It’s a challenge for every serious writer of fiction: how to write convincing characters of the opposite sex.* Some writers can pull it off, some — even eminent ones — can’t. James Joyce is still getting props for the way he got into Molly Bloom’s dirty, dirty mind; Tom Wolfe was nearly laughed out of the sorority by some critics when he wrote a book from the point of view of a college student named Charlotte Simmons. (And it’s not just men who get accused of not being able to think outside their own gender: an essay in Salon not long ago suggested that Girls creator Lena Dunham “can’t write men.”)
We can add one more name to the long list of male authors who can’t write women: The fellow who calls himself fish_finger on Reddit.
The other day, Mr. Finger posted what he claimed was a true story about some women at his workplace who had been passing around a list of their male colleagues, rated “hot or not” on the customary 1-10 scale, and covered with crude sexual comments about them. The comments about the hottest guys, he wrote,
incited rape and were seriously disturbing. One female forwarded it onto HR and the rest of the department, but no action has been taken. HR have said it was just a joke and should be forgotten.
So far, it sounds unlikely, but it’s at least within the realm of the possible, allowing for a bit of the typical Men’s Rights exaggeration.
The trouble came when someone asked Mr. Finger what the comments were like, and he replied with this:
Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that no woman in the history of the universe has ever uttered, or set down on paper, either the first or third comment in that list. I’m pretty sure women don’t sneak around in the alleys behind the houses of handsome dudes with turkey basters in hand, rifling through the trash in hopes of finding discarded condoms with still-viable sperm swimming around inside of them.
These aren’t comments from actual women. These are Men’s Rights myths come to life.
Naturally, the folks in r/againstmensrights are having a field day with this one. And while most of those in r/mensrights are taking Mr. Fingers completely seriously — his post got nearly 700 upvotes, and the most heavily upvoted responses to these allegedly real comments urge him to take the company to court — there are even some there who can see it’s a fake.
Still, Mr. Finger doesn’t seem like a typical troll. His account is four months old, and he seems to spend most of his time on Reddit talking with utmost sincerity about pet rats.
But he has posted previous comments in r/mensrights about his workplace that have the same air of unreality about them. In one, he claimed to have gotten in trouble “for not being courteous to a females colleagues request that only females sit next to her and men must not be within 10m [of] her desk.”
He got 86 upvotes for that one. How many offices are big enough to make this even possible?
As best as I can figure it, Mr. Finger is both a sincere rat lover and a sincere Men’s Rightser; it’s just that he apparently thinks the best way to advance Men’s Rights is to tell tall tales about men being oppressed.
That, in itself, is not all that surprising; the Men’s Rights movement is built on imaginary oppression.
But what is a little more surprising is how willing other MRAs are to accept the completely unbelievable comments he claims are from the women in his office as real. Are they really that out of tune with how women actually think?
Do they have so little empathy and understanding that they actually think the women sitting next to them at work not only look at men as little more than walking repositories of genetic material — but that they would rather steal their sperm from the garbage than have sex with them? That they think these women think of sex in terms of “engulfing” men’s penises?
Apparently for a lot of Men’s Rightsers the answer is yes.
—
*Gender is obviously more complicated than the traditional gender binary; I am talking here mostly about cis men and women trying to write from the point of view of cis women and men on the opposite side of the binary.
I honestly do not know. We were told “no touchy or I will end you” by Chloe, the flatmate in question, but she was possessive like that and she did make the stuff herself.
She had lovely waist length hair FWIW.
Clearly it was misandry that was causing homeboy’s dick to burn!!
Since when have schools not been that, anyways? Even before women were fucking allowed into them, they were like that.
Its also revealing that they think politeness is an example of feminism oppressing masculinity.
I guess it’s time to have an updated birds-and-bees talk with the kids. No sense in beating around the bush any longer.
“You see, children, when a dumpster and an office slut love each other very very much…”
@WeeBoy – ‘Close runners up being “I wanted to see what would happen” and “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” ‘
Well-known subsets of extreme stupidity or Ridcully syndrome. 😀
… crumbs, now I’m picturing what would happen if Dan was let loose in Bloody Stupid Johnson’s Patent ‘Typhoon’ Superior Indoor Ablutorium with Automatic Soap Dish.
RE: WeeBoy
Wow, that is impressive. Maybe your flattie with the strange shampoo had arcane rituals to keep her hair so shiny, requiring alchemical shampoo? I’m also thinking maybe your other flattie thought it’d be fun to try and stick his dick in the bottle, which would be a terrible idea and maybe ram the stuff up there.
UGH WHY AM I EVEN TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THIS.
Yes, requiring little boys (or big ones) to shut up and listen so they might learn something is SO repressive. Suggesting they don’t know everything already and don’t have the right to stop anyone else in the vicinity from learning is clearly misandry.
