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alpha males antifeminism are these guys 12 years old? beta males douchebaggery evil fat fatties gullibility lying liars men invented everything men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny MRA only men pay taxes apparently playing the victim PUA red pill reddit shit that never happened

Alpha Dogging it with the Red Pill Subreddit

alphadog

So I spent a little time reading through The Red Pill subreddit yesterday and if there’s one thing that Red Pill Redditors aren’t, it’s fucking betas. No fucking way. They’re like the total fucking opposite of betas. And by that I mean they are ALPHA DOGS 4 LIFE.

Case in point: The totally rad insults they use to put the bitches in their place, as collected together in the recent thread “What Is The Most Cutting Insult You Have Said To A Woman Infield?” I mean, even the fact that they HAVE such a thread is totally ALPHA DOG but just listen to this ALPHA DOG shit they totally really say to women in real life totally for real:

GROWUP
That’s right! Emphasis totally his! In your face, old bitch!

I mean, that’s up there with Oscar Wilde’s famous line “shut up, bitch, I’m like Oscar Wilde and shit.”

Oh, but wait here’s another one:

wonderbread

Get it? Because she was dressed like WONDER WOMAN, but WONDER BREAD is a kind of FOOD. And if you were to eat a comically large amount of food — say, an entire factory’s worth of it — you would probably get very very FAT.

So by saying this he was implying that she was FAT.

So funny! And ALPHA as FUCK, if you’ll excuse my use of sentence enhancers for a moment. NOT THAT I NEED TO ASK YOUR PERMISSION TO SENTENCE ENHANCE. HOO-AH! DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

Hell, the Red Pillers are so ALPHA AS FUCK that some of them literally face down terrorists during their day job in law enforcement, then fuck their female partners that very night, then go to the RedPill subreddit to ask the assembled ALPHA AS FUCK Redditors for some romantic advice just in case they’re acting maybe a little too much like a beta with oneitis, even after that whole staring down terrorists thing.

donebeta

You might need to read that whole thread to see just how totally ALPHA AS FUCK it is. And obviously there’s no chance whatsoever that DoneWithBeta is making any of it up, I mean, who would do that, just go on the internet and make things up? That is so totally not alpha, why would anyone associated with the Red Pill subreddit do such a thing?

Oh, wait, it turns out that the post might just have been a little bit of an internet joke, and that DoneWithBeta’s story might just have been borrowed a teensy bit from the 2010 action comedy MacGruber. Apparently, none of the regulars in the Red Pill subreddit are beta enough to actually go to movies, because none of them noticed. But, hey, they did give the guy some totally ALPHA DOG ADVICE, which would have worked out awesome if the story had been real and the Red Pill mods hadn’t pussied out and deleted the thread (which is still there to read, even if it’s not visible on the subreddit any more).

Also there was a whole other fake relationship advice thread based on the plot of Othello that the Red Pillers thought was totes real but that’s because ALPHA DOGS DON’T READ SHAKESPEARE.

Need I remind you that FEMINISM IS DOOMED and that we’re going to RIDE THIS BITCH TO THE BOTTOM?

ridebitch

Yippie-ki-yay, sentence-enhancers!

Thanks to all those sniveling beta manginas and bitches in the Blue Pill subreddit for pointing me to some of this amazing ALPHA DOG shit.

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Ashley
11 years ago

Red pill men: I’m not an alpha, but I play one the internet.

😉

tarnishedsophia
11 years ago

“…everything they see was invented, constructed, installed and maintained by men.”

Because women don’t become and have never been plumbers, electricians, architects, laborers, construction workers, firefighters, cops, doctors, truck drivers, teachers, nurses, botanists, farmers, demolitionists, professors, office workers, business owners, cashiers, grocers, daycare workers, movers, postal workers, government agents, sanitation engineers, car manufacturers, veterinarians, massage therapists, delivery workers, CEOs, paper mill workers, garbage collectors, janitors…and we 100%…without any doubt…absolutely…CANNOT INVENT ANYTHING.

Seems legit. 😛

alephz
11 years ago

I often wonder if, perhaps, the Red Pill is not the one from the Matrix but is, in fact, some twisted variety of Gleemonex which freezes them in the moment of their purest hatred for them to live out forever.

hellkell
hellkell
11 years ago

These doods sound like a bunch of 12 year olds staying up way too late.

Auggie
Auggie
11 years ago

Do these people not realize that most women weren’t taken seriously as anything but brood mares before feminism? It’s kind of hard to go down in history as a famous inventor/”maintainer” if you were a woman, since you couldn’t get a serious education and couldn’t own property, or even *were* property.

