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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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chibigodzilla
11 years ago

Some crazy women ask to be hit.

Is she literally asking to be hit, or “asking to be hit” as in her abuser is claiming that something about her behaviour is subtly indicating to him that she wants to be hit?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

cloudiah
11 years ago

That song is surprisingly catchy.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The little ball of hate seems to have burned himself out for now, yay.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Her behavior. No, I am not talking about a disagreement. I’m talking about a woman who gets in a man’s face and starts demoralizing him just for the hell of it. I have never put hands on a woman, but I have had lady friends of mine beat the mess out of women who disrespected me in front of them.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

I’m talking about a woman who gets in a man’s face and starts demoralizing him just for the hell of it.

So, her behavior then.

As Viscaria said, you’ve given every abuser a get out of jail free card here. The abuser just needs to say “well she was disrespecting me” and all of the sudden they’re in the clear by your bullshit standards.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Greg, honey, are you under the impression that anyone here cares what you think? You poor deluded child.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

Oops, I red that as “Her behavior, no.” not “Her behavior. No, […]

Main point still stands.

Amnesia
Amnesia
11 years ago

Because I missed the rest of the art share with my hit&run commenting style, here’s a few of my pieces and their uncreative titles.

Drunk in Charcoal
Cave Dwellers in Chalk Pastel
Girl in Bay Window in Pencil
Belmont in Oil Paint

Feast your eyes on my interpretation of ‘Stylistic Messy!’ In multiple mediums, no less!

Amnesia
Amnesia
11 years ago

Ah, damn, normally I’m so careful about links. Excuse me while I go do penance to the HTML goddesses and gods.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Based on the logic of the posters here, women can do nothing wrong, and everything is the man’s fault.

Have fun with your house or apartment full of cats, or being tossed in the never ending friend’s zone.

You people will be single for life.

Best of luck.

Jessay (@jessay)
11 years ago

My boyfriend is allergic to cats, sorry Greg, you’re wrong.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

1/10, flounce made me feel vaguely sorry for the troll. It must suck to be that stupid.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

@Greg: The logic here is that you should not be hitting another person (man or woman) unless they are physically attacking you or it is part of safe, mutually consensual play.

Have fun with your house or apartment full of cats, or being tossed in the never ending friend’s zone.

Oh the horror of horrors! To be doomed to a life with cats and friends, how could someone ever live a life like that!?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I have a feeling that Greg has made a tactical error in suggesting that women can be friendzoned. He better hope that no incels notice that he said that.

WalkingStickBug
WalkingStickBug
11 years ago

No Greg. That is just what you want women to believe so they will put up with men like you.

auggziliary
auggziliary
11 years ago

Greg, if a man hits a woman(outside self defense, and it has to be reasonable. Like if she slaps him and he cannot walk away, then whatever gets her to stop is OK. However any further is wrong, like beating her, since that’s clearly not self defense). , then yes, it was his fault.
I don’t understand your logic. You accuse us of making women into angels and men into demons, yet you are excusing male a users simply because she was provoking him. Calling out how wrong that is doesn’t mean we hate men, and think women can never be wrong. That’s complete bullshit and you know it.
It just means that we know men aren’t beasts who have to hit people when they “get in his face”, and that women should not have to fear being beaten for not taking every measure to protect a man’s tender fee-fees.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

Also, if I have other, non-feline pets is that still a terrible/lonely/sad/whatever thing? Are chickens okay? What about lizards? Tarantulas?

auggziliary
auggziliary
11 years ago

Also, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. We talk about feminism quite a bit, and we are happy together.
I’m a hell of a lot less lonely than freaks like you, who whine about how they don’t have a super submissive girlfriend, and how they never get laid because women are sluts who want alpha males.
You are an abuse apologist, and no woman loves that. Have fun never finding a satisfying relationship because you cannot find your “real woman”. The closest thing you’ll get to one is a blow doll.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Some day I would like to have a malamute. I presume that, much like jobs, this would mean that I would be stealing the dog from a more deserving man.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Some women and men need to get a beatdown in order to stop doing stupid crap. Calling the cops don’t work, walking away doesn’t work, and ignoring the BS doesn’t. All environments aren’t alike. Walking away from a hoodrat in the hood will get you shot in the back, stabbed, or robbed later on down the road. In some sitiations, you have to beat someone down in order to show that you mean business.

Outside of the hood is totally differently. I have lived in both worlds. I never had to put hands on woman, and I use to get bullied by hoodrats, because I wouldn’t them back.

If a woman slaps me, and I didn’t instigate being hit, I’m knocking her out. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

If a woman slaps me, and I didn’t instigate being hit, I’m knocking her out. I don’t care what anyone thinks.

Those goalposts heavy, Greg?

Bostonian
Bostonian
11 years ago

I guess my spouse of 16 years and two beautiful, smart children are not real, because I am a feminist.

Good to know!

I do own four mice now! (no cats, spouse is allergic)

Salt(one of my original two) Melody, Harmony, and Treble Clef.

I am glad no one is actually dating Greg Wright, because beating people is wrong.

Amnesia
Amnesia
11 years ago

Oh noes! I’ll never be with a guy who thinks it’s okay to beat me up when I ‘demoralize’ him! I’ll have to live alone with my adorably fluffy and friendly cat forever, only getting human interaction when I go to work, visit my family/friends, or go out in public on my own terms! The horror!

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

@AUG

I have been married for 10 years. I’m not an abuser apologist. I support self defense. Don’t start none, and there won’t be none.

If I got in a 6’7 350 pound biker’s face, and got my face slammed, I would be at fault.

I’m posting from my phone, so don’t bother me about grammar or spelling.

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