Categories
off topic open thread

Open Thread for Personal Stuff, Part Deux

Hugs if you want them.
Hugs if you want them.

An open thread to discuss personal stuff, continued from here.

No trolls, no arguments.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

615 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Kittehserf
7 years ago

Do I get in first?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

YESSSSSS!

/twelve year old

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Aww, I wanted to be first :'(

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

Since we’ve got a new personal thread I thought I’d share some boobzers related news.

I’ve been doing that volunteering I talked about ages ago and it’s been fun. But the people who organise it are sooo disorganised. It’s frustrating to have to nag at people about accepting volunteer help that they ostensibly need/want. But I am dealing with a different person now to do “Broadband for Seniors” where I’ll be teaching older people how to use the internet. She seems more organised and it sounds like it could be fun to do too.

And I’m applying to be a respite foster carer. A woman I work with does it, and she loves it. The organisation she’s with does seem well run and they have a very accepting policy on who they help.

And finally, I’ve started putting together my photography studio, where I will focus on pet photography. All species welcome. 🙂

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
7 years ago

Can we put in happy shit too?

Because I sold an article and am going to get paid monies for it! 😀

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

grats MollyRen! That’s fantastic. Is it something we’ll be able to read?

cloudiah
7 years ago

Sad shit: So friend #1 with cancer isn’t doing so great. If she survives, she probably will never regain the use of her legs at all, and possibly not her arms either. I’ve been trying to visit her as often as possible, and take care of as many things as I can that need taking care of (with her permission). And helping her practice ways to talk with her doctor, who is a very good oncologist but not a very empathetic person, and ways to talk to her home health nurse, who thinks it is appropriate to infantilize her patients. And helping her mother look up the parts of the insurance policy that say that they have to provide a wheelchair that actually fits the patient, not one that essentially provides no back support for someone who can’t really hold themselves upright at this point. There is SO MUCH POINTLESS ARGUING WITH THE INSURANCE COMPANY GOING ON RIGHT NOW.

Happy shit: Friend #2 with cancer is doing well, and friend #3 who just had a heart attack is doing great, and I just found out that friend #4 with a high-risk but very-much-wanted pregnancy has made it past the point of fetal viability which means that if she has to have a sudden c-section to save her life the baby will have a very decent chance of survival.

And congrats to MollyRen and Kim on the good things! It’s really nice to hear about good things. Sorry I just dumped a really big sad thing right after them…

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Kim, MollyRen, congrats!

cloudiah, glad about friends 2, 3 and 4, and that sucks so much about friend 1. 🙁 I’d never heard of losing the use of one’s limbs as a result of cancer (or is it the treatment?) and that’s fucking terrifying.

MollyRen (@MollyRen)
7 years ago

@kim It should be! Now I just have to finish writing it. XD

@cloudia I am sorry to hear about all the difficulties you’re having– insurance companies can be nasty things to deal with. Internet hugs and kittens if you want ’em!

ltkessler
7 years ago

Super congrats/super sympathies all around.

Inspired by David, my wife’s and my newest podcast on the manosphere is going up this weekend at http://www.geekuallyyoked.com

AK
AK
7 years ago

I briefly mentioned it on the other thread, but I’m stoked because my puppy passed her third SAR-certification test today. She only has one more to go, and then she’ll be mission certified and able to actually work in the field. This is especially awesome because she’s almost certainly (knock on wood) going to pass that in less than a year since she started training, which is really unusual; our program averages about 18 months from acceptance to full certification, and new handlers are warned to expect up to 2 years of training before their dogs are mission-ready. If she passes in the expected time frame, she’ll be the fastest-certified dog in my team’s 30-year history. It’s not my training, though, this dog is just scary smart and super into the work. I just haven’t managed to mess her up yet. 😉

Sad news, my alcoholic brother started drinking again after several years of sobriety, and in a big way. I don’t even know how to deal with that right now so I’m just focusing on the dogs. I love my brother but holy shit…he went from stable and sober to his wife moving out, losing his job and possibly facing criminal charges within a month because he relapsed in a big way. On top of that a loved one is in the hospital and may not leave it, and I’m just not able to handle it very well.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

All the hugs, AK, for the good stuff (yay pup!) and the bad stuff.

AK
AK
7 years ago

Oh, yeah, and Mr. AK is out of town in an area with no phone reception, so all we can do is email back and forth so I don’t even have his support. He’ll be home briefly tomorrow, but then has to leave again for two weeks. That’s almost the worst of it; he’s usually my rock and I can’t even really talk to him.

AK
AK
7 years ago

Thanks, Kitteh. 🙂

tenya
tenya
7 years ago

Just to check because I know it was a manboobz thing but possibly too long ago – but anyone going to BronyCon in Baltimore next month? I will be!

ltkessler
7 years ago

Wow, that is absolutely terrifying, AK. Lots of prayers and good thoughts headed your way.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

mollyren: congrats!

