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Men’s Rights Redditors (still) can’t tell misogynistic caricatures of women from the real thing

Evil woman printing out evil office sex list.
Evil woman printing out evil office sex list.

It’s a challenge for every serious writer of fiction: how to write convincing characters of the opposite sex.* Some writers can pull it off, some — even eminent ones — can’t. James Joyce is still getting props for the way he got into Molly Bloom’s dirty, dirty mind; Tom Wolfe was nearly laughed out of the sorority by some critics when he wrote a book from the point of view of a college student named Charlotte Simmons.  (And it’s not just men who get accused of not being able to think outside their own gender: an essay in Salon not long ago suggested that Girls creator Lena Dunham “can’t write men.”)

We can add one more name to the long list of male authors who can’t write women: The fellow who calls himself fish_finger on Reddit.

The other day, Mr. Finger posted what he claimed was a true story about some women at his workplace who had been passing around a list of their male colleagues, rated “hot or not” on the customary 1-10 scale, and covered with crude sexual comments about them. The comments about the hottest guys, he wrote,

incited rape and were seriously disturbing. One female forwarded it onto HR and the rest of the department, but no action has been taken. HR have said it was just a joke and should be forgotten.

So far, it sounds unlikely, but it’s at least within the realm of the possible, allowing for a bit of the typical Men’s Rights exaggeration.

The trouble came when someone asked Mr. Finger what the comments were like, and he replied with this:

fish_finger 51 points  "I'd tie him up and enjoying his cries for help, whilst I force him inside me"  "Xxxxx is a stud, next time I get him alone I'll whip off those pants and find out what size pistol he's packing"  "A* genetic material, can anyone tell him where he lives so I can raid the trash for disposed condoms?" Hope he's been putting hot sauce in...
Yeah, I think it’s pretty safe to say that no woman in the history of the universe has ever uttered, or set down on paper, either the first or third comment in that list. I’m pretty sure women don’t sneak around in the alleys behind the houses of handsome dudes with turkey basters in hand, rifling through the trash in hopes of finding discarded condoms with still-viable sperm swimming around inside of them.

These aren’t comments from actual women. These are Men’s Rights myths come to life.

Naturally, the folks in r/againstmensrights are having a field day with this one. And while most of those in r/mensrights are taking Mr. Fingers completely seriously — his post got nearly 700 upvotes, and the most heavily upvoted responses to these allegedly real comments urge him to take the company to court — there are even some there who can see it’s a fake.

Still, Mr. Finger doesn’t seem like a typical troll. His account is four months old, and he seems to spend most of his time on Reddit talking with utmost sincerity about pet rats.

But he has posted previous comments in r/mensrights about his workplace that have the same air of unreality about them. In one, he claimed to have gotten in trouble “for not being courteous to a females colleagues request that only females sit next to her and men must not be within 10m [of] her desk.”

He got 86 upvotes for that one. How many offices are big enough to make this even possible?

As best as I can figure it, Mr. Finger is both a sincere rat lover and a sincere Men’s Rightser; it’s just that he apparently thinks the best way to advance Men’s Rights is to tell tall tales about men being oppressed.

That, in itself, is not all that surprising; the Men’s Rights movement is built on imaginary oppression.

But what is a little more surprising is how willing other MRAs are to accept the completely unbelievable comments he claims are from the women in his office as real. Are they really that out of tune with how women actually think?

Do they have so little empathy and understanding that they actually think the women sitting next to them at work not only look at men as little more than walking repositories of genetic material — but that they would rather steal their sperm from the garbage than have sex with them? That they think these women think of sex in terms of “engulfing” men’s penises?

Apparently for a lot of Men’s Rightsers the answer is yes.

*Gender is obviously more complicated than the traditional gender binary; I am talking here mostly about cis men and women trying to write from the point of view of cis women and men on the opposite side of the binary.

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thebewilderness
thebewilderness
11 years ago

Even if they did buy into the rather questionable claim, why would they suggest suing when it was turned over to human resources (ihatethateffingname)
Do they think he should have been apprised of whatever disciplinary action was taken?
What do you suppose will happen when they investigate and find out he wrote it all hiz own self? Assuming something of this nature was written.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@Maude – and quite possibly, if he carries on like this at work, someone might have asked that he come no nearer than ten metres to her! (He would of course extend that to meaning “all men” because he’s sooooo representative of all men.)

