Like a lot of people in the US of A, I am taking a long weekend. Posting may be a little light for a bit. So here’s an open thread for everyone else taking a long weekend. Or not. Use this thread for anything that’s not personal. Like misogyny, politics, kitties, you know the drill. (Though kitties are welcome in all threads, of course.)
I am hoping my long weekend turns out a bit better than that of the people in the Australian movie of that name from 1978, which I keep meaning to see. Apparently their little beach vacation doesn’t go so well, and they are attacked by … nature? At one point, I believe, they face off against an enraged dugong. (No, really.) The movie was recently remade, but apparently the remake wasn’t as good.
Stay tuned for more reviews of movies I haven’t seen and that I’m just giving vague impressions of based on things I’ve heard somewhere.
Even without the alienation, identity politics (or just groups) can be inadvertently alienating, I think, if you don’t feel like you fit the description, or perhaps prescription. Minor example: I quit reading the Aven forums after a very little while, because the whole asexuality thing just wasn’t how I saw myself (plus the I found the terms grey-a and demisexual obscurely irritating).
Ceiling cat — 62
Basement cat — 34
Great furred ones — 17
Am not calculating cross over unless you guys really want to know!
“Even without the [deliberate] alienation, identity politics (or just groups) can be inadvertently
alienatingoff-putting, I think,”Argh. Wrods, I rite them gud.
ALL HAIL FURRED GODS OF WHATEVER VARIETY
memo to self: must think up pithier catchphrase
Yeah, it took a lot of words to get to his true self–a victim blaming asshole. That reeked of so much privilege, I almost passed out from the fumes.
SittieKitty: Did you literally just blame me for any future crimes he commits?
Yes, he did. I wish he wasn’t the only fuckmuppet to pull that shit. I had to deal with a guy who was being more egregious with it (because he was using her “putting her safety above that of others) to try and prove that women who don’t “give a complete, and unequivocal NO” are therefore actually consenting.
Let’s just say I was less than gentle with him. But he’s the dude who is also the most tedious commenter I have ever seen online (which is saying a lot).
He said that because he can. He’s lashing out to hurt you. He knows it will do that. There’s no shame in it, not for you.
A decent human being wouldn’t have done it. Then again, a decent human being wouldn’t be a huge proponent of Game.
Ad I’m done with the disability v feeling accepted data. You all
suckrock. After having to change my damned method for the first time in, um, 30 tests, y’all remain in the “these groups feel equally accepted” or “the minority group feel more accepted” (note that more accepted doesn’t mean the majority group doesn’t feel accepted)…nor, for that matter does the reverse — which is why I’ve been eyeballing the results!)RE: Kittehserf
It’s okay. It was a valuable object lesson, I think, in how toxic dynamics in a very small, insular community can be. And don’t get me wrong, I made many beloved plural friends from that time who’re still my friends today. It just forced me to grow up a bit and realize that my community was just as flawed and vicious as any other.
I admit that the word ‘demisexual’ was very valuable for me, but that’s because the only other words I had for how I behaved were ‘frigid’ and ‘impotent.’ I have ace and Gray-A friends, but I’ve not been in the ace community much. (I hear the fight du jour over there is between ace and gray-A over there. NO PATIENCE.)
RE: Ally S
Oh, don’t even get me STARTED on movement atheism. Ugh.
I guess my main critique of identity politics are that they’re not intersectional ENOUGH. It’s fine if you’re JUST gay, or JUST kinky, but once you start mixing other shit in–you’re gay AND black, you’re an atheist AND working class–you’ll get the exact same shit, in a different flavor.
Oh holy… WTF?!?
SittieKitty, I don’t even know what to say.
http://thedesigninspiration.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/cute-animals/baby01.jpg
I’ll add my hope that Oblivious Fucknut gets a permaban upgrade.
Yeah, on that intersectional note, my brain and mac may regret saying this, but any pairs you want me to run against the acceptance data?
