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advocacy of violence alpha males creepy domestic violence douchebaggery evo psych fairy tales grandiosity heartiste men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny PUA racism

Heartiste: Men need to be able to hit their mates in order to “retain” them

A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.
A better way to retain your mate: Be a sharp-dressed man.

You may know Heartiste as a reactionary, misogynistic, proudly racist dispenser of manipulative, sometimes abusive dating advice to would-be “alpha males.”

Did you also know that he was an open advocate of domestic violence against women?

Well, I didn’t, until a friend pointed out a strange little exchange on his Twitter account the other day.

Last Tuesday morning, apropos of nothing in particular, Heartiste made the following pronouncement:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347004274779242497

When someone asked what sort of threats he meant, he elaborated:
https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/347007119414947840

The latter three items on the list (“Abandonment. Shame. Ostracism”) are standard techniques in Heartiste’s dating strategy, but the open advocacy of violence is, I think, new.

In addition to being repugnant, Heartiste’s argument here doesn’t even particularly make sense. Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.

Also, the phrase “mate retention strategy,” apparently popular with Evo Psych types, gives me the creeps. I’m pretty sure the best “mate retention strategy” is to be the sort of person your “mate” wants to be in a relationship with.

I did a quick search for the phrase, and found numerous references to two academic studies. One suggested that some women fake orgasms as a “mate retention strategy.” Another possibly more revealing one claimed that men of “low mate value” often insult their mates to lower their self-esteem so they won’t feel confident enough to leave. That seems more or less in line with what Heartiste’s general approach. And certainly, by any reasonable definition of the term, Heartiste and his followers are some pretty “low value” people, both as “mates” and as decent human beings generally.

I also found this reference to research by Evo Psych big daddy David Buss suggesting that violence — surprise! — isn’t actually a particularly effective “mate retention strategy.”

Also, beating up your mate is, you know, just generally a pretty shitty thing to do.

If Heartiste takes his tweets down, I’ve got screenshots.

EDITED TO ADD: Heartiste has really been going wild with the Twitter lately.

Here he claims to have invented the term “hivemind.”

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349246709110550528

After I pointed out that this belief was delusional, he suggested that I kill myself. Very alpha!

He’s also been on a bit of a racist rampage, posting lots of stuff like this:

https://twitter.com/heartiste/status/349630783830499328

See also here, here, here, here, and here.

Phrasing your racism in pseudoscientific terms doesn’t make it right, dude. It just makes you a pretentious racist.

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bookdragonette
bookdragonette
7 years ago

I… what? Yeah, I got nothing, apart from not feeling surprised, at all. I mean, this is the guy who said you should threaten to harm your partner’s pets to keep her from leaving you.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Hot damn, that’s gross. I just can’t understand the amount of sheer doucheyness that’s needed to actually support a worldview like this.

How has Heartiste not collapsed into a singularity of doucheitude? Science would like to know.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Roissy’s a grad-e A crap human being. This may be the worst thing he’s written, and that’s saying a lot.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
7 years ago

WAH MY GIRLFRIEND MIGHT LEAVE ME SHE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO DO THAT!!!

These guys are pathetic.

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

So, remember how Amanda posted on PUAs and the Kickstarter thing?

The trolls are out of the woodwork, naturally.

One in particular started by saying how REASONABLE he was, and how he just wanted to discuss MOERATE PUA things, it’s not all about rape stuff, maaaaaan.

Then, after 15 comments, somebody asked him about how useful these techniques would be on her.

“It would waste their time attempting to break a woman so aware and opposed to pick-up artists (“girls like you”)”

These fucking guys…

totient
totient
7 years ago

“Essentially, he seems to be saying that men need to be able to hit women to keep them in line so that they won’t have to … hit women to keep them in line.”

I read it more like “Men need to be able to make credible threats that they will, among other things, hit women, otherwise they will have to resort to actually hitting them to show that they mean business.” Not that it’s any better of course. This whole mate retention stuff obviously comes from a place of some pretty profound insecurity.

Christo
Christo
7 years ago

He is one messed up human being.

