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How to score RED PILL ALPHA DOG points by harassing your waitress

namegame
PROTIP: After you use GAME to get a girl’s name, you can move forward to NAME GAME.

Now, some WEAK ASS BETA MANGINAS think that you shouldn’t deliberately annoy waitstaff  because, you know, they’re human beings like you and me simply trying to get through their work day, and why the fuck would you want to deliberately make their lives worse for no good reason, that sounds kind of pointlessly rude, I mean what the hell’s wrong with you? Heck, even I used to think that. But that was before I discovered the RED PILL subreddit.

That’s right, ALPHA DOGS, we’re returning to that wondrous place we first visited last month to learn some more TIGHT ASS GAME to use on the hot babes. Specifically, we’re going to be learning some TIGHT-ASS KNIFE GAME. No, I’m not talking about stabbing anyone, fellas, except maybe “stabbing” some hot young babe with your you-know-what later, if you know what I mean, wink wink nudge nudge nudge?

(You do know what I mean, right?  By “you-know-what” I mean your penis, and I’m trying to suggest that if you master KNIFE GAME you may later have the opportunity to have consensual sexual intercourse with a young woman, which is something that someone might colloquially refer to as “stabbing” due to the regular thrusting of the penis into the vagina that is a central feature of coitus.)

Anyway, KNIFE GAME involves actual knives. DINNER KNIVES, whoooo!

I learned all about it from a cool Red Pill dude called ATowne who wrote up a totally ALPHA DOG FIELD REPORT for his RED PILL ALPHA BUDDIES about how he totally scored some points with some totally hot waitresses and like even got one of their NAMES!

Because waitresses love customers who take advantage of the leverage they have over them as customers to just fuck with them. And they especially love it when these customers are ALPHA DOG ASSHOLES trying to get into their PANTS. Because that is such a TOTALLY ORIGINAL MOVE as well as being ALPHA AS FUCK. Trust me, NO ONE HAS EVER DONE IT BEFORE. Except maybe a couple of these RED PILL ALPHA DOGS.

Unfortunately, some of ATowne’s BLUE PILL friends kept cock-blocking him and calling him a douche and apologizing to the waitresses for his behavior but it didn’t matter because it didn’t stop him from having this totally awesome INTERACTION WITH A WOMAN:

Cute waitress comes by and I decide to focus on her. She brings me a fork for my salad and I smile and say “no knife?” After a little back and forth she comes back with the knife and I get her name. A little while later I call her over, give her the knife and say “I don’t need it, I’m eating a salad.” She smiles at first, then looks frustrated and as she’s walking away “nice way to get my name…”

I’m the only one of the group who actually goes and talks to girls, so my life is the center of conversation almost always. They are talking about how I am an asshole, making the poor waitress take time out of her busy day to bring me a fucking knife. Are you serious? Anyway, cute waitress is ignoring my table and eye contact, but I can see her looking at my peripherally. I stop caring and talk to my friends and then catch her slipping while she’s walking because she was ‘looking away’ (directly where she was going) but peripherally looking at me. …

I see the cute waitress as I’m leaving and say “hey, don’t take the knife stuff personally.” She says “I know, I was kidding.” I follow up with “Okay, I’m ____, see you around.” Cringe.

Cringe, man, THAT IS totally fucking ALPHA!

Also, what kind of name is “____?” A totally fucking ALPHA name is all I know!

I found this wonderful RED PILL field report via the Blue Pill subreddit, which is sort of an awesome tribute to the RED PILL subreddit, though I am beginning to suspect that some of the people there do not fully understand the totally BADASS nature of the RED PILL PHILOSOPHY.

EDITED TO ADD: I forgot about this TOTALLY RAD scene from the movie “Made” in which ALPHA DOG Vince Vaughn demonstrates some ALPHA MOVES with a flight attendent who is obviously totally into him. Watch and learn, beta fools!

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Kittehserf
8 years ago

Or maybe that should be, “To infinity and beyond!”

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

To infinity and beyond because, well…

http://youtu.be/ljQMpgVY5mg

thekidwiththereplaceablehead

Sort of OT, but I thought people might get a kick out of this guy. Maladroit youtube PUAs never get old. His whole channel is amazing.

All u keyboard jockeys may not know the fact that I have seen her a couple of times in clubs before. She knows who I am. Her rudeness is just a cover up for the intimacy that we share. Noone else knows this.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Heheh wondered who’d be first in with that great line!