I’m for banning the disingenous sack of four-day old snake puke.
Glad to hear that, LBT.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying the terms demisexual or grey-A are ghastly or shouldn’t be used or anything, just that they don’t appeal to me. They have a sort of glass-half-empty feel *for me*. Sure as hell better than frigid or impotent or any of those gross terms, though!
Plus demisexual makes me think of demitasse or Demi Moore, and grey-A makes me think of hair needing colouring (is it that time of month again already?).
Skeptical Sexist Bingo (since the massive Enema Wash brought up Ev-Psych)
http://greaterthanlapsed.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/skepticalsexistbingo.jpg
@LBT
Honestly, I’m shocked to hear what you have to say, even though I believe you. I thought that third-wave feminism’s inclusion of intersectionality recently exited its premature stage i.e. I thought that full, genuine intersectionality was almost a given among social justice folks. And I thought that as a trans* girl. What a damn shame.
Argenti, how many trans* women feel accepted by this place?
Hmm…there aren’t very many of you, but if I collapse the agree side and disagree side…give me a minute.
I ran collapsed cis men/women v everyone else, and both cis men v not them or cis women and cis women v not them or cis men — they produce slightly different results for general acceptance and by peers but no difference here. But let me try it with just trans* women versus cis men/women (there’s no difference between the two in acceptance here, but I can run versus cis women if you’d prefer?)
Sure, cis women. I think this place is very welcoming for trans* women (I mean, I’m only speaking for myself in a way, but that’s how I see things so far), but I’m interested in hearing the statistics of MB acceptance compared to cis women.
Thanks pecunium, gillyrosebee. I mean, I’ve heard it before, it’s a pretty freaking common victim-blaming trope, but still… It’s seriously just such an awful thing to say to someone. I don’t know how people can think that reporting something helps prevent future victims without a single thought given toward how that affects current victims, how shitty trying to report shit is. It’s just so beyond me.
Oooooh! Mememememe! I have only the most rudimentary, seat of the pants statistics comprehension, and would appreciate the opportunity to understand better!
Me too. That I had to deal with watching it twice in one day… angry making. To the point of having to get Argenti to second look a comment I was already having concerns about (because it might have looked as if I was dismissing the feelings of a rape victim: I’m still half expecting someone to accuse me of not giving him the same treatment I would a woman who was raped, but I can’t help that).
I’m sorry he chose to do it. I suppose I’m glad he did it here, where you have some support.
That’s still a cold comfort.
Agreed. But remember, it is much more important that he tell the TRUTH, no matter how much it hurts (actually, I’m convinced there’s a bonus in it for him if he does hurt someone). He’s just misunderstood, you know? And it’s really not fair at all for us to expect him to show empathy or basic human decency to someone whose attractiveness he has not had the opportunity to properly evaluate and rate for fuckability.
Moreover, aside from the book “The Rules” Women have long had certain “rules” they employed on Men to get whatever they wanted out of them; they don’t call it “feminine wiles” for nothing. Studies have shown that Women can and will use their sex appeal to gain favors from Men that they had no intention of sleeping with; some Women will even use their sex appeal to get dinners and nights out on the town and then abscond toward the end of the evening.
I’m late to this party, but this line of thinking only makes sense if you believe that in going to dinner with a man a woman is ipso facto assenting to sex with him afterward.
Perhaps what women are “getting” out of dinner (those wiley minxes) is a chance to get to know someone better in order to determine whether they’d make a suitable sexual or romantic. Can’t imagine why women abscond at the end of a date with you, Obsidian.
^wily
RE: Ally S
I thought that full, genuine intersectionality was almost a given among social justice folks.
Lolz. No. In my experience, they are SOOOOO not. At best, I’ve seen folks who talk big, and yet are so perplexed as to why they seem entirely made up of white college-educated folks. Like, I really hope I’m wrong, just because I hate being this jaded, but… no.