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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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Kittehserf
11 years ago

Falconer – LOL that sounds like Fribs. Her need to be fed or do a Giant Toxic Poo always coincide with us sitting down to dinner.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Pretty sure babies are like cats — always on topic!

Kitteh — that little tabby is adorable, maybe she can give mads a lesson in holding still for the camera?

AbominableSnowPickle
11 years ago

I tired to post links to kittehs, but most post got eaten. For you who you Imgur to host your photos, which version of the URL should I use to make them show up here?

guffaw-ferrets
guffaw-ferrets
11 years ago

Kitteh — “wind retention strategy” LOLOLOL
And yeah, that would explain a lot. Sadly, I think he only spews noxious gas out of his mouth and via his fingertips on the keyboard, because he would have mentioned if it came out of his ass (which is obviously where he gets all his fax).

Thread — with all the fish talk, it seems like a good time to say that the word “mangina” always makes me think of Old Gregg. Who, counter to angry-man-on-internet assumptions, seemed quite proud of his and willing to show it to pretty much anyone. “Light comes from inside & makes you feel tingly!”

anadiomene122
anadiomene122
11 years ago

Someone please tell me that by now Roissy has a bunch of shirtless selfies up somewhere… in keeping with the times.

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

I have no cat of my own, but Sneak was taking care of a cat this past weekend. It’s a misanthrope cat, so zer great achievement was getting sniffed and not hissed at. Plus it got our money requirement for the month! (It’s sad that in one weekend, Sneak outearns me in a month.)

Athywren
Athywren
11 years ago

Surely if you need to take steps to “retain” your mate, you’re already failing at Relationship? So… if you’re already a relationship failure, how is threatening violence, shame, ostracism and abandonment going to save you?

Abandonment? GOOD! Fuck ye merrily offwards.
Shame? From what source? Shame from being in a relationship with a failure at human interaction? Well that’s only going to convince them to ditch you, isn’t it?
Ostracism? Isn’t this basically just abandonment, except you take all your MRA friends with you?
Violence? Ah, yes, the tool of the true failure of humanity. You lack the charm, decency and social skills to hold her attraction, but all women love a bruised rib! Punch her in the face and she’ll love you forever more! Except not.

… I do not much like this man, it seems.

hrovitnir
11 years ago

tedthefed | June 24, 2013 at 6:32 pm
The neural and physiological aspects of a psych phenomenon (like fear) can only describe what’s happening in the present. They can’t do anything but show a correlation between biology and a subjective experience… there’s no information there about why the experience OR the pattern of biological actions exists in the first place.
Evopsych gives us the philosophical justification for saying why our brains, minds, physiology, and behavior are the way they are. That obviously can be misused, but the alternative would be that these tendencies, potential experiences, and phenomena just EXIST, period; we have no basis on which to assume a function. It’s the psychological version of saying, “Molars are there for chewing food.”

I guess it’s evolutionary psychology. I would view more as simple evolution. Molars are there for chewing food. The size and number of them have evolved related to diet. Fear responses are there to stimulate fight-or-flight responses to save us from injury. These biological reactions are not necessarily useful in modern life. We don’t really need to know where it all began, because that’s a whole different field of study. 😀

So much of so-called “evolutionary psychology” seems soooo unscientific: basically assumptions based on assumptions. I feel the description has officially become owned by the scientific equivalents of homeopaths.

Not disagreeing with you per se, just my 2c.

P.S. I’m old Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeg!

Falconer
Falconer
11 years ago

@AbominableSnowPickle: I use the Link (email & IM) in the upper left.

guffaw-ferrets
guffaw-ferrets
11 years ago

[I know, I think you said]

Mama, don’t make me beg now …
‘Cause I’m not your reg-ular guy-eye
Don’t be shy!

DO YOU LOVE ME

– Old Gregg, mangina pua

hrovitnir
11 years ago

Ee he he. I’ve always been a bit iffy about the “mangina” part (and the fans who think it is the most hilarious thing ever), but I can’t not love Noel Fielding. Le sigh.

And that song is EPIC. Of course, the worst for getting stuck in your head…

We’ve got the funk
We’ve got that underwater funk
We’ve got the funk
Forget the P-Funk – we got the sea funk

Not you, naan bread!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

AbominableSnowPickle – “I tired to post links to kittehs, but most post got eaten. For you who you Imgur to host your photos, which version of the URL should I use to make them show up here?”

I just click on the pic to blow it up full-screen, then copy the URL and paste it here. The pics won’t show on screen; it’s a precaution against trolls. Sometimes wordpress gets niggly and eats links. It was doing it to me yesterday, too.

guffaw-ferrets
guffaw-ferrets
11 years ago

Yeah, when that first came out of his mouth, my eyes were like “o.0” (not only because I was already familiar with MRA rhetoric) — but I’ve come to accept and appreciate it in this context only over time. It’s not like Noel Fielding is political in any way or direction, and I’m pretty sure he just came up with the skit while piss-drunk or high trying on shiny leggings in the dressing room of an American Apparel store.

At one point, I knew both parts to the Old Gregg/Howard duet and could sing it in its entirety, alternating between a high voice and a higher voice, while I performed the dance steps. What can I say, I have a really good musical memory.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Whoot! Mads has finally granted permission for her pic to show up.

