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Homophobia totally the fault of straight women, according to Men’s Rights Redditors

Men forced into macho straightjacked by straight women's expectations, out cruising for chicks.
Men forced into hypermasculine role by straight women, out cruising for chicks.

So we learned the other day from that Man Going His Own Way that male violence was, like, totally the fault of evil sexy ladies. Now, from this Men’s Rights Redditor, we learn that homophobia — or at least homophobia directed at gay men — is all the fault of straight women and their desire for macho dudes. Because straight men don’t ever express any sort of hostility towards gay or effeminate men — it’s just those darn ladies!

I've said this many times in different circumstances, but I fully believe the push for hyper-masculinity is not caused by a desire to prove masculinity to ones peers or caused by some latent homophobia. The cause of hyper-masculinity and its associated homophobic undertones is caused by straight women and what they as a group have deemed "totally unacceptable" in a mate.  Appearing gay (I'm gay) has never really caused me any heartache within a group of men. Even if those men don't know I'm gay and just think I'm an effeminate weirdo. In mixed groups of men and women, it has. I think it stems from female judgement of men who aren't "masculine enough" to be inferior for relationships, men pick up on it and boost up the masculinity and inter-male aggression/intolerance of behaviors not considered normal.  It also comes from widespread female intolerance of any sort of homosexual or "appearing homosexual" behavior in potential mates, an intolerance which isn't found among men. Ask any straight man you know if he would dump his girlfriend/wife if he found out she had lesbian sex before they were dating. Now ask any straight woman you know if she would dump her boyfriend/husband if she found out he had gay sex before they were dating. I have asked these questions to many people. The answers have always backed up my position. I actually had a couple women tell me that they would leave their husbands if they found out that he had fooled around with a guy as young as highschool.
But, huh, what about all those straight dudes who are always calling other dudes “gay” and, you know, that other word that starts with an “f?”

Well, apparently that’s just playful joshing. No harm, no foul! If anything, it shows how wonderfully tolerant of gayness these guys are. I mean, come on, if you can’t see this, you must be stupid, or something. Or so says this other Men’s Rights Redditor:

It takes some advanced cognitive ability to comprehend why most men tease one another for being gay. It has little to do with homosexuality, real or perceived. It is about acceptance. It is also about challenging perception. When one man calls his friend "gay", he is playfully asserting his own dominance over his friend. He is also insinuating not only that he would still accept and love his friend, but also that he recognizes that everyone's at least a little gay, and that they have both grown out of any childish notions of homosexuality being bad and thereby being hurt by being called "gay". They are sharing a bonding experience of mutual acceptance, playfulness, and even affection through this social ritual. One could even suggest that faux male gay shaming is a method of expressing homosexuality in a manner that rates low enough on the kinsey scale to suit their comfort.  Or we could just take it at face value and refuse to explore the psychodynamic behind the process. It seems more convenient when obtuseness is a preferred weapon.

They’re just having a little fun. You’re not against fun, are you?

Thanks to the AgainstMen’sRights subreddit for pointing me to these quotes.

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Maude LL
Maude LL
11 years ago

Wow, what a blatant example of fedora blindness. He’s never seen a homeless woman. I bet he doesn’t know that most free shelters don’t accept women either, because they have serious problems with rape. That’s why we have women’s shelters, the ‘normal’ shelters are for men. Same for soup kitchens. They accept women in soup kitchens, but sexual harassment (including touching) is the norm for women who eat there.

It may be anecdotal, but this is my personal experience from when I was homeless.

Amnesia
Amnesia
11 years ago

From my personal experience at the homeless shelter, the women’s dorm was usually less full than the men’s dorm, but when you took into account the women staying in the family dorms with their children, the ratio evened out.
Of course, that doesn’t take into consideration what the actual demand was, how often either demographic was turned away because of a full house, how long their stays were, etc. Just one dataPOV to consider.

cloudiah
11 years ago

Thanks, Amnesia. Sometimes I can get a little glib, and I worry that there might be some collateral damage. 0_o But yay that your getting your kitty back soon, and for everything else!

cloudiah
11 years ago

^ you’re ^

Robert
Robert
11 years ago

Argenti, molto obbligato. I’ve been lurking for simply ages. I have commented before, but not often. I have no cat, but am planning to adopt one from the shelter (that’s a thing, right) when both our sons go off to college. Two dads, two sons – we are the most androcentric household we know, and yet we are not MRAs.

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

*waves* Female combat vet here. Nobody carried my gear for me. In fact, my sex was pretty much irrelevant. My ability to fire my weapon was a LOT more important because, you know, that was what we were there to do. As far as standards in training went, there were a few things that I technically had to do less of, but… again, nobody really paid attention to that. I did what the guys did. We were a very cohesive unit, without regard to sex, race, age, etc. And I’m glad we were or we’d have gotten ourselves killed.

I’m in the “male role?” Really? My ex? He’s mentally ill, with some pretty out there delusions about life. He really believed that if he were just pure enough, with enough mental energy, he could make money appear out of thin air, walk on water and control the universe, just by thinking about it. And that wasn’t the worst of it, sadly. Last I heard, he was living in a tent city cult commune and was planning on going to Siberia to find a magical cedar tree that will make him immortal.

When I met my SO, I was in a better financial position than he was, for reasons that are nobody’s business. It happens sometimes. The fact that I paid for dates didn’t make me the “man” in the relationship. It just meant that I had two very lucrative jobs at the time and he was trying to get back on his feet after some setbacks. Going out for sushi was a lot more interesting than sitting around my apartment watching TV and we both really enjoyed it. Didn’t really matter who’s wallet was opened at the end of dinner.

