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Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Hard chairs are certainly easier, no wrinkly cushions (of misandry).

Wait…hard chairs are misandry. Throw pillows are misandry…

What’s one supposed to sit on?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

“What’s one supposed to sit on?”

This!

Marie
11 years ago

@kittehs

“I fail drawing most object, besides ‘chair-ish item’ or ‘couch like’ thing.”

I hope they’re hard chairs.

O don’t worry, they are! XD (Mostly from my lack of ability to draw many cushions, but lets pretend it’s intentional. I get more Evul Feminist points that way.)

Kittehserf
11 years ago

When I drew cushions I just went for the “it’s already squashed out of shape” option. 😛

Fade
Fade
11 years ago

I’m kind of lurking for this conversation, but I just wanted to add that I am loving looking at everyone’s art. And kitteh, you have incredible pencil skills. XD And Argenti, I am totally jealous of your paint skills (I would like to be able to traditional paint, but right now what I do is mostly color w/ tablet)

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Fade — thanks, that’s charcoal and chalk on that purple-ish paper though 🙂

And I kinda love my tablet too, undo button ftw!

Fade
Fade
11 years ago

Haha, sorry. no idea why I thought it was paint. XD

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I thought it was paint too!

Fade, thank you. Those skills are pretty rusty, I haven’t bothered drawing in years. I so love being able to do portraits in PhotoStudio that drawing just doesn’t compare, not for what I want to depict.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

… comes back to complete thought, as usual:

I mean, it’s not a drive to draw, or paint, for me: it’s the drive to depict the subject. I haven’t the drawing or painting skills to do it as I want, to show anything like what I see. I haven’t the knowledge of anatomy or the skills to show something like this, for example. (Mildly NSFW: man sitting in bath.) Manipulating photos has its own limitations but it’s so. much. better. for what I want to do. When they work, they’re pictures I can just stare at, and that wasn’t really the case with my drawings, pleased though I was with many of them.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Talent, you guys has it!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Awww! 🙂

cloudiah
11 years ago

Our kitties are staring at each other again, Double awww!

Kittehserf
11 years ago

We’d better be careful. Double the kitty power is dangerous. Don’t cross the streams stares!

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

The only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when she being extremely disrespectful, violent, breaking his material posessions, or asking to be hit in order to prove to her that he isn’t a punk.

If you as a man have to hit a woman in order to retain her, then you need to toss her aside for a real woman.

arubakeru
arubakeru
11 years ago

@Greg

I’m curious, what is a “real woman” according to you.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

MRAbot comment on every thread, not make sense in any of them. MRAbot broken, needs firmware upgrade.

arubakeru
arubakeru
11 years ago

@Greg

You know what? Don’t answer, I think I don’t want to know after all.

chibigodzilla
11 years ago

I dunno Cassandra, that sounds like a pretty good approximation of MRA behavior to me.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

The only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when she being extremely disrespectful,

Nooope.

violent,

Potentially.

breaking his material posessions,

Nope nope nope you DV apologist.

or asking to be hit in order to prove to her that he isn’t a punk.

Is she literally asking to be hit, or “asking to be hit” as in her abuser is claiming that something about her behaviour is subtly indicating to him that she wants to be hit? If it is the latter, noooooooooope, and also congratulations, you’ve given abusers a get-out-of-jail-free card that works in EVERY INSTANCE you despicable asshole.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

A real woman doesn’t think that a man is soft or a punk, because he doesn’t smack her. She doesn’t act like a psycho towards him in order to get him to hit her.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Yeah, Greg seems to be your garden variety MRA. A malfunctioning MRAbot would make for an amusing short story though.

Viscaria
Viscaria
11 years ago

A much less wordy way to put what Greg is saying is “the only time a woman needs to be hit by a man is when that man wants to hit that woman.”

cloudiah
11 years ago

By “act like a psycho” Greg undoubtedly means “express opinions at variance with a man’s”.

Blech.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

MRAbot now arguing with imaginary commenters, firmware upgrade seems to have been a success.

Greg Wright
Greg Wright
11 years ago

Some crazy women ask to be hit.

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