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Friendzoning: The Rage Comics

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Two rage comics that capture well the true human tragedy that is FRIENDZONING, both of which I found in the awesome Blue Pill subreddit. The one above is by dont_buy_me_gold; the one below by SaltyChristian (who is, incidentally, a CERTIFIED ALPHA).

I have heard rumors that the entire Blue Pill subreddit is not actually a hangout for super alpha dudes but rather a parody of the Red Pill subreddit but I choose not to believe them, much in the same way I choose not to believe in the supposed “law” of gravity. It’s A THEORY, people!

(Note: These are both parodies, by the way, in case there is any confusion.)

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Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Glitter yarn sounds very messy! But I was calling it artsy because that variegation is gorgeous.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

That yarn’s gorgeous – just the peacock shade I was guessing from your description.

Argenti, that colour would go beautifully with your hair. ::thinks of knitted beret::

cloudiah
7 years ago

I am not that into yarn/knitting etc., so I never thought I would say this, but OMG THAT YARN IS GORGEOUS.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Yarn Seduction!

cloudiah
7 years ago

I HAVE BEEN SEDUCED BY YARN. I AM HYPERYARNOUS.

pecunium
7 years ago

That yarn was a pain. Very fine (ah my god, so thin), and I did it all on the spindle. I’ll know tomorrow, but, at a guess, it’s between 900-1,200 yards. Total spinning time… I don’t know, between 2-3 meters a minute?

But the real pain is that I didn’t realise how much the fiber would try to felt from being in my knapsack (I did a lot of my spinning on the subway).

I’ll know tomorrow if it’s got a decent hand. I’ll take pictures.

pecunium
7 years ago

Sorry, I left out the weight… it’s two oz or so, of yarn.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Then of course there’s Yarn Destruction, with a side order of Kitten Photobombing:

http://youtu.be/lvtsiyMutT4

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Hyperyarny, it is a thing! One goes to the shop and does one buy the NiceYarn(TM) that only costs $5 a ball? No, one buys the AlphaAssholeYarn(TM) that costs three times that much!

cloudiah
7 years ago

Kittehs, I would hardly buy the yarn myself! I would sit in the yarn aisle and cry until some mangina bought (and spun) it for me. (Is it only yarn after it’s spun? I know nuthin’.)

Aaliyah
7 years ago

Well, think of this: cash, perhaps for therapy, and a shitload of good stuff to go on your CV.

(Would that help with your college acceptance, btw?)

I’m not sure if it would help with my college acceptance, unfortunately, but it’ll at least help me with jobs and such.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

@Aaliyah – So, it might be a pain in the arse but it certainly has points for the future. Wouldn’t hurt to let the college know though, I guess?

At any rate, it’s time spent away from your old man, and that’s got to be good.

@cloudiah – true, I haven’t got my Theory of Hyperyarny worked out properly yet! How could I forget the need to have a mangina around to pay?

The yarn I’m thinking of is the ready to knit/crochet stuff in shops. I suppose it’s only called yarn when it’s spun, but Sir Pecunium would be the one to answer that. It’s taken me long enough to stop calling it wool regardless of the composition (wool, cashmere, angora, alpaca, silk, cotton, synthetic, any of the above in combination, etc, etc).

pecunium
7 years ago

cloudiah: It is yarn after it’s spun. Most yarn shops don’t carry roving/top (the most common forms of prepared fiber, for spinning. one is for woolen/semi-woolen/semi-worsted, the other for worsted/semi-worsted) or spindles/wheels/cards/niddy-noddys/lazy-kates, &c, which the spinner needs to turn fiber into yarn.

I’m not sure what marks the difference between yarn/thread, but all I make is yarn.

cloudiah
7 years ago

Well since all I do is sit and cry, I just need to know which aisle to do that in. 🙂

cloudiah
7 years ago

(but thanks for the info!)

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Well since all I do is sit and cry, I just need to know which aisle to do that in.

Thank goodness I wasn’t drinking when I read that.

Here we go, Wiki to the rescue:

“Yarn is a long continuous length of interlocked fibres, suitable for use in the production of textiles, sewing, crocheting, knitting, weaving, embroidery, and ropemaking.[1] Thread is a type of yarn intended for sewing by hand or machine. Modern manufactured sewing threads may be finished with wax or other lubricants to withstand the stresses involved in sewing.[2] Embroidery threads are yarns specifically designed for hand or machine embroidery.”

cloudiah
7 years ago

PLEASE CLEAN UP LADYTEARS ON THE FIBER AISLE, STAT!