The Great Furry Ones? Oh yes, they are the leaders of the Furinatti. However, as it’s spring time, one of the Great Furry Ones has completely blown his coat, so he’s more like the Great Peachfuzzy One. But, he will be greater and furrier when his spring fur comes back in.

BigMomma
BigMomma
11 years ago

I haven’t caught up on the comments but er, no homeless women? Guess I must have been imagining the last 18years of my professional life.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

He really believed that if he were just pure enough, with enough mental energy, he could make money appear out of thin air, walk on water and control the universe, just by thinking about it. And that wasn’t the worst of it, sadly. Last I heard, he was living in a tent city cult commune and was planning on going to Siberia to find a magical cedar tree that will make him immortal.

Were you in California, and is your ex Russian? If so I think I know him…did he think that humans were capable of photosynthesis if they just concentrated hard enough too?

Argenti Aertheri
Argenti Aertheri
11 years ago

Cassandra — idk about photosynthesis, but the rest of that is straight out of some really shitty “Magick 101” books (like, I can scan you the “$100 bill trick” if you want)

Consumerism at it’s finest. But my book to teach you how to make money appear! (Note, the book I have is more sacred space stuff, very much like the new “relaxation room” trends, but with a pagan bent; but I can totally see people buying into it wholesale)

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The dude I knew seriously thought that humans were capable of photosynthesis and Evil Powers were Conspiring to keep this knowledge from us in order to enslave us. We have lots of people who’re wacky in that particular way here.

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

@CassandraSays: He’s Ukranian, but regularly refers to himself as Russian. We didn’t live in California, but he took a lengthy road trip through about… 4 or 5 years ago, to find $180 million dollars in treasure buried in a mountain just outside Phoenix, because a Paulo Cohelo book said so.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

The one I knew delivered drugs for the Russian mafia, so probably not the same guy. Not surprised that your ex ended up here, though, we seem to be catnip for people with odd theories.

pecunium
11 years ago

Nova: *waves* Female combat vet here.

What was your unit/rotation? (if you don’t mind saying, in public)?

I was in OIF-1, with A/519th MI.

One of the best grenadiers I know (M-203) was a small woman; about 5’1″, and maybe 110 lbs. A 40lb vest of grenades, and the 15 lbs of rifle/launcher was her everyday rig.

And no one was going to be allowed to carry it for her.

Yeah.

katz
11 years ago

One of the best grenadiers I know (M-203) was a small woman; about 5’1″, and maybe 110 lbs. A 40lb vest of grenades, and the 15 lbs of rifle/launcher was her everyday rig.

Seras Victoria?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

“The Great Furry Ones? Oh yes, they are the leaders of the Furinatti. However, as it’s spring time, one of the Great Furry Ones has completely blown his coat, so he’s more like the Great Peachfuzzy One. But, he will be greater and furrier when his spring fur comes back in.”

That image will live with me forever! 😀

pecunium
11 years ago

katz: much more kick-ass. 🙂

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

@CassandraSays: Nope, not my ex, although I think I know the guy you’re talking about and what happened to make him so… eccentric.

@Pecunium: I was in a combined artillery battallion in the Czech Land Forces. I don’t like to talk about it much online, as I’m very easily findable online, with a little information.

pecunium
11 years ago

Nova: I understand. No worries, it’s why I qualified my question.

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

@Pecunium: Thanks for understanding. It’s incredible what you can find out, just with someone’s full name, or even an often used handle :shudders:

@kittehserf: It’s funnier in person, LOL. My other ferrets don’t molt nearly as much, so it was surprising. The fur on his head, legs and tail are normal, but his back and belly lost all of the brown guard hairs and are covered in soft white peachfuzzy stuff. One day, my little PUF was chocolate brown and now dude’s practically naked.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

It’s even funnier being a ferret, my mind defaulted to cat! 😀

Nova
Nova
11 years ago

@kittehserf: With the amount of hair that little stinker spread all over my HUGE house (all 500sqft of it,) youd think that he was a cat or a medium sized dog. I’m ever thankful that my big bulldog ferret doesn’t molt like that or it’d be like the popcorn scene in Real Genius.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

@Maude LL

I bet he doesn’t know that most free shelters don’t accept women either, because they have serious problems with rape. That’s why we have women’s shelters, the ‘normal’ shelters are for men. Same for soup kitchens. They accept women in soup kitchens, but sexual harassment (including touching) is the norm for women who eat there.

Oh 🙁 Faith in humanity lowering some more…

LBT
LBT
11 years ago

RE: Amnesia

I’ve been skidding on the unstable housing rails for a while. Right now, I have a room, for a little while anyway, but would you be willing to talk with me about your experience with the shelter system? Seeing as I’m likely to end up there, I’d like to know more about it.

bootsboneromanov
bootsboneromanov
9 years ago

Mothers tend to get the sons that they bring up. A very startling study done in Boston in the 1970s under Dr R. W. Reynolds suggests that nearly all homophobic males entered Kindergarten as homophobes. So far as I know, that means that the homophobe learnt his homophobia in a female-dominated environment; nor was it corrected by the mother, apparently. Thereafter, grammar school is female-dominated. Boys don’t even get a chance to learn homophobia from men until they’re in their teens and in high school in most jurisdictions. Yes, homophobia has female origins. It may be one of those ugly facts we ignore because it appears unchivalrous; certainly it is denied by almost women. “Who me? I don’t fart.”

weirwoodtreehugger
9 years ago

You necro’d a thread from two years ago to tell us about a forty year old study without linking to it? Twenty bucks says that study never actually even says that it’s all the mother’s fault. I’m guessing that’s your university of assfax educated guess. The notion that boys have no male influences either in the family or popular culture is absolutely absurd. I’m not saying that women are never homophobic, but to claim homophobia has female origins is just ridiculous and unfounded.

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