When I bring up the subject of cats on this blog, as I so often do, it’s party because, well, I’m a bit of a fan. But it’s also because I know it confuses and irritates the misogynists who read this blog, inveterate cat-haters all (or almost all). I’ve never quite understood the depth of the animosity the guys in the manosphere seem to have towards cats.
But now one of these cat haters has provided us with a theoretical explanation for his catphobia. In a post with the suggestive title “Limp-Wristed Cat Lovers, Beautiful Dog Lovers,” the guy behind the PUA blog LaidInNYC explains why real men — and real women — hate cats and love dogs instead.
Dogs are loyal, obedient, and affectionate.
Masculine men love these qualities in our companions, and they are qualities we want in our women as well.
Cats are selfish, independent, and alpha.
Masculine men hate these qualities in our companions. This is because masculine men are the owners, not the owned.
Huh. It’s weird how these descriptions of “alpha males” often read like confessions of massive insecurity. So “masculine men” are so insecure they can’t stand being challenged even by their pets? They’re so threatened by the independence of other creatures that they can’t tolerate a pet that might sometimes wander off into another room to take a nap?
But according to Mr. LaidInNYC, it’s the cat-loving dudes who are the sissies:
95% of men who love cats are either gay or have sub fantasies*. If you like cats, you like not being in control.
Well, all except for a small-percentage of super-alpha dudes who are so manly they can tame even the mighty housecat:
There are a small percentage of straight alpha seducers that like to own cats. The reason is they love dominating an already dominant living thing. They like to stare down and dominate their cats just because they can.
Welcome to my world.
Well, ok, sometimes the cats stare me down.
But what about the women? If masculine men love dogs, shouldn’t feminine women love cats? Then why do manosphere dudes so regularly hurl abuse on women with cats?
Well, LaidInNYC has an answer for that: it turns out that truly feminine women actually prefer dogs to cats, but for a totally different reason than men.
While men love the loyalty and obedience, girls are much more likely to coo over a dogs unconditional love, furry cuddles, and “look how cute he looks when he does that thing with his paw” type stuff.
Feminine girls love their dogs but they don’t enjoy training them, letting them run in an open field and feeling pride when the dog comes right back when called, punishing them when necessary, etc. …
Most of the feminine dog lovers I know already have strong male dominance types in their life, be it a strong father, boyfriend, or husband, and they just like the dog as another source of love. … cats are superfluous when you have a man to obey.
It’s a different story indeed for “the masculine, ugly, old, short-haired, barren feminists who end up being cat ladies.”
Ugly masculine girls, on the other hand, cannot find a male to dominate them in their social life because they lack the beauty. Since being dominated by a strong independent entity who doesn’t need her is so important to a woman, she must seek out that domination. Ugly girls find this in either a career, feminism, cats, or some combination of the three.
A job, a cat, some feminism: the holy trinity of MISANDRY.
I’m not not exactly sure how any of these things “dominate” women, but since Mr. LaidInNYC doesn’t actually seem to know anything about anything, I guess I’ll let that one slide.
In the meantime, I would like to treat you all to pictures of some of the evil independent creatures that make alpha males tremble in fear:
When I get home from work, Sekhmet meets me at the door and follows me around, meowing, until I give her sufficient personalized attention. Later she might insist upon playing chase. She mostly likes to chase me, but sometimes she invites me to chase her.
Lately she’s gotten into the habit of snuggling alongside me in bed, planting her nose in my inner elbow, and kneading the HELL out of my arm, all while purring at about the volume of a Space Shuttle launch. Try sleeping under those conditions, I dare you.
Horse people: I met a guy at a party in college who insisted that all women who have horses are lesbians. He had a whole theory about it, but it was so boring that I’ve forgotten the theory and just retain the amusing memory of what this one asshat thought about women who like horses.
S’funny… dogs require more work/attention than cats; what makes them less, “alpha” in terms of tying up time/attention. They need more than cats do.
Cloudiah, I think I already know the theory… (Does it involve jokes about lesbians needing to compensate for the lack of males in their sex life?)
My kitty is sleeping on my feet right now. That is all.
I have a job and some feminism but no cat so I only have two out of the three of the trinity of great misandry.
I fail as a Feminist, can someone mail me an emergency kitteh?
RE: cloudiah
…seriously? That’s just. Uh. I thought that something like 60% of the female population went through a ‘horse’ phase. (Except us. We went through a dog phase. But we did learn how to ride a horse, and some simple trick riding!)
Frankly I don’t get this absolute obsession they have with imagined animal social hierarchies. After all, most of the associations they’re making come from old and flawed understandings of wolves; which even before the changes in understanding were a bad example due to their very small social groups.
*sigh*
Yes, I know. Expecting good science from an MRA is like expecting it from a creationist.
Now even domesticated felines can fit the definition of “alpha”? I needed to laugh today. Thanks, Dave, for curating this stuff for us.
