So “dating” guru Roosh has a post up on his Return of Kings blog by another self-professed dating guru, Alex Matlock, who rates various types of “bad sex” according to the type of female partner who’s involved in them, including such charmingly named types as “The one that tries too much (aka The Disaster)” and “The one that doesn’t move (aka The Starfish or The Doll).”
I expected a good deal of standard-issue manosphere misogyny in Matlock’s list, but I honestly couldn’t make it past his description of what he regards as the second-worst type of female sex partner: “The one that’s scared (aka The Virgin).” Because what he’s describing doesn’t sound so much like “bad sex” as “date rape.”
[TRIGGER WARNING for what follows; emphasis mine.]
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This girl doesn’t necessarily have to be a virgin because she can still act the part many years after she’s popped that priceless cherry. She will usually look at you with fear in her eyes as if she has no idea about what’s going to happen. She gently pushes you away as if she’s not ready for the event and when it does happen she continues to act like it’s the first time. She usually sits in some extremely awkward positions that make you give up and just go missionary. This girl will eventually bust your nut but she’ll surely leave you with a sense of disappointment and/or guilt.
Uh, Mr. Matlock, I’m hoping for everyone’s sake that this is a hypothetical “humorous” scenario you’ve come up with for the sake of this article and not something you’ve been a part of in the actual real world on a regular basis, because, unless you’ve left out that portion of the hypothetical events in which the woman in question clearly and unequivocally consents to having sex with your hypothetical protagonist here, what you’ve just described as “bad sex” (for the hypothetical dude) is actually a description of, well, rape from the point of view of the rapist.
In which case that twinge of guilt your hypothetical protagonist hypothetically feels is probably just the tiny part of his hypothetical self that’s still human reacting to the fact that he JUST (hypothetically) FUCKING RAPED SOMEONE.
MRAs and PUAs and manospherean assholes generally like to pretend that consent is some weird and mysterious thing, but it’s really not. Here’s a hint: if a women looks at you with fear in her eyes and pushes you away all while sitting in a position that makes sex difficult …. all that means NO.
The fact that Matlock — despite those twinges of guilt — still doesn’t regard this as the worst kind of “bad sex” (for the guy) but merely the second-worst adds a certain level of absurdity to the horror.
Given Roosh’s publication of this piece by Matlock, and the fact that he himself has already confessed to committing what would be considered date rape by American standards by having sex with at woman too inebriated to give consent, perhaps it’s time to stop referring to Roosh as a dating guru and to start referring to him as a date rape guru.
I don’t really have anything else to say.
Here, as brain bleach, are some cats with smaller versions of themselves:
Seconding everything Gametime just said.
Ah, abuse. Because confronting the fact that some men are utterly without options (unlike practically any woman) is unwanted contact with reality.
So 90% of women are a$$holes. Good to know.
Wait, I knew that already.
Eurosabra translation time:
Not getting laid is horrible! Deeply horrible! Teh horriblest! We will all die of bluuueeee ballllllssss1!!!!!!11
I’m a sexist dipshit who doesn’t live on earth.
Along with everything else I don’t understand, add ‘reality’ to the list.
No, you’re trying to dictate what my experience was to me.
I am beginning to suspect this dialogue is somewhat unproductive.
@Eurosabra
I’ll bite. How? How am I dictating your experience? How is ‘not getting laid’ some terrible catastrophe?
Don’t worry, cupcake, I knew it wouldn’t be productive when you showed up.
90% of the women you choose to approach are ableist assholes, if that is really the reason they are rejecting you. (I suspect there is more to it than that, as I said above.) If I recall, you like the Hollywood club scene, so you know, that’s kind of the right place to go if you’re looking for someone who is pretty shallow.
Cry harder dude. Your problem is not your disability. Since you can lie about it, you’re not the Elephant Man. Your visage does not activate the shock centers of people’s brains. It apparently doesn’t impede your ability to have a relationship.
Your unfortunate personality, on the other hand…
And 90% of people in general are assholes. You thought women were special in that regard?
You think that people who barely know me have some magic douche detector, when in fact I’ve seem previously-smiling women turn tail and run because I am limping (slightly) as I walk over to them. So, yeah, you’re dictating my experience, and there’s no point in a discussion.
Okay, I haven’t caught up so I may have missed something, but why would you want to stay with someone who hates PWD or thinks that they can’t be romantic partners or w/e.
If I told a guy (or girl, I’m bi) I had fibromyalgia, and they said “Okay, I’m gone”, I’d be like “don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out”, not “NOOOOO LET US STILL SEX”
Ignoring everything else dispicable that you’ve said, which is a lot to ignore.
