I was a little saddened to read recently that A Voice for Men — the self-proclaimed “Men’s Human Rights” site that has posted an open call to firebomb government buildings in its “activism” section — will no longer be writing about little old me.
Yes, it’s true. In a recent post announcing that he would no longer be writing or caring about journalist Arthur Goldwag, who famously took on the misogyny of the Men’s Rights movement in a piece for the Southern Poverty Law Center, AVFM’s head douchebag Paul Elam also noted that he would no longer be writing or caring about me either.
“In the early days of this site, we used to write a fair amount about David Futrelle,” Elam wrote. “He was a nice, soft target; pudgy actually.”
But now, apparently, AVFM has gotten much too important to bother with soft, pudgy nobodies like me or Goldwag or the SPLC.
We don’t mention David anymore except as a passing joke. He is just another low-end blogger with a small audience of neurotic women who talk more about cats in his comments than what he writes. It is as close to physical intimacy as the guy will ever get.
It’s a little strange how much time Elam, a fiftysomething straight man, spends thinking about my sex life, but I suppose it will be a bit of a relief not to have to read so many of these fantasies of his in the pages of AVFM. Not to mention Elam’s bizarre conspiracy theories about me — like this one. (I wonder why Elam never came forward with the proof of those allegations like he promised he would? Hmm.)
So I was a little surprised when, only one day after Elam bid me that not-very-fond farewell, AVFM’s “managing editor” Dean Esmay decided to set forth yet another conspiracy theory about me and my alleged army of evil minions.
In the midst of a long, weird, barely coherent tirade directed at a writer for Vice magazine who’d approached AVFM with some questions for its stable of female MRAs, Esmay accused my evil minions (in advance) of writing to the Viceman pretending to be female MRAs in an attempt to make female MRAs look bad:
[M]aybe … one of David Futrelle’s minions will show up in your inbox and say “yeah I’m a female MRA and I support taking rights away from women and I hate women too because we women suck, put women who have abortions in prison praise jesus blargh!” and so on and so forth, because that’s just what a whole lot of people who oppose compassion and fundamental human rights for boys and men do: pretend to be MRAs or to be quoting MRAs just to make us look bad. We’ve seen it in action more than once. At least one asshole we know of pretty much does it as a full-time gig.
Dude, I hate to break it to you, but none of my “minions” needs to pretend to be a female MRA in order to make female MRAs look bad. Female MRAs like JudgyBitch and GirlWritesWhat and TyphonBlue are already doing an exemplary job of that already. I mean, seriously, did you read JudgyBitch’s thing about pedophilia the other day? I mean, wow.
Of course male MRAs are also doing a fantastic job making themselves look terrible as well, from Warren Farrell on down to that dude who thinks “friend zoning” should be punishable by law (and the dozens of Men’s Rights Redditors who upvoted him).
But, really, no single website has done more to make the Men’s Rights movement look terrible than A Voice for Men.
Seriously, fellas (and FeMRAs), take a bow. We here at Man Boobz couldn’t do it without you. I couldn’t make up the shit you spew if I tried. (And, for the record, I don’t try.)
ATTENTION-WAY AN-MAY OOBZ-BAY INIONS-MAY: I-way am-way alling-cay off-way our-way evious-day an-play o-tay impersonate-way emale-fay As-mRAY. Ean-day Esmay-way as-hay igured-fay it-way out-way. Ease-play eturn-ray o-tay alsely-fay accusing-way apless-hay etas-bay until-way urther-fay otice-nay. And-way on’t-day orget-fay o-tay eed-fay e-thay ats-cay.
Last weekend I attended the funeral of a man named Tom Berger. The Tom Berger I knew was nothing like the Tom Berger in this thread, and he would have been embarrassed to share the same name.
Oh I see. So as soon as women got the right to vote, then it was problem solved, mission accomplished, no more need for feminism. And while the second wave had major problems with intersectionality, to a even greater degree than the third wave now, the second wave fought to open up more career paths to women so they would have more options in life than to have to be financially dependent on a man. That dependence can trap women with men who mistreat them. The MRA’s think that being trapped with abusive men is a good thing, though, so of course they are against all progress made in the second wave.
Okay, too upset, smoking too much over this…so saying it. You’re on the map now, David, and whether you like it or not folks are going to come here to learn. Your commenters dismiss them: well, we’re not here to teach, go here there etc”. Bullshit. You want to act like an elitist high school clique, fine. Then you keep and earn the rep that your site already has. You’ve got lurkers; they’re reading, they’re judging. And they’re not all like you and yours. You’re already a force to be reckoned with. Use it, or not…up to you.
