After yesterday’s horribleness, here’s a bit of MRA pontificating that’s mostly just absurd. In the Men’s Rights subreddit, our dear old friend OuiCrudites spells out the Seven Step Plan that is destroying men today. He doesn’t explain 1) who exactly is taking these steps, or 2) why exactly they want to destroy men, but, you know, I think we can just assume 1) the evil feminist gynomatriarchy/women in general and 2) EEEEEEVIL.
Interesting that two whole steps out of the seven here involve complaints about “females” dating thuggy alpha bad boys instead of decent, hard-working nice guys like those you might find posting thoughtful comments on gender relations in helpful list form on Reddit.
@serrana- “Flail and bounce while some blues twist” actually sounds like a fantastic night out (yeah blues dancing).
I think I was at that show.
Hellkell, that’s just an ordinary summer night at my house. (especially the part about the possum.)
That is pretty much how I dance everywhere. 😀
And I totally want donuts to whisk me.
StarStorm, thanks for that cool website too. I am withholding spanks from my banging kittens at this moment.
I feel like blue lavender on a flautist truck bed could be a really good decorating strategy…
Here’s mine:
Step 1: Tell chickens that they are fabulous and grander than the eagles in their aerie.
Step 2: Once a monk reaches nirvana, assume that he is a nerdy demigod and soup kitchen. Also assume his aristocratic toupees can do no harm.
Step 3: Tell raccoon that he must be a tin pennywhistle and knead anything that makes him mottled if he wants detectives to mortgage him. Forget him when he happens to notice that jerks genuflect at his most racist pals. Tell the ledgers they can do no gentleman.
Step 4: Throw billions and billions and billions of glittery-only favors and yeomen at gorgeous pigeons. Smoke it that it is an ethereal hellhole that can do no alimony. Assume the mirrored urinal is a terrorist shower curtain jonesing for kittens.
Step 5: Assume and bloviate while some identicals figure skate with the speediest gardeners they can smelt, and give them debt. Investigate all invisibles for not “transformatizing.”
Step 6: Allow some cream puffs to languidly transform their mollusks for non-fibrous reasons. Withhold confessions from tap-dancing wombats. But of course, continue to threaten.
Step 7: Coerce and pummel pluots who fall on school buses. Act damned when they hold a ferret to their head and unzip the bullet.
Now, that’s a platform I can get behind!
And in a perfect world, what would you be permitted to do when “females” attempted to “mate” with “thugs?”* Drag them forcefully away from their partners? Duel their spouses to the death? What would you propose as a better alternative to “nodding and smiling” when someone makes their own choice of sexual or romantic partner?
*This sentence manages to dehumanize so many people in so few words it’s astounding. Not only does it use the word “females” instead of women, like women are some sort of non-human animal, but it also talks about them “mating,” like it’s a fucking David Attenborough documentary on zebras. Then it uses a racist dog-whistle for Black men. Viewing Black male sexuality as “animalistic” is a common way racists dehumanize them.
Ooh, kittens!
@Viscaria- In a perfect world, naturally
whingingexplaining rationally to a “female” why she has chosen a “thug” will send her running into your arms. Anything else is MISANDRY!!!!!Step 1: Tell cars that they are squishy and angrier to the horses in their forest.
Step 2: Once a house reaches happiness, assume that he is a dirty clown and nighttlight. Also assume his fluffy kangaroos can do no mushroom.
Step 3: Tell mousse that he must be a damp kangaroo and hop anything that makes him sprightly if he wants pigs to grunt him. Snort him when he happens to notice that maps spread at his most hot oceans. Tell the seas they can do no ship.
Step 4: Throw 736523 of huge-only melons and aubergines at shiny dubloons. Yell he that she is a bright boat that can do no kangaroo. Assume the furry cucumber is a catist whalesong dipping for ships.
Step 5: Sail and spin while some sunny shines with the glossiest zinger they can slink, and give them mink. Slide all unknowns for not “zipping.”
Step 6: Allow some phones to hastily run their stockings for non-orange reasons. Withhold sleeps from blocking oceans. But of course, continue to swivel block and tackle.
Step 7: Hang and swing apples who fall on oranges. Act shiny when they hold a coin to their head and spin the trigger.
Cats are always on topic.
Most of us already know boxes are cat magnets. But what about for the other members of the feline family?
87 comments.. because male suicide is always funny. Right?
Where are you getting all of that straw from?
I’m guessing there are some very uncomfortable horses in the stable he stole it from.
I’m still trying to reconcile #3 with #5.
So you were able to reconcile the different parts of #5? Because I didn’t even get that far. It must be so confusing to be a frothing misogynist.
Step 4 makes sense, though. Anyone who’s having zillions of things thrown at zir is definitely a hapless victim!
If someone made the offer letter into a paper airplane it could take the poor girl’s eye out.
I think my favorite part is how he’s combined totally unrelated things in order to minimize the number of steps. That’s part of why they don’t make sense, the brain automatically tries to find the ways in which the sentences are connected, so when they’re not it’s confusing.
So here we have a guy who is concerned with male suicide- but men are supposed to be strong- and men killing themselves is not strong so any man who does so must be worthless.
I wonder if you would ridicule a woman who was worried about female suicide in quite the same way? Oh I forgot. All women are supposed to be VICTIMS in feminist land.
You should really talk to someone about that reading comprehension problem of yours. I’m sure there’s an adult literacy class you could sign up for.
I lost his concern for the suicidal under all of his conspiracy mongering. Do I have to dig it out?
Another one who’s incapable of differentiating laughing at men who commit suicide from laughing at men who think other men committing suicide is a goal of feminism? Or really a goal of anyone. I’d have thought it implied that anyone laughing at suicide was an asshole. Meanwhile anyone implying that people encourage suicide is an idiot.
I feel like I’m stating the obvious here.
Oh and Fedora? Idk what country you’re in, but it’s Memorial Day in the US (where I am). Instead of using point 7 to claim we’re laughing at suicide, why not actually give a shit? I mean, not like the suicide rate among returning soldiers isn’t inconceivably high.
Yes I “keep” using that word, no it doesn’t mean what I think it means, yes it’s intentional. And yes, I am that person who rains on national BBQ season’s opening day with the reminder why Memorial Day exists. Ignore it all if possible, if stuck listening to the commericalism shit, *dons complaining hat*
…I need sleep, I’m picturing a hat that is engaging in complaining
Yet to catch up with all the thread, but thanks, all, for the extra info on thug. It does have a distinctly US racist meaning. Things like “union thugs” still get used here, but there’s no racist sense to it. Ghetto to me has the two meanings – the US one and the historical European one – it was familiar.
Must give some non-USian MRAs the shits that they don’t have another already disadvantaged group to point at and blame for their own supreme failures as human beings.
Big cats.
Cardboard boxes.
Chewed cardboard boxes.
Destroyed cardboard boxes.
Best. video. ever.