Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
as Budmin’s point is proven steadily more threadbare, he begins constructing a fantasy world around himself to make it so that he doesn’t have to face the fact that he is complaining about a societal problem that doesn’t exist.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I don’t know, maybe because you apparently think that all men are stupid. Seriously, thanks (I guess) for assuming that my overwhelming beauty gives me the power to compel men to obey my every whim.
My housemate? Totally, completely, unequivocally and absolutely gay. But hey, nice try with your threadbare stereotypes and gender essentialism.
What does it say about our trolls that they seem to consistently and overwhelmingly have a lower opinion of the intelligence, integrity and overall humanity of men than we evil, nasty feminists do?
@Bob Goblin_”So, when a female colleague says..”
Well that’s the thing isn’t it? Colleagues, coworkers and family are non sequiturs to this topic. I mean if there’s no possibility of a romantic involvement, these relationships would undoubtedly stay platonic.
Budmin, are you going to explain how voluntarily doing a favor makes you a human dish rag? Because until you do, all you’re doing is arguing that something no one thinks is true means repair friends exist.
@budmin
…why can people not date their colleagues and coworkers? Can we still date people who share hobbies with us, so long as they aren’t for money? My dad works at our karate dojo, but I just go there for fun (when my back doesn’t hate me). Which of us can date other people there? help me I am confused.
^Just to clarify, that was in response to:
This.
Because “reasons”, Fade. Besides, all men (regardless of orientation, etc) are basically helpless putty in the hands of evil, wily female creatures with ‘honey do’ lists.
Bob’s point is precisely on topic here. Your assertion boils down to any man who is asked a favor by any woman automatically becomes a “dishrag” because he is helpless to say no in the face of the potential for “romantic involvement.” That’s certainly what Farrell is suggesting; any female colleague or coworker (one imagines not family, though this is Warren “genitally caress your kids” Farrell after all, so maybe we can’t even exclude family) who asks a favor is inherently promising (but refusing) sex in order to manipulate men into doing work for free.
And you think they are basically too stupid to be able to make decisions for themselves as to who to help or not.
@Budmin
I just drove two hours through rush-hour traffic to drop a friend off somewhere. It wasn’t a big deal to me because I’m really good friends with this person. Was that dishrag-ish of me? What should I have asked for in return?
Right off the top of my head I would guess it is because you are an asshat as well as an MRA troll and is in dire desperate need of the banhammer. Criminy!
You’re not broadcasting from Earth, are you?
Because you have a narrow-minded, sexist perspective?
@fade I guess there’s a threshold that has to be reached. Doing one favor isn’t going to turn you into an automatic chump but if the cycle goes flirt, favor, flirt, favor,flirt, favor, favor…favor
Jyeah! It might be a good idea to avoid that, or at least ask the person out.
@Marie Sorry I just assumed that Bob Goblin would naturally be leery of office romances.
@gillyrosebee Oh! please accept my m0st humble apologies. It was not my intent to impune your character. I am but a lowly Socratic trying to learn.
…. So, one is a chump for choosing to do favors….?
Well, since it is their choice, i have a solution for you not to turn into a chump: don’t do people favors. Now you can stop whining about the alleged dish-rag-ness of people who are not you b/c they do stuff that YOU would not do.
I mean, what is your point here? You seem to be like, “Some people do favors (more than once) and THAT IS TERRIBLE!”
@budmin
…why?
Budmin, I’m pretty sure your intent was exactly to impune her character.
Also, you ignored my questions. Am I a dishrag or not?
@Augochlorella
it depends on your gender identity (sorry, I don’t know your PGPs). If you ID as a boy, you are a dish rag because you did a favor for a woman and she didn’t sleep with you (it doesn’t matter if you say you’re just friends OBVIOUSLY YOU”RE STILL SUPPOSED TO HAVE SEX)
If you aren’t a guy, I think you just don’t exist because women are all selfish and non-gender binary people don’t exist according to misogynists like these guys.
You know what’s a better idea? Asking them out before you do them any favours, instead of asking them out after they’re in a place of obligation. Just a thought.
@ Fade
I’m a woman, and so was my friend, but my friend was a lesbian. Does that blur the line a bit? Do I get to exist? I should probably mention that I am not attracted to women.
Almost.
If you are female (regardless of any other detail of your orientation or identity) you are a parasite, using your wiles to dishragify teh poor menz! Non gender binary folk are just a figment of the deranged imagination of ebil feminists. And that’s real.
Hmm…
Since you’re not attracted to women, you couldn’t have been attracted to her which means you couldn’t have been doing the favor to get in her pants which means you must’ve done it because you’re frien–
because you’re friends–
*brain implodes at this thought*
Why would you do a favor just because you’re friends? Don’t you know you should be saving all your favors to get laid?!?!?!?!?!
In conclusion, I’m not sure whether you exist.
@augochlorella I’m sure you are both parasites. After all, you usurped the place of some guy who might otherwise have been in a position to extract sex from your friend, and she wouldn’t be offering sex for him anyway.
Blergh. As long as you accept that all rationality must give way in the face of gender essentialism and binary ideology, it becomes distressingly easy to think like these idiots.
Augochlorella, If your friend wouldn’t do the same for you..Jyeah. If there’s a significant imbalance between what you do for her vs. what she does for you..JYEAH!
But like I said, I don’t know your threshold and I would dream of defining it for you. that would just be ridiculous.
Maybe my entire car trip was just a fevered, misandrist dream…
I just realized that before we started dating, my current S.O. and I didn’t do any favors for each other. We just made our respective attractions known. And then make-outs happened.
Did we do it wrong? Is our relationship ruined? Budmin, you’re apparently the expert of weighing the romantic lives of strangers on the internet. What do you think?
Obviously the Budmin troll keeps meticulous score so as not to be taken advantage of by his so called friends. Creepy troll is creepier every time he types.