Two things: I’m an alcoholic and an addict. Do you know how many fucking comments here talk about drinking? Wine was my drink of choice, thank you very much. How many? I haven’t said one goddamn thing until now about your “jokes” about how drunk you are. I only got out of rehab in December 2012. Where’s your sympathy and understanding, not to mention your PC vocabulary, to my kind? You think it’s funny? I almost destroyed my marriage because of this illness…and you think it’s hilarious to make jokes about wine. hahaha Oh I’m so drunk! Yeah, I was, too. I would have ended up in the gutter.
I did not get a welcome package…
catscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscatscats!
… I lurk and I think this site has generally a pretty kind and intelligent commenter base. Then again I also think they can’t read my mind (people won’t know what offends me if I don’t tell, or even that I’m around) so what do I know. :/ Now I go back lurking.
This is a site that mocks misogyny. Pleas for education in a historically non-101 space can be just as derailing as anything else, especially when there’s this thing called Google. Some commenters have the spoons to educate, others do not. Demanding that we do is rather ignorant.
There is a trigger warning at the top of the page.
My sympathies on being an addict, but we don’t know it’s a trigger for someone unless they speak up.
Where did that even come from, Jeez.
Hello from Japan, everyone!
Essage-may ecieved-ray. Ill-way y-tray o-tay ind-fay ats-cay o-tay eed-fay. or-ay ehaps-pray uinea-gay igs-pay.*
*I only have one shtick… ::blushes::
Here David is, clearly* writing about something in hopes to get laid, and all we pay attention to is his cats XD Also, Aaliyah, I love your new avatar 😀
*sarcasm, obv, but better to clarify. Especially for the trolls…
@Wonderwoman
What the fuck. No.
It’s not a brand of crazy, it’s a brand of bigotry.
You probably should go back to lurking, at least to get the hang of it. People calling you out on shit isn’t anti free speech, ignoring the point that this is David’s blog, so he could ban you if he wanted, though that doesn’t happen much unless someone’s being super creepy or socking.
@Deoridhe
If it was they probably would never be given out! And that would make me sad :'(
Gonna be rambling here, but my 15 yr old brother hangs out in lots of gamer spaces (and reddit O_o) and manages not to be a misogynist. When we were talking about it he said he used to take in a lot of the rape culture stuff, and mostly what got him out of it seemed to be realizing what he was actually encouraging and growing up, so there’s hope it’s just temporary. (god, I hate saying that, because 16 should be old enough not to do that shit and realize it’s wrong, and it’s not fair that 16 year old girls have to deal with it…just rambling). Anyway, I love my brother <3
@Maude LL
Do you actually say that? Because that would be awesome.
@tom berger
Added the bold to fix it.
And going to post before my comment gets too long or my computer decides to smite me… *crosses fingers*
One of the funniest things I’ve ever read on AVfM, was Elam’s assertion that his blog was “too important globally” to fail. Even using Elam’s unsophisticated way of measuring “global importance” (hits on website), his blog is a miserable failure – Compare AVfM and Jezevel by way of comparison.
I look forward to the list of MRA achievements 2013.
It is notable that MRAs are so incompetent that they fail to capitalize on the misogyny already prevelant in the blogosphere.
A blog that has got into the top 20,000 most popular US websites does not a civil rights movement make.
Trtina, what?!
If you actually are in recovery, you’ll know about acceptance, and about the dangers of projection, and about self awareness, and about the difference between addicts and recreational usage.
I’m calling you out… You’re a concern troll?
The world is absolutely fill of ads for alcohol, stories of drunkeness. If you are in recovery. You’ll have learned coping methods?
@shigekuni
I think Tom is ignoring manboobz as well as the MGTOW are actually going their own way. So pretty standard for the manosphere…
@tom berger
And you would have a semblance of a point if the mrm were actually a human right movement!
Citation needed!
@gillyrosebee
Huh.Someone I missed that. When was it? (if you don’t mind answering. Just all knowledge-lacking today.
@athyrewn
Happens to me all the time here XD
@cloudiah
My silly lady brain can’t even be trusted with ironing. Last time I tried I got the iron out and set it up wrong, gave up, and haven’t ironed a shirt since!
@cthulhu’s intern
I volunteer to stand around and look young and stuff, while totally not having sex with any men! Sometimes, I even wear bikinis to *gasp* swimming pools!
@trtina
Ik,r? Once you get popular you owe your time to everyone who asks. Ever. And that’s real.