Cloudiah: I’m sorry about your friend. Fuck cancer, and insurance companies.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

AK: hugs.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

ltkessler, I can’t listen to your podcast now (no sound at work!) but just want to say I love the banner photo on your site. Your wife(?) wields a mean lightsabre. 😀

ltkessler
7 years ago

Kittehserf, she’s a priest!

Ally S
7 years ago

Today my older sister told me all about how much she hates rape jokes, sexist jokes, racist jokes, and so on. It started when I told her about dad making racist jokes when talking to someone – she got quite upset. She then went on to tell me that she hates hearing people use heterosexist slurs in casual conversation (note: she’s straight).

I was completely surprised (in a good way) because I never knew she was actually sensitive about such jokes. I’ve always known her as very thoughtful and caring, but this really impressed me, especially since almost everyone I know IRL is okay with bigoted jokes.

Of course, even if she said the exact opposite, I’d still have my aversion to such jokes. But knowing that her, my sister, shares my view means a lot to me. I love it when awesome siblings turn out to be more awesome than I expected. ^_^

Ally S
7 years ago

@Cloudiah and AK

Ugh, I’m really sorry to hear about what you two are going through. =[ That’s a lot to deal with. Internet hugs offered.

Dalet
7 years ago

I’m actually delurking here, but you guys are A+ people AND you love cats, so…

It looks like I’ll be adopting a really sweet cat tomorrow. Like, 99% looks like. This has been a dream my whole life, and a realistic goal ever since I moved out of my abusive parents’ place and into my own apartment last year. I’m excited and terrified.

I want this, I need this, and while /I/ know I can do it, I /also/ know that my parents are going to drag me over coals for this. I literally cannot afford to cut them out of my life, but I have no other friends or family or irl contacts in my life right now, and I know that they’ll be pressuring me to return her or give her up. I’m most worried that my mom will threaten, or even go through with, cutting off my pain management therapy. I am UNABLE to afford it myself, and it’s why I can’t cut my parents off anytime in the near future.

Realistic, they cannot FORCE me to give up the cat, in that they can’t and won’t physically take her away (although they’d definitely consider it), but they’ll put more and more and more pressure on me, I know they will, and I have no other resources to draw on for support. My only close friend lives in Japan.

Do you guys think I can do it?

leftwingfox
7 years ago

Hugs, sympathies, congratulations and cookies, as required. 🙂

General kitty update, I noticed her breathing becoming a little more laboured last night, so I’ve got her on the diuretic again, this time at a half-dose so she doesn’t get dehydrated again. She still has her appetite, and is regaining her strength nicely.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Kittehserf, she’s a priest!

Cool!

Kim
Kim
7 years ago

@ltkessler I have subscribed. I love pop culture/geekery podcasts, and I don’t get much exposure to Christianity, so it’ll be interesting to get a different perspective. I look forward to your manboobz inspired one.

ltkessler
7 years ago

It’s mostly me rambling and my wife being horrified at Red Pill Wives. Also our review of Man of Steel..

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Seconding leftwingfox on the sympathies, congrats, and cookies. Plus hugs, if wanted.

I’m not really in any kind of crisis or anything, but over here it’s just more of the long haul of joblessness and ennui that waiting for the government to process my permanent residence application seems to entail, plus a side helping of hoping that my husband’s job doesn’t go down the toilet even though it looks like it’s pretty likely to do so. His continuing to have income and not being on unemployment is one of the requirements of his sponsoring me into the country. But mostly I just wish it didn’t take a whole freakin’ year to process the paperwork; I’m really sick of having my life on hold.

Ashley
7 years ago

I wish the forums were more active.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Hugs to everyone who needs one!

Dalet, that is a very tough situation. Please consider us a resource as well as your friend in Japan; people here are really very kind and helpful to non-trolls, and might have some good advice. (Sadly, I have no good advice, only the aforementioned hugs.)

ltkessler
7 years ago

My wife and I immigrated to Canada and even with employment and everything relatively lined up, it was an odious process. Godspeed to you.

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  cloudiah

That’s very kind of you, Cloudiah, thank you. Honestly, I was having the most anxiety about being able to afford a cat, but…it was mostly just anxiety and my mother’s influence. Money is actually way down on my list of Real Issues in this situation, and that’s why I finally decided to go ahead for real. I guess I just don’t want to believe, even now, that my mom will come up with ANY lie possible to keep from doing this, or anything, but that’s just what she does and I need to start pushing past that.

Once I do, I know I’m going to be really proud of myself.

Ally S
7 years ago

@Dalet

I’m actually delurking here, but you guys are A+ people AND you love cats, so…

It looks like I’ll be adopting a really sweet cat tomorrow. Like, 99% looks like. This has been a dream my whole life, and a realistic goal ever since I moved out of my abusive parents’ place and into my own apartment last year. I’m excited and terrified.

I want this, I need this, and while /I/ know I can do it, I /also/ know that my parents are going to drag me over coals for this. I literally cannot afford to cut them out of my life, but I have no other friends or family or irl contacts in my life right now, and I know that they’ll be pressuring me to return her or give her up. I’m most worried that my mom will threaten, or even go through with, cutting off my pain management therapy. I am UNABLE to afford it myself, and it’s why I can’t cut my parents off anytime in the near future.

