I know. It’s an MRA. It’s nine minutes long. But seriously, just watch it. You won’t regret it.
And, no, it’s not a parody.
If you want to see what the man behind the voice looks like, check out his Gravatar.
After you’ve finished laughing, you can go over and read the catty little thread it inspired over on Antimisandry.com.
Since WordPress now allows us to add polls to our posts I’m adding one right here.
EDITED TO ADD: And now, thanks to serrana, here’s a transcript of the whole bloody thing. Make like a bird, and read it:
I am Agent Orange. I am responsible for the initial collection of data from the now defunct forums of radfemspeak.net. I also recruited most of the team and set forth the vision that would become the Agent Orange Files. I continued promoting the Agent Orange Files during the radfem 2012 fiasco.
I have waited and watched for quite some time the events unfold around me in this broad movement called the MRM. I have seen a sickness strike the heart of what I’ve once considered something grand.
Now, in my capacity as a sort of bird in the sky, I hear rumblings of malcontent throughout the halls of my esteemed brothers. This troubles me as I have not been troubled before. In my life, there has been nothing that has troubled me more. I give of my time, love, and life itself in hopes of creating a society free of misandry, where all humans are judged equally before the laws of nations throughout the world.
Are we still in the wilderness, my brothers, where there are none but our own voices to fall upon our ears? Are we still shouting at the top of our lungs and hearing but a brief echo announcing our solitude? Or have we built a fortress in this cold land, paving paths to others to trade ideas in good faith? Have we not spit in the eyes of our enemies, met them in many skirmishes, and run a sword of truth into the heart of their lies over and over?
We have done much, even to the consternation of those who would use our name in vain for their own petty purposes. We men have refused to back the fight with honeyed words, and bowing to properness and propriety. We have damned the use of all but plain speech in the signing of declarations of war against those who would enslave us. We have spit upon them for good measure as is rightfully deserved.
But the sickness still comes into our fort. It is one borne of temperance of speech that hides half-truths behind the language of our enemies. It poisons the minds of men so they can no longer arm the battlements out of fear of some imagined greater power. It is a false enemy, that never has, and never will have power over the souls of free men.
It has turned brother against brother within the confines of our home. It has distracted us with questions and answers that have no bearing on our lives as free men. We tremble before these questions out of fear of answering to something other than ourselves instead of taking the fight to our enemy. It blinds us to the simplest of answers that we should care not.
We have become complicated, filled with innuendo, brimming with foppishness and base impulse, just like our enemies. We have forgotten the faces of our fathers and grandfathers. We have neglected the pain of our brothers. We have lost sight of our most basic of functions and we are becoming like those we fight in the process.
What are we if not the voice of reason and truth in an otherwise insane world? How did we fall so far as to worry about how possible allies may view us in the future? Do we not stand upon our own merits? Have we not continually crushed our enemies beneath our feet with the weapons of sharp rhetoric and truth spoken with passion and resolve? Do we really care so much about how we are branded that we are willing to sacrifice each other upon the altar of political correctness and forsake our brothers?
Beware of what you say henceforth to each other. You think carefully about our true enemy: identity politics, the politicization of experience. Don’t use dark powers that suggest to us that flowery speech will gather us more bees to make the honey, because that honey is a sour poison that kills us all one by one by one.
Think hard on the cause of suffering among us. Recognize that it is the death of the individual that does this and the removal of accountability and responsibility through the idea that there is collective salvation instead of individual merit, that there is only coercion by their gods instead of the charity of a man, that there is only room for the love of your slavemaster instead of love for yourself.
I have not sat upon a single branch since I have taken flight long ago and I will not do so until the last breath is wrenched from my body through the violence of our enemies or the ravages of age. I have been among you all. I’ve been talking and watching, teaching and learning, healing and tending.
I have been encouraging others to take back their dignity and embark upon a course of action that can best take the fight to our enemy. I hope to help free all men from their self-imposed shackles. My words have rarely been met with derision by those brothers who know me.
Those that have matched wits with me in good faith find me an honorable and competent visionary with the tenacity of a wolverine.
