Categories
a voice for men antifeminism douchebaggery drama entitled babies FemRAs hypocrisy men who should not ever be with women ever MGTOW misandry misogyny MRA paul elam straw feminists

Tempest in a Bee Cup: TheWoolyBumblebee expelled from A Voice for Men for making angry men even angrier

thumbs

More drama at A Voice for Men! Kristina Hansen — the excitable FeMRA videoblogger better known as TheWoolybumblebee — has been tossed off the good ship AVFM by Master and Commander Paul Elam for what he calls her “constant public conflicts with elements of our community.”

You can hear her side of the case in the video below. She claims to be shocked — shocked! — to find that Elam expected his contributors to toe his ideological line. And even more shocked to find him making generalizations about women — something, Ms.Bumblebee claims, that makes him no better than the feminists he criticizes!

Yeah, the trouble with ex-AVFMers is that they were dunderheaded enough to have signed up as AVFMers in the first place. (When we last met her here on Man Boobz she was returning a pair of misandric pants to the store, outraged that a tiny portion of the profits would go to help girls facing oppression in the developing world.)

Before you watch the whole video, though — it’s 14 minutes long — you might want some of the backstory. It’s long and messy, too, but I’ll try to keep it  as brief as I can.

First, I should probably note the irony in Elam’s explanation for her dismissal, given that Elam himself is well-known for his own “constant public conflicts” with others in the Men’s Rights movement and the manosphere in general, having launched very public attacks on various others in the past — most notably on Pickup artists — and responding with intemperate anger towards pretty much everyone who even mildly disagrees with him about anything in public.

Heck, at one point he got so annoyed by people disagreeing with him on the Men’s Rights subreddit that he tried to set up his own Men’s Rights Activists subreddit where he could ban the people he disliked; it never took off and he abandoned it.

Elam’s pink-slipping of Ms. Bumblebee is doubly ironic, because one of the issues she’s been involved in “constant public conflicts” about has been MGTOW. (She’s not a fan.)

You might think that wouldn’t be a problem, as A Voice for Men has not exactly been on the best of terms with a big chunk of the MGTOW community for some time. The regulars on MGTOWforums, the biggest MGTOW hub, regularly refer to AVFM as “A Voice for Manginas” and worse; they’re especially offended that Elam lets women — sorry, “cunts” — post there. Elam has responded by denouncing the “MGTOW Forum Fuckwits.” The war of not-so-nice words seems never-ending; for some recent examples on MGTOWforums here and here — and in AVFM’s own forum here.

But Elam apparently still thinks he can somehow charm those MGTOWers who don’t already hate his guts, and he’s been making some efforts to get their attention lately — a fact that has not escaped his non-fans over on MGTOWforums, who have been decidedly unimpressed with his efforts so far.

So Elam was none too happy when Ms. Bumblebee started making videos attacking MGTOWers head on — videos which caused a little firestorm of controvery in the MGTOW world and got MGTOWers even madder at AVFM for putting up with such an evil “wench.”

Ms. Bumblebee has also been saying less than kind things about libertarianism for months on her blog, on YouTube, and on Twitter, where she bluntly declared it a “a cancer within the MRM.”

Turns out that was a bit of a faux pas. Though AVFM pretends to be “apolitical,” and has a few people associated with it who consider themselves liberal, most of the “big names” there  — not just Elam but John “the Other” Hembling, and Karen (GirlWritesWhat) Straughan — pretty obviously lean libertarian.

Indeed, in a not-very-friendly comment on Reddit about Ms. Bumblebee’s departure from AVFM, Straughan suggests that she’s essentially a “a child …  having a tantrum,” who doesn’t appreciate that the Men’s Rights movement is all about “free thinkers and John Galts.” (Yeah, she really did say that.)

She also accuses Ms. B of not reading enough E Belfort Bax — which is, I have to admit, the first time I’ve ever seen anyone accused of that particular crime in a political debate.

In case you’re not yourself a Baxhead, he was an opponent of women’s suffrage perhaps best known for his 1913 essay “The Fraud of Feminism,” a rather obscure piece of writing that’s having a sort of revival amongst a certain segment of the Men’s Rights movement. Indeed, A Voice for Men recently reprinted a portion of Bax’s essay with a glowing and altogether uncritical introduction by Elam himself.

It’s actually rather revealing. A Voice for Men is happy to republish the work of a long dead author who thought that women should be denied the right to vote. But a live woman who doesn’t agree with Elam about libertarianism or MGTOWers — over the side she goes!

Here’s her video. If you don’t want to watch the whole thing, you could just skip ahead to 5:20 to hear her express her astonishment that Elam would make sweeping generalizations about all women (say it ain’t so!), or to about 7:50 where she sets forth her basic complaint about AVFM and the way she says she was treated by Elam et al.

If you only have a couple of minutes, or limited patience for YouTube videos, at least listen to the excerpts of the testy phone conversation with Elam in which she officially learned she was no longer a part of AVFM; they start at about 10:40.

Ms. B has labeled this video Part 1. I don’t know how many more parts are coming. But I’ll certainly be watching.

