So “dating” guru Roosh has a post up on his Return of Kings blog by another self-professed dating guru, Alex Matlock, who rates various types of “bad sex” according to the type of female partner who’s involved in them, including such charmingly named types as “The one that tries too much (aka The Disaster)” and “The one that doesn’t move (aka The Starfish or The Doll).”
I expected a good deal of standard-issue manosphere misogyny in Matlock’s list, but I honestly couldn’t make it past his description of what he regards as the second-worst type of female sex partner: “The one that’s scared (aka The Virgin).” Because what he’s describing doesn’t sound so much like “bad sex” as “date rape.”
[TRIGGER WARNING for what follows; emphasis mine.]
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This girl doesn’t necessarily have to be a virgin because she can still act the part many years after she’s popped that priceless cherry. She will usually look at you with fear in her eyes as if she has no idea about what’s going to happen. She gently pushes you away as if she’s not ready for the event and when it does happen she continues to act like it’s the first time. She usually sits in some extremely awkward positions that make you give up and just go missionary. This girl will eventually bust your nut but she’ll surely leave you with a sense of disappointment and/or guilt.
Uh, Mr. Matlock, I’m hoping for everyone’s sake that this is a hypothetical “humorous” scenario you’ve come up with for the sake of this article and not something you’ve been a part of in the actual real world on a regular basis, because, unless you’ve left out that portion of the hypothetical events in which the woman in question clearly and unequivocally consents to having sex with your hypothetical protagonist here, what you’ve just described as “bad sex” (for the hypothetical dude) is actually a description of, well, rape from the point of view of the rapist.
In which case that twinge of guilt your hypothetical protagonist hypothetically feels is probably just the tiny part of his hypothetical self that’s still human reacting to the fact that he JUST (hypothetically) FUCKING RAPED SOMEONE.
MRAs and PUAs and manospherean assholes generally like to pretend that consent is some weird and mysterious thing, but it’s really not. Here’s a hint: if a women looks at you with fear in her eyes and pushes you away all while sitting in a position that makes sex difficult …. all that means NO.
The fact that Matlock — despite those twinges of guilt — still doesn’t regard this as the worst kind of “bad sex” (for the guy) but merely the second-worst adds a certain level of absurdity to the horror.
Given Roosh’s publication of this piece by Matlock, and the fact that he himself has already confessed to committing what would be considered date rape by American standards by having sex with at woman too inebriated to give consent, perhaps it’s time to stop referring to Roosh as a dating guru and to start referring to him as a date rape guru.
I don’t really have anything else to say.
Here, as brain bleach, are some cats with smaller versions of themselves:
@pecunium
Yeah, I just don’t have the best reading comprehension today…brain all frazzled.
Enjoy the concert, Pecunium! 🙂
I’m still about 100 comments behind in reading this thread, but I just want to respond to Fedora’s last comment pointing out that Roosh didn’t write the post I wrote about in the OP, as if this was a new discovery. (Huh, perhaps that’s why I mentioned the author of the post I was responding to in the HEADLINE to my OP.)
Anyway, Fedora, if you are still having trouble understanding why people here might be calling Roosh himself a rapist, you could easily find the answer by reading to the end of my OP, but I’lll just spell it out again for you here. It’s because he wrote the following in his book Bang Iceland:
That’s not a socially awkward guy having success with the ladies. That’s a predator at work.
Says it all, really, that the troll who talks loftily of having higher aims in life than being liked or approved of by women … admires a rapist.
Back to real life problems that are actually problems.
melody. If you’re going to the doctor it might be worth getting your thyroid levels checked. Problems with reproductive system stuff can be the early signs of hypothyroidism. In any event, it’s worth getting a baseline for TSH* now because it’s very common in women as they get older. If you get more or worse symptoms later, the doc can see whether the levels are changing, which can’t be done if you’ve not got the earlier reading. You don’t want to be like me and get the diagnosis 20 years late.
TSH – thyroid stimulating hormone.
Wow, the thread asplodes while I’m away. Go figure! Black Fedora is disappointing, and Eurosabra is… *sigh* Eurosabra.
So more good news! I might be cleaning an acquaintance’s house, and thus getting a little scratch, depending on how my brain tolerates it. (Fortunately, cleaning is one of the better things I can do, since it involves no social interaction.)
I’m sitting on it to think about it for a bit, but I think I’ll give it a try. Though I do feel bad for the acquaintance, he seems so worried about my dignity.
Heh. He thinks I have dignity. Sssh, nobody tell him!
@Melody, if your cramps are getting worse each period, it would probably be wise to see a doctor.
I used to have seriously painful cramps, but fortunately I’m one of those women for whom long-term HBC like the shot and IUDs cause me to stop menstruating entirely. I never tried raspberry leaf for cramps, but when I had my IUD put in (by far the most painful experience of my life), it really helped with the cramping.
Yup. Funny how they’re all “I have gone my own way!! I have more important things in life than women!” but they spend all day whining online about women.
