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Homophobia totally the fault of straight women, according to Men’s Rights Redditors

Men forced into macho straightjacked by straight women's expectations, out cruising for chicks.
Men forced into hypermasculine role by straight women, out cruising for chicks.

So we learned the other day from that Man Going His Own Way that male violence was, like, totally the fault of evil sexy ladies. Now, from this Men’s Rights Redditor, we learn that homophobia — or at least homophobia directed at gay men — is all the fault of straight women and their desire for macho dudes. Because straight men don’t ever express any sort of hostility towards gay or effeminate men — it’s just those darn ladies!

I've said this many times in different circumstances, but I fully believe the push for hyper-masculinity is not caused by a desire to prove masculinity to ones peers or caused by some latent homophobia. The cause of hyper-masculinity and its associated homophobic undertones is caused by straight women and what they as a group have deemed "totally unacceptable" in a mate.  Appearing gay (I'm gay) has never really caused me any heartache within a group of men. Even if those men don't know I'm gay and just think I'm an effeminate weirdo. In mixed groups of men and women, it has. I think it stems from female judgement of men who aren't "masculine enough" to be inferior for relationships, men pick up on it and boost up the masculinity and inter-male aggression/intolerance of behaviors not considered normal.  It also comes from widespread female intolerance of any sort of homosexual or "appearing homosexual" behavior in potential mates, an intolerance which isn't found among men. Ask any straight man you know if he would dump his girlfriend/wife if he found out she had lesbian sex before they were dating. Now ask any straight woman you know if she would dump her boyfriend/husband if she found out he had gay sex before they were dating. I have asked these questions to many people. The answers have always backed up my position. I actually had a couple women tell me that they would leave their husbands if they found out that he had fooled around with a guy as young as highschool.
But, huh, what about all those straight dudes who are always calling other dudes “gay” and, you know, that other word that starts with an “f?”

Well, apparently that’s just playful joshing. No harm, no foul! If anything, it shows how wonderfully tolerant of gayness these guys are. I mean, come on, if you can’t see this, you must be stupid, or something. Or so says this other Men’s Rights Redditor:

It takes some advanced cognitive ability to comprehend why most men tease one another for being gay. It has little to do with homosexuality, real or perceived. It is about acceptance. It is also about challenging perception. When one man calls his friend "gay", he is playfully asserting his own dominance over his friend. He is also insinuating not only that he would still accept and love his friend, but also that he recognizes that everyone's at least a little gay, and that they have both grown out of any childish notions of homosexuality being bad and thereby being hurt by being called "gay". They are sharing a bonding experience of mutual acceptance, playfulness, and even affection through this social ritual. One could even suggest that faux male gay shaming is a method of expressing homosexuality in a manner that rates low enough on the kinsey scale to suit their comfort.  Or we could just take it at face value and refuse to explore the psychodynamic behind the process. It seems more convenient when obtuseness is a preferred weapon.

They’re just having a little fun. You’re not against fun, are you?

Thanks to the AgainstMen’sRights subreddit for pointing me to these quotes.

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pecunium
11 years ago

Argenti: Oh so that’s why you wear a skirt! (Note to the rest of you, for the purpose of this post kilt = skirt)

A kilt is a skirt. It’s a type, as is a broomstick, or a panel, or a wraparound, or a mini, etc.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I live in a fairly small city and still see homeless women all over the place. In London you can’t walk more than a few blocks in the West End without seeing homeless teenagers of both sexes camping out.

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
11 years ago

Ever seen a homeless woman? Me neither.

Go fuck yourself. I have. The person I love more

pecunium
11 years ago

At some point you decided that men ware the enemy and all chance of making the world better was lost

She did? How do you know this?

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Are you watching Buffy from the start, cloudiah? I’ve never seen it. But then I only ever watched one ep of The X Files, too …

Speaking of which, I hear Matt Smith is leaving Dr Who. Anyone got a wish list for the next Doctor?

