But if she’s not, then she’s not, and that’s what’s right for her. Don’t let people start Poly Douchebag Maneuver Alpha and start up with how she’s “closed minded” or “prudish” or “still thinks of people as possessions” or “not transcended her jealousy yet”. Anyone who starts with any of that should be kicked to the curb post-haste.
All this talk is making me realize that while my friends seem to be more and more non-monogamous these days, I really don’t know very much about the specifics regarding MAKING a poly relationship. So this is educational for me!
I have a story from tonight. Sorry I have nothing to contribute about poly, but I am reading and learning from everyone else’s posts.
Anyway, tonight I attended a political meeting at a bar. Some guy at the bar was just staring at me for a long time and making me uncomfortable. I tried not to notice, but the other people in my group noticed. Anyway, I got my food wrapped up to go while everyone else paid their tabs. I sent my tab and money with the bartender while everyone left. I still had to wait to get change and give a tip. So the guy walks over to me and says “So, missy, are you all alone now?” I thought that was a creepy line and I told him “I am LEAVING RIGHT NOW” in the most assertive voice I could give. I ran over to the bartender, gave the tip, and got out of there.
Is that some kind of new PUA tactic, to scare women or something?
For the last week or so I’ve been having some “lady symptoms” (don’t mean to be prudish but I know some people get squicked easy and I don’t want to ruin anyone’s dinner) and took myself to the health centre today to get it checked out. I was sure it was BV and I needed some antibiotics. Upon examination, my hypothesis was rejected. There was a forgotten tampon lodged behind my cervix.
And yeah, enough of the poly supremacists claiming they’re more evolved than monogamously oriented people.
1) The Pirate Kitty is a fine Pirate Kitty.
2) That guy was super creepy.
3) I did not know a forgotten tampon could be a thing.
As for open relationships, while I am King of the “Poly People Can Be Annoying” Parade, I am all in favour of structuring your relationships in whatever way works for you and the people you’re involved with. Are you happy? Are your needs being met? Are you respecting the people you’re involved with and treating them as people who have their own boundaries and needs rather than as adjuncts to your wants, needs, and ideas of a relationship? Yay! You’re doing it right, as far as I’m concerned. (No matter how many people may or may not be involved.)
lightcastle – it’s the old evangelism thing, isn’t it? It’s not enough for some people who’re fine and happy with their arrangements (whether we’re talking relationships or tastes in food or whatever), they have to tell everyone who does it differently and is also fine and happy and not imposing on anyone that they’re doin’ it RONG.
lightcastle
11 years ago
Yup. The Evangelism thing bugs me no end. (Poly or Kink, which are the two groups that have probably annoyed me the most with it.)
I’m really glad the only people I know involved in either are Manboobzers, because nobody here does that evangelism thing. Apart from the general principle, being pushed wrt those matters just gives me squick-rage.
CassandraSays
11 years ago
Random – today I saw a young woman with the coolest tattoo ever. It was a lower back tattoo, but quite unlike any I’ve ever seen there before. Basically it was of a hand holding up the middle finger, and the text above it said “Fuck You”. Now there’s a clear, concise answer to any dude who’s ever referred to tattoos in that area as “tramp stamps”.
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago
You’re in the wrong thread, that’s utterly on topic in the newest one (no, really, please post it there?)
I got the results of the second inflammation blood test today. From being 76 a couple-three weeks back (normal range is 5-25), it was down to 7 today. Yes, seven. I can only guess it was so damn high purely because of the referred pain and consequent inflammation from my knee.
But, since this sort of thing is never straightforward, the GGT reading (to do with liver enzymes) has doubled. So, now I have to get a liver ultrasound.
Had a laugh though: in the referral letter my doc says I “do not dirnk alcohol”. Which is perfectly true. I’ve never dirnked alcohol in my life. I wouldn’t know how to dirnk alcohol.
(I don’t drink it, either.)
Fi
11 years ago
Congratulations… and commiserations. It’s always swings and bloody roundabouts with medical stuff, ain’t it?
Dirnking sounds like dirty dunking or something. Like when you try the Tim Tam trick but the whole thing dissolves in your cup. Or some weird party trick the kids are all supposed to be doing and the olds are all freaked out about.
BigMomma
11 years ago
hi guys, thanks for all your comments, i passed the link to this page to my friend and she was very touched by all the time you took to comment. what you had to say…it really connected with how she was feeling and validated her gut reactions. she has actually told The Guy it’s over and I think she means it. She didn’t dump him because of what you said, it happened before I passed on the link, but your advice has made her feel like she made the right decision.
@lightcastle, I’ m sorry for lumping non-monogamous in with poly, i knew the 2 were different but was unsure of where my friend’s relationship was heading. Apologies.
@BigMomma
Good news (I will assume good news until otherwise told.)
