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advocacy of violence alpha males creepy domestic violence douchebaggery evo psych fairy tales grandiosity heartiste men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA racism

Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347004274779242497

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:
https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347007119414947840

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349246709110550528

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349630783830499328

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

So basically what you’re saying is that being a tough guy from South Central is his fantasy?

I did ask him to stop wanking in public.

Zombie Marie
Zombie Marie
7 years ago

@LBT

You know what, I changed my mind. Now that you want the hug, I don’t think I want to give it to you. Have feminist metal instead.

Well, Greg probably won’t like it, but feminist metal is like hugs for me 😀

@kittehs

In much happier news, it’s my birthday!

Yay! Happy Birthday! 😀

Now I’m 50, can I officially go into Get Off My Lawn mode when necessary?

You’re almost as old as my mom 😛 ::feels like a baby:: And, on the note of birthdays, here is some penguin (whore) cake* I made, inspired by manboobz of course: http://kitti47.deviantart.com/art/Penguin-Cake-363397624

*Note: just penguins, but we all know penguins are actually whores.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

LOL suggestive indeed, cloudiah! 😀

I don’t know if Louis has anything in mind for tonight (well, apart from the obvious) but it’ll feel like this anyway. (That’s a shot of a party Philippe threw, oh, last year I think.)

Zombie Marie
Zombie Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

For some reason that pictures is filling me with D’awwws and I don’t know why.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Penguin whore cake, yum!

Fade
7 years ago

@katz

I would go so far as to say that, logically, there should be no difference, because logically finding out that a kid was being abused should piss you off.

It took me a minute to understand that, because I was still thinking of trollboy. X| I was like “no, I don’t think that’s what he (greg) said… i think she’d have to ‘disrespect’ him first…”

@pecunium

I just saw the other thread he showed up in.

my curiosity is waging war with my sense of disgust…

*sigh*

Which thread?

And, on a much happier note, Happy Birthday, Kitteh!

Re: the asshole line from Greg.

I can’t tell whether it was over the line, even for him, because literally everything he said felt like over the line

Zombie Marie
Zombie Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

Penguin whore cake, yum!

I know I started this, but that combination is giving me way too a big fit of giggles.

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Argenti

I wrote that story specifically because Christmas in this system has become a pretty miserable occasion, and seriously, I know of NO Christmas story where someone has valid reason to be unhappy about Christmas where the answer isn’t, “MOAR CHRISTMAS!”

pecunium
7 years ago

History of Feminism. Didn’t get the level of response he wanted, so he came here to step up the rhetoric. Pretty standard stuff: the SPLC is a hate group or some such.

Fade
7 years ago

Ah. Well, I think I’ll let that summary stand and not read any more of trolly’s bs.

katz
7 years ago

Also, happy birthday, Kitteh!

Zombie Marie
Zombie Marie
7 years ago

@LBT

I finally got around to hearing that feminist metal song you linked to and I loved it! Feminist music makes me ridiculously happy. 😀

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

*sigh*

X makes me miserable
You just need more X!!!

No, never, go away now.

Viscaria
Viscaria
7 years ago

Happy birthday Kittehs!

Fade
7 years ago

@Argenti

Ouch, who said that? They sound kind of… not good.

Or did I just miss something that someone else said in this thread?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Thank you everyone, again!

::feels like is having an online birthday party::

🙂

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Zombie Marie

Glad you liked it! Metal isn’t really my thing, but I enjoy that song.

RE: Fade

Argenti was referencing a story I wrote, in a series zie really likes. I was having a big bad case of the Christmas blues (which happens when you have no family, no money, and no home on motherfucking Christmas) so I wrote a story about people who also have reason to hate Christmas and finding a way to turn it into something positive in a way completely unrelated to the holiday. I wrote it in part because I kept running into, “You hate Christmas? Well what you need is a dose of CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!”

Fade
7 years ago

@LBT

ah, I was just confused. :

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

And no, LBT (and the IS crew) needed cute little killer beetle larvae and dinosaurs. Which really sounds better to me even without the details! (Which I’m going to refrain from thinking about as I’m about to grab food before DAAAAATTTTAAAAA)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Thanks, katz! 🙂

Myoo
Myoo
7 years ago

Happy birthday, Kitteh! (sorry if it’s late, I only just caught up on the thread)

LBT
LBT
7 years ago

RE: Argenti

Unstable Housing! (Bonus sketch will have to wait until tomorrow.)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Thanks, Myoo! 🙂

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Whoot! Banana cake has been produced at work!

Zombie Marie
Zombie Marie
7 years ago

@kittehs

Yummy!

Speaking of cake, I have to make a whole one (decorated) tomorrow :/ *sigh*

It’s fun, but a lot of work. At least me and my mom (and fade!) piled our monies for a fancy mixer! 😀 (making icing= not fun)

and that got rambly. Sowwyz.

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

See, I’m kind of pissed, because this summer I’ve had to deal with assholes catcalling me and giving me creepy leers from their cars, which is actually demoralizing (and dehumanizing) and Greggy here is making some damn hypothetical here to give excuses on why he should hit woman.

Seriously, should I be beating the shit out of every man that cat calls me? Should I have taken on the guy that called me a cunt at a party a few weeks ago? And then if I slapped him would he have been justified in beating the shit out of me? Where does the cycle end? Why don’t we all just shoot each other? That’ll REALLY teach ’em a lesson!

Professionals and bloggers don’t know crap about how to deal with abusers. That’s why the victim usually ends up dead, severly injured, or scarred for life.

Uhh, normally women who have been abused end up severely injured or scarred for life because, in self defense, they swung back, and their abusive partner used your mental gymnastics to claim “the bitch deserved it” and hospitalized her. The last thing you want to do to an abuser is give them an excuse to hit you more.

