Hey fellas! While we’re talking about the evils of the Friend Zone and possible legal sanctions against the women who so often and so maliciously put us there — and while the women are distracted by that picture of Scrooge McDuck above — I’d like to warn you of another kind of Friend Zone you need to be wary of: the “Repair Friend” Zone.
I learned of this danger from none other than Warren Farrell himself, in the pages of his book Women Can’t Hear What Men Don’t Say (which amazingly does not have the subtitle “But It’s Not Like Angry Dudes On The Internet Are Going to Shut Up Any Time Soon”).
Here’s how old Warren explains it, perhaps exaggerating the innocence of the wily female Repair-Friend Zoners:
Single moms who rely on male friends for repairs — “he’s just a repair friend” — are often unaware that the man really isn’t sacrificing his Sunday afternoon in exchange for a Sunday night dinner. The truth is, if he’s making that type of sacrifice, it’s usually because he’s interested in her.
That’s right, ladies! Men never actually want to be just friends with you. Never. And when they act friendly, it’s just because they want to [insert weird creepy Warren Farrellesque euphemism for sex here]. Only instead of making a move on you they’d rather make a move on your car, and just sort of hope you’ll get the hint.
I’ve seen many single moms who have men who they claim are “just friends” work on their cars, do repairs, help them move. They think nothing of it. (Which says it all.) When she starts dating someone seriously, the “repair friend” feels hurt and her new boyfriend feels suspicious. And Mom feels caught between a rock and a hard place, so to speak.
Is Farrell making some sort of awkward boner joke here?
Anyway, for Farrell, this is somehow all the fault of women, and feminism, or misandry, or something.
This attitude rests on a deeper foundation. Just as women who are poor turn to the government as a substitute husband (in the form of welfare and AFDC payments), so women without husbands often unconsciously turn to substitute husbands, such as dads, “repair friends,”and male neighbors.
So, fellas, be careful out there. One moment you’ll be chatting casually over the fence with the former Mrs. Jones, and the next thing you know you’ll be in her basement buried deep in her washing machine trying to fix, I dunno, whatever is inside of washing machines that might need fixing, I’m not really very mechanical.
Come to think of it a female friend of mine had me change a light bulb the other day that she couldn’t reach. Granted, I don’t want to have sex with her, and also she’s fixed my bike on several occasions and sometimes brings me cake, but, still, I think I may have just been Light Bulb Friend Zoned.
I somehow stumbled into a PUA internest when I was 16 or 17. Oddly enough, even as a horny, hormonal teenager, I saw it for the bullshit it was… it might’ve been the insistence on stupid hats crossing into my loathing for Jamiroquai more than actual reasoning, but at least the result was good.
you own me the cookie I just chocked on.
@pineapplecookies
neener-neener 😛
*owe
damm!! >.<
Aaliyah — probably only sorta helpful, but praise their smarts, athletics, stuff they’re good at that isn’t the shit society is throwing at them about weight and fashion and body imagine. Eg “you’re good at math
for a girl” (not that you’d say the for a girl bit, but you get my point, I hope)“it might’ve been the insistence on stupid hats”
You talking about fedoras? Them’s fightin’ words, fella! 😉
“neener-neener”
And now you owe me a chicken sammich.
That’s an excellent idea – thank you. I’ve always complimented them on things like smarts and athletics but not necessarily for that reason.
Nonono – stupid hats
OMG
now you owe me a piece of cheese
you’re gonna spend ALL DAY in the Kitchen of Reparation at this rate
Actually it’d be really good if someone convinced PUAs to wear hats like that. It’d be like a warning sign.
I already made you a chicken sammich btw. Proper chunks of chicken filling four half pitta pockets, lightly drizzled with barbeque or tomato sauce. Unfortunately I eated it.
*Looks at stupid hat link*
Oh my god, that guy is wearing a ridiculous hat! That must mean he doesn’t care what other people think of him, which makes him attractive to me! If only he would tell me that my nails were fake (knocking me off my pedestal!) I would totally bang him in ways that would probably not be particularly pleasurable for me but would definitely get him off.
That’s how women think, right?
@Viscaria
Are you attempting to subtly discredit the science (and art!) of the up pick? Because I won’t stand for that! It works, it totally does. I know this to be true, because I read it on a website, and websites don’t lie!
I will never forgive you for how much you made me sporfle with “the up pick” XD
🙁
I guess that’s my cue to run away then. Bedward, before the feminazi’s come for me! 😛
Good night.
The up pick?
Don’t tell me Yoda’s a PUA too! :O
I am glad to know you have succumbed to cat mind control, however.
Niters athywren! 🙂
That hat’s even sillier than the slippers Mr K threatened to make years ago. (He prefers wandering around in his socks.) I suggested slippers and he flashed up an image of himself in large pink fluffy ones.
Subtle, not!
Very well. Tell you, I won’t, but discover this… you must.
My bedside lamp is making horrifying noises. Such misandry!
*is asleep*
Aaliyah — if it wasn’t obvious, I meant to strike through “for a girl” and failed. And no comparing them to each other (or their friends, but particularly each other since you’re inadvertently putting down the other in the process).
Yeah, if I never hear “why csn’t you be as good at X as your brother” again…dude, he was saludictorian cuz he went to tech school and did nothing else, I went to public school and did ALL THE THINGS (like, I slept senior year? When?!? Why can’t I get straight As? Why can’t he be the one keeping the GSA afloat? Oh right, that doesn’t count as anything good to bigots /rant)
If I saw someone who was dressed like Mystery I’d be all “oh, was this meant to be a costume party? that wasn’t mentioned on the invitations”. Someone needs to share Coco Chanel’s words of wisdom about looking in the mirror before you leave the house and taking off one accessory with that guy. He’s like a walking Christmas tree.
For some reason my mind skimmed over “for a girl,” so no worries. =P I got the gist of what you were saying, especially since I understand your views. (I certainly can’t imagine you wanting to reinforce gender norms)
The only people I don’t give the benefit of doubt to here are people who prove themselves to be dishonest assholes.
They have. It’s called peacocking.
“They have. It’s called peacocking.”
Except they’ve confused peacocking with clowning!