As for the non-monogamous vs poly thing, no worries. It’s kind of a personal bugaboo for me, but most people just find it easier to use as short-hand. And, to be fair, people don’t like defining themselves by what they are not; most far prefer to claim an identity. (Hell, I sometimes distinguish between “poly” – small p – as a descriptor and “Poly” – capital P – as the identity/philosophical position/etc.)
If you ever want to read up on this sort of thing, I am fond of “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino, which basically just surveyed the many different ways people construct relationships. (Poly and Swinger being the 2 800-pound gorillas in the room that tend to swallow up everyone else’s identities.)
I want to know who identifies as Roly Poly. It sounds more fun than getting squished by gorillas.
I liked Rogan’s “uber mono” description yesterday. That’s pretty much me, too. Total mono, single-target, no-sorry-he’s-the-living-one-and-youse-might-as-well-be-ghosts-pantsfeelingwise, him-directed … all of the above. 🙂
thebionicmommy
11 years ago
This is kind of trivial but I was wondering others’ opinions. The other day, the Globe had a story about Tracy Lawrence writing a song in tribute of Joplin, called Butterfly. If you want to hear him describe the back story and sing it a bit, here is the link
I know this might sound nitpicky of me, but he got some facts wrong and I don’t know if that’s tacky of him or not. For instance, he said “Joplin tornadoes” even though there was only one, as long as we’re talking just about May 22 and not the one that happened way back in 1971. He also said it had a path “two miles wide”, but really it ranged from 3/4 a mile to one mile wide max. The one in El Reno was 2 miles wide, but not Joplin. I don’t know. I think when he’s writing about it, he could have at least looked up the basic facts on wikipedia first. It only takes ten minutes to do some Internet research.
And the other thing I wonder is tacky is he never mentions donating any proceeds to long term recovery or the public works projects, like rebuilding our schools or anything. I understand if an artist wants to make money off of his song, but I think that if he makes a song based on an event, it looks better to give a little back to the people whose tragedy inspired the song. Or donate some money to the next disaster victims that need help.
Tracy Lawrence wrote the song himself, and he seems heartfelt about caring about Joplin, so I’m not trying to bash him or anything. He was a big star in the early 90’s and now he’s trying to do a comeback so I honestly hope he can be successful. I just wonder if he could have done it in a better way.
We Hunted The Mammoth
That!
Am I the only person seeing a parrot every time Pol[l]y is on the screen now?
Probably Raucous Douchebag Pirate Polly, too.
It totally took me a second to process that, kittehserf. I was all, “Is there someone with a user name “Pirate Poly” whose gravatar is a parrot?”
It is possible I am very tired and my brain has gone squishy.
All this talk is making me realize that while my friends seem to be more and more non-monogamous these days, I really don’t know very much about the specifics regarding MAKING a poly relationship. So this is educational for me!
You mean like this?
I have a story from tonight. Sorry I have nothing to contribute about poly, but I am reading and learning from everyone else’s posts.
Anyway, tonight I attended a political meeting at a bar. Some guy at the bar was just staring at me for a long time and making me uncomfortable. I tried not to notice, but the other people in my group noticed. Anyway, I got my food wrapped up to go while everyone else paid their tabs. I sent my tab and money with the bartender while everyone left. I still had to wait to get change and give a tip. So the guy walks over to me and says “So, missy, are you all alone now?” I thought that was a creepy line and I told him “I am LEAVING RIGHT NOW” in the most assertive voice I could give. I ran over to the bartender, gave the tip, and got out of there.
Is that some kind of new PUA tactic, to scare women or something?
Oh, fuck, thebionicmommy, what a total creep. “How to sound like a predator in one easy lesson.”
Totally creepy. Ick.
Guys. Guys, I have a really embarrassing story.
For the last week or so I’ve been having some “lady symptoms” (don’t mean to be prudish but I know some people get squicked easy and I don’t want to ruin anyone’s dinner) and took myself to the health centre today to get it checked out. I was sure it was BV and I needed some antibiotics. Upon examination, my hypothesis was rejected. There was a forgotten tampon lodged behind my cervix.
And yeah, enough of the poly supremacists claiming they’re more evolved than monogamously oriented people.
Ow, ow, eek!
1) The Pirate Kitty is a fine Pirate Kitty.
2) That guy was super creepy.
3) I did not know a forgotten tampon could be a thing.
As for open relationships, while I am King of the “Poly People Can Be Annoying” Parade, I am all in favour of structuring your relationships in whatever way works for you and the people you’re involved with. Are you happy? Are your needs being met? Are you respecting the people you’re involved with and treating them as people who have their own boundaries and needs rather than as adjuncts to your wants, needs, and ideas of a relationship? Yay! You’re doing it right, as far as I’m concerned. (No matter how many people may or may not be involved.)
lightcastle – it’s the old evangelism thing, isn’t it? It’s not enough for some people who’re fine and happy with their arrangements (whether we’re talking relationships or tastes in food or whatever), they have to tell everyone who does it differently and is also fine and happy and not imposing on anyone that they’re doin’ it RONG.