Kittehserf
8 years ago

PUA genius can’t even hold the camera up the right way …

Wetherby
Wetherby
8 years ago

Obvious trigger warning embedded in the title, but someone has (of course) created a site called LOLSpiders, which is more or less exactly what you’d expect.

And while I suspect most of the people posting above should stay well away from it, even they will probably enjoy this entry. But please don’t delve any further!

(Personally, I think the whole thing is hilarious, but my arachnophobic mother specifically brought me up not to be an arachnophobe, because she needed a live-in humane spider disposer.)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

“I’m not in the mood”

Feel the intimacy, everyone. Let it bathe you in its warm glow.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Wetherby, I LOVE that pic! 😀

MaudeLL
8 years ago

Summary of all PUA tactics: do something and whatever her response is a sign she wants you.
Think that way, and you’ll see a significant increase in HBs who want you!
It’s science. Wrapped in logic.

Dvärghundspossen
8 years ago

@Kitten: Late reply, but yeah, as a woman you’re indoctrinated since childhood that your number one goal ought to be to get men attracted to you, so it’s really hard to shrug this off, and feels incredibly nice to eventually do so.

@MaudeLL: The classic examples of unfalsifiable belief systems are Freud’s psychoanalytical theories and Marxism as it looked some time after Marx… But PUA is even better. Woman looking at you? Shows she’s attracted to you! Woman looking the other way? She’s just trying, in vain, to hide her obvious attraction to you! Woman telling you her name? She’s attracted to you! Woman telling you to fuck off? It’s a shit test, something women do to men they’re attracted to!

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Dvärghundspossen – yes, and it makes me even more grateful that my attention was focused from a very early age. I was never in the dating market, thank the Great Furred Ones!

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
8 years ago

This story is making me cry. I’m afraid to find out what the MRAs are saying about it:

http://gawker.com/texas-says-its-ok-to-shoot-an-escort-if-she-wont-have-511636423

BlackBloc (@XBlackBlocX)

Half of it is the guy ranting about how mad he is at his friend for apologizing to the waitress. Because that waitress was totally going to sleep with him.

Yep, she was dazzled by his alphamaleness until his friends made him look beta by proxy.

Kittehserf
8 years ago

The Beta Virus! Not even the alphaiest alpha dude is safe from this infection! It transmits itself and sucks out the manly manliness in those precious bodily fluids!

auggziliary
auggziliary
8 years ago

@chie, holy shit Texas…. Wtf

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
8 years ago

@proudfootz

HAHAHA. Not only did he friend-zone himself, he failed at friend-zoning himself. I don’t need another friend there, cowboy. When I said “pointedly told him I have a boyfriend,” I should elaborated that I was visibly irritated/not amused. Then he somehow found me on facebook with my not-uncommon first name in a metro area with approximately 1 million people.

AK
AK
8 years ago

I know this is way late, but @Ivy, I hope you’ll share your review of that ridiculous book with us when you write it! 🙂

I can’t even comment on that Texas story, it’s so depressing. It was the first thing I read this morning and it made me want to crawl back into bed and go back to sleep for the rest of the day.

ostara321
ostara321
8 years ago

I, for one, am going to consider the “pay your dues” logic to be bullshit until I hear about some rich white kid who went to Yale applying to a cushy job at his daddy’s company and getting told “Sorry, I don’t see any minimum-wage food service jobs on your resume. You haven’t paid your dues yet.”

This is from two pages ago, but yes, this about a million times over. Can I quote this? It’s perfect.

Also, Chie, that Gawker story, YIIIIIKES. It’s an especially bad mix of misogyny + shoddy gun laws. This is why I don’t read MRA forums, I can already figure what they’re saying and calling that poor woman. It’s the “service worker, I hired you to be my slave for a particular period of time and I am entitled to do whatever I want to you during that time” ideology to a sexist extreme. And there are people posting on the Gawker piece, saying “well if she wanted safety for her body she wouldn’t be an escort…” Yeah, just like how waitresses should just totally not be waitresses if they want to be treated with any sort of dignity on the job. Gah. People make me really sad sometimes.

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
8 years ago

I believe in this Texas debacle, the woman was an escort rather than a prostitute – perhaps the customer did not understand the difference, but in any event, fuck Texas judges. First the morality clause thing with the lesbian couple, now this. *shakes fist*

Marie
8 years ago

@cloudiah

Trigger Warning, Oh Trigger Warning!!!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

In Texas, your vagina is property. If someone pays for it and you don’t hand it over, they get to shoot you without going to jail.