I would ask, but I think it wise to set the example. All of you, lay down your weapons against your brothers in arms immediately, set aside your momentary lapses of reason and come to a table that will soon be provided. Those of you to whom I have whispered secrets before, if you fancy yourself a leader, or a speaker in any capacity, you will come.
There are going to be things to be taught, and revelations that will be made apparent. Those that contribute wisely at the table will walk away with a greater sense of purpose and direction than what we have ever had before.
I promise you magic steel to further our cause. Come, sit beside your brother, though you may have smitten him before. The blood will not be washed away, but regret will at least not hang upon your brow, if you do sit with us.
In the meantime, return to the battlements, and think on this: Remember our enemy that comes from outside our hard-won land. Trust that those not showing up for discourse will have their true colors shown, or are too shamed by their past actions. Remove the names of your brothers from your lips and hold the steel strongly toward the outer walls.
You know where I fly. Send a pigeon or catapult yourself to me, I care not which. I will be waiting impatiently for a response.
Oh adorable, in his fevered tantrum on the thread he indignantly declares himself an individual. After a ten hour long screed about the beast of feminism as a whole. This is too good.
Reading the comments on youtube or antimisandry, I eventually figured out he was trying to organize some sort of MRA conference. (This video was from March, so I don’t know if it’s happened yet.) But he was so pompous in his video that this was completely unclear. That whole bit about catapaulting yourself or sending a pigeon was just him saying “email me if you want an invite!”
And speaking about himself in the 3rd person??? It’s almost rather sad. Almost.
The video has the same tone I’ve taken in D&D games before.
…Also, The Shat is probably not the best model for delivery ever to make TV.
Wait, wait, caring what other people think about you, what other people who might help you think about you, is a concern to “fall so far as to” worry about?
And now he’s chiding the MRM for using “flowering speech.”
He hasn’t sat upon any branch for the longest time, but I bet his task chair is really padded.
So, if he needs to get Men to cast off their “self-made” shackles, why does he blame women for it?
He has another video. It is 17 minutes long. It has no graphics. If you want to listen to his voice for 17 minutes while staring into blackness, here’s the link:
Are we not supposed to use a pseudo Shakesperean style of speech when we want to sound important?! Use $10 words or the passive voice, I care not which you choose, but choose you must! For the very fabric of the space time continuum is at stake in this epic battle occurring at A Voice for Men!
Oh shit, oh shit, he’s going to be “waiting impatiently for a response”!!
Guess we better get that homework in on time, or Teacher will be angry!
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I heard him say that, but I didn’t realize he was talking about something as mundane as sending an email. Oh my gosh, that’s the funniest thing ever.
I want to use extreme prose for mundane things, too. So if I ask someone to “hurl the demonic sword into a molten pit of doom”, I’m really asking them to remove their dirty shoes before walking on the carpet. If I say “take heed, oh ye mighty warriors, so that I might burn fear into your soul”, I am actually saying that I need to call the city to find out where I can dig a hole without messing up the gas lines.
He spends 40 hours a week grumbling with other men on the internet. ACTIVISM WARRIOR GO!
Amanda Marcotte has had her say, and this is mine. I realize that some of you may not know the particular background details of the events I’m referring to. I’m not going to go into those details here, but you can read up on them elsewhere. What she is doing is not an innocent, recreational sort of thing. It is a criminal activity, it is an immoral activity, it is a socially destructive activity, and it is a profoundly parviscient activity. Was she just trying to be cute when she said that it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that she should be even slightly inconvenienced? I sure hope so because she blames others for her rude deeds. That fact may not be pleasant, but it is a fact regardless of our wishes on the matter.
Amanda’s brethren say that nothing would help society more than for them to write off whole sections of society. Sorry, I don’t buy that. I don’t normally want to expose anyone to rigorous sarcasm, satire and disdain, but Amanda deserves it. Let me go on record as saying that she is reluctant to resolve problems. She always just looks the other way and hopes no one will notice that her desire to prostrate the honor, power, independence, laws, and property of entire countries is the chief sign that she’s an irresponsible plotter. (The second sign is that Amanda feels obliged to convince people that their peers are already riding the Amanda Marcotte bandwagon and will think ill of them if they don’t climb aboard, too.)