For the masochists among you, Elam has put up the entire conversation he had with Ms. B — it’s half an hour long, and I listened to the whole damn thing.  I assume he thinks it makes him look better and her look worse, but, you know, it really, really doesn’t. Unless you’re really into patronizing mansplaining and apologias for angry misogyny amongst MRAs and MGTOWers. He concludes by throwing a little fit and hanging up. Or maybe she hangs up. I can’t tell.

Ms. B., when she can get a word in edgewise, makes a lot of very good points in the call, bluntly and directly calling him on his some of his bullshit; it’s only when she starts going on about the evils of feminism that I remember how warped her worldview really is.

Alongside the video, Elam also posted the email he sent Ms. B dismissing her from AVFM, which confirms that he was indeed pissed off by what he calls her “divisive conduct” towards MGTOWers and all those John Galts of the MRM.

299 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
titianblue
titianblue
11 years ago

Aah, but that is only right and correct. Proposing that women should not have suffrage is a perfectly reasonably stance to take, and SOR&L(tm) is possible. Suggesting that men not have suffrage is ridiculous, oppressive and hysterical, and so no SORL(tm) is possible. /MRMUniverse

Detached
Detached
11 years ago

http://youtu.be/bSuoDLerlBo

This video makes more sense than most MRA videos, but it almost sounds like she is saying “I’m different from those women”. But she pegged them really, really hard with the idea of those MRAs and MGTOWs being damaged and not healing. No wonder those men hate her. Because she was right about that.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

I’m also imagining the lady tyrant gently smacking some dude with her feather duster in the video for their first single “I Run The House With An Iron Vagina”, and thousands of MRAs swarming YouTube to call that out as an example of how domestic violence it totally 50/50.

I’m imagining the attack to be something like this from Beauty and the Beast

Did you see how she smiled as she attacked him with the feather duster? Lumiere was very frightened, I’m sure. She also had a short bob haircut, and that’s a misandric haircut if I’ve ever seen one.

But she pegged them really, really hard with the idea of those MRAs and MGTOWs being damaged and not healing. No wonder those men hate her. Because she was right about that.

Yep. She didn’t give them hell. She just told them the truth and they thought it was hell.

Dvärghundspossen
11 years ago

@Kitten, yep, I drew that. It’s me in the middle with my four dogs. I drew it when my GSD was just a baby; she’s the one biting my head (she was completely crazy as a baby, would just jump at us and bite us with no warning at all). Then there’s my min pin at the left (I think they crop their ears in Australia, I know they do in the US, but here it’s illegal like in most countries – some min pins have naturally erect ears but my has floppy ones), my Italian greyhound on the right and my Tibetan spaniel below.

Marie
11 years ago

@cloudiah

@grumpycatisagirl, You can’t be anything other than happy looking at this.

Soooo cuuutttteee!!!!!

spukikitty
11 years ago

For no reason at all: kitties!
[video]

Kittehserf, I LARVE IT! So SQUIRMY! Me liek squirmy kittehs!

@Marie, shadow
Thankies for the HTML help. *HUGGLES*

freemage
11 years ago

Kittehserf:

Having been exposed to the Fem-Fundie mindset before (really, it’s amazing how well they align with the FeMRA club), I can guess her attitude to voting:

She believes that she shouldn’t have the vote, but since she does, in order to combat those Evil Feminist Atheist Lesbian hordes, she’ll vote precisely how her husband tells her to. (An unmarried woman can submit her vote to either her father, her brother or her boyfriend. If she has none of these, then she should speak to her pastor and ask his guidance; she should also find herself a man to submit to, already.)

eumenidis:

‘Scuse me, but is anyone really surprised that a “movement” whose ideas & attitudes are virtually identical to those of the Malleus Maleficarum would turn on WBB for daring suggest that some women *aren’t* depraved monsters? Personally, I’ve no sympathy for WBB, who is only experiencing the treatment she found acceptable when dealt out to other women.

Any sympathy being expressed is not for her being turned out from AVfM or getting a little angry backlash. However, we have a strong “don’t blame the victim” ethos here, and if the backlash goes beyond that (and we have every reason to suspect it will), then yes, she’ll be deserving of some degree of sympathy and pity, as would any human being, period. There’s a level of acceptable schadenfreude (and really, right now, that’s where we’re at), but if it really does escalate, then it becomes inappropriate.

Briznecko
Briznecko
11 years ago

I’m also imagining the lady tyrant gently smacking some dude with her feather duster in the video for their first single “I Run The House With An Iron Vagina”, and thousands of MRAs swarming YouTube to call that out as an example of how domestic violence it totally 50/50.

Well, my keyboard is now covered in coffee. Please accept one coffe-drenched internet.

Bostonian
Bostonian
11 years ago

I am not glad for any abuse she might suffer from the crazed minions of Elam, but being kicked out of a “movement” that hates women as much as the MRM does can only be good for a self hating person like her.
I sincerely hope she gets some much needed perspective on the reality of the “movement” she was kicked out of.
I don’t hold out hope for her becoming a feminist, I just want her to understand the uselessness of the MRM.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Yeah I really don’t care how despicable someone is, death threats are never called for.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

*is assuming she gets the usual sort of threats the MRA dishes out*

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

Unless you’re really into patronizing mansplaining and apologias for angry misogyny amongst MRAs and MGTOWers. He concludes by throwing a little fit and hanging up. Or maybe she hangs up. I can’t tell.

