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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

Based on the logic of the posters here, women can do nothing wrong, and everything is the man’s fault.

LO-fucking-L. Women can do lots of things wrong, Greg (champion of abusers everywhere). That doesn’t change the fact that domestic violence against women performed by men is, in fact, that man’s fault.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

@hrovitnir LOVE the IT Crowd. Also love Darkplace which features a few people from both Boosh and IT Crowd

F-ing brilliant. There are quite a few “stupid women” jokes in it but they’re, I believe, at the expense of people who make stupid women joke and not at women.

I really just love British Comedy. IT Crowd has some iffy stuff, like going to court over the mesuse kissing Roy’s bottom and the whole Douglas sexual harassment angle, but eh… most of it gets away with the whole “this guy is just horrible and it’s funny at his expense” angle.

One of my fave parts was when Jenn acted as Fredo and they played D&D and Moss role played as Roy’s ex and said goodbye. That scene was so amazing.

And I also love Richard Ayoade in Boosh. His contemptuous relationship with Tony Harrison is so hilarious. And different characters reference Tusk multiple times throughout the series.

I also watch the Inbetweeners and the Misfits which are reeeeeaaallllly offensive but hilarious. I can’t help it. It’s like British people can say anything so long as they do it in that accent and I’ll lose my shit. Misfits comes with a MASSIVE trigger warning, so much rapey shit and so many characters who are the token offensive asshole. My dream man, Joe Gilgun, plays one of the offensive assholes. It’s quite the predicament watching that show. Though it helps that he has a literal split personality that is sensitive and dissects his asshole nature.

The only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when she being extremely disrespectful, violent, breaking his material posessions, or asking to be hit in order to prove to her that he isn’t a punk.

Proving you’re not a punk is never a reason to hit someone and is a character flaw on the person’s behalf. Breaking stuff? JFC, call the cops, get her arrested for vandalization. Being disrespectful? The fuck is wrong with you?

The only reason for anyone to ever hit anyone else is in self defense in order to subdue the attacker within reason if they cannot escape. I don’t care how many times someone asks me to hit them, if I’m not in danger, I’m not justified.

A real woman doesn’t think that a man is soft or a punk, because he doesn’t smack her. She doesn’t act like a psycho towards him in order to get him to hit her.

So there are three options when the woman is acting like a “psycho:”

1. Break up with her
2. Help her get professional help if she is legitimately mentally ill
3. Hit her

Guess which one of those things is illegal and immoral? Guess which one you shouldn’t do?

I’m talking about a woman who gets in a man’s face and starts demoralizing him just for the hell of it.

So you’re 12 or a grown man because if you’re 12 maybe you can get away with being this childish and immature, if not, you have the physical and mental ability to remove yourself from a situation in which you are in no danger and doing so is the only reasonable option. Everything else makes you just as bad if not worse than she is.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

If you find yourself having to demoralize a guy, then just leave him alone. You’re not obgliated to be with him. Why be a bully towards a guy? The same goes for guys. Why call a woman out of her name, and still be with her?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

If I admit that Greg’s pathetic attempts to hurt our feelings by projecting his own misery onto us amuse me does that make me a horrible person? Because every comment he makes pretty much reads as I’M SO BITTER AND ANGRY AND MISERABLE, WON’T YOU JOIN ME IN THAT FEELING?

Sorry, Greg, no can do.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

LMFAO

All environments aren’t the same.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

You people are comical.
What’s opinion what Wanetta Gibson did to Brian Banks?

WalkingStickBug
WalkingStickBug
11 years ago

The only time you should have to put your hands on another person is in self defense. Nothing else is acceptable, including women bruising your ego.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

I take immense pleasure in the fact that attitudes like yours, Greg, are disappearing. You may think that secretly every other man out there is a cheerleader for abuse like you, but you’re damn wrong.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

If a woman slaps me, and I didn’t instigate being hit, I’m knocking her out. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

You don’t care what the jury thinks when they lock you away for assault? So badass. I wish I could be as cool and carefree as you.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

If you find yourself having to demoralize a guy, then just leave him alone. You’re not obgliated to be with him. Why be a bully towards a guy? The same goes for guys. Why call a woman out of her name, and still be with her?

If a woman is demoralizing a man, she is wrong. If a man retaliates by hitting her, he is MORE wrong. You see how two people can be wrong at the same time?

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Calling cops in South Central Los Angeles doesn’t work.

This crap is laughable.

Do you people think this country is one huge suburbia? No low income areas, no ghettos, no psychotic women who intentionally target men who they see as easy targets, and etc?

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

this country

Welcome to the Internet let me tell you a thing

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

BLOCKQUOOOOOOTESS!!!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

“All environments aren’t the same.”

Indeed. It’s hot and humid here. Probably hot and dry in the dessert. Don’t know if it’s humid in Australia currently, but I know it’s winter down there. And that’s not even touching things like rainforests!

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

Do you think people don’t beat the shit out of each other in suburbia over bruised egos as well? I’d like you to meet my little brother who is a giant piece of shit, starting fights all the time, who was raised with a silver spoon in his mouth. How you choose to react to situations is what determines your character and if you choose to escalate situations and go beyond what is reasonably necessary to protect yourself you are not only morally wrong but legally wrong.

Briznecko
Briznecko
11 years ago

Speaking of environments not being the same, it’s hot and humid as fuck here. Where is it in the low 80s with no humidity?

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

MRAbot still trying? Poor MRAbot.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Greg isn’t so much moving the goalposts as he is juggling them while spinning in circles.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Most cops wouldn’t even take a domestic violence call seriously unless a weapon is used or if there is a life threatening injury. BtW, I am talking about in urban areas where women are known to be abusive towards men they see as soft.

Back in 2001, I called the cops on my ex girlfriend for threatening to get her cousin to anally rape me. The cops didn’t do crap about it.

Now if a man made the same threat towards a woman, he would be thrown under the jail.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Briznecko: if you find that place, please let me know. ATX is going to be 104 or some such nonsense today.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

Gregbot: cool story, bro.

katz
11 years ago

Walking away from a hoodrat in the hood will get you shot in the back, stabbed, or robbed later on down the road.

This has been your daily reminder that, where there’s sexism, there’s racism.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Oh gods the mixed metaphors!!

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

You’re right, he would get thrown in jail over hearsay because that always is the outcome. He said/she said always works in the woman’s favor and is never dismissed for lack of evidence.

cloudiah
11 years ago

See, we don’t think it’s okay to excuse non-consensual, non-defensive violence because it happens in South LA*, because we think people of color deserve to live in non-violent neighborhoods too.

*Note to those who aren’t Angelenos, “South Central Los Angeles” (or the more common usage South Los Angeles) is a region of the city that is about 98% POC; about 67% latin@, about 31% African American as of 2010.

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