Alright. I’ll take your word for it. (not sarcasm, to clarify.) It’s just not something I’ve ever seen happen, and no way I was trusting Trolly on it.

I mean, it’s reality. There are shitty people out there, period. Doesn’t justify violence against them. Doesn’t mean that you should lump other people of their sex in with them just because you’ve come across some shitty people of that sex. That’s the problem with what this guy is saying. It’s not the acknowledgement of female abusers (I know of three off the top of my head in my own life) that is the problem, it’s justifying violence against them and generalizing an entire sex (and singling out people for their race and class) because of them. The truth is, I know those three white female abusers and they stick out like a sore thumb because they’re abusing people I love and care about, but I know way more women who aren’t abusers, so I know better than to think that they’re representative of women as a whole. I also know just as many, if not more male abusers. It’s not RIGHT what they’re doing, but when you abuse them right back, or escalate verbal abuse to physical retaliation, you no longer have a leg to stand on in saying you’re any better than that person.

It depends on what the person did. If the person did some extremely foul crap, then it’s okay to call DCFS on them or to get them jumped.

No, it’s ok to call DCFS on a person if they are abusing their kids. And, as someone else already pointed out, the fact that you chose to call them, not because they were being abused, but because she was disrespecting you, speaks volumes about you as a person. Had she never disrespected you, you would have just let her go on abusing her kids? Classy.

This thread grew ridiculously long while I was sleeping.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Late to the party here, but happy birthday Kitten!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Thanks, Dvarg! 🙂

Jessay (@jessay)
7 years ago

Being on welfare and instigating shit because you feel entitled to shit that doesn’t belong to you is being uncooth and demonic.

So those not on welfare who instigate shit are cool? What does welfare have to do with being an asshole? Nothing. You’re just on some classist shit. If someone is an asshole, they’re an asshole. No need to make low blows at them for being in a financially disadvantaged position.

For all you rag on people of lower income, I’d love to hear your thoughts on the abusive, manipulative heads of corporations and politicians who have created the class of the working poor which leads to the elusive “welfare queen” you despise so much. The people who do very little work and profit off the hard labor of those who can’t even afford the products they’re producing and selling. The ones who are forced by the companies they work for to get government assistance because, even though they could still turn a huge profit if they paid their employees a fair wage and offered health insurance, they employ them for just under enough hours to qualify for insurance. What about those people? Do they have the right to get in your face without getting hit? Or do you simply target the lower income people who couldn’t take you to court if they wanted to?

JFC, you’re a piece of work.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

We’re thinking this is probably the Boston baby socking again, Jessay. Little tool trying out yet another of his “let’s pretend” personae.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I knew I had a cake picture somewhere. 🙂

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

Oy, weren’t you supposed to be going shopping?

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Yup, that was three hours ago. Got the watch band I was after but the rest of the mall I was looking in was all sports clothes outlets. Blech!

Kittehserf
7 years ago

LOL love it!

I reckon Mads would have the same expression if I knitted her a sweater. 😛

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

In my experience, dogs seem to enjoy wearing clothing much more than their feline friends.

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

oh, Mama dog says Happy Birthday to you and hi to the kitties.

http://i.imgur.com/MLiEMea.jpg

SittieKitty
7 years ago

Wow. I missed a lot after I derailed this thread into art…

I know we’re ignoring him, but I notice no one called out Mr. Asshole on the idea that rape should only be charged in instances where there is DNA and obvious trauma? Just wanted to say that was bullshit and that’s approx. where I stopped reading his shit, which means I missed most of the violent rhetoric (which I am a-ok with).

Happy belated Birthday Kitteh!!

And my deviant art page: http://sittiekitty.deviantart.com/

And I’m gonna rerail this back into art: http://www.artgraffiti.info/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/3d-wall-graffiti-street.jpg holy crap!

SittieKitty
7 years ago

Oh! And Amnesia, your art is also awesome. I like the person surrounded by glasses, and the insert of the girl at the window. Those are great!

pecunium
7 years ago

I’m sure he’s not from California. In California it’s not DCFS, it’s Child Protective Services.

Whoever it is, is a liar.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

It’s DCFS here, I think (CT)

katz
7 years ago

I’m sure he’s not from California. In California it’s not DCFS, it’s Child Protective Services.

Whoever it is, is a liar.

Alas, in LA county it appears to be DCFS.

Still pretty likely he’s not from California, though.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Thanks, SittieKitty! Art’s much better than that scumbag troll’s rantings, fersure.

Success story! I finished the jumper I was making for my hairdresser this week, and here she is wearing it.

http://i.imgur.com/bPTr0Yt.jpg

SittieKitty
7 years ago

Wow. I can’t imagine how long that must have taken Kitteh. That’s amazing…

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@kitteh

What a nice jumper! 😀 Looks so cozy.

Amnesia
Amnesia
7 years ago

Okay, due to popular demand (and katz’s “JOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN UUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS” continually haunting me in my everyday life), I have revived my seven year-old deviant account that only had two pictures in it anyway. Now it has eleven. I guess it’s an improvement. *shrugs*

So, here’s my page: http://asmi-chan.deviantart.com

Kittehserf
7 years ago

SittieKitty, Marie – thanks! 🙂

It took a couple of months, maybe? I can’t remember when I started it, but it wasn’t until the weather cooled down, so probably April-May. I don’t do a huge amount of knitting per day, just on the train home and an hour or so in the evenings. Weekends I get distracted by this blog site you may have heard of …

Marie
Marie
7 years ago

@Amnesia

Okay, due to popular demand (and katz’s “JOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNN UUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSSS” continually haunting me in my everyday life), I have revived my seven year-old deviant account that only had two pictures in it anyway. Now it has eleven. I guess it’s an improvement. *shrugs*

Yay! 😀 Added.