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Is it weird that I’ve never owned a proper kilt as an adult? I had one as a child, and I have a mini kilt that I bought in my teens, but no proper kilts. My father must be so ashamed.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Re Buffy, you guys know that Jenny Trout (she of the awesome 50 Shades mockery posts) is also doing Bufft recaps?

Nepenthe
Nepenthe
11 years ago

Sorry, cat posted.

Anyway, the woman I love more than anyone else in the world was homeless for years. Probably because the patriarchy loves women.

You’re not funny anymore Sparky. Now you’re just reminding me of the assholes who are shitty to her.

*spits in your general direction*

pecunium
11 years ago

I just ordered a new one (modern). I have three plaids, and one solid trad (black watch, US Army, and Calif). I have a two moderns, but neither is quite right in the waist, one of of them is going back for adjustment this week. The other I need to repair (i.e. make smaller).

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Cassandra – does this mean you’re No True Scotswoman? :O

Shiraz
Shiraz
11 years ago

Buffy the Vampire Slayer and the X-Files are some of the best things ever.

Troll can still go fuck himself.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

I also hate whisky and barely tolerate haggis. I am a Bad Scot. Um, I like all of the sweets, including whisky flavored things?

katz
11 years ago

Has anyone else seen a homeless woman?

Not just seen, but enumerated. Census job.

(Yes, I was taking advantage of the government’s chivalrous quotas to get three whole days of work.)

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I hope kilts are cheaper in the US than they are here, pecunium!

cloudiah
11 years ago

Nepenthe, my cat actually made an Outlook Calendar appointment for me, that came up today. It just said “h hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhuuuiuiuuuu’

I tried to attend that meeting, but it didn’t have a location. Buster is just not a very good personal assistant.

pecunium, thanks for the spoons explanation.

And kittehs, yes, I have been watching from the beginning. That and The Wire. And assorted Criterion films. I got a Roku and have temporarily subscribed to EVERYTHING so I am trying to watch EVERYTHING until I cancel most of it.

cloudiah
11 years ago

@katz, Census work is hard. Thank you for doing it. I just found my grandfather in the 1920s census, so I’m feeling very favorably disposed towards census workers.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

I Am a Bad Scot, another band name!

The one time I tried haggis was soooo disappointing. Serves me right for eating it in a pub, I guess. Tasted like ordinary mincemeat that had been soaked in natron pepper for forty days.

At least the neeps and tatties were good.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Tsk, tsk, cloudiah – of course Buster is a very good PA, it’s not her fault you can’t read Cat. You should be grateful when one of the furry overlords does things for you, you, you human.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Haggis is kind of a specialized thing, I wouldn’t recommend eating it in any place that doesn’t focus on it. It also requires a certain ability to not think about how it’s made, at least for me.

Hmm, I wonder if my cousin who lives in Australia could be recruited into this hypothetical band…not only does she love U2 far more than Simple Minds, she married an Englishman.

pecunium
11 years ago

Kittehs: I hope kilts are cheaper in the US than they are here, pecunium!

They vary. 75-200 is the going price for non-wool (very good fake wool, or non-wool-like materials). For wool (light, 6-8 oz, 4-6 yards) the prices run from 150-300.

There is a woman in Ariz. who went to Scotland and learned how to weave plaids for kilts. She starts at about 800USD for a 6-8 yard, in a 6-8 oz weight. I’d like to get a couple from her US Army, pleated to stripe, and a Calif. pleated to sett).

katz
11 years ago

At least the neeps and tatties were good.

I love British things that sound like you’re speaking a made-up language.

CassandraSays
CassandraSays
11 years ago

Bubble and squeak is my favorite (the sound of it, not the taste). Also toad in the hole.

melody
melody
11 years ago

I have horrid luck. My bed frame broke today. Boo.

And as far as homeless individuals I met several youth who had been homeless for several years. Boys and girls.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

Don’t forget Spotted Dick!

(This is turning into that conversation Nanny and Granny had about food names in Foreign all being rude.)

Pecunium – yup, that’s cheaper than here. A standard 8 yard kilt is about $550.

pecunium
11 years ago

Kittehs, for a wool kilt, the going price for an 8 yard, in 8 oz is about 750USD.

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