Maybe you, too, want to stifle the voices of those who are simply seeking to be heard, so let me warn you: If Amanda’s rodomontades were intended as a joke, Amanda forgot to include the punchline. Although I respect her right to free speech just as I respect it for unscrupulous ideologues, choleric, cacodemonic pissants, and foul-mouthed cardsharps, Amanda sees the world as somewhat anarchic, a game of catch-as-catch-can in which the sneakiest hell-raisers nab the biggest prizes. Did you hear what she recently said about barbarism? Never before has an illiberal ragamuffiness so cleverly hidden in plain sight her intention to shove angst-laden nativism down our collective throats. If five years ago I had described a person like Amanda to you and told you that in five years she’d present a false image to the world by hiding unpleasant but vitally important realities about her manifestos, you’d have thought me vulgar. You’d have laughed at me and told me it couldn’t happen. So it is useful now to note that, first, it has happened and, second, to try to understand how it happened and how if she doesn’t see anything wrong with hammering away at the characters of all those who will not help her cure the evil of discrimination with more discrimination then perhaps she doesn’t deserve all the support she’s getting from us.
Shrewish personæ non gratæ don’t really want me to deal with Amanda appropriately, although, of course, they all have to pay lip service to the idea. The television-addicted, drone inhabitants of her rotting empire of serfism uniformly believe that she has been robbed of all she does not possess. Well, I have news for such amateurish dummkopfs: Amanda’s devotees all have serious personal problems. In fact, the way she keeps them loyal to her is by encouraging and exacerbating these problems rather than by helping to overcome them. Some would say that this is a platitude. Would that it were! Rather, Amanda has separate, oftentimes antipodal, interests from ours. For instance, she’s intererested in rebranding local churches as faith-based emporia teeming with impulse-buy items. In contrast, my interests—and perhaps yours as well—include telling people that Amanda insisted she’d never hasten society’s quiescence to moral pluralism and epistemological uncertainty. Unfortunately, it wasn’t long before she did exactly that. She promised she’d never subvert existing lines of power and information, but then she did just that—and worse. At least Amanda is consistent, but unless you define success using the sort of loosey-goosey standards by which she abides you’ll realize that true measures of success involve building an inclusive, nondiscriminatory movement for social and political change. Success is getting the world to see that Amanda’s secret passion is to discourage us from expressing our plans for the future in whatever way we damn well please. For shame!
The interesting point is this: I recently stated that my chief objective is to call your attention to the problem of offensive, unsophisticated palookas. I had considered my comment to be fairly anodyne, but Amanda went into quite a swivet over it. I guess if she found that sort of comment offensive, she should obviously cover her ears when I state that while she and other impudent ex-cons sometimes differ on the details and scale of their upcoming campaigns of terror they never fail to agree on the basic principle and substance. Hence, it is imperative that you understand that if you looked up “unreasonable” in the dictionary, you’d probably see Amanda’s picture.
What nit-picky thing is Amanda going to do next? Reduce us to acute penury? Teach our children a version of history that is not only skewed, distorted, and wrong but dangerously so? Prevent the real problems from being solved? In any case, I apologize for giving Amanda these ideas, but she believes that she is perched atop the moral high ground. If so, then maybe Amanda should climb down to scavenge for some facts before claiming that taxpayers are a magic purse that never runs out of gold.
Apologies for my bluntness, but I want you to know that Amanda’s groupies have a tendency to say very similar things about Amanda, as if they’re quoting from scripture. Knowing, as they say, is half the battle. What remains is to investigate the development of snobbism as a concept.. She can’t fool me. I’ve met baleful quacks before so I know that if it weren’t for snotty, unbalanced shysters, Amanda would have no friends. While everybody believes in something, her simple faith in egotism will represent a threat to all the people in the area, indeed, possibly the world. Amanda wants all of us to believe that she is a voice of probity. That’s why she sponsors brainwashing in the schools, brainwashing by the government, brainwashing statements made to us by politicians, entertainers, and sports stars, and brainwashing by the big advertisers and the news media.
