So the other day someone asked the Men’s Rights subreddit “Why do people think you guys hate women?”
There were a lot of ridiculous answers to that question, but one of the most ridiculous (and one of the most highly upvoted) responses came from our old friend John Hembling, the blabby Canadian videoblogger and A Voice for Men “Editor in Chief” also known for some dopey reason as John The Other. He explained:
![johntheother [-37] 29 points 3 days ago (36|7) They dont actually think we hate women. The accusation is a derailing tactic, designed to push the topic towards a defensive posture, and requiring proof from us (MRAs) that "hatred of women" is a false claim. When used, it takes the discussion away from real issues such as suicide rates, homelessness, infant genital mutilation and so on. It's very very effective, because it plays on the fact that almost all men, including MRAs are basically decent. And the social stigma of a public perception of hatred of women is painful. To overcome this tactic, it is necessary to discard a self image relying on consensus approval. Tough to do because we are social animals. But to disarm the attack of "you hate women" it's necessary to develop a strong self identity which takes no account of consensus conferral of approval. Be the "bad man", and let only your own internal compas of right and wrong guide you.](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/jtohatewomen2.png?resize=580%2C246&ssl=1)
Really, John? Because I have something like 1200 posts on this blog here that would seem to suggest that, no, a lot of MRAs (and PUAs and MGOTWers) really, honestly, sincerely, and sometimes even proudly, hate women. (Ok, a certain percentage of my posts are actually about kitties, but still, I invite you to spend a month or so going through the archives, John; you may learn a thing or two.)
But, actually, there’s no need to take my word on the subject. Because if you really want to know why so many people think MRAs hate women, I invite you to take a look at and a listen to this video by a prominent MRA. Seems pretty obvious that this guy hates women, wouldn’t you agree?
Oh, by the way, this guy is you. [TRIGGER WARNING for people who are not John Hembling and who might be disturbed by a smirking asshole literally laughing about rape. Seriously. This is bad even by his standards.]
Oh, another by the way: Hembling complained about feminists “doxing” him long after he made the video that was excerpted here in which he gave out his name. That’s right, he put his name out in his own video, then complained that feminists were violating his privacy and basically terrorizing him by ever mentioning his name. Until he started going by his real name again.
Before I go, here’s another particularly inane contribution to the Reddit discussion:
Huh. MRAs certainly have a most unusual way of “walking on eggshells.” Indeed, to this outside observer it looks a lot less like “walking on eggshells” and more like “angry toddler having an endless stompy tantrum.”
Not watching the video. I do not have the sanity points for something like that today, and I don’t want to upset the SO with incoherent ranting.
Now now, it’s not that they hate “women”. They have such a narrow definition of what a “woman” is that I’m sure they just hate everyone who identifies under the female gender who don’t meet their definition of women! So you see, they don’t hate women, just all the others. Except men. After all, there’s no requirement to meet a definition if you are a man, just different tiers of “men” that are successful.
lol JTO. This video can never be posted too much. And he didn’t just randomly mention his name, he was very proud to do so and even spelled it. That’s why I was floored when I heard he was complaining about Doxing. I am no longer floored by anything he does. No worries.
SittieKitty, compare that rhetoric to the far-too-common rhetoric of “I don’t hate black people, I hate n*****s; there’s a difference.” Alternatively: “I don’t hate homosexuals, I hate f*****s; there’s a difference.”
MRAs have simply co-opted these arguments (the same way they co-opt pretty much everything they have ever said, ironically often from feminism) and changed the words to “I don’t hate women, I hate whores/sluts/Western women/feminazis/insert-preferred-gendered-slur-here; there’s a difference.”
I think we’re all avoiding the most important question here, which is: What the fuck is that painting behind JtO’s head, there?
NB: Not really the most important question.
I wonder if I can use this rationalization against an MRA next time.
“It’s not that we feminists are ‘misandrists’ who hate men, it’s that men have to project this upon us because of their inferiority complex to put us on the defensive, blah blah blah, social animals, etc.”
This is just another example of why everything is my fault as a feminist and a woman. Sorry John, that’s my bad once again. I had no idea that you hating me for my gender was my own fault and that I’m oppressing you with it.
Pretty much Batbro. Given that most of them are racist homophobic assholes too, I’m not exactly surprised.
Man, my car ran out of gas this one time, and there wasn’t a woman around for miles. I had to take the blame myself for driving past the last gas station on a quarter tank. It sucked.
I really, really wish that I hadn’t watched it. His laugh made me want to throw my lap top out the window.
BRB, showering my brain with bleach to try and rid myself of the image of his gurning mug.
So does he not care about male rape victims either? I thought he was supposed to be all about “compassion for men and boys”.
Good point bionicmommy, it just shows that as usual, MRA’s only actually care about male victims of rape when it suits them. Ie. when they can use it to attempt to score points against Feminists or to derail discussions of sexual violence against women and girls.
@Falconer
A woman should have filled your gas tank for you before you ever drove. It’s misandry that you only had a quarter of a tank in the first place.
That whole thread is something else.
“We are social animals” is something that I like to say a lot, and now I feel dirty. 🙁
Pfft, if it hadn’t been because of women, Falconer wouldn’t even have been driving.
Hey Dude,
did you ever think about the reasons why SOME these men hate women?
The truth is, many have had bad experiences with women, be it their mothers, or girlfriends, wifes or co-workers etc.
Now, i am not asking you to sympathize with their goals or ideology because of this fact.
But i tell you this, without a bit of empathy from feminists (or other mens organisations), these men will keep hating women. They will keep doing what they are doing.
I ask you this: Why are only mens rights activists concerned with the issues of these men? Why are there no alternatives?
Think about it. These people are not neccesarly evil.
I think Dave Futrelle must hate all human beings because he put a 6+ minute John the Other video in this blog post without quoting the 0.36 seconds of relevant material from it (I’m being generous in assuming a 0.01% signal-to-noise ratio in any JtO video, because I’m sure as hell not going to watch it.)
I read that first as “made me want to throw up out the window”, and I’m right there with you. I feel the need to run some diagnostics at the very least…
Brain bleach seems in order:
Is that last one fennec foxes in the bath?! So watching that once I finish clearing my sinuses on this Indian!
Dammit, how dumb do you have to be to bitch about doxxing when you GAVE OUT YOUR NAME? JtO levels of dumb, apparently.
Heh! I love it when MRAs say that they don’t hate women, they just hate feminists. No, that’s totes not transparent in the slightest!
Nowadays when anyone tells me they’re against feminism, no matter what their explanations are, it sends red flags up and I immediately start getting away from them because usually their reasons are decidedly misogynistic, or at the very least, disingenuous.
I especially like the “Why does there have to be feminism? Why can’t we all just be humanists?” argument. Lovely sentiment except that only works if everyone is on equal footing. PoC, women, LGBT, people with disabilities, and basically anyone is isn’t able bodied, cisgendered, white, and male do not enjoy the same privileges.
The humanism argument used to trip me up a lot until I saw it for what it was; a frantic ploy to protect one’s own group privilege while trying to seem magnanimous. It’s currently one of the tacks used in the anti-feminist faction of the so-called atheist community. It’s just a way to villainize the feminist side. Because god forbid (heh!) we let all those irrational wimmin in the white boy treehouse.
Wonderful brain bleach sittykitty, thank you. Sometimes people are just inexplicably awful and I just don’t get it.
Make sure to wash behind your ears.
Misspelled your ‘nym like a doof, sorry. I knew I should have scrolled up and checked!