Bonelady
Bonelady
11 years ago

Um, domestication of plants and invention of farming doesn’t count? Because given that in traditional societies, women gather and usually are the farmers, it’s pretty likely that they were the domesticators of plants and invented farming. And isn’t all that other stuff having to do with “civilization” only possible if the culture is farming? But it’s not like women did anything important in that area like the men did, I guess…

cloudiah
11 years ago

I’m pretty sure at this point that the MRM is composed almost entirely of 12-year-old boys.

Marie
Marie
11 years ago

I…the picture on the top of this article is so weird O_o

princessbonbon
11 years ago

I am almost positive the expression on that woman’s face in the first one was “what the bloody hell is he going on about.”

Robert
Robert
11 years ago

“Out with my boy”? To some ears, that would sound rather. . Spartan, and not in the intended way. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, assuming age of consent laws are observed. But the point – that using obscene language in public, loud enough to be overheard, is an indispensable part of being an Oooh-RAH MAN!!!eleventy – that’s the unexamined life that is not worth living.
So glad our sons aren’t picking that up.

Rane
Rane
11 years ago

Women did invent things. Google is your friend, all you need to do is ask. But the truth is sooo misandristic.

Anyway, these stories are pathetic. It sounds like a bunch of teenage boys on a playground bragging about their escapades. So dumb. Bet they’re real tough.

La Strega
11 years ago

The idea of a “ham planet” doing a “creeper dance” is kind of funny. Some of these guys have a way with words.

boumbette
boumbette
11 years ago

Sshhhhhh… This could have been one of the manboobz minion stealth ninja to infiltrate the MSJPLGDHRM (men’s social justice peace-loving gentle dove human rights movement). Someone get me some evidence to back up my baseless assertion!

Maude LL
11 years ago

Checking my name correction. Sometimes it magically changes on its own.

GreySky
GreySky
11 years ago

“Later when she’s in ear shot, I start telling my friends about the fat bitch that tried dancing with me and even pointed at her.”

These would likely be the same set of people who froth about how snobbish and cruel women are when rejecting men, yes?

Gillian
11 years ago

Well, to be fair, GreySky, men have feelings. Women are just shallow, callous b*tches who commit the atrocity of unfairly regulating access to the vagina for the poor menz who would totally, you know, die if they don’t get laid!

thekidwiththereplaceablehead

I’m so fucking alpha that I don’t even use feature complete software. Get some mangina beta testers for that shit, yo.

athywren
athywren
11 years ago

I just… but… is my calendar wrong? Is it April 1st? Please?

Ugh.
It’s funny, a little while back I had a discussion with a creationist who claimed that, “if evolution were true, there’s no reason that humans would be rational!”
Yeah… next time I talk to him, I’m sharing that link… because…. seriously.

Kittehserf
11 years ago

@athywren – that creationist’s answer made me want to say “What makes you think we are?” 😀

The whole “humans are rational” (which too often turns out to mean “men are rational”) line makes me roll my eyes so hard. Yes, rationality is part of our thought processes, but so is emotion, they’re entirely intermeshed, and someone lacking emotions isn’t someone I’d want to be around*. Not to mention that the people who like to pretend they’re totally rational are usually just dressing up their own biases and pretending they’re totes logical, and Othering anyone who disagrees or is in one of their prejudice target groups.

*not conflating this with people unable to express emotions, or read others’.

Quackers
Quackers
11 years ago

@GreySky

Also the same turds who complain that men always have to do the asking. Gee I wonder why women dont take the initiative to hit on men, given how open so many men are about teh ugly fatty fat ladies. Not only that but so many women who aren’t even fat think they are because of ridiculous beauty standards, thus making them feel even more aprehensive about asking men out.

Of course to these guys women are subhuman and only men feel the pain of rejection, so its okay to be cruel to women who try.

perry
perry
11 years ago

So the same alpha dude who complains that men are seen as dangerous & buffoonish goes on to say “It seems to make womyn’s panites moist, so fuck it, let’s ride this bitch to the bottom.” Because that’s not buffoonish at all, is it?

Chie Satonaka
Chie Satonaka
11 years ago

Ah, yes, the old “I don’t need the government” canard.

Obviously these people don’t breathe air, use electricity, don’t have running water, shit outside and bury it, grow all of their own food, and don’t drive on any roads. Because they don’t use anything that the government provides and maintains.

GreySky
GreySky
11 years ago

@Gillian and Quackers
Ah, but of course. Also, I was probably wrong, I mean these guys are ALPHA and shit, and as I understand it the definition of alpha (or ALPHA!!!11!!) is that women never reject you.

GreySky
GreySky
11 years ago

“Obviously these people don’t breathe air, use electricity, don’t have running water, shit outside and bury it, grow all of their own food, and don’t drive on any roads. Because they don’t use anything that the government provides and maintains.”

I think air would probably be available with or without a governmental body 😉 But as for the rest you’re right.

gelar
gelar
11 years ago

@Chie: It’s okay in that case; men created all of that stuff, and only men can live without that stuff.

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