MGTOW apparently means MGNAW (Men Going Nowhere And Whining).
@cloudiah, Fade: Thanks! I’m extremely scared and extremely excited at the same time, though it will still be a few weeks and a lot of paperwork before I’ll know for sure.
Now, let’s try doing the blockquotes.
Or if you are a zombie who likes interrailing, traaaaiiiiinnnnssss!
I am also super envious of your hat, Kitteh (was the picture in this thread? I’ve lost track).
Thank you, RadicalParrot! I can’t remember where the pic was either. CRS, I haz it.
It’s just as well Mr K is on the other side of the veil. I’d spend half my time trying to reclaim my knitwear from him otherwise. ::sniff::
Oh and don’t forget zombie plumbers: draaaaiiiiinnnnssss!
@ Kittehserf I am so glad that I had just set my beer down before I read that. 🙂
My boyfriend and I have become zombies. After a hard day’s work, we cry: paaaaiiiiinnnnssss!
Joining late here. I took a gander at Black Fedora’s blog (glutton for punishment, me), and I am amused to see that even his own commenters think he’s a tool. In a reply to a post (entitled Build Your Castle) where BF proposes a “form of Lavender Marriage” because “single men are regarded as slightly suspicious”, someone comments:
And I just tried to use block-quotes for the first time so, fingers crossed…
Block quotes WIN!!
Sympathetic high fives for all the crampy people (Melody especially). My IUD was put in on Wednesday and my body is still telling me how it feels about it. Apparently, it’s not a fan. Sadly I don’t have a lot of practical advice for how to deal :(. I’ve been making it through on a steady diet of a) Advil and b) whining to whomever will listen. Pity my partner.
Ah, the ol’ troll standby of complaining about being silenced without recognizing the obvious fact that silencing would preclude public complaint. A classic.
I just wanted to comment on this:
When I was young and naive, I dated a PUA for a while. I thought that having a funny, slightly irreverent guy around who was really into me would be good for me, and that we could enjoy seeing each other. He sexually assaulted me.
Anyone who wants to advocate for PUAs and how “misunderstood” they are can go fuck themselves.
… nope.
M’lord does all of that for me ‘cept the pep in the step, ‘cos Stuffed Knee. But a PUA? Not frickin’ likely. PUAs don’t like women, so it’s all pretence.
@MDubz – internet hugs if you want ’em. 🙁
@pi male – that’s a relief. I hear beer’s a real pain to get off screens, and the pong if it gets into the keyboard … eww.
@Alex – gah! Does that mean I have Zombie Knee?
Speaking of which, saw the surgeon tonight and he didn’t recommend surgery. He doesn’t think it’s a torn meniscus, just referred pain from the cartilage damage. No surgery is good, but stuffed if I’m gonna lose FIVE KILOS like he suggested. That’s the weight of an entire Maddie and I’ve no wish to lose that much.
I think that was me, writing that. I was actually trying to reference… what’s his face? Glen Ross? The guy who popped in and went all “I know your secret desires, and you want a man to put the zest back in your life!” and it was weird and awkward and very telling about PuA’s and Black Fedora was mirroring him pretty much perfectly. (Make you feel centre of the world)
Hence the “Wow, deja vu” afterwards.
It’s pretty terrible in any other way. And it so weird, because, well, sure a funny and irrevent guy who digs you and thinks you’re awesome sounds nice but then you get… All The Other Stuff, and how fucking terrible that is, and it just sucks.
Jedi hugs, if you want them.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaah Fibinachi’s secret agent trick is working too well!
When did PUAs start writing like bad romance novels from 20 years ago anyway? I keep expecting them to suggest a romantic walk on the beach with a sexy viking next. Maybe they should dress up like Fabio to complete the image.
Very late to the party, but here goes:
@Fibinachi “A push up bra would be female peacocking”
Actually I’m fairly certain I’d look a lot less ridiculous in a push up bra than I would wearing space goggles, bandana and a furry top hat 😉
@Melody
Sympathies. I’m laid low too. I find that mixing up different types of pain killers (not in dangerously large quantities obviously) can help. And if it’s really bad, mixing it up with booze too. This may be overkill for you, but I have endometriosis so it can get kind of bad.
In fact, if your cramps are getting increasingly worse, it might be worth having that possibility checked out? You’ll probably need a scan to have it determíned though; it took them forever to work out what was wrong with me, and my cysts were the size of oranges at that point.
Seconding this, but if you test, insist on having your Free T3 and Free T4 tested as well (and thyroid antibodies as a bonus). I’d never have determined my issues were thyroid (Hashimoto’s) unless I’d gotten more comprehensive tests – TSH only reflects what your pituitary gland is doing, and mine was within the arbitrarily-determined limits.
Viscaria: Sympathy for the IUD, I had a partner get one, and she was laid up for about three days, with twinges for a week or so after. Then it was clear sailing.
Fingers crossed.