I could barely listen to the phone call. I don’t know how she was able to listen to his BS a half an hour. The basic message he was saying was “These poor men are victims of misandry, so the only way for women to help is to meekly accept verbal abuse from them. They are venting, so you need a thicker skin, you hysterical woman”. She protests that, so he says she “has a chip on her shoulder”. Yeah, fuck that.

And at MGTOW forums Ubermesch said

Come back to us once our demands have been met:-

– Fault divorce written into law, never to be amended.
– All property of a marriage, including children, to remain in the hands of the man in the event of dissolution.
– The abolition of the family court system.
– The abolition of VAWA and similar laws, so that we cannot be thrown out of our homes on a whim.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll get back on the saddle.

Buddy, if that’s what you want in marriage, then do us all a favor and keep going your own way. Stay far away from all saddles, okay?

Marie
11 years ago

@thebioinicmommy

Along with the many, many creepy things that guy said…

All property of a marriage, including children, to remain in the hands of the man in the event of dissolution.

🙁 Feel sorry for his kids, if he has any. They are not property, and anyone who thinks kids are property can go step on all the legos forever.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

And ubermesch, I have some demands of my own. I will not stop pouting until they are all met.

1. No heat waves this summer. I don’t want to see the temperature ever exceed 95 degrees Farenheit.

2. Rabbits need to stay out of my garden. I am tired of seeing my broccoli plants eaten up by those wascally wabbits!

3. Brad Pitt needs to apologize to me for making a zombie movie this summer, because the whole zombie thing has been done to death (pun not intended).

4. Last but not least, I demand that McDonalds sell a breakfast Happy Meal. There is no reason they can’t put some hash browns and a McMuffin in a cute box with a cheap plastic toy.

I will go my own way if my demands aren’t met immediately!

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

@Marie, I know it’s sad. Thank goodness he’s choosing to not have any children.

The MGTOW are saying what some of the more “moderate” MRA’s really think.

Marie
11 years ago

@thebionicmommy

Oh *whew* that he’s not actually had children.

Also:

4. Last but not least, I demand that McDonalds sell a breakfast Happy Meal. There is no reason they can’t put some hash browns and a McMuffin in a cute box with a cheap plastic toy.

That sounds like it would be so yummy if it weren’t mcdonalds*

*I have a thing against mcdonalds. (Nasty food tmi coming up) They once gave me a sandwich with a tomato so weird-textured it felt like I was chewing threw the tendons of a small animal…it was like ‘how do you do that to tomatos?

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

Sonic does the same thing with their tomatoes. I usually like tomatoes on burgers, but not when they have the texture of algae. Yuck, I’ll just get the chicken strips and skip the mushy tomato.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

Oh my gosh, and this is what I was worried about. At youtube, klootoyoufromreddit said

Poor showing here, Paul, in failing to edit out her personal email and her kids’ names.

That an avfm editor’s avfm email address wouldn’t work may be pebkak or may be a site issue. idk.

all the rest, imo, is a personnel decision that’s yours to make.

and Paul responded

I appreciate that, but disagree. I felt my only option, after she mined the conversation for what she could take out of context, was to post the whole thing unedited. If she were concerned about confidentiality issues there is about a dozen things she could have done, as a mother and a human being, to prevent all of this.

Not buying.

This is so sickening. He’s saying that her job as a mom is to not make him mad, so that he doesn’t put out information about her children.

Marie
11 years ago

@thebionicmommy

God, he’s a truly despicable human being 🙁

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

I agree, Marie. It’s bad enough for him to bully WBB, an adult, but for him to target her children is just beyond the pale.

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Shorter Elam — the concept of [name redacted] is misandry!!!

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Also, Ubermesch’s demands are disgusting and disturbing. You want the right to get away with beating your wife, her to be unable to divorce you without enough proof for a judge in a no longer existent family court, and you get to “keep” the kids even if she can prove you’re abusive?

I was eating when I read that! (Ironically, sonic chicken strips *high fives thebionicmommy*)

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

So much for PaulE’s stance against doxxing. What a skidmark.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
11 years ago

@Argenti, I’m jealous. I want some Sonic chicken strips, and some of those cheddar bites, too. My drink of choice there is the Route 44 diet cherry limeade. *checks clock* Good, only one and a half hours until happy hour!

Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

@ bionicmommy

re: The demands of “Ubermensch”

The truly odd thing about mgtow’s is that it appears to me that they think people have a problem with the “go their own way” part. Basically, uber is saying: “I might reconsider my lifestyle if you let me become my slave/property and be responsible whenever I’m unhappy with something. Because I’m a nice guy, I will follow the biblical rules on how to beat your slave.”

The pressure of wanting to marry Uber is unbearable.

He seems totally oblivious that we *want* them to go their own way, and we are *begging* them to stay their own way.

I would advance that for them to really go their own way, they need to start spending under 2 hours a day discussing why women have cooties.