Dvärghundspossen
7 years ago

Okay, I’m a bit worried now. I was recently at a car shop and bought some stuff for my car, including a new wiper for the rear window, and the guy at the shop helped me attach it to the car. Also gave me lots of car advice. Now, since I paid him, are we even? Or do I owe him sex as well? I need to know!

pecunium
7 years ago

Ok, so thread is an intent issue. Hey Argenti… that yarn I sent you? I can send you some thread like that next time. 🙂

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Not sure what I’d do with thread, the weight you sent matches my gloves surprisingly well (well for the frankengloves, the yarn is lovely!)

Waxing tip? I have a strange way of waxing thread, wrap it around the French press, and then run it along a candle. Gets enough on there for it to glide smooth, but not enough to get wax on your fabric. (French press has to be hot of course, and I see no reason a kettle couldn’t work, but the press is round and thus easy to loop around)

Ooo! I could use thread in that color to attach whatever gears I end up making whenever I actually make that kilt. Up to you then! (And include your full zip code this time and I’ll send origami in exchange!)

pecunium
7 years ago

I was making slight joke. I can send some singles of a light weight, and you can use it as thread (or, if I send you some more 2-ply you can just unspin the plies).

I got 154 yards of the clean ply of that yarn, so my estimates of length were off, by a lot. Total is probably about 200 yards, which is about 60 percent of what I thought I’d be getting.

I clearly suck at spinning (no, actually I don’t, but I’, shit as guessing how many “makes” I’ve done).

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

I do often sew with embroidery floss…

Easier to get multiple strands in one go = less bad if it snaps (not that happens often when sewing by hand)

In any case, do I want to send you origami. I have origami paper, envelopes and stamps, it’s basically free and it’ll go all springy. Could do a gyroscope, but that’d require a box, not that we don’t have a shit ton of those.

jonatma420
7 years ago

I’ve got a feeling that the friendzone is something you know quite a lot about, Kittin Boy.

Myoo
Myoo
7 years ago

It takes a really sad outlook on life to think that “you have a lot of friends” is an insult.

Briznecko
Briznecko
7 years ago

0/10 Weaksauce.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

Wait, who’s kitten boy? Did he mean knitting? o.O?

hellkell
hellkell
7 years ago

I bet it took trollboy hours to come up with that insult, and I have a feeling we’re looking at what passes for his best work. Totes weak, dude.

cloudiah
7 years ago

I bet it took trollboy hours to come up with that insult, and I have a feeling we’re looking at what passes for his best work.

It is kind of sad that they think they’re hurting David (or us) with these sad little drive-by insults. I mean, NWOSlave insulted us better than that for months, and it didn’t even dent our armor. We just laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaugh.

Argenti Aertheri
7 years ago

“Best” NWO insult? The day he was laughing at me for trusting “big gov’n” statistics…I was citing the CDC. Your conspiracy means the CDC falsifies statistics and I’m such a fool for citing them — ooooh BURNED!! XD

katz
7 years ago

Or the time he criticized my handle for containing a Z, which isn’t a real English letter.

thebionicmommy
thebionicmommy
7 years ago

I love the insult “I hope you feminists enjoy being ALONE WITH YOUR CATS!”. Cats are wonderful company, so thank you for telling me I will spend so much with cats in the future. I don’t see how that is supposed to be a bad thing.

pecunium
7 years ago

I think Kitten Boi was aimed at Dave (what with the manosphere obsession with how many cats people keep).

But maybe it was at me? In either case, the lack of identifiable target makes it pointless.

Kittehserf
7 years ago

Kitten Boi could be most of the guys who post regularly here, but it was probably aimed at Dave.

Let’s see, what’s more pathetic: a guy who runs a blog with lots of regulars who like him and each other, talk about all sorts of stuff, have fun and have in several cases met in meatspace as a result,

or

a troll who makes misspelt drive-by comments trying to insult people, displays nothing but ignorance and spite, is desperate enough to snipe at animals, and generally comes across like an immature fourteen-year-old?

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