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

“Credible mate retention threats” uuuuuggggghhhhh *pukes everywhere*

inurashii
inurashii
7 years ago

Seriously the cutesy slang that these contemptible garbage monsters come up with is so disgusting

leftwingfox
7 years ago

Howard: Yeah, I noticed a few more coming out of the woodwork over there, and may jump back in. (I’m on Discus with my real name. Won’t mention it here to keep up the paper Google wall, but the icon similarities probably give it away.)

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Husband has an incredible memory for my stated preferences, so if I mention in passing, in whatever context, that I like or would like to have a certain thing, he’ll still remember it months later. So when my birthday or Christmas comes up, he’ll buy that thing for me as a gift, and since I won’t remember by then that I said that, I’ll be happily surprised.

I’ve found that many women who hear about this are very impressed by Husband’s memory skills, so I throw this out there, for anyone reading this blog, as a suggestion for a probably successful mating retention strategy. Although Roissy would probably think that this is a strategy for manginas.

Ally S
7 years ago

[TW: domestic violence]

…I really fucking hope this asshole doesn’t have any female partners.

I mean, I’m always repulsed by MRA misogyny, but this time what I’m reading really upsets me a personal level because my mom recently told me about an instance of physical abuse she suffered from my dad when she was married to him. (She came back from the grocery store late once, and when my dad confronted her about that, she pointed out that he used to stay out late with his friends as well and all she was doing was shopping. And then he gave her a black eye.)

Fuck this guy.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

I know a few guys who quit reading Roissy (er, Heartiste) because of his racism, but are just not bothered by his sexism based on assfax cloaked in sciency words (the Deepak Chopra of misogyny? Ok, I digress)… Of course, racism is a good reason to ditch him already, but I find the double standard against bigotry odd.

Anyhow, these tweets sound like monsieur Heartiste is admitting to being full of shit, no? Since his entire blog is about teaching white men to gaslight women and feel superior to PoC, he’s pretty transparent about his ‘strategy’ IMO.

Also, I’m pretty sure he’s tweeted that rape and DV is proof that brown people are inferior, since it’s always their fault. I feel dirty just repeating his bullshit (and my choice of words is a lot kinder, I just can’t). Those assfax are really flexible, I guess.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Nobody actually listens to this guy, right? He doesn’t have “fans” or anything, right? Right?

Ugh . . . this world . . .

Andrew Johnston
7 years ago

I thought women were supposed to seek out and throw themselves at “alphas”? Doesn’t the apologia for DV conflict with that? Man, it’s enough to make a guy think that PUA is really just an excuse to justify coercive and all-around shitty behavior.

Ally S
7 years ago

I posted this before, but here’s a sink kitty for anyone who needs brain bleach: http://i.imgur.com/EbjBiZ3.jpg

Kittehserf
7 years ago

I’d go further than saying it’s Roissy being a horrible, disgusting human being (which he is) and further than screaming insecurity about being left – I’d say it’s the active desire to have someone to terrorise. I don’t think he wants to keep a woman around and will do whatever he thinks it takes: I think he specifically wants to be an abuser. Someone staying around because she liked him (not likely to happen anyway) wouldn’t fit the bill for him at all.

Andrew Johnston
7 years ago

@MaudeLL: He’s a racist on top of everything else? Although, it does make sense – bigotry is always a package deal, no one hates just one group of people.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Andrew, if I understand these theories correctly, women will constantly seek the man who’s currently got the highest status of all, but since status fluctuates a bit it means women might go after man A one week, when he’s the absolute leader of the pack, but next week status might have fluctuated so that man A is number two and man B is the absolute pack leader, and that week women will throw themselves at man B instead. That’s why it’s difficult to keep a woman faithful to you.

I can’t keep the different Manboobs David quotes from separated, so I don’t know if it was Roissy or someone else, but I’m pretty certain at least some of these douches have explained female behaviour along the above lines…

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Roissy, a hypocrite?
::entire worldview collapses::

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Brain bleach is a good idea, Ally.

Here are the Furrinati approving of our cold winter (coldest in a decade, so far).

Fribs

Mads

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Andrew, if I understand these theories correctly, women will constantly seek the man who’s currently got the highest status of all, but since status fluctuates a bit it means women might go after man A one week, when he’s the absolute leader of the pack, but next week status might have fluctuated so that man A is number two and man B is the absolute pack leader, and that week women will throw themselves at man B instead. That’s why it’s difficult to keep a woman faithful to you.