Myoo
Myoo
11 years ago

@AbominableSnowPickle

I tired to post links to kittehs, but most post got eaten. For you who you Imgur to host your photos, which version of the URL should I use to make them show up here?

If the post itself got eaten, you may have put too many links in one post, which triggers the auto spam filter. Try limiting yourself to two or three links per post.

Hrovitnir
11 years ago

guffaw-ferrets | June 24, 2013 at 7:35 pm
Yeah, when that first came out of his mouth, my eyes were like “o.0″ (not only because I was already familiar with MRA rhetoric) — but I’ve come to accept and appreciate it in this context only over time. It’s not like Noel Fielding is political in any way or direction, and I’m pretty sure he just came up with the skit while piss-drunk or high trying on shiny leggings in the dressing room of an American Apparel store.

😀 I LIKE you. They are a bit fond of rapey jokes. I would’ve written them off based on that if I weren’t already in love with them. I find most of Rich’s parts distasteful, though some of them are funny – and the behind the scenes stuff makes me feel like he can be a bit of a bully.

I would still marry Noel and Julian. Both of them, of course. ^_^

At one point, I knew both parts to the Old Gregg/Howard duet and could sing it in its entirety, alternating between a high voice and a higher voice, while I performed the dance steps. What can I say, I have a really good musical memory.

Aaaawesome. I can do most of it… my partner and I can do the soup crimp together, and I remember the bouncy bouncy crimp. My friend can do the tundra one, but she won’t do it for me. 😛

I love how Julian writes all the music; some of it is really awesome. <3

SittieKitty
11 years ago

It irks me something fierce when people addend anything to Evolution. Evolutionary Psychology. Evolutionary Arms Race.

EVOLUTION HAS NO INTENTION OR PERSONA STOP PERSONIFYING IT KTHX!! It’s a fucking natural phenomena that’s used to explain change in population over time. Ugh. So damn annoying.

Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“Ostracism? Isn’t this basically just abandonment, except you take all your MRA friends with you?”

*pops* and your mutual friends which tend to be ALL THE FRIENDS in a long term emotionally abuse relationship

And it’s called evo psych instead of just evolution cuz it’s the evolution of human psychology. Like why evolutionary biology is a thing, basically.

*goes back to data*

SittieKitty
11 years ago

The evolution of human psychology would be looking at change over time, wouldn’t it? Not looking to justify shitty behaviour by saying it’s just bio-truths… Or using “Evo Psych” to explain anything. Evolution of something is basically looking at the history of something, not using history to explain shit now – It’d be like saying “There were these things in the past called farms where food was grown, and that’s why we have grocery stores today! And it’s just that simple!”

SittieKitty
11 years ago

It’s not looking at psychology of the past and how it’s changed over human history (honestly I’m not even sure how you would measure or check that given that psychology is a pretty recent field of study). It’s looking at biological behaviours, labelling them as all natural or outliers, the assigning them psychological attributes to explain why things happen now. Which is several layers of assumption to me that I just …don’t get.

SittieKitty
11 years ago

Although really, to be completely fair, people like PUAs have such a shitty and pathological view of human psychology that I suppose their misuse of evo psych is a small drop in the bucket of filth they aspire to…

AbominableSnowPickle
11 years ago

Thanks for the help everyone! I tried three links in the eaten post, so I ‘ stick to two in this one. One of each of my boys, and then maybe a follow-up post with Chai as well. *deep breath* Hokay, trying again!

This is Bodhi, the reserved and stoic one. I’m really proud of this photo because it shows how absolutely gorgeous he is (Q is gorgeous too, but they’re a little differently shaped)
http://i.imgur.com/0Uh2NFP.jpg

This is his brother, Q! He’s a snowshoe and has an super-outgoing and silly personality. I think it goes with him being a Snowshoe. I had a Snowshoe Meezer before these two and his personality was very different from our purebred Meeze, Chai.
http://i.imgur.com/iOVjLuT.jpg

My boys are two now, and I’ll try to get some more recent pics, as well as a good oneof Chai, because she’s gorgeous and needs to be seen^.^

Hope this works!

AbominableSnowPickle
11 years ago

Ah! one more. Here’s a pretty recent one of both of them. Sorry it’s tlted, I apparently didn’t fix it before I uploaded it. Then I’ll stop the thread-jack^.^

Sleepy boys:
http://i.imgur.com/SfLsEKa.jpg

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

Okay, fuck it, orion’s staggering narcissism and lack of empathy is actually upsetting me now. I need something calming and soothing, so I’ma just go off on my own happy tangent on Strong Female Characters.

Gigi has been HUGE into the American McGee’s Alice games, and I just realized that they’re horror games with a female protagonist who isn’t sexualized ONCE during the games’ run. Not once! The first game has absolutely NO sexual content at all–not even subtext or innuendo or revealing costumes. The second game has sexual violence, but they never happen to Alice herself, only the people around her. I really appreciated that there was this well-acclaimed horror games about women where NONE of the horror for her is sexual!

katz
11 years ago

Those are very pretty boys.

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