Although our hearts and minds are yearning for a vision of life where love endures, where unity is built, and where freedom finds meaning in truth, there is certainly a xenophobic dimension to Amanda’s zingers. Or, if “xenophobic” is too narrow of a term, perhaps you’d prefer “villainous”. In any case, Amanda consumes, infests, and destroys. She lives off the death and destruction of others. For that reason alone we need to end Amanda’s control over the minds and souls of countless people.
Whenever someone accuses Amanda of defending mandarinism, moral relativism, and notions of racial superiority, her one-size-fits-all response is that it is patriotic to transform our little community into a global crucible of terror and gore. This galimatias should make you realize that I’m decidedly tired of perfidious rakes. In other words—and let’s say this plainly, clearly, and soberly so that no one can misinterpret Amanda’s true intentions—this is just simple math. That is, if A is more patronizing than B, and B is more patronizing than C, then A is more patronizing than C, right? In case you don’t have the secret decoder ring, A is a mindless abysmal-type; B is a ribald braggart; and C is Amanda Marcotte.
To put it crudely, there are few certainties in life. I myself have counted only three: death, taxes, and Amanda doing some pusillanimous thing every few weeks. She keeps talking about the importance of her cause. As far as I can tell, Amanda’s “cause” is to lock all the exits from our present state to the world of constructive reason. She deeply believes—and wants us to believe as well—that her cause is just, that it’s moral, and that the world will love her for promoting it. In reality, I once read an article about how Amanda wants nothing less than to place the most fork-tongued nitwits you’ll ever see at the head of a nationwide kakistocracy. It was the powerful and long-lingering momentum of the impressions received on that occasion, more than any other circumstance, that gave definite form and resolution to my purpose of bringing strength to our families, power to our nation, and health to our cities. In short, the scantiness of Amanda Marcotte’s abstract knowledge directs her sentiments more to the world of teetotalism. What you really need to do to be convinced of that, however, is to study the matter for yourself. I’ll be happy to send you enough facts to get you started. Just write to me.
Roger, I know copy pastas are fun, but they don’t really have a point here… I don’t know if you’re parodying an MRA, but if you are I don’t know why you’d do it here and not on an MRA site to troll them. If you’re parodying us… then the parody it dumb, since we generally don’t have posts like that here.
Roger, TL, DR. You should make your own blog if you have to write a novel for every comment.
roger strikes again!
Thanks, dipshit.
Seriously, go away.
Roger, you’re wearing out your welcome with these walls of text. I’m putting you on moderation.
Try trolling in a more concise manner. Do some copypasta limericks or haikus or something. Or just move on.
Roger: go take your hate crush on Marcotte somewhere else. Your own blog would be a good start.
-10/10
For plagiarism and being too lazy to even provide own assfacts.
Ah, roger. Sorry old chap, but that Wall of Text is rather too big. Wish your dear old friend Agent Orange a splendid evening, will you?
roger is using Scott Pakin’s automatic complaint generator. As for why… I have no idea.
Hilarious!
I detect the influence of Objectivism–the sneering reference to “collectivism.” (Poor guy despises collectivism and “identity politics,” yet he wants a united movement based on gender. Good luck with that, AO.)
What was up with the long wordless stretch at the end? Hypnotic, man.
lololol
Did anyone notice the funny pauses in Agent Orange’s speech? Seems like he should have done a few more read-throughs – or had someone critique his speech… It sounded to me as though he lost track of what he was saying, which wasn’t all that surprising.
Oh my, thank you for this gem! Oh the drama, the language, the voice! Since he has yet to land on a branch- he must be an albatross, capable of soaring great distances on rising and falling air currents with the shoulder joint locked in place to minimize muscle work.
Or- he is capable of sitting at his computer for extended periods of time, rising and falling on MRA rhetoric, with his ideas locked firmly in place to minimize thinking. With the tenacity of a wolverine.
Also, what’s with the background on that video? It’s like he’s trying to hypnotize you.
@Z
Hey, this complaint generator is kind of fun:
LOL whut
Oh Roger. Objection: relevance. You should spend a little less time with your thesaurus and a little more time working on your citations and critical thinking skills.
Although, credit where credit is due: “illiberal ragamuffiness” is absolutely hilarious.
Too lazy to do his own trolling? Wouldn’t be the first time, here.