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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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SittieKitty
11 years ago

(Been watching a lot of adventure time… initialism ftw)

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Just wanna profess my love for the Mighty Boosh, even if it’s not always appropriate or in line with my activism, so good. I’m not sure if I’ve ever found a British comedy that isn’t offensive on some deep level though. I was just trying out this hulu exclusive comedy with my cousin yesterday and we were having a moral dilemma about the premise where an 18 year old girl and 16 year old boy sleep together, so technically she committed statutory rape, but she was also so drunk she didn’t even remember what he looked like. They were playing up the stat rape part for laughs but nobody commented on how he raped her. I don’t think I’ll keep watching that one.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: SittieKitty

Oh hey, I just realized, you went over my individual funding bar! That means you get a free bonus sketch! Don’t let me forget, when I upload the posts tomorrow; you can tell me what you’d like, okay?

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
11 years ago

Ah, but Jessay, 16 is the age of consent in the UK (and here), so while they may have been riffing off omigosh a younger man it’s not really about stat rape.

Have you seen The IT Crowd? It’s a bit more gender-role laden, and not as completely bizarre as The Mighty Boosh, but still amusing and I can’t think of anything particularly problematic in it.

Funnily enough I tend not to like most US comedies because it tends to be so repetitive and boring and leads you along by the hand. But then, I don’t watch a lot of mainstream movies because I get annoyed by recycled tropes and music telling you how to feel. 😛

hrovitnir
hrovitnir
11 years ago

Or rather, if it’s British and they were framing it as statutory rape… I’m not sure how/why. Unless it was a case of “if person A is over the age of 18 and is in a position of trust to person B who is under the age of 18, it is illegal for A to engage in sexual activity with B”, which is reeeeally creepy but doesn’t sound like what you described.

Ally S
11 years ago

@Karalora

“ZETTAI UNMEI MOKUSHIROKU”

MOKUSHI KUSHIMO
SHIMOKU KUMOSHI
MOSHIKU SHIKUMO

Now that song is going to get stuck in my head XD

AK
AK
11 years ago

The IT Crowd is mostly really funny, but there’s a really appalling transphobic episode in season 3 (“The Speech”) that I’d advise skipping. It made me very uncomfortable to watch, and it could even be triggering for some trans* folks as it culminates in a fistfight between a trans woman and her cis male lover. It’s not graphic or anything, but it’s really icky.

theseventhguest
11 years ago

I also like Revolutionary Girl Utena series (I have the manga, too), but I thought the movie was ridiculous. Why does Utena turn into a car? Up to that point, it was neat (but confusing), with the roll reversal and such.

Has anyone else here watched Greenwing? It used to be on Hulu.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

LBT, that’s… kinda fantastic 😀

I’ve been having a shit night (crappy compulsion to create coupled with a complete lack of ability to create coupled with my muse going on vacation coupled with dark BPD Depression thoughts has caused a very unhappy kitty) so that comes as a nice surprise 🙂

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
11 years ago

Coming in late, but amused. So Fartiste is making an ass of himself with his emissions from his tooter account? Let him trumpet his hot air. In the end, people will know there is something rotten in the state of Denmark. Besides, this whole thing doesn’t pass the smell test. Did he get in trouble for ass-ault? Is that why he really made a run for the border?

opium4themasses
opium4themasses
11 years ago

@Bob Dole and @Cassandrasays
Roissy would be Envy if he were any homonculus. An overly aggressive shapeshifter who uses any means necessary to get what he wants. In the end, you find out he is really an insecure monster who wants what others have.

katz
11 years ago

Watcha creating, Sittie? I’m sure it’s better than you think. Usually is.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Trying to draw. Not working out well. Can’t make him old enough (like, seriously cannot figure out how to draw a 30iish yo) and can’t get the face right… plus, backgrounds… backgrounds are the bane of my artistic existence. Also clothing. Also, I’ve never tried drawing in this style before, so it doesn’t really surprise me that I apparently can’t get it.

Usually I write, but I’m so blank right now I can’t think of anything to write that isn’t going to just make my brain turn in a downward-spiraly direction… Writing in this state is not a good idea, nope nope nope.

katz
11 years ago

It’s hard to draw middle-aged people (or, generally, to make people look older without making them look really old), especially in a line drawing. Try adding some nasolabial folds (those lines that go from the corner of your nose around the outside of your mouth). You could give him a forehead wrinkle or too as well, especially since he’s looking pensive.

What sort of story is this for? (I’m an inveterate reader of other people’s stories, if you didn’t know.)

SittieKitty
11 years ago

uh… so I only have it sorta half cooked… Basically he’s thrown into having to take care of an old obsession’s child because some political thing or another (still fleshing that out) killed her parents (or maybe just captured them, haven’t decided)… pretty much the story of trying to take care of her when he’s a mental wreck, interspersed with flashbacks to why he’s a mental wreck.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

On the plus side, he is supposed to look pensive. So bonus points to expression even if I can’t get his face old/right lol

katz
11 years ago

Sounds interesting. Are you on DeviantArt?

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Was thinking about making one. There are some really amazing things on there.

katz
11 years ago

You should 🙂 Everyone who draws should have a DeviantArt. And you can’t be all like “but there are people on there who are amazing!” because by that logic we’d all have to delete our accounts.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

because by that logic we’d all have to delete our accounts.

Lol. I seriously doubt that. Y’all are pretty awesome.

katz
11 years ago

Well, frinstance, I follow Andree Wallin.

Safe to say he’s a wee bit better than me, and also a professional artist who does concept art for movies and shit.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Wow. I really like some of those. I like the ones that look melancholy. Like nature is taking back the world, that humans were there but have been gone for a while and now all that’s left is the buildings that are slowly being reclaimed; no one around to witness it, the inevitable crumbling of monuments to society… Yeah, see this is why I don’t write when I’m like this ;^.^ I’d have pages of some of melancholia everywhere.

Seranvali
Seranvali
11 years ago

And they wonder why we consider them the abuser’s lobby. I think he must have mentioned every “strategy” that we try to fight and considers them all of them legitimate.
And “mate retention” WTF, they’ll do pretty much anything to avoid having to think of us as human beings with the right to 1. Make our own decisions 2. Go or stay as we choose (the same way they do) 3. Live free of violence and fear. You know, exercise our basic human rights.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

That’s a cool pic, SittieKitty.

I think the thing that makes him look much younger than 30 for me is the facial proportion. Very large eyes + smal lower half of face = childlike. I know that’s partly the style and partly the angle (and yes, he definitely looks pensive) but is making his jaw a little heavier worth considering, too? I certainly second katz’s suggestion of a naso-labial fold. Maybe a hint of a line under his eyes?

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