I seem to remember reading somewhere, in my youth, that nettle-based shampoo bleaches hair slightly in a natural looking way.
Sounds like it’s promoted as a cleanser for oily hair, because of its acidic content, and as a hair-loss preventative.
http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-nettle-shampoo.htm
Also when a “did you know” pop up appeared on that site, it was of a black kitten. 🙂
I don’t know what non-misandrist education would be then, just gym class? Idk any education styles where you aren’t supposed to sit down and keep quiet for most of the class.
This is kind of the ultimate “seemed like a good idea at the time to a bunch of drunk guys” video — guys coat a slip and slide with gasoline, light it on fire, dude slides on it, and apparently it never occurred to any of these guys that any of the burning gasoline would stick to him, making him also on fire. Also, none of them ever heard of “stop drop and roll.”
Warning: graphic footage of his severe burns afterwards. Also NSFW.
auggz – only if girls aren’t allowed to do gym at the same time as the boys. Because cooties, and all those girly bits that the boys have to look at, and so distracting to their boners, and girls only do gym to show off to boys anyway, amirite?
“Maybe this can be the new scaring off trolls tactic? Explicit sex anecdotes that aren’t very sexy at all. We can call it “when experiments go wrong”.”
*pops in* my cartilage piercing is through the bit of my ear that went from bite harder to YELP in a nanosecond. Figured if it was already dented I might as well get something to show for it!
Those guys are Darwin Award material. How does someone that stupid remember to breathe?
Not a sex anecdote, but I have a magnificent burn that covers my right palm, all white scar skin. Got it when I was about eighteen months old, learning to walk, and fell onto a heater. Looks way worse than it is – no loss of feeling or use of the hand at all.
That video…as bad as it is, the last line might be the worst. Wtf is wring with this country?! Yeah, that’s a stupidity induced injury, but the risks of Very Bad Things make it well into not hoping for the best but “get the to a doctor, now”
…and no fucking insurance.
I should’ve asked that one, I’m curious how many of us have shitty insurance // decent insurance // no insurance // blasted commies with your socialized medicine insurance (yes that means I wants)
Seeing as the whole point of the hot-sauce thing is to fantasize about causing genital pain to ciswomen, it seems only fair.
Ha, just to rub it in, Argenti – we’re being strongly encouraged to take out private insurance these days. Not because Medicare’s going to disappear, not because we won’t get treatment (or affordable treatment) without it, but simply because we’ll pay a higher tax levy if we don’t.
I’m so naive – I thought the hot sauce was meant as a DIY spermicide on a par with the cola douche *shakes head at own stupidity*
@David So they lit some plastic sheets on fire with alcohol and then slid a person across it. Awesome.
1, Plastic melts at that temperature and will stick to skin.
2. Alcohol/Petroleum fires aren’t very responsive to water.
3. STOP. DROP. ROLL.
Also, less stupid fun (relatively).
On the plus side, I at least know that spraying water on burning gasoline is pretty ineffective and that setting fire to a plastic slip & slide will produce sticky burning plastic that will stick to your flesh.
Ooops, ninja’d
@Cassandra I have dubs on Hot Sauce Sounding for my band name, my cringe-inducing band name.
Urgh. Hey guys, I’m having some aggro. I have a friend who likes to bring up how I’ve got so much more opportunity than him because I have a degree.
Now, to be clear, college was a really awful time for me. I just pretty much stopped eating, had horrible dissociative attacks regularly, was dealing with rape shit, realizing I existed, and everything else. I FLAYED myself for that degree, and honestly, I don’t believe it’s worth the huge cost in sanity. I also get frustrated because my friend has a union job, so he actually has money for things, so I get really sick of being reminded how fortunate I am to have that stupid piece of paper.
I have asked him to stop bringing it up, because it’s uncomfortable and reminds me of sick, sad days, and he pretty much said, “Well, I’ll stop bringing it up, because every conversation we have on the subject goes this way,” and I’m frustrated even more because goddammit, HE’S the one who brought up the damn degree! I’d really rather just burn the fucking thing. (“Hey, remember when you were starving yourself to death slowly, but everyone loved you because you got all A’s and worked very hard and pretended to be a girl? REMEMBER HOW GOOD YOU WERE THEN?”) And I think he thinks I’m just sloughing my class privilege or something.
I’m just… frustrated. And irrationally hurt.
Oh, and in more amusing news, orion thinks I’m just looking to get offended. Heh. I think he’s confusing STUPEFYING me.
Back at the original post, I assume no Men’s Rightser picked up that it was a woman who forwarded the alleged list to HR. Well, I assume he means a woman – at least it was a female something but probably not the office cat.
See, MRAs, feminists are fighting sexism of whatever flavour!