Oh fuck. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. If hell is real, may all those fuckers burn in there for eternity.*

*That may be more…extreme than normal step-on-legos curses, but I feel like these guys deserve so much more shit than that. There aren’t enough legos around for them to step on >:(

Hot wings, the world’s most useless “food,” are alpha. Salad, which is actually good for you, is beta.

What! I love hot wings! They are so yuummmyyyyy!!!!!eleven. Though I also like salad. What does this make me?

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
8 years ago

@Marie

What! I love hot wings! They are so yuummmyyyyy!!!!!eleven. Though I also like salad. What does this make me?

STILL AN EVIL FEMINAZI, that’s what!

Marie
8 years ago

@babylawyer

Evil feminazi high five!

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
8 years ago

@Marie

Don’t give away the secret evil feminazi handshake!

Marie
8 years ago

@babylawyer

whoops 😉 Hopefully the hivemind will forgive me XD

AK
AK
8 years ago

So just for clarity, on that Texas story, it’s supposedly not the “not having sex with him” part that apparently entitled him to shoot her (ugh ugh ugh ugh), it’s that she left after 20 minutes and didn’t provide any service* but refused to give him a refund, which apparently counts as theft. It’s mentioned in the original articles on the subject but not in most of the national news about the verdict I’ve seen today.

But even if it really wasn’t about sex but about the time frame she’s there, it still is stupid and makes no sense. I once had a reputable contractor that I’d paid a deposit to come to my home only to realize that he was allergic to my dogs (which he knew I had before we agreed on anything) and not do the work I’d hired him for. He didn’t refund my deposit. If I lived in Texas, could I have shot him for that? I mean, he “stole” my deposit after all, and it was a lot more than $150. Somehow though I doubt I would have been acquitted if I had…

And apparently I can comment on that story.

*so basically, it is because she didn’t have sex with him, they just dressed it up a bit

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

The other thing that’s getting to me is that prostitution is illegal in Texas, so the judge sided with the man who’d had the sex he thought he was entitled to “stolen” even though the “theft” was of a service that he wasn’t legally allowed to purchase anyway. So it’s not just that a woman’s life is apparently only worth $150, it’s also that men are allowed to break the law and still have a judge back them up (as long as it’s a sex worker they’re victimizing), even to the point of excusing murder.

I’m kind of hoping that the prosecution will file an appeal and get this case kicked up to a higher court, and the judge who made the call will end up facing some kind of repercussions for this, because even on a purely legalistic level this is bullshit.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

I’m gonna try and shut off my soul for a bit and look at this purely from that annoying legalistic place, and… huh. It still doesn’t make sense.

The woman was not ‘stealing’ the money from him in the sense of robbery or theft (which, in Texas, would actually be grounds for shooting someone in the back, so long as it’s at night; seriously, Texas, WTF?). The story he’s making is that she was defrauding him; it’s similar to theft (in that money is being taken), but it’s not the same thing, and that should matter.

To see why, just alter the scenario a wee bit. Instead of an escort, make the victim a male drug dealer. He and the defendant enter into a verbal contract for a dime-bag of pot in exchange for $150. The victim takes the money, provides a bag of plant material, and heads for the door. The defendant opens the bag, says, “Hey, this is marijuana, give me my money back.” The victim says, “No, it’s mine now, caveat emptor!” and continues to leave. The defendant shoots the victim fatally.

Can ANYONE see a Texas jury acquitting the pothead murderer?

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Cassandra–not a judge, but a jury. The judge may have made some bad rulings that allowed this travesty to occur, but I don’t know the case well enough to state that for certain. Juries are notoriously unpredictable, though, and can come up with some truly horrific decisions at times.

cloudiah
8 years ago

I’m just hit-and-running to plop this funny poster created by a user on r/againstmensrights:

http://i.imgur.com/MCWkpAt.png

Marie
8 years ago

Gah, I think I need to take a break from the internet. The texas shit is putting me in some seriously not happy headspace…

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

Regardless of who made this idiotic decision, the prosecution should try to appeal. This would not be a good precedent to let stand.

BabyLawyer
BabyLawyer
8 years ago

I absolutely understand that zealously advocating for your client is an attorney’s ethical doodie, but the attorney who came up with this legal strategy is a turd for even having this thought process. The jury that bought the argument makes me want to leave this planet.

Fibinachi
Fibinachi
8 years ago

What! I love hot wings! They are so yuummmyyyyy!!!!!eleven. Though I also like salad. What does this make me?