Realistic, they cannot FORCE me to give up the cat, in that they can’t and won’t physically take her away (although they’d definitely consider it), but they’ll put more and more and more pressure on me, I know they will, and I have no other resources to draw on for support. My only close friend lives in Japan.

Do you guys think I can do it?

That sounds like a scary situation – I’m sorry you have to go through that. I’m glad that you’ve at least moved out. And your mom is fucking awful to be the kind of person who would threaten to cut off essential financial support just because you have a cat. =[ Hugs if you want them.

Is there any way you can keep your parents in the dark? I apologize if that’s a silly question – and it most likely is – but maybe you can try to make sure that they don’t know about the cat until you can somehow start affording the pain management therapy you spoke of.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Dalet, hi, and please accept one Official Welcome Package!

I wish I had more than hugs to offer. Do your parents visit (seems like the wrong word for abusive people) you? Will they see your kitty?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Aaliyah, if that was silly, count me as silly too.

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
7 years ago

I… cannot at all keep up with the comments on all the posts. Wish the forum had been the more popular choice, but c’est la vie.

Newsish: I start back to school at the start of August. I will end up having to curtail most internets. I will be going to school full time and working full time. I will be finishing my BS in a year though, so that will be a milestone. I’ll finally have the credentials to do the job I am already doing!

Condolences and sympathies for those with bad news.

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  Ally S

A welcome package! Oh my God, thank you!

Ally & Kittehserf,

It’s not a silly question at all, but, unfortunately, the answer is no. Although I have THANKFULLY managed to keep my mother from having a key to my apartment, she (and sometimes my dad) come by 2-3 times a week. As weird as this sounds, my mother is obsessed with my personal hygiene, and since I can’t wash my own hair, because of pain and disability, she refuses any treatment for me unless I let her into my apartment to do it herself and, honestly, do whatever the fuck she wants with my things. I’m Autistic, and when I lived at home, she would regularly rearrange my room to suit her tastes.

All of that is non-negotiable, if I want to continue pain management therapy, and I really have no reason to hope it’ll change soon.

Wow, I promise I didn’t mean to delurk and get so heavy all at once. Short answer: no, there is no way to hide the kitty from them.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Dalet, you’re welcome!

Hey, no apologies for needing to talk. One, we’re glad to see non-troll delurkers, and two, this is the open thread after all. 🙂

Damn, drat and ohshit about you having to let your parents in. I was wondering about keys to the apartment and such, but if you need help and can’t get it elsewhere (and it’s plain you can’t, I’m not suggesting spending cash you haven’t got!) it’s not an option.

I am queen of multi-clause sentences, you may notice.

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  Kittehserf

And I tends towards verbosity, as you can see, Kittehserf. Clearly, we’re a match made in Loquaciousness Heaven.

She keeps the pressure up for a set of keys, but, for whatever reason, it seems to be quite low on her list of priorities and a “No,” and brief argument tends to suffice. Go figure.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Little success story: I’ve done my first blog post in a while that features written writing* as well as a new picture. Can’t believe it’s taken three days to do it. I’m so out of the loop for keeping up with my veil-diaries, and it’s most annoying.

*”it’s in written writing” was one of the many strange phrases of my first boss, language mangler extraordinaire.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Loquaciousness Heaven, I like it! 😀

You can call me Kittehs, save the key strokes.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Thanks, Itkessler, I definitely feel you on that. My husband was a little luckier than me with the whole immigration process, having come in and gotten his permanent residence and then citizenship on a student visa before they started tightening up the regulations, but at least my application will almost certainly be approved, according to a friend of mine who is an immigration lawyer. Not that that keeps me from worrying incessantly though, heh.

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  Kittehserf

But– my extra keystrokes!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Save them for if you have a need for wharblearglewut any time!

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

@Dalet – I hope the kitty is as awesome as everything you hope for and that everything goes as smoothly as possible. I’m not much of a pet person myself (Gasp! Heresy! I know) but I know a lot of people who really benefit from having a pet or two around 🙂

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  dustydeste

Thank you so much, DustyDeste. She definitely SOUNDS like my soulmate, for real. I’m one of THOSE Autistic people who really connects with certain animals, cats and birds in particular. If I couldn’t get a cat, I would’ve gotten a cockatiel. The only job I could ever hold for any length of time was in the bird department of a pet store. Just being there was soothing! I’m surprised I got any work or let any birds go!

Andrew Johnston
7 years ago

I suppose I have a bit of good news as well. One of my stories was picked up by a serial website – not a huge deal, but it’s a brand new audience and it means someone is interested in my work. It’s over here, if anyone’s interested.

So I have that going for me now.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I’m not much of a pet person myself (Gasp! Heresy! I know)

BLASPHEMY!

http://youtu.be/vt0Y39eMvpI

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Whoops, wrong scene! 😀

http://youtu.be/MIaORknS1Dk

Dalet
7 years ago
Reply to  Kittehserf

Oh no! I didn’t mean to get anyone in trouble! What have I wrought?!

1 2 3 13