Since when is Planet Hollywood “Earth”? And If I say that several venues are the often the same, you’ll just attribute it to some putative inherent evil on my part.
As much as I doubt this happened, if they were running away because you were limping it probably wasn’t a good idea to date them anyway.
You did not mention planet hollywood there, so I was assuming you were making a big generalization, since it already was a big generalization.
I don’t know if I’d attribute it to evil intent though, probably some to self-centered-ness and a good amount of confirmation bias. With a heavy dose of sexism.
Argenti: You can call me whatever you want! After all, I’m just a bunch of ferrets in a suit (and by ‘suit’ I actually mean ‘Canadian tux’).
Also, I get you on the “crazy” thing. In addition to my adult traumas, I was molested in childhood and have lived my entire life with PTSD. I seriously did not know until recently that not everyone experiences a constant sense of anxiety and being on edge. Of course, because my family had a lot of nasty ideas about sexual assault victims, even child ones, I was effectively trapped in a state of silence that turned into denial until I reached adulthood. Before I was able to enter therapy with a competent professional, I didn’t even know how to vocalize the experience of molestation, much less untangle the shitshow it had made of my sense of self and understand that what happened was capital-W ‘wrong.’ I was pretty fucked up and no one knew why, so I got a lot of vague diagnoses that were iffy at best, but which still totally wrecked any chance of my being taken seriously by anyone until I was in my early 20s.
A combination of good therapy with a sexual-assault specialist, a regimen of anti-anxiety drugs, hefty amounts of consciousness-raising, and the loving support of Ladyfriend have helped me become an outwardly ‘normal’ person, but I’m still legally disabled and I still have PTSD — which, to most people who hear about it, means I can’t be trusted with basically anything. Including when I say “I was raped” or “my body hurts” (one rapist dislocated my spine and I’m only *just now* getting physical therapy for it three years later) or “I’m sick and am not making that up.”
So, back to thread: it’s extra “crazy”-making for me to read about fools like Warren Farrell not only apologizing but ADVOCATING for rape and child sexual assault — because, hey, instead of feeling sad and terrified all the time as my male family members were alternately passing me amongst themselves, mocking and tormenting me for it, telling each other I was a “little tease”, and lying to my mother and grandmother about what they were doing, I should have just embraced the opportunity to explore my sexuality! Or something.
Except NO. FUCK THAT NOISE. What happened to me and what happens to other victims is WRONG and pretending to ourselves that it isn’t will never magically make it RIGHT. Also? Pointing out that victims are victims IS NOT A BAD THING and it certainly does not in and of itself “victimize” anyone. (I understand that some people like to say ‘survivor’, and that’s their call, but it’s a slightly different story.)
And now we have yet another regular asshole apologist claiming that rape is just something feminists make too big of a deal out of. To which I say, on behalf of myself and all my friends who have been hurt in this way (including, I’m pretty sure, the selective mute guy): Kindly go fuck yourself. I’m not sorry.
Eurosabra, only people who know you, and who are willing to be ruthlessly honest with you, can tell you why you’re so unsuccessful.
All we can say is that you seem like a total douchenozzle on the internet. You seem to like hearing that, since we pretty much say that to you each time you’re here. You know exactly what you’re going to get here, so you really shouldn’t complain — it’s not like we “mildly gaslighted” you by pretending to be nice to asshat PUAs the first few times you stopped by.
Fade: Cue almost a full decade of closing doors. It’s magic, the combination of being SICK and being MALE makes almost ALL women immediately leave. I assume I’ll be alone in navigating the health system should I get really sick and have made plans (and stockpiled documents and medications) to do so. (I don’t have any surviving family.) Have you come to similar conclusions and made similar plans, or do you have a support system, and have you had partners who are willing to act as such? In my experience, that’s RARE.
Omigosh
People with disabilities are oppressed b/c ableism.
But men are NOT oppressed based on gender.
FFS. It is veeeeeerrrrrrry simple. Not being able to get laid is not oppression.
@wguffaw-ferrets
That sounds horrible 🙁 More jedi hugs, if you want them.
@Eurocreep
Now that I know is your confirmation bias.
Because obviously there’s no such thing as women with disabilities or fat women or women who for whatever other reason are not considered conventionally attractive. No, every woman in the world is able to attain sex at the drop of a hat. Obviously.
Meet Eurosabra, the PUA so prolific he has apparently been rejected by 90% of women.
Because reality keeps confirming that that is the case.
This is starting to get into “women are shallow sluts and always think I’m repulsive because of my lazy eye” territory.
The more Eurosabra talks the more I suspect it is just his repulsive behavior pushing women away, not his limp.