Oh, does that mean the only reason I’m not chasing anyone other than Mr K is ‘cos he’s a king and nobody’s more alpha than that? (Well, except emperors and I can’t think of any emperors offhand I’d fancy.)

Damn, and here I thought it was that we loved each other. Live and learn.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Kitten, yes, that is undoubtedly the reason. And the only reason I’m faithful to my non-royal husband must be that I’m so hideously old (36) that nobody else would want me anyway.

eumenidis
eumenidis
7 years ago

Funny, I’ve seen all those methods called “child abuse” when adults use them on children; wonder if the evo psych people would call them “child retention strategies” & explain that they’re ways for “low value parents” to keep the kids from leaving.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

I wonder if the Swedish king is some kind of role model for these PUA assholes? I mean, he’s king (pretty alpha I guess), plus this: http://groupieblog.wordpress.com/2010/11/05/royal-groupie/ (it’s rumoured that she wasn’t the only one either…)

Ally S
7 years ago

I’d go further than saying it’s Roissy being a horrible, disgusting human being (which he is) and further than screaming insecurity about being left – I’d say it’s the active desire to have someone to terrorise. I don’t think he wants to keep a woman around and will do whatever he thinks it takes: I think he specifically wants to be an abuser. Someone staying around because she liked him (not likely to happen anyway) wouldn’t fit the bill for him at all.

I agree completely. This guy thinks he’s entitled to be an asshole for the sake of getting his way.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

[tw – racism, rape]
Andrew-
Yeah, he’s big on the ‘biological’ inferiority of non-whites (with particular hatred against hispanic, black and middle eastern people). A lot of evobabble. I remember a few posts and tweets about how non-racist white women invited rape unto themselves, because non-white men just can’t help raping, because evolution. Liberal PC blindness to REAL SCIENCE or something. And biologists are too scared to tell the TRUTH!!!1!

guffaw-ferrets
guffaw-ferrets
7 years ago

Here is a video of me pursuing the highest-value mate. As you can see, it does fluctuate.

Which one is me, you ask? Why, all of us. I am all of us and all of us are me.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Aaah! Mads and Fribs are so cute!

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

1. Everyone here is David
2. guffaw-ferrets is actually a group of ferrets in a tub of packing peanuts
3. Therefore, David is a group of ferrets in a tub of packing peanuts.

How deep this rabbit hole goes! Clearly the jumping around is how we write comments.

chibigodzilla
7 years ago

Every time there’s a post about Heartiste, I automatically think of calling him “Fartiste”. Because I am apparently 12 years old.

Patrick O.
Patrick O.
7 years ago

Heartiste is a sociopath and proud of it.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

Thank you for the adorable kitties, everyone who posted adorable kitties. I really needed the brain bleach too.

Yellaine
Yellaine
7 years ago

______**********________
____**__people_**______
___**_who believe_**____
____**__in evo___**_____
_____**_psych__**______
______**********_______

______**********________
____**__people_**______
___**___I want___**____
____**____to____**_____
_____**__date__**______
______**********_______

Venn diagram of my personal mating strategy.

katz
7 years ago

Loving those ferrets. Cornstarch packing peanuts are a great plaything: Edible and biodegradable!

Howard Bannister
7 years ago

Yellaine, Venn diagrams jokes aren’t always funny.

But when they are, as in this circumstance, they are HILARIOUS.

AbominableSnowPickle
7 years ago

De-lurking to say that I ABSOLUTELY agree with Chibigodzilla and should start calling him ‘Fartiste’ any time he’s mentioned. Seriously, just to fuck with him and to let people know how awful he is. I know that since I read Chibi’s post, he’ll forevermore be ‘Fartiste’ to me.

Or, if we wanna be clever, we could start referring to him as Le Pétomaine, who was an actual performer who would fart on command.

