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JudgyBitch: Wives with low libido are man-hating bigots

Dudes: If your wife isn't horny for yoy, she's probably into misandry and witchcraft and maybe Pinterest.
Dudes: If your wife isn’t horny for you, she’s probably into misandry and witchcraft and possibly even Pinterest.

In a post ostensibly about the imminent arrival of female Viagra, our dear friend JudgyBitch weighs in on yet another subject about which she knows shit: the reasons that women who are not her might not want to have sex with their husbands:

Loss of libido in women, excepting rare medical conditions, in my opinion, is a direct result of not seeing men as emotionally complex beings. If you’re married, at some point, your husband probably stood in front of you and promised to love you forever. Rejecting him physically is a very wounding thing to do. It hurts. Sex is one of the most important, intimate ways married couples show that they love one another. Refusing to have sex with your husband is telling him, in a very painful way, that you don’t love him. That you don’t care for him or about him.

Huh. If I hadn’t seen her on video, thus confirming her status as an adult human female, I would have a hard time believing that it was an actual woman saying this and not some horny, creepy teenage boy in the process of trying to manipulate his girlfriend into “going all the way.”

Oh, but she’s got more:

I guess the only way to justify that is to think of men as emotionless. It doesn’t hurt men to be rejected because they don’t feel anything to begin with.

Really? The only way to justify saying “no” to your husband when you don’t want to have sex with him is if you convince yourself he’s emotionless? But women should just force themselves to say “yes” to sex when they don’t want to and simply endure what follows?

That’s the ugly little reality behind female viagara. Will it actually boost women’s libido? Who knows. What difference will it make, though, if women are going to continue to see men as less than completely human? That’s the real problem.

Does anyone know where to get irony meters at a reasonable price? Mine just leapt off the table, ran around the room screaming, and exploded.

 

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thecategoricalhousewife

Women usually lose sex drive (from what I have read from psychology books) from the lack of intimacy with the husband, for example if the husband is a jerk who does not help her around the house and expects her to do it all. She will be exhausted, she will lose attraction to him because he is being a moron. When it comes to sex both partners should work on keeping the fire. It should not be one way, and the wife should not just always do it, just because. Although, I am against sexual manipulation (withholding sex because of a fight – especially if that fight is over something small, in such cases sex could actually solve the particular fight).

starskita
7 years ago

potential TMI:
I refuse to have sex with my husband these days, because I tell him that it would be uncomfortable for me. (I’m 7 months pregnant). *Not* rejecting him physically would hurt me.

Also with the baby kicking all the time, It feels really creepy to me if we start getting it on, even in ways that wouldn’t bug all my excessively sensitive bits.

Fortunately, my husband isn’t an ass and doesn’t say the things judgybitch (and what feels like the rest of the world) says.

GreySky
GreySky
7 years ago

Shorter JB: Everything that goes on with a woman is about a man/men.

cloudiah
7 years ago

And GreySky nails it.

seraph4377
7 years ago

Didn’t follow the link. Is she talking about the kind of situation where a couple doesn’t have sex for weeks or months, which really does suck and which can seriously make you feel like you’re not pretty? Or does she really consider “Aw, honey, I’m sorry, but I’m just too tired tonight” to be misandry?

I mean hell, most people can deal with that just fine with a “okay, could you just keep the door closed for about a half-hour then?”. Most halfway mature people, anyway.

seraph4377
7 years ago

Didn’t follow the link. Is she talking about the kind of situation where a couple doesn’t have sex for weeks or months, which really does suck and which can seriously make you feel like you’re not pretty? Or does she really consider “Aw, honey, I’m sorry, but I’m just too tired tonight” to be misandry?

I mean hell, most people can deal with that just fine with a “okay, could you just keep the door closed for about a half-hour then?”. Most halfway mature people, anyway.

seraph4377
7 years ago

Sorry for the double post. Phone is misbehaving.

reginaldgriswold
reginaldgriswold
7 years ago

Well of course “I’m too tired” is misandry. Women obviously contribute nothing to society and therefore can’t be tired. I know that when I got done with my 28-hour travel day home, I was really just trying to bring my husband down by not getting with him.

Xen
Xen
7 years ago

Again, glad I’m a non-romantic asexual. These relationships don’t ever seem worth the trouble.

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Well, I can buy that certain kinds of rejection would require not seeing your husband as fully human. Like, if you were to shout in his face “How DARE you approach me in a sexual way, you disgusting smelly piece of shit? How DARE you believe anyone would ever want to have sex with you?” and then finish it off with a super-villain laugh while twirling your moustache (obviously, as a man hater, you have hair everywhere).

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Didn’t follow the link. Is she talking about the kind of situation where a couple doesn’t have sex for weeks or months, which really does suck and which can seriously make you feel like you’re not pretty?

Even if she is, she couldn’t jump to the conclusion that the person who doesn’t want to have sex for weeks or months must see the other one as emotionless and non-human. I grant that a person who’s first interested in sex and then lose all that interest shows that there are problems in the marriage, but there are all kinds of problems one can have which doesn’t boil down to “seeing one’s spouse as emotionless and non-human”.

seraph4377
7 years ago

Of course. I was just trying to guage how ridiculous she was being.

