Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
Hell, I just searched for “repair friend zone” and so far, I’m just getting results for this posts or links to this post. One is from some PUA site that uses the phrase “repair friend zone” as in “repair the friend zone” but that’s about it.
@kittehserf:
“I guess it’s just as well I don’t have any male friends who do repair stuff around our place. Plumbers and electricians and the like get paid in actual money, which suits both parties fine. At least, I suppose it does. They might have trouble making a living if they got paid in sex.”
I know I would.
Also, OT, but I think this video is hilarious for some reason. https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=S9Iq6LA7sZI
(Hi everyone! Finally got a new computer and can manboobz again!!!)
I…like why is dad with substitute husband? I so don’t want to know. Or is it just code for man who can do all those things silly women can’t. Man, my dad should really step up his game, I’ve been turning to my brother for
computer help cuz he’s a computer geekmanly manly menz activities silly women can’t do. And it is probably not good for my dad to be having his masculinity beaten by a scrawny 15 year old!@grumpycatisagirl
Seconded. Also, I love your name. 😀
I do this all the time at my dad’s, cuz he keeps all the dishes I like too high for me… Doesn’t happen where I normally live (with my mom) cuz since I’m there all the time we had the sensibility to not put everything out of short people range XD
@EmilyGoddess
Yay! Congrats! 😀
Cthulhu’s Intern: “…Has Pierre ever been interested in repairing cars?”
Please the gods, make it so!
What is it with these male-female friendship hating douchedrains? Do guys like Warren Farrell really think they’re speaking for all men, like it’s some kind of a club? I’d wager most, if not all, decent men would think twice about hanging out with such self-pitying, delusional whiners. I’m inexplicably reminded of this Girls With Slingshots strip: http://www.girlswithslingshots.com/comic/gws-1280/
It seems to boil down to them thinking all men are total shits just because they (MRAs) are.
These guys whine and carry on about ‘hypergamy’ and women’s inherent evil nature and wanting to sleep with alphas…. lets just PRETEND they are right about it all. The question is still: SO WHAT?
If it is women’s habit to reproduce with alphas and all that crap, then that is just nature, right? The hypergamy trait has evolved for the benefit of the species, so seriously guys, shut up.
But either way it ISN’T real, so please, still, shut up.
I guess we can only ask solidly happily married men or male relatives for help… lest it be misconstrued as a pretext for sex.
I think he starts with the premise that men and women cannot be friends. His argument seems to be that both women and men are mercenary and only pretend to friendship. There are people who view other people as resources. I suspect he is one.
Given that this is Warren “genitally caress” your kids Farrell I’m not sure that asking relatives for help is safe either.
My experience has been that of being “asked” by numerous women to do this or that. I know one that gets all kinds of things done for her this way. Part of me thinks it must be male chivalry er….i mean …ya know….patri…
He gives the “zipless fuck” a whole different meaning. Women have to be prepared to fuck any guy who’s nice to them or helps them at any time. Doesn’t matter if the help was unasked for or actively discouraged.
I suppose we should be grateful when someone rude lets a door slam in your face instead of holding it open. It means he isn’t demanding sex.
Also… now I’m starting to wonder if the men who hold the door open for me at the post office think this is leading to something. 😛
And one other thing I’m thinking of… so many of these assholes go on and on about women hitting a “wall” where they are just totally gross… well… when that happens it means we are free of all this weird ATM sex machine BS right? And we get to just be people?
I can’t imagine WHY these men think it is a THREAT to us that they will STOP this nonsense finally. Then helping me with my groceries is just helping me with my groceries and not a sexual transaction I don’t know about.
Though honestly, in my heart of hearts I still feel that many men who help a 55 year old woman do something STILL think they’re owed sex from her… even though just last weekend they were going on online about how women hit a “wall” at 25 where they are just repulsive.
This may be the manosphere revenge fantasy… but “the wall” is also leading women on into believing this crap ever really ends. Don’t tease me.
Eh, you probably still owe him sex, on account of how you were out in public while female.
Sex to show gratitude? It doesn’t exist, and thank god for that! Seriously, why would anyone want to be fucked as a thank you? If a woman fucks you, it’s because she was attracted to you. If you changed her tire AND she was attracted to you, that’s just dandy, but the sex had ZERO to do with the tire change. And how sad to think someone is fucking you for any other reason besides genuinely wanting to?
If you’re in the friend zone, it’s because I see you as a friend. Most people in my life fall into the friend zone. If any of my friends started fixing shit for me – this would not in and of itself result in release from friend zone, and promotion into sex zone. Fucking ridiculous.
Anyone who has a Pierre idea of any kind should make sure to drop a link into his forum thread! I’m not turning these out very fast, so it’s very easy for ideas to get lost in the shuffle.
@Nitram – “Seriously, why would anyone want to be fucked as a thank you? ”
Because creeps who think like this (assuming Farrell isn’t the only one) are dimly aware they’re never going to have sex with anyone any other way?
“And how sad to think someone is fucking you for any other reason besides genuinely wanting to? ”
I don’t think they care what the woman thinks as long as they get to shove it inside her. They barely seem to think we’re alive, and show all the time that they neither have nor want any understanding of other people.
Sort of related: I just read an extract from a book by a sociopath*. For all her self-justification and going on about how smart and charming she is, she came across as an utterly repellent person. These MRA types are like that, but without any intelligence to go with it.
*Confessions of a Sociopath: A Life Hiding in Plain Sight by M E Thomas, to be published 1 June.
I’m a lady, and just the other day I helped my lady friend move a whole load of heavy furniture AND I changed her tyre. What happens there? We’re both straight so who gets her repayment sex? OR maybe I am a just a very selfish lady because I took the place of some poor guy who could have helped her instead and I robbed him of the opportunity of getting some repayment sex. Gasp! MISANDRY!
OMG Adelaide, you thieving thieve* you! Next thing you’ll be filling your house with Scented Fucking Candles!
*of course it’s a word
Scented Fucking Candles and hard chairs as far as the eye can see, Kittehserf. A pillow for my kitty though, I can’t make her suffer… which I guess makes it even WORSE because she is a lady cat and I’m giving her special treatment and oh my god where does this rampant man-hating end!!!1!! 😉
CATS ARE MISANDRY
Of course hard chairs aren’t cruel to kitties when they choose to sit on ’em, usually ignoring the soft chair, soft couch, cushions, fluffy rug and padded cat baskets that have been provided.
Because Feline Perversity is a thing.
Oh, it’s most definitely a thing. Of all the numerous soft, comfy places around the house she could sleep, her favourite place is the bottom of a cardboard box (tipped on its side) in the middle of the hardwood kitchen floor. I did put a cushion in it because I thought it might make it nice and snuggly for her, but then she just jumped on top of the box and slept there instead…
I am laughing my head off now, because that is So Typical of kitties!
Maddie’s favourite beds at present (when she’s not zzzzzzzzzzzzing in the chair Mum used to think was hers) are her scratching board – you know those compressed cardboard thingies? – or a bright pink plastic bag on the floor. She’s decided hot pink is her colour. Given she’s a brown tabby with ginger tortie bits, I can’t say I agree.
The red canvas bag that Pumas now come in (appropriate, no?). Also a shirt that I dropped on the bedroom floor when I was changing. Apparently I’m not getting that back.