@trtina
I get not wanting to hear about alcohol if you’re in recovery and I don’t mind not talking about it (though obvious disclaimer: i am not everyone)
I will say that I think there’s a difference between talking about casual alcohol use (like, people mentioning their drinking and they’re just saying what they’re doing) and addictive alcohol use (like, if someone made a joke at the expense of alcoholics).
i think that people were talking about the first one when they were making jokes, not the second one, though if it trigger you it wasn’t good either way. However, everyone has mentioned we can’t read your mind, so just…. let people know if something’s bugging you. :/
I actually like the “MHRM” and “MHRA” things. It sounds like you’ve got something icky stuck in your throat:
MHRM
M-HRM
MMM-HRRRRRM
MUUUH-HUUURRRRRMMMM
MUUUUUUUH-HUUUUUUURRRRRR-RRRRAAAAAH *cough* *cough*
It’s also important to note that the MHRM as a whole, explicitly disavows violence or harassment. Some MHRAs engage in it, some feminists do. I do not assume those feminists represent feminism (they do a fine “job” of that themselves).
Myoo – warnings needed.
I nearly choked on the cheese and biscuit I’d just taken a bite of there.
Citation needed!
@Tom: so how does the Tom Ball manifesto HOSTED BY AVfM fit your narrative?
I don’t like to link to hate speech sites like AVfM, but here you are http://www.avoiceformen.com/activism/tom-ball-murdered-by-the-family-courts/
@trtina well as far as I know, alcoholism means finding ways of dealing with it. My professor, who went off the wagon in the 1970s, keeps saying that you are always a recovering alcoholic, in the sense that you always have to be aware of the danger of alcohol and its presence in the world near you. Trying to push it away from your awareness may not be helpful.
I don’t think I am an alcoholic, but it is a problem for me, as well. I have not had alcohol in months, because I am perennially on the brink of self harm and suicide. I actually have a prepared rope and a short drop installation ready. Recreational use of alcohol when I am alone is a VERY bad idea, but keeping away from any use or mention of alcohol online is not going to be helpful.
I do want to commend you for choosing to go to rehab, saving your marriage, I gather, in the process. I can tell you from my own experience how much braveness, insight and resolution it takes to take that step. I am not personally capable of doing it. You can only go upwards from here.
I’m super-uber-mega-ultra late with this, but: What do Cho and Columbine have to do with feminism?
(Someone showed a quote from an MRA who admired them for standing up against feminism on the first comment page).
HAHAHAHAHA. So what’s with posting Ball’s manifesto and doxxing the Canadian feminist on AVfM? HUH?
Methinks Tommyboy doth protest too much.
Oh, and Tommy? Men already have and have HAD all the rights, ever. Fuck you and your bowel movement.
AVFM didn’t just doxx the Canadian feminist, who was at least “guilty” of being a feminist, but also doxxed that Georgetown student who had nothing at all to do with the blog they associated her with, and sicced their attack monkeys on her? In fact, while they issued a flaccid retraction on their blog, the last I checked AVfM still had the allegations against her up on their Facebook page. So Berger, you’re a lying liar.
trtina, I also commend you on going to and sticking with rehab. But since recreational drinking and drug use aren’t normally considered off limits for conversation outside of straight edge spaces, it really isn’t reasonable to expect us to know how it effects you until you tell us. I wish you all the best with your continuing recovery.
I’m so pissed off with myself that it took until now to realise that the wordpress quote tag is just the html tag :
Anyway, I’d point out that, while this statement is true, it does allow MRA types to claim that feminists don’t believe that men have any problems. I don’t know if I’m just being pedantic, but I think we should probably specify that, all other things being equal, the man has more rights than the woman. A gay man lacks rights, in that he is denied the right to marry, or in the better cases, denied the right for true equality under the “separate but equal” bullshit that people don’t seem to want to realise has always been crap, so it doesn’t make sense to say that he has “all the rights.” Of course, a lesbian lacks those same rights, and also has to face gender inequality, but given their habit of apples to oranges comparisons, the MRAs are likely to point at a gay, black, homeless man and a heterosexual, white, middle class woman in order to make the point that men don’t have all the rights.
I don’t know, maybe it’s just a little point, and they’ll misrepresent us no matter how precise we are in our language, but it seems like it’s important to be clear so that it’s obvious when they’re doing it.
Fun story, speaking of gay rights, Random Radio News Talking Head Guy is complaining about how quickly the gay marriage reforms are being “forced through” here in England. Yeah. Lightning fast. Totally. ¬_¬
Feel free. My lawyer will be in touch to arrange royalty fees. 😛
There’s also the worse cases where “aggravated homosexuality” is punishable by death… didn’t mean to leave that out or give the impression that marriage is the worst of it by any means. Just in case I provoke an angry tangent.
David, I’m leaving for a while. Your blog is great. You get on the nerves of these MRA’s like no one else I’ve seen. Fantastic. But you’re wrong about this being a “safe place”. It isn’t. This is a public blog. Commenters jumping on newbies for using words that are probably just residual language issues as opposed to personal attacks isn’t doing you any favors. I guess I’m a “concern troll”.
Necrotic women? If I’m necrotic then they’re hopeless.