these ‘incels’ don’t seem to understand. They just seem to assume that any sex is better than no sex, and assume that even rape is better than celibacy. (I actually have encountered one of those guys. Needless to say, when he tried comparing his bachelorhood to my raping year, I told him that with an attitude like that, I couldn’t FATHOM why he was still single and unlaid.)
So the two things are entirely incomparable. They’re trying to pretend sex and basic needs are required. When really, maybe love and companionship are needed for health (but nobody’s obligated to hang out with you if you’re horrible) but sex? No. Not at all.
I guess I am currently an involuntarily celibate since I would love to have a committed partner making passionate love to me on a regular basis. But I do not find this condition terrible, and have many other things to be happy about.
Yeah, I’d like to eat ice cream every day for lunch and not have to spend extra time on the treadmill for it, but I can tell the difference between “wouldn’t it be cool if” and “omg, I’m gonna die if.” Everyone wants things all their own way and everyone eventually has to grow up and realize that the world doesn’t work that way.
Or, you know, not. But being petulant doesn’t make them more likely to get laid.
I like the analogy, actually. Only I think it’s more like choosing between decent housing that may not have the turret and hot tub and walk in closets you would love in your heart of hearts, and living on the lawn in a leaky tent out of spite and yelling about how horrible it is that your landlord didn’t give you a jacuzzi in your little rent controlled studio.
These guys aren’t metaphorically homeless, they are just not able to have the flash west side mansions they want but don’t have to work for.
Ok.. the Popehat thread has been redeemed. A guy gave a great definition of creepy:
I am going to save that, it’s hella useful.
I like it. Succinct and focused on the behavior in a way that will hopefully short circuit the whole “it’s just a cover for saying ‘unattractive guy'” bullshit.
RE: pecunium
Hmmm. I myself am a little uncertain about the ‘unaware’ bit. I’ve known some people who’re hella awkward, but they’ve always given me different vibes than the creepy. (Obviously, it’s sometimes difficult to make that judgment call, when you don’t know someone well.) What do other Boobzers think?
RE: gillyrosebee
Exactly. And you know, if you count the raping year as sexual activity, I was celibate for a couple years before meeting hubby. (And then we had to spend ANOTHER three years or so slowly defusing triggers so I could just have sex, instead of it turning into a horrible opera of pain and sobbing.) It is SOOOO not comparable to my housing situation.
Maybe if one of those houses were haunted by Freddy Kreuger and Michael Myers, maybe then they would have an argument to fall back on…
Nope. They are still talking out of their asses.
LBT, while all pain is unique, I have had some similar experiences and similar difficulties working back from them. All the love and hugs if you want them.
Some brain bleach
I like that definition a lot. I need a way to save it in my memory, since its useful, and I know I’ll forget it. My memory is crappy.
LBT, I think unaware is good. Like a lot of Americans are creeped out by how the French kiss each others cheeks for a greeting. If a French person didnt know better and kissed an American like that, the American would still be creeped out, even if they know the French person didnt know any better.
RE: auggziliary
Ah, that’s true. That makes sense. (And we actually have French neighbors. Apparently one of our roommates taught the guy the concept of the ‘brohug.’ He apparently found this as mystifying as US men find the kissing.)
LBT, haha, that’s kind of cute.
I’ve never met a French person. Well actually I did see a French couple fighting in the grocery store once, but I don’t think that counts. I was in aw listening to them, since I am fascinated by different cultures, and rarely see foreigners.
I’ve heard they’re kind of sassy though, so maybe they weren’t fighting.
Maybe split the definiton? So disregarding what makes someone uncomfortable is being intentionally creepy, and being unaware is accidentally creepy?
RE: auggziliary
There are plenty of people who speak French in my area–though I think most of them are from Haiti, and are actually speaking Haitian Creole. The neighbors I do know to be from France, though. They seem to be very nice people, very friendly. I don’t know them very well.
Good news from Calif: Trans kids to get to choose restrooms/what team to play on K-12
I think it’s useful: It’s not a moral judgement. It’s an explanation of what makes the action creepy. Motive us independent. One can be uncaring without fell intent.
But it moves it to behavior, not “ooh… s/he doesn’t like him; there’s no, “schving!”
LBT: I’ll be moving to Missoula, MT to start grad school, uh, tomorrow. Everyone I’ve ever talked to has had nothing but praise for the scenic beauty and progressive-arty-college-town-ness of Missoula. I’m not sure what my living situation will be like yet, but you’re welcome to crash on my couch if I have a couch.