Bad_dog
Bad_dog
7 years ago

So… Her solution is the woman then has to be non-human, because she has no right to say no? That’s pretty much what she’s advocating. I don’t get this notion MRA’s and the like have that not doing everything a man wants all the time is taking away his rights. News flash both men and women can both have rights, at the same time even! It’s really not that hard to navigate.

cloudiah
7 years ago

For some reason, this is all reminding me of an earlier (and hilarious) discussion on this very blog.

Vagina-havers must do their duty by penis-havers, after all.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Also, I think it is important to tell you that my cat Buster just jumped higher than my head trying to catch a fly. (I’m 5’8″.) Cats are impressive creatures.

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

Damn she’s dumb. What if it’s the man who doesn’t want sex, or does that never happen in her fantasy land?

In other news, Vegas was fun, and my ass is dragging.

augochlorella
augochlorella
7 years ago

@ cloudiah

That is impressive. Have you considered encouraging your cat to take up a sport or fight crime or something?

cloudiah
7 years ago

Hey, hellkell! Would you like me to make you a gin & tonic? A cup of tea? Glad you had fun in Sin City.

augochlorella, if I could sew I would make her a little cape.

ignotussomnium
ignotussomnium
7 years ago

For most MRAs, I imagine this situation is true. Many women want to have sex with men who are interesting and emotionally mature human beings. That isn’t a description you can apply to most MRAs.

emilygoddess
7 years ago

@Cloudiah if I could sew I would make your cat a little cape, just to see it.

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

o.O

Loss of libido in women, excepting rare medical conditions, in my opinion, is a direct result of not seeing men as emotionally complex beings.

I don’t see how this makes any sense. I’m glad that she specified that it’s her opinion because opinion is basically meaningless in subjects where there are actual facts to consider, but even taking that into account, I don’t see how it follows that not being horny means you think men are cardboard cutouts.
I don’t have a direct experience of this, because I’m man-bodied, and everyone knows that men and women are different species, but when I have a low libido, it’s because I am an emotionally complex being who has shit going on outside of the bedroom, some of which is draining… and sometimes I’m just not all that horny, just because I’m not always swimming in hormones. It seems to me that, if my own experiences with low libido are related to my own emotional complexity, and not the lack of it in my partners, then it’s probably a similar cause in the lady-shaped humans around me.

Athywren
Athywren
7 years ago

… and I need to learn to punctuate properly. :

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

I am very afraid of her channel. Anyone has watched it? (anyone with a stronger stomach than mine?)

There’s a video about Rape Culture which, although I’m curious to know what she could have said, I’m afraid of watching.

On topic… isn’t a couple made of 2 people? and if the guy wants no sex? I have heard of couples in which the man is not interested and, to me, it’s an issue that should be discussed within the couple. The examples I have heard usually meant relationship problems. When they were solved, when they were, the sexual problem was also solved.

La Strega
7 years ago

I expect the prospective market for this female Viagra are middle-aged women like myself (somewhere between menopause and death) who find that their libidos have flat-lined along with their hormone levels. I would be thrilled to recover my desire, not to please my partner so much as to recapture part of the vigor of my youth. I’ve even tried low doses of testosterone, to no avail and a variety of herbal products. JudyBitch, judge not lest thee be judged.

Also, is it possible that part of the venom directed a female Viagra is the fear that women, particularly older women, might demand more sex than their husbands can provide?

La Strega
7 years ago

@Pineapplecookies,

Re/ watching JudyBitch’s channel, be afraid. Be very afraid.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

but when I have a low libido, it’s because I am an emotionally complex being who has shit going on outside of the bedroom, some of which is draining… and sometimes I’m just not all that horny, just because I’m not always swimming in hormones.

I was thinking about that too! You have expressed it better than my mental process.

La Strega
7 years ago

Damn, I keep conflating JudgyBitch with Judge Judy. Pardon the typo in my comment above.

melody
7 years ago

The sex=love argument. I have heard it far too many times.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

The sex=love argument. I have heard it far too many times.

I meant the couples with problems I knew about, I also believe it’s far more complicated than that.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

There are bound to be some women who are being sexually abused in relationships with men who come across this article and take it to heart, thereby maintaining narratives that manipulate them into “accepting” their abuse. And then if those relationships have children they may be exposed to such narratives as they watch the interactions between their mothers and fathers. And then they’ll most likely internalize all of those narratives as they grow up. I know that some people might see that as a slippery slope, but I think things like that happen very often.

The very thought makes me feel sick. Just because she’s on the internet doesn’t mean that she can’t cause real damage. In fact, she probably already has – with her words alone.

Fuck you JB. You are beyond despicable.

La Strega
7 years ago

I’m not sure why, but JudgyBitch (aka Janet Bloomfield) is The Worst of the Worst. She just terrifies me. I’ve called her “Courtney Love of the Internet,” but in fact that’s an insult to Love, who at least has written some great song lyrics.

