Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
Argenti: I have been. And some here.
Slow Lorises are always a help.
I was just reading Ursula Vernon on Being an ally is freaky as hell and was struck (in part because of the convo at Popehat: I’m gonna be awhile digesting that), by a comment in it:
Cassandra – that’s one of the things I like about this space: it is inclusive and people are much more accepting, overall, as far as I can see (granted I’m speaking from white-cis-more-or-less-het privilege). I was worried about telling what my marital situation is for a good while, but when LBT talked about zir life – or lives, you lot! 🙂 – it was a great relief, ‘cos LBT was already well established and liked here, and it was obvious people knew zir situation.
So cheers for Manboobz, I say. I know it’s had plenty of grief, like the exodus a while back, so it obviously hasn’t worked for some people, which sucks. But here and now it’s a place I really like being.
You’re all expected to be in Chicago next year, dammit! Manboobz meetup for the win!
That’s a good comment, Pecunium. It pretty much describes how Manboobz seems to me.
Kitteh, Yeah. I know it. I wish I didn’t. I ..prefer to ignore it because it makes me feel much better to believe people don’t understand the indirect no is a no… That helps, a little. Sometimes.
And I think manboobz is a great place to be. For my time lurking and reading and commenting I think it’s a pretty great internet community.
Seconding SittieKitty. ManBoobz and Feministe are my favorite social justice spaces on the internet. You folks are awesome. ^_^
Pecunium, you know this already, but that’s why this was the first place I was really “out” with people who I wasn’t 1) already friendly with and 2) already sure had trans* 101 under there belt.
Cuz y’all have #2 covered, or, at least, are willing to learn stuff, and are clearly Not Okay with people bashing other people, so I was willing to risk #1.
We need that “not a safe space” note to have a footnote that “the folks here will not tolerate your shit, please check your bigotry at the door”
@LBT I know it’s where you’re leaving from, but if you need a place to stay in Boston, I could likely house you for a bit (I’d have to run it by my partner, of course). Also, I know someone who could probably hook you up with the freegan scene around here. At the very least, they could tell you where to go dumpster diving or get a meal, and they know some radical co-ops that would be happy to house you in exchange for labor (or did know, before they left for Portland).
You might also benefit from Steal This Wiki, particularly the survival section – but not having put it to the test, I can’t vouch for its usefulness.
It’s weird and interesting how internet communities form. For example, Jezebel and XOJane have basically the same theme, right? And yet while Jezebel isn’t a feminist site it’s feminist-friendly enough in the comments that I don’t spend all day banging my head against the wall, whereas the comments on XOJane make me despair for the future of humanity.
I just hope that people who’ve had to put up with this pretence from predatory/creepy/stupid men read this stuff, here or on Yes Means Yes or Captain Awkward or wherever, and are strengthened by it. I hope it means someone, somewhere doesn’t fall for that shit any more, and have the confidence to see it for what it is and to call these dudes on it. Wishful thinking if person doesn’t have backup from their peers, I know, but I’d really like to think someone can say “Don’t pull that bullshit on me, you know I’m not interested, fuck off,” where they couldn’t/didn’t before. One can dream.
It just struck me how funny it’d be if Obtruding Fistula tried swanning around at Captain Awkward. He’d get his sorry rape-apologist arse kicked out soooo fast …
Obsidian was actually a good object lesson in how relentless guys with that attitude are, and how completely unwilling to take women’s perspectives into account. I feel like reading him going on about how his need to get his dick wet is more important than anything else over and over again might help people understand that there’s no point trying to reason or compromise with people like that, you just have to tell them to get lost.
Yeah, he was a good example of a totally self-centred shithead. I didn’t even read his walls o’ text, they were disgusting and boring, a bad combination. Probably just like their writer. Can you imagine how unbearably DULL and tedious and DULL this guy would be to talk to? Or rather, be talked at, since he’d never stfu.
In a way I want to laugh at all the “must get my dick wet!” idiots. It’s far enough from my world that *when it’s combined with douchebaggery*, I go into supercilious “Oh, you sad pathetic little man, is your life so very empty and dreary that the sensation of ejaculating in someone else’s body is all there is?” NB I don’t for a minute believe the “I’m so lonely” cries from some of these clowns: it’s not about wanting to spend time with a partner, to do things together, to share interests, affection, and so on. It’s all about shove it in her and come.