This reminds me of an article I read some time ago. There’s a very good feminist Brazilian blogger called Aline Valek who wrote sometime ago a very interesting article called, roughly translating “Cats are women who don’t give themselves to respect”.
I would love to translate this article someday, although it talks about an expression that is hard to translate. (I have translated as ” give oneself to respect”, meaning someone who acts in such a way in order to gain respect). People here love to say that women have to “give themselves to respect” and if they don’t, they basically… don’t deserve respect or anything really.
Valek talks about how cats’ independent nature can be as upsetting to some people as the idea of women’s independence. I thought it was very interesting.
http://www.alinevalek.com.br/blog/2013/02/gatos-sao-mulheres-que-nao-se-dao-ao-respeito/
Jayem Griffin: IME people who keep/work with horses are sensitive, and caring. They are good at knowing what they want, and comfortably confident (not surprising, when you look at the mass of the animals they control). They are fearless. The are good in bed.
They are ALPHA!
augzilliary, It was more complicated than that and was not openly homophobic, but more than that I really don’t remember. I just remember that at some point he left, and then the rest of us were talking about his weird theory and laughing.
There may have been alcohol involved, and possibly smoking some funny cigarettes.
Sensitivity and caring are BETA. Confidence and fearlessness are MISANDRY. Predominantly female environments (with crops/leather) are LESBIAN, and therefore probably also MISANDRY.
Evidence seems to point towards MISANDRY. I’m not surprised. Especially when you consider geldings…
My little brother, gun enthusiast and libertarian (but with a good heart) adores cats. No wonder my other two brothers can’t stand him.
Oh the GELDING, yes — that was totally a factor in his theory of LESBIAN HORSEWOMEN. It’s starting to come back to me.
I would have loved to have been a horse person, even though I’m not a lesbian, because I used to love riding so much. I wonder if I could have gotten some kind of special dispensation from the LESBIAN OVERLADIES to allow me into the club?
You might be a real man if: even the presence of furry kittiea throws you into a profound masculine identity crisis and an existential funk that can only be cured by assuring people on the internet that you in no way condone cat ownership.
Dear god, this.
RE: cloudiah
What is it with men who seem to believe lesbians have nothing more entertaining to do than castrate men? I don’t see them assuming gay men want to mutilate women!
cloudiah, I shall consult the Barn Goddesses on your behalf… They say it’s okay, as long as you bring sugar cubes, only keep stallions for breeding purposes, and allow the kittehs to hunt mice in the hayloft. Oh, and you have to hate men.
My mom always told me “never trust a man who doesn’t like cats, because you can pretty much guarantee he also hates women.” I don’t know how she came to this conclusion, but through years of observation I’ve come to believe it is true — and MRAs just iced the cake on that bit of folk wisdom for me. Hats off to Mama Ferrets for being ahead of the curve!
(My mom also used to tell me “never date a man, they’re no good for you.” That too is a conclusion I’ve independently verified. However, at first she didn’t really like the idea of me dating women either, so we had some interpersonal problems for a while. She’s pretty much over it now, thankfully.)
Thanks, Jayem. I’m going to Costco for the sugar cubes now.
LBT, that’s because castration would “prevent” intercourse with a man, where mutilation of a vagina would not (necessarily) do the same… and it’s all about what penises can penetrate with these people.
@cloudiah: I’ve actually heard that one, too. Maybe it’s because horses are connected to farms, and farmwork is “men’s work,” so…That’s the best I got. I’ve always been perplexed by lesbian stereotypes – someday, someone has to explain why a woman who plays golf is assumed to be gay.
Plus, no one cares about “taking power” away from women, but if you “take power” (castration) away from men then it’s a big deal.
Regarding horses and the fact that “alpha” men having trouble distinguishing “pleasure” from “punishment (aka, abuse)”: see my entire experiences on the back of the racetrack. Never mind that I could get amazing results just by being kind and gentle to the animals — these wannabe-cowboys insisted the only way to do things was by being rough and instilling “the fear of god” into the horses. They laughed at me for being a sissy pansy who didn’t want to hurt an animal.
Of course, the horses often got the last laugh when they’d had enough mistreatment, given that they were five or ten times our size and had four solid hooves apiece. But as with women, animals who end up lashing back out of self-defense are not exactly rewarded. (MRAs’ half-baked ideas of what happens to women legally when they kill or injure men in self-defense are, of course, straight out of Assfax Opposite Land.)
Which is why my life’s dream is to operate an equine rescue sanctuary and staff it with other abuse survivors who’ve moved past the “fight back” stage of trauma assimilation. It’s incredible and some people don’t believe it when they hear it, but animals can tell when another creature has something in common with them and it can create a mutually beneficial relationship. Surely this won’t come as a surprise to most anyone here.
Along those lines: if any fellow USians are west of the Mississippi, have experience with ex-racers, and are looking for a good companion- or light-riding horse, I might have a lead for you …