Is that a neat idea or am I just drowning in thinking about how clever I am today?
(It’s probably the latter, I think it’s the fart-connection that’s got me giggling so much right now)

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
7 years ago

Pfh, thinking I’m cleverer than I am is 90 % of *my* mating strategy, so I agree with the above.

baileyrenee
7 years ago

I’ve been lurking here and on YouTube for a bit too long apparently because now these guys are just making me softy laugh and shake my head.

This is actually a good thing for our gene pool since the chances of the people taking this advice mating are being lowered more and more with every post. Evolution!

namegoeshere
namegoeshere
7 years ago

Lol, Andrew. His most recent post:

The Truth About Mixed-Race Couples

A choice comment from one of his readers:

What we have now IS a witch hunt. We have stopped this silly thing of burning women for suspicious activities but now we are hunting down white people for not being multi cultural enough

He’s an ass (to put it mildly) and he enables other asses (to put it mildly). Fuck the whole mano-paleo-“hbd”-sphere.

dustydeste
dustydeste
7 years ago

Heh, I like “Fartiste” (which, by way of typo, can end up as “Fartiest,” hehe), because who doesn’t love a good bit of acting like the more mature of two kindergarteners, but Le Pétomaine is amusing, too. All the fart jokes? I think yes.

Gillian
7 years ago

Okeydoke, Fartiste it is. My inner 12 year old is *definitely* running the show today.

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Welcome AbominableSnowPickle!

MaudeLL
7 years ago

Seriously, just to fuck with him and to let people know how awful he is

I can’t help to associate “Fartiste” with MRAs giggling at “Fatrelle”. So far, their technique to make me realize how awful David is by calling him Fatrelle have failed. (especially since I am David commenting on my own blog. In a ferret suit.)

It might be because I’m gold-digging too much and I have lost all sense of humour (clever association to Tom Martin).

AbominableSnowPickle
7 years ago

I’ve been lurking for a couple years now, and I feel like I know most of you regulars…so to get a wonderful reception to my silliness AND a welcome, I’m a bit verklempt^.^

Hopefully, I’ll be confident enough to comment more. I’d love to, because I love the super smart and hilarious people here at the site. Seriously, you folks are amazing!

I’m going to go squee and act like a 13 year old girl for a moment *eeee!*

I think since Roissy/Fartiste (Le Pétomaine may be a little to highbrow for him…and even though his talent ws amazing farts, he was a performer and a…fartiste, who was super popular). I think he’s such a horrible human being that he should be belittled as much as possible. Which isn’t the most mature reaction, I know. He’s just so terrible that all I can think when I read his crap is “NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!” Not the most intellectual reaction, it’s more a gut-thing. He’s so revolting.

Aaahh, I’ll quit rambling now^.^

melody
7 years ago

Hit women in order to make them stay.
Threaten to hit women in order to make them stay.

……………
Geez.

As for as evo psych is concerned I don’t put a ton of credence in it. One reason is that evolution is constant. And most evo psych folks seem to think that it stopped at some point and use that as a reference point to explain behaviors in the modern era. Second studies by evo psych folks blow up in popular media without having….been adequately examined (causing harmful misinformation and giving fodder to rape apologists). The studies I have looked into have questionable information gathering. And because of the nature of the studies it is hard to separate culture/societal expectations from the results. And honestly many more, but I’m getting bored of having to explain my reasoning. Anyhow, main sentiment is I don’t buy evo psych.

(update): Feeling much better. I discussed my depression with a friend and she advised me to go home to recoup. Going home on saturday. My brother is thrilled because he says I haven’t seen him in 2 years. As a result of having finalized the plan to return home my mood has lifted. Oh, and my parents are paying for the majority of the ticket cost. So, win there too.

AbominableSnowPickle
7 years ago

MaudeLL: I hadn’t even made the connection between ‘Fartiste’ and ‘Fatrelle.’ It hadn’t occurred to me that I was doing the same thing to him that he was trying to do to David/the ferrets. I wish I could be more mature about it…I will try though!

I just can’t come up with a better way to deal with his vileness yet…I’ll try to be more creative^.^

tedthefed
tedthefed
7 years ago

Another gross thing is that he third-persons it. He’s not saying what men SHOULD do, oh no, he’s just saying that more violent domestic abuse is a natural and unavoidable outcome of telling men that they shouldn’t threaten their wives.

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