An alpheta.

auggziliary
auggziliary
8 years ago

@cloudiah, I’ve noticed so much of their hypocrisy on their Facebook page. One photo recently posted says basically that if you don’t like AVFM, then fuck off cuz kdkcjneoifn. Then all off their recent posts are pretty much “FACEBOOKS ON TEAM FEMINAZI FOR TAKING DOWN OUR TRUFAX”.
I wish I could respond to those posts and mock, but I know I’d get doxxed or have like 30 emails and messages calling me a supernazislut.

Binjabreel
Binjabreel
8 years ago

I wanted to put a hammer through my tv when I was watching the empty heads sniggering over this case on CNN. At least Piers Antony seemed appropriately appalled, he said something like, “this is the kind of thing that makes America a dark laughingstock in the eyes of the civilized world.”

Isn’t the law already such that raping a prostitute isn’t rape, it’s theft of goods?

yaoi huntress earth
yaoi huntress earth
8 years ago

When the defense said the shot wasn’t meant to kill, I called bullshit. He shot her in the neck, what did he think was going to happen?

Xen
Xen
8 years ago

Well Texas, I’ll never be visiting you.

jennydevildoll
8 years ago

Being a jerk to your food server? Stuff legends are made of.Sounds like”taking the red pill” might also involve ingesting secret spit in your food by disgruntled servers/food handlers.

AK
AK
8 years ago

@yaoi huntress earth, from what I understand he fired into the car and it happened to hit her in the neck, he (at least claims) that he wasn’t aiming for her specifically.

Which is not a defense in my mind. Rule #1 is you always know what you’re firing at. Even if we pretend for a moment that he was justified in shooting her (which of course I don’t believe, but for the sake of argument)…what if they’d had a kid in the back seat of that car and he’d shot the child, or the bullet had gone through the vehicle and hit an innocent bystander on the other side? Innocent people die every damn day because someone didn’t know what the hell they were shooting at but pulled the trigger anyway, and it’s appalling that they aren’t prosecuted for it. But that’s a whole ‘nother rant.

Etelka
8 years ago

This has been said but I think I can justifiably reiterate that WAITRESSES WEAR NAME TAGS! They wear name tags.

He should have ostentatiously ordered a chicken breast. And then started jacking off under the table.

Leum
Leum
8 years ago

Regardless of who made this idiotic decision, the prosecution should try to appeal. This would not be a good precedent to let stand.

In the US, verdicts of Not Guilty can’t be appealed. The prosecution could charge him with another, related crime, but once you’ve been acquited of a crime, the doctrine of Double Jeapordy forids a retrial.

freemage
freemage
8 years ago

Leum: You are correct, however, I believe that if the judge made any adverse rulings during the trial, the prosecution COULD appeal those rulings, so as to prevent them from becoming official precedent. (For instance, if there was an actual objection presented by the prosecution during the trial, which the judge overruled, they could appeal that decision so as to keep other judges from citing the ruling in the future.)

auggziliary
auggziliary
8 years ago

Why the fuck was CNN laughing at the case???

Kittehserf
8 years ago

Someone in the Pandagon comments made the observation that if it had been a MoC shooting a white woman, he’d have been in prison so fast his feet wouldn’t have touched the ground. (I’d throw in the guess he’d have been on death row.) Was the victim a WoC? I don’t know if the commenter was reversing roles, or just mentioning that a white man can get away with a crime against any woman quite easily.

cloudiah
8 years ago

Kittehs, I have seen pictures of them both, and the woman appears to be a WoC, and the murderer is a white dude. He used an AK-47, by the way, with no regard to the safety of anyone else in the vicinity.

Argenti Aertheri
8 years ago

A what?!? Those are only legal under very specific circumstances. Off the top of my head I know you can keep one you owned before they were banned, but other than that…

Yeah, they can probably bring him up again on gun charges. (My brother has an SKS be a use you can’t legally get an AK-47 here [it’s also locked up in his room]…I’ll ask about the legality in Texas when they get back from *drum roll* the NRA dinner)

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Argenti: I’m not sure about the legality of AK-47s in TX, but AR-15s are perfectly legal, so it wouldn’t surprise me if it was. This is a heavily armed state.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
8 years ago

I’m not going to get into the gun issue in general because I know that I’m fighting a losing cultural battle there, but in terms of weapons for defending the home isn’t an AK-47 just a teensy bit excessive?

Kittehserf
8 years ago

This manages to be Un Fucking Believable and No Fucking Surprise At All, both at the same time.

hellkell
hellkell
8 years ago

Cassandra: IMO, no one needs an automatic weapon of any kind. If you can’t do it in six shots, you don’t need to be doing it.