So, I took that comment I made here,and expanded it a bit; On “fighting the good fight”
It’s the “surely everyone must see that this is the greatest social issue of our age” bit that amuses me. No, dude, that’s just you.
Yup, privilege on legs. Or, alas, on keyboardzzzzzzzzz.
It’s such entitlement bullshit. People like that actually think that it’s a hardship if someone can’t have sex. I don’t get it. If someone can’t have sex with the people they want to… I guess I’m empathetic enough that I could feel bad for the emotional hurt that can present, but I still think it’s too bad for them. They aren’t entitled to anyone else’s time, body, or emotional commitment.
“People like that actually think that it’s a hardship if
someonecis heterosexual men can’t have sex.”In earthly terms I’ve never had sex, but I don’t see bonerdroners© talking about how terrible it is for teh wimminz to go without. But oh, of course, we’re all magically having sex with the same half-dozen alphas all the time, or those other men who front up for the women who can “get laid whenever they want” but who somehow manage not to be the poor bonerdroners© even though bonerdroners© are, like, 99% of all men, amirite?
God, that hurt to write, even without all the copyright symbols.
I just plain don’t get it, like, I’ve had things resembling sexytimes, oh, twice in um, 6 years? (This is what happens when the only person you trust like that is 500 miles away, and oh we’ll, that’s what sexy emails are for!)
So yeah, how in the world is “must have sex with someone” more important than “must not make people uncomfortable cuz then they won’t be friendly with me (and hey, I can get my own rocks off later)”
Straight up does not compute (and go on, tell me I should join a monastery, I find it funny at this point!)
Seconded, Argenti, seconded!
Nah, you don’t want to join a monastery. You wouldn’t look good with a tonsure.
Drafty places, monasteries. I wouldn’t recommend it.
I feel so much better. The Fishhead is all upset that I’m calling him out. He’s this close to calling me a moral cretin. He’s said I don’t care about the innocent (men), and he never saw anyone excusing. “the socially inept”, and having harassment policies will make it terrible.
After all, there is inadequate sanction now, and lots of harassment goes unreported, but there are people who didn’t actually harass, so we can’t work on fixing the first two, it would be unfair.
To the menz. The innocent women being harassed… totes their own fault,they didn’t say no clearly enough.
And he thinks my disregard for him is careless.
My fish store guy in Pittsburgh bred piranhas if you need something to nibble on him. (They are ADORABLE when they’re small btw)
In LESS random things, I think I sorted my chart problem, sorta. (For the chi squares, which is the harder set as they don’t really have the graphability correlations do)
I don’t want someone to nibble him. I want him to have the brilliant flash of insight and revelatory understanding which comes of being hit upside the head with the Loving ClueXFour of Understanding.
But that would require him to be able to look at what he’s written, admit he wrote it, comprehend it’s content and feel shame.
In short, he’d have to turn into both an honest, and a decent, human being. It seems unlikely.
pecunium, I suspect your disregard for him is, in fact, quite careful!
And yeah, Kitteh, I was trying to be inclusive, but I agree, these people don’t give a shit about anyone but cis straight men.
Gah, Pecunium, I just took a glance at the latter parts of that thread. Willful cluelessness rampant, and that’s putting it kindly. Gobshites galore.
SittieKitty – inclusiveness is MISANDRY!
SittieKitty: got it in one.
He’s Steele’s level of obstuse, Brandon’s level of tedious (if Brandon were on the Steroids of Tedium: I mean it, he makes Brandon look downright interesting, and clever with words), Mellerish sorts of creepy disregard for women as agents, and a level of sly dishonesty I can’t attach to anyone.
All, of course, with a tone of Genteel Civility, which poorly masks a petulant dislike, and vague implications of insecurity in his own abilities. That last is the only inkling of self-awareness, he hides it with a pompous style; made the more irksome by the terrible habit of jambing his replies up against the quoted material, so they are jarring in the discontinuity of thought.
He then goes on to deny that these enjambed ideas are actually related. Seeing no irony is declaring this a failure of comprehension, and willful misinterpretation on the part of those who thought they did relate.
He sets a new bar.