Yup. The Evangelism thing bugs me no end. (Poly or Kink, which are the two groups that have probably annoyed me the most with it.)
I’m really glad the only people I know involved in either are Manboobzers, because nobody here does that evangelism thing. Apart from the general principle, being pushed wrt those matters just gives me squick-rage.
Random – today I saw a young woman with the coolest tattoo ever. It was a lower back tattoo, but quite unlike any I’ve ever seen there before. Basically it was of a hand holding up the middle finger, and the text above it said “Fuck You”. Now there’s a clear, concise answer to any dude who’s ever referred to tattoos in that area as “tramp stamps”.
You’re in the wrong thread, that’s utterly on topic in the newest one (no, really, please post it there?)
Health update!
I got the results of the second inflammation blood test today. From being 76 a couple-three weeks back (normal range is 5-25), it was down to 7 today. Yes, seven. I can only guess it was so damn high purely because of the referred pain and consequent inflammation from my knee.
But, since this sort of thing is never straightforward, the GGT reading (to do with liver enzymes) has doubled. So, now I have to get a liver ultrasound.
Had a laugh though: in the referral letter my doc says I “do not dirnk alcohol”. Which is perfectly true. I’ve never dirnked alcohol in my life. I wouldn’t know how to dirnk alcohol.
(I don’t drink it, either.)
Congratulations… and commiserations. It’s always swings and bloody roundabouts with medical stuff, ain’t it?
Dirnking sounds like dirty dunking or something. Like when you try the Tim Tam trick but the whole thing dissolves in your cup. Or some weird party trick the kids are all supposed to be doing and the olds are all freaked out about.
hi guys, thanks for all your comments, i passed the link to this page to my friend and she was very touched by all the time you took to comment. what you had to say…it really connected with how she was feeling and validated her gut reactions. she has actually told The Guy it’s over and I think she means it. She didn’t dump him because of what you said, it happened before I passed on the link, but your advice has made her feel like she made the right decision.
@lightcastle, I’ m sorry for lumping non-monogamous in with poly, i knew the 2 were different but was unsure of where my friend’s relationship was heading. Apologies.
That’s good news, BigMomma!
Fi – LOL or it could be “durn king” if I was having a folksy swear at Louis. 😛
Ah, the Tim Tam Slam. Only saw that once, when I told my then-boss about it and he tried it.
He dirnked his biscuit.
Say, if you know about that, does that mean you’re a fellow Aussie or New Zealander?
i was introduced to the Tim Tam Slam soon after we got here. Once was enough
More fun to watch than try, I think!
@BigMomma
Good news (I will assume good news until otherwise told.)
As for the non-monogamous vs poly thing, no worries. It’s kind of a personal bugaboo for me, but most people just find it easier to use as short-hand. And, to be fair, people don’t like defining themselves by what they are not; most far prefer to claim an identity. (Hell, I sometimes distinguish between “poly” – small p – as a descriptor and “Poly” – capital P – as the identity/philosophical position/etc.)
If you ever want to read up on this sort of thing, I am fond of “Opening Up” by Tristan Taormino, which basically just surveyed the many different ways people construct relationships. (Poly and Swinger being the 2 800-pound gorillas in the room that tend to swallow up everyone else’s identities.)
I want to know who identifies as Roly Poly. It sounds more fun than getting squished by gorillas.
I liked Rogan’s “uber mono” description yesterday. That’s pretty much me, too. Total mono, single-target, no-sorry-he’s-the-living-one-and-youse-might-as-well-be-ghosts-pantsfeelingwise, him-directed … all of the above. 🙂
This is kind of trivial but I was wondering others’ opinions. The other day, the Globe had a story about Tracy Lawrence writing a song in tribute of Joplin, called Butterfly. If you want to hear him describe the back story and sing it a bit, here is the link
I know this might sound nitpicky of me, but he got some facts wrong and I don’t know if that’s tacky of him or not. For instance, he said “Joplin tornadoes” even though there was only one, as long as we’re talking just about May 22 and not the one that happened way back in 1971. He also said it had a path “two miles wide”, but really it ranged from 3/4 a mile to one mile wide max. The one in El Reno was 2 miles wide, but not Joplin. I don’t know. I think when he’s writing about it, he could have at least looked up the basic facts on wikipedia first. It only takes ten minutes to do some Internet research.
And the other thing I wonder is tacky is he never mentions donating any proceeds to long term recovery or the public works projects, like rebuilding our schools or anything. I understand if an artist wants to make money off of his song, but I think that if he makes a song based on an event, it looks better to give a little back to the people whose tragedy inspired the song. Or donate some money to the next disaster victims that need help.
Tracy Lawrence wrote the song himself, and he seems heartfelt about caring about Joplin, so I’m not trying to bash him or anything. He was a big star in the early 90’s and now he’s trying to do a comeback so I honestly hope he can be successful. I just wonder if he could have done it in a better way.