La Strega
7 years ago

I mean “the Courtney Love of the Manosphere,” Ugh, I’m having trouble today, better quit posting.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

who is the worst in your opinion? JudgyBitch or TyphonBlue?

auggziliary
auggziliary
7 years ago

She’s not even subtle with this shit. Why can’t a man sacrifice his boner so his wife doesn’t have to have sex when she’s too tired? Why is it always the woman who has to suck it up and please her man?

I kind of want to watch those youtube videos but I am also scared. I was just going to mute the video and troll in the comments. But I’m afraid of seeing nasty shit in the comments, with like 30+ votes or something.

pineapplecookies
pineapplecookies
7 years ago

I kind of want to watch those youtube videos but I am also scared. I was just going to mute the video and troll in the comments. But I’m afraid of seeing nasty shit in the comments, with like 30+ votes or something.

yep… same here.

auggziliary
auggziliary
7 years ago

Also, by her “logic”, when a man doesn’t want to have sex with his wife, is he a complete misogynist then?

augochlorella
augochlorella
7 years ago

I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but her entire premise is… off.

So she’s saying that the real reason some women have low libidos is because they don’t see their husbands as full human beings deserving of sex. If that’s the case, why would this hypothetical woman be taking female Viagra?

Via her argument, the giving of sex to a husband is proof that the wife views the husband as human, but if the wife views the husband as human she would never have lost her libido in the first place.

I’m trying to think through a migraine, so maybe I’m missing something here, but I’m having trouble identifying exactly what she’s complaining about.

auggziliary
auggziliary
7 years ago

Sorry for so many posts, and off topic, but racist asshats are flipping their shit over the new cheerios ad. The ad has a family with a white mom, black dad, and their daughter. Apparently that’s uber-offensive to some.

auggziliary
auggziliary
7 years ago

@augochlorella, I noticed the same thing at first, but then the rest of the “logic” threw me off.

How do people get this bad at arguing? I get how sometimes people can hold racist or sexist views, since they were raised that way and never saw it on paper, but she sees her own stuff like daily, and many criticisms of her stuff too… How do these things not cross her mind?

Ashley
7 years ago

Wow. I am almost embarrassed for JB at her display of logic. You know, I don’t pretend to know JB or know anything about her life, but here she is completely acting as if she knows every woman on the planet. I will give her credit for at least saying, “in my opinion” but then she counteracts that by taking her own opinion so seriously and acting as if it’s fact. Needless to say, she has no idea what she’s talking about in this whole process. I feel the need to start throwing books at her. Hopefully she’ll either start writing less and reading more or one of them will hit her and knock some sense into her delusional head.

Tulgey Logger
Tulgey Logger
7 years ago

The kind of man who would see his partner’s lack of libido as an emotionally core-wounding blow is probably very emotionally complicated, but not very emotionally mature.

Ashley
7 years ago

“Also, by her “logic”, when a man doesn’t want to have sex with his wife, is he a complete misogynist then?”

Here’s a discussion you’ll never see be touched around the manosphere. If it is, a million dollars says that they’d say, “If a man rejects a woman for sex, chances are she was being a selfish bitch and deserves no reward for her misbehavior.”

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

I had a bf who pretty much loss interest in being sexual with me entirely several months into our relationship. Was it a difficult for me to deal with that? Yes. Did I think he meant he did not see me as a human being? Not for a second. My libido-less bf still had far more respect for me as a woman then JB here. She can go to hell. I will never understand why some people have to be so willfully vile. All I can figure out to do about it right now is go buy some Cheerios.

grumpycatisagirl
7 years ago

then s/b than. Sorry, I can’t let that one go uncorrected.

La Strega
7 years ago

@ grumpycatisagirl

Cheerios sound pretty good to me right now too.

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Honey nut Cheerios are fabulous. Especially with extra honey.

Maude LL
7 years ago

@Cloudiah
Ha! I missed the ‘standard vagina access’ discussion. A clear example of how ingrained the equation “sex=treating your partner like an emotionally complex human being=love” is to MRAs.
I would go further and mention that people of any gender can have sex for good mutual fun, but there’s just so much JB can take at a time. “Crrrr… casual sex does not equal selfish golddigger…zzzbblll…. gender is more complex than binary model… ccrrrrzzzz BAM *brain blown.*”
(That’s my depiction of what would happen if JB realized the wealth of possibilities in human interactions)

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago
Maude LL
7 years ago

[TW – pedophilia/rape.]

That reminds me about her post about poor persecuted pedophiles who fell for the trap laid by 12 year old girls to have sex with them for free candy (hypergamy, of course). Does that fit anywhere in this model of sexuality? (It’s a rhetorical question, I don’t really want to know)
Bleach shower time!

neuroticbeagle
neuroticbeagle
7 years ago

arg! Well, here is a site you can watch it. The comments are ok too.

http://img1.catalog.video.msn.com/Image.aspx?uuid=0255fe0a-673d-4204-963a-223ee1de0918&w=624&h=351&so=4

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