@Cassandra – I like your thinking. ::laughs evilly::

Forgot to add the important bit re genes: even if I wanted to breed, that’s not what sexual attraction is about! I am not actually attracted to sperm. It’s, oh, stuff like the sperm owner’s personality, and yes looks, but genetics? Hmm, well, only insofar as Mr K got lucky in having a very watered-down version of the Austrian lip …

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Furthermore, are there good-sounding but unclassified adjectives that unscrupulous types use to hype up their genetic material? Where is the material usually labelled? Do I have to have my balls tattooed?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

This did not happen. I’ve never heard women talk this way. However, I HAVE heard men discuss women like this.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@Iris Vander Pluym – that made me snorfle. 😀 Have you had your Official Welcome Package yet?

@Maude –

@ kitteh
You should know that women who don’t want children don’t exist! It’s just a subterfuge to get the high value triple A alphas to put their guards down.

Now you’ve done it!

http://youtu.be/uQJ8WrKnLUs

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Oh, and back in my single days when my girlfriends and myself would talk shit about men, it was a hell of a lot funnier than this stuff.

cloudiah
11 years ago

@lowquacks, You just caused me to Google “ISO standards for sperm” … and I really hope the NSA is tracking my Google searches.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

However, I HAVE heard men discuss women like this.

Eep. Hopefully only over at the Heartiste formerly known as Roissy’s little web operation or something similar?

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

@ katz
That response should be the new MRA motto.

“Misandry: clearly fake, but let’s make a wankfest out of it as though it were real anyway”

Kittehserf
11 years ago

David, that idea had me crossing my legs in sympathetic owwwness.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Lowquacks: no, I’ve heard some awful stuff from dudes IRL. They’re out there.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

OW, hot sauce. I once got home from work and found my ex trying to spray Chloroseptic on his junk–he had hadn’t washed his hands after cutting hot peppers, went to the bathroom, and the rest is history.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
11 years ago

“I hope he’s not putting to asco sauce in them…”

Ha! Yeah right. Only dudebros are ridiculous enough to even think about putting hot sauce in their condoms.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Good grief, doing that on purpose??? Is there a word for “beyond masochistic”?

Closest I can think of to that is a friend’s story about giving her husband a back rub with tiger balm. Things got interesting but she didn’t think to wash her hands before she took hold of his bits, and had to scrape him off the ceiling afterward (her words).

cloudiah
11 years ago

My sister sent me a funny video:

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

See, I would have actually considered the first one somewhat believable because my facebook feed is privy to some disturbingly rapey comments about male celebrities (though, I think that’s also because of the way celebrities are othered), but no woman has used “whilst” in dirty talk since Queen Victoria

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

Also, happy Canada Day to my fellow Canuckers. I can’t hear myself think over the fireworks out here, but they look fuckin awesome.

Monster
11 years ago

@ Lowquacks,

A* is a UK grade. Maybe Mr. Fingers is in/went to school in the UK. That whole comment is just ewwww…also if he is in the UK then that means he is probably less than 1000 miles away from me. ARGH.

Also also, never heard women talk about men that way, but sadly I have heard similar assessments of women by men. So cringe-inducing.

opium4themasses
11 years ago

I am not sure if hot sauce or soundings bother me more. Even for those in the “scene” it is possible to be squicked.

lowquacks
lowquacks
11 years ago

Hmm. That’s odd – makes it looks like an A with some exception or something. Most grades here in Australia at a primary and secondary level are numberical or A/B/C/D/F (sometimes with state-chosen synonyms for each of those grades) but + and – seem to exist in some causual grading.

Shadow
Shadow
11 years ago

@Monster

He doesn’t even need to be in the UK, since anyone who took their O Levels or IGCSEs would be using the same grading system.

@Kitteh’s

I guess even she couldn’t get hot using “whilst” 😛

SittieKitty
11 years ago

And yeah, “I’m going to go out and raid the trash for disposed condoms so I can shove the contents inside my vagina” is something no woman has ever said anywhere.

To be fair cloudiah, I’m pretty sure that’s been said